61. Now I Know How to Work Well With Others
I had been doing design work in the church for a few years, and in the course of my duty, I had gradually mastered some principles of graphic design and gained some experience. Most people also commented that I had a diligent attitude toward my duty, which made me feel pretty good about myself. In February 2022, due to work needs, the church arranged for Sister Valerie and me to cooperate on design work. After a while, I found that she was kind of careless in her duty and didn’t grasp the principles very well, and sometimes also made some pretty glaring mistakes, which meant some designs had to be reworked and revised. I started to look down on her, thinking she had many issues in her duty, that she wasn’t as meticulous as I was, nor as adept at applying principles flexibly. Moreover, most of the suggestions I made at work were pretty much all accepted by her without much disagreement, which made me feel even better about myself. Later on, whenever there were issues that needed to be discussed, I didn’t want to go to her for advice anymore. Even though she would sometimes share her thoughts, I simply wouldn’t listen, and just kept insisting my viewpoint was correct and that she should follow my lead.
I remember one time, Valerie and I had different opinions about the concept of a design. I thought her concept was quite plain and wouldn’t really catch people’s eyes, and that we should go with my concept instead. I kept explaining how my idea was innovative and not just a cliché, and how her perspective was unsuitable. When she tried to explain her reasoning, I thought to myself, “I’ve done more designs than you and understand the principles better, so it’d be more accurate to do things my way.” So, I just interrupted her and started pushing my point again. But she still didn’t agree with my suggestion, and said she wanted to consult with other brothers and sisters. I lost my patience somewhat, thinking, “What’s there to ask? This isn’t a difficult issue; you could just go with my suggestion, couldn’t you?” But to my surprise, after consulting with the others, most of them judged the matter according to the principles, and felt that Valerie’s concept and perspective were more suitable. Even though they weren’t as innovative, they were more aligned with the theme. Hearing this, I felt a bit ashamed, and I couldn’t believe that her concept was actually better than mine. Another time, I asked Valerie to help with color adjustment on a design, and I told her how to make adjustments. Later, I noticed that she didn’t follow the method I taught her. Instead, she used a method she thought was better. I was pretty angry when I saw this, and asked her in a pressing tone, “Why didn’t you follow my method? We’ve always used this method for color adjustment; what if there’s a problem with your adjustments?” She quickly replied, “I’m not very good with the method you mentioned, so I used the method I’m more familiar with.” I wanted to continue criticizing her, but I realized that I was speaking with hotheadedness, so I stopped.
One day, she shared her recent state, and said, “I always feel inferior doing my duty with you, and constantly afraid that if I don’t do things your way, you’ll criticize me. Like last time when I did the color adjustment my way, just to make things quicker and easier, I was honestly pretty scared when you questioned me.” I felt deeply distressed when I heard this. I had never expected she would actually be afraid to cooperate with me. Later, I also noticed that there were often issues that she could have easily handled on her own, but she would still come to ask me first, and only dare to handle things after I approved. I realized that there was a problem in our cooperation, so I prayed to God, asking Him to enlighten me to know myself. Later, I read a passage of God’s words: “How is the term ‘cooperation’ to be explained and practiced? (Discussing things when they arise.) Yes, that’s one way of practicing it. What else? (Offsetting one’s weaknesses with the other’s strengths, supervising each other.) That fits entirely; practicing like that is cooperating in harmony. Is there more? Soliciting the other’s opinion when things happen—isn’t that cooperation? (Yes.) If one person fellowships theirs, and the other theirs, and in the end, they just go with the first person’s fellowship, why go through the motions? That’s not cooperation—it’s out of line with the principles, and it doesn’t yield the results of cooperation. If you speak on and on, like a machine gun, and don’t give others who’d like to speak the chance, and don’t listen to others even after you’ve spoken all your ideas, is that discussion? Is it fellowship? That’s just going through the motions—it’s not cooperation. What is cooperation, then? It’s when you, having spoken your ideas and decisions, can solicit the other’s opinions and views, then hold your and their statements and views against each other for comparison, with a few people exercising discernment on them together, and seeking the principles, thus coming to a common understanding and determining the correct path of practice. That’s what it means to discuss and to fellowship—that’s what ‘cooperation’ means” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). After reading God’s words, I understood that true cooperation means being able to discuss matters together, complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses, seek the truth principles together, and perform our duties according to God’s requirements. This is what real cooperation is. Reflecting on our time together up to then, although Valerie and I did our duties together, I didn’t truly cooperate with her. I thought I was more diligent in how I did things and that I had a better understanding than her, so I always looked down on her, and my words and actions were full of disdain for her. When we discussed issues, I rarely took the initiative to seek her advice, and even when I did, I would just go through the motions, having already decided that I was right, and completely refusing to accept her ideas at all. I even lost all sense of reason and interrupted her, criticizing her in a pressing tone, just wanting her to follow my lead. In my duty, I was always self-centered and domineering; there was never any mutual discussion or complementing with Valerie, and everything was always just done my way. As a result, after working together for a while, she became so constrained by me that she didn’t dare handle problems on her own, and was constantly afraid that if she didn’t do things my way, I would reprimand her. I saw that there was no harmonious cooperation at all between her and me, and that all I had done was constrain and harm her. I felt so guilty and sought to find a solution to my problem.
One day during my devotionals, I read a couple of passages where God exposes antichrists and I gained some understanding of my own state. Almighty God says: “On the surface, it may seem like some antichrists have assistants or partners, but the fact is that when something happens, no matter how right others may be, antichrists never listen to what they have to say. They don’t even take it into account, much less discuss it or fellowship about it. They don’t pay any attention at all, as if others may as well not be there. When antichrists listen to what others have to say, they are merely going through the motions or performing an act for others to witness. But when it ultimately comes time for the final decision, it is the antichrists who call the shots; anyone else’s words are wasted breath, they don’t count at all. For example, when two people are responsible for something, and one of them has the essence of an antichrist, what is exhibited in this person? No matter what it is, they and they alone are the one who gets the ball rolling, who asks the questions, who sorts things out, and who comes up with a solution. And most of the time, they keep their partner completely in the dark. What is their partner in their eyes? Not their deputy, but simply window dressing. In the antichrist’s eyes, their partner simply doesn’t exist. Whenever there is a problem, the antichrist thinks it over, and once they have decided on a course of action, they inform everyone else that this is how it is to be done, and no one is allowed to question it. What is the essence of their cooperation with others? Fundamentally it is to have the final say, never discussing problems with anyone else, taking sole responsibility for the work, and turning their partners into window dressing” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). “The first manifestation of antichrists’ having others submit only to them, not the truth or God, is that they’re unable to cooperate with anyone. Some may say, ‘Being unable to cooperate with anyone isn’t the same as having others submit only to them.’ Being unable to cooperate with anyone means that they don’t heed anyone’s words or solicit anyone’s suggestions—they don’t even seek God’s intentions or the truth principles. They just act and behave according to their own will. What’s implicit in this? They’re the ones who reign in their work, not the truth, not God. So, the principle of their work is to have others heed what they say, and treat them as if they were the truth, as if they were God” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). After reading God’s words, I felt deeply ashamed. The principle by which antichrists work is to wield power themselves, making others submit to them, rather than submitting to God and the truth principles. Reflecting on my cooperation with Valerie, I realized I had been revealing the same disposition. On the surface, it seemed that Valerie and I were cooperating in our duties together, but really, in my heart, I only regarded her as a follower. I made her obey all my decisions and conform to my ideas, as if she was doing her duty for me. When she offered suggestions, I didn’t seek to understand whether her suggestions were in line with the truth principles or had merit; I just kept insisting that my views were correct. When she wanted to consult others for relevant principles, I lost my patience, thinking it was completely unnecessary. A believer should honor God as great, seek His intentions in all things, and submit to His words and the truth principles. But I was too arrogant and self-righteous. Not only did I fail to seek truth principles when faced with matters, but I also always wanted others to submit to me and follow my lead. I treated my own ideas as truth principles for others to follow and obey, and this is the path of an antichrist! When brothers and sisters cooperate in their duties, it is to help and complement one another, as well as to supervise and curb each other, so that deviations in duties are minimized to the greatest extent possible, and so that we all act according to truth principles, achieving the best results for church work. But I didn’t cooperate with others. Not only did this lead to poor performance of duties, but it also made me prone to violating principles and disrupting and disturbing the work. I thought about some of the antichrists who were expelled from the church for being arrogant, conceited, and acting arbitrarily, always demanding that others submit to them instead of seeking the truth and submitting to God. As a result, they disrupted and disturbed church work, and brought much harm and constraint to brothers and sisters, and in the end, they were expelled and eliminated for their absolute refusal to repent. If I still didn’t repent, my final outcome would be the same as those antichrists—elimination and punishment. These thoughts scared me and I didn’t want to carry on down this wrong path, so I quickly prayed to God, asking Him to guide me in understanding myself. I wanted to repent to God.
Over the next few days, I kept wondering, “Why can’t I cooperate harmoniously with others? What is the root of this problem?” One day, I read a passage of God’s words, and gained some understanding of my issues. Almighty God says: “If, in your heart, you truly understand the truth, then you will know how to practice the truth and submit to God, and will naturally embark on the path of pursuing the truth. If the path you walk is the right one, and in line with God’s intentions, then the work of the Holy Spirit will not leave you—in which case there will be less and less chance of you betraying God. Without the truth, it is easy to do evil, and you will do it despite yourself. For example, if you have an arrogant and conceited disposition, then being told not to oppose God makes no difference, you can’t help yourself, it is beyond your control. You would not do it on purpose; you would do it under the domination of your arrogant and conceited nature. Your arrogance and conceit would make you look down on God and see Him as being of no account; they would cause you to exalt yourself, constantly put yourself on display; they would make you scorn others, they would leave no one in your heart but yourself; they would rob you of God’s place in your heart, and ultimately cause you to sit in the place of God and demand that people submit to you, and make you venerate your own thoughts, ideas, and notions as the truth. So much evil is done by people under the dominance of their arrogant and conceited nature!” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Pursuing the Truth Can One Achieve a Change in Disposition). After reading God’s words, I understood that the root of my inability to cooperate harmoniously with Valerie was primarily my overly arrogant nature. I was living by Satan’s poison of “In all the universe, only I reign supreme” and I always saw myself as superior. When my duty yielded some results, I started to think of myself as special and look down on her in every way, as if no one else was as good as me. In doing my duty with this kind of disposition, I became really self-assured, even believing that all my opinions were correct, and I often oriented duty around myself, acting arbitrarily without seeking God’s intentions at all. When discussing issues with Valerie, I always wanted her to do things my way, and when she didn’t, I wanted to lose my temper, upbraid, and put her down, forcing her to obey, which resulted in her being constrained by me and afraid to cooperate with me. The more I thought about it, the scarier it seemed, and I finally realized that my arrogant disposition had caused me to lose my humanity and reason, and my God-fearing heart, which had made me vicious. Unknowingly, this had also affected the work of the church, and if I didn’t resolve this arrogant disposition, I’d really be in danger. At this moment, I realized that my arrogance stemmed from always thinking I was better than others. But was I really all that great? God says: “To perform your duty adequately, it does not matter how many years you have believed in God, how many duties you have performed, nor how many contributions you have made to God’s house, much less does it matter how experienced you are in your duty. The main thing God looks at is the path a person takes. In other words, He looks at one’s attitude toward the truth and the principles, direction, origin, and starting point behind one’s actions. God focuses on these things; they are what determine the path you walk. … Whatever realm your gift or specialty is in, or wherever you may have some vocational knowledge, using these things in the performance of a duty is most proper—it is the only way to perform your duty well. One prong is relying on conscience and reason to perform your duty, and the other is that you must seek the truth to resolve your corrupt disposition. One gains life entry by performing their duty in this way, and they become able to perform their duty adequately” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Adequate Performance of Duty?). From God’s words, I realized that whether a person’s performance of duty is up to standard doesn’t depend on how long they’ve been performing their duty or how much experience they have, and that the most important thing is that a person is on the right path, seeking truth to resolve their corrupt disposition, and acting according to principles. I always looked down on Valerie and couldn’t cooperate harmoniously with her, mainly because I felt that I understood the work better than her, had more experience, and was more meticulous in my duty. These were indeed able to improve the effectiveness of my duty to an extent, but these things are not the truth. Moreover, in different contexts, the technical knowledge and experience I have may not always be applicable. For example, when I was working with Valerie, sometimes I judged how to handle things based on my own experience, but because I was arrogant, self-righteous, and not seeking the truth principles, what I ended up doing wasn’t appropriate. Although she had shortcomings, by seeking principles, she was still able to identify problems. I then realized that I wasn’t better than others, and that my previous arrogance and self-righteousness was truly unreasonable! Now I understood that only by cooperating and complementing each other, seeking truth together, and acting according to principles can we do our duties well.
Later, when cooperating with Valerie on a design again, I consciously asked for her opinions first, and when she expressed her views, I was able to listen attentively. After some time, I found that Valerie had strengths worth learning from, and that she was able to accept others’ suggestions and focus on seeking truth, which were qualities I didn’t possess. At this point, I realized that having such a person to cooperate with who can complement my shortcomings in my duty is truly wonderful. At the same time, I learned to properly handle Valerie’s shortcomings, and I would try to fellowship and help her understand the principles she didn’t grasp. I would also tell her any methods I had found that could improve work effectiveness. Our cooperation gradually improved, and the overall effectiveness of our duties also improved. Later, I read another passage of God’s words: “What effect will this harmonious cooperation achieve? The effect is huge. You will gain things you never had before, which are the light of truth and the realities of life; you will discover others’ merits and learn from their strengths. There’s something else: You conceive of other people as stupid, dim-witted, foolish, inferior to you, but when you listen to their opinions, or other people open up to you, you will unwittingly discover that no one is quite as ordinary as you think, that everyone can offer up different thoughts and ideas, and that everyone has their own merits. If you learn to harmoniously cooperate, beyond just helping you learn from the strengths of others, it can reveal your arrogance and self-righteousness, and stop you from imagining that you are clever. When you no longer consider yourself smarter and better than everyone else, you will cease to live in this narcissistic and self-appreciative state. And that will protect you, will it not? Such is the lesson you should learn and the benefit you should gain from cooperating with others” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). The more I read God’s words, the more I realized how practical they are. Learning to cooperate with others in our duties not only allows the work to achieve better results and helps compensate for my own shortcomings, but also allows me to more accurately recognize my own abilities, keeping me from acting on my own ideas and causing losses to the church’s work. This was beneficial both to the church’s work and to myself.
Later, there was a time when I sent a completed design to Brother Camden for his review. To my surprise, he said that the overall design looked a bit dark, and so I spoke with him about my considerations. But he didn’t accept my view and still said the overall design was too dark, even suggesting that I go back and evaluate it according to principles again or ask other brothers and sisters to see if they noticed the same issue. I thought to myself, “I’m the design specialist here, so who knows better, you or me? I’ve already evaluated it according to principles, so how could there be a problem? And asking me to consult with others? I really don’t think there’s any need for that!” I really wanted to refute him. But then I realized I was revealing an arrogant disposition again, so I quickly prayed to God in my heart, asking Him to keep me from acting on my corrupt disposition again, and saying that I was willing to put myself aside and seek the truth principles. After praying, I suddenly thought of God’s words: “If someone makes a suggestion, you must first accept it, and then let everyone confirm the correct path of practice. If nobody has any issues with it, you can then determine the most appropriate way of doing things and act in that way. If a problem is discovered, then you must solicit everyone’s opinions, and you should all seek the truth and fellowship on it together, and in that way, you will gain the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit. When your hearts are illuminated, and you have a better path, the results that you achieve will be better than before. Is this not the guidance of God? It is a marvelous thing! If you can avoid being self-righteous, if you can let go of your imaginings and ideas, and if you can listen to others’ correct opinions, you will be able to obtain the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit. Your heart will be illuminated and you will be able to find the correct path. You will have a way forward, and when you put it into practice, it will definitely be in accordance with the truth. Through such practice and experience you will learn how to practice the truth, and at the same time you will learn something new about that area of work. Is this not a good thing?” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Often Living Before God Can One Have a Normal Relationship With Him). Reflecting on God’s words, I gained a clear path of practice. When things happen, I can’t be so completely self-assured, and I should earnestly consider others’ suggestions, seek the truth principles, and practice according to God’s requirements. Only then can I do my duty well. Even if the person making a suggestion isn’t a specialist, I should still consider whether the issue exists, instead of just resisting and refusing to accept it. So I quickly consulted with the supervisor. Through seeking and communicating, I finally realized that I had misunderstood the theme, and that the issue raised by Camden really did exist.
After this experience, I realized that harmonious cooperation is indispensable in doing duty, and that listening more to others’ suggestions not only benefits the church work, but also makes up for my own deficiencies in my duty. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and only by complementing one another’s strengths and cooperating harmoniously together can we do our duties well. As God says: “Cooperation among brothers and sisters is a process of offsetting one’s weaknesses with another’s strengths. You use your strengths to compensate for others’ shortcomings, and others use their strengths to make up for your insufficiencies. This is what it means to offset one’s weaknesses with others’ strengths and to cooperate harmoniously. Only when cooperating in harmony can people be blessed before God, and the more of this one experiences, the more reality they possess, their path grows brighter as they walk it, and they become ever more at ease” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. On Harmonious Cooperation).