By Li Guo, China

In mid-June 2023, I was chosen to be a church leader. After a few days of familiarizing myself with the work, my partnered sister Yang Xin and I divided up our church work responsibilities. I was responsible mainly for gospel and cleansing work. I recalled that not long before, some leaders and workers responsible for the gospel work were dismissed for not doing real work. Some of the things they did were malicious in nature, going against work arrangements and doing things their own way, deceiving both those above and below them, causing severe disturbance and disruption to the church’s work, and eventually leading to their expulsion. I became worried that if I did not do the gospel work well, I would also be revealed as a false leader. If I caused damage to the work, and accumulated too many transgressions, I might have no positive outcome and destination. With this in mind, I no longer wanted to be responsible for the gospel work. But I also felt that such thinking wasn’t in line with God’s intention, so I reluctantly accepted the responsibility.

A few days later, a higher-level leader sent a letter pruning Yang Xin for doing her duties sluggishly when she was responsible for the gospel work before, and for not working in harmony with the gospel workers, thereby delaying the gospel work. After Yang Xin saw the letter, she was so upset that she cried. I fellowshipped with her that she must treat the situation correctly, but inside I was deeply unsettled, thinking, “Now I am in charge of the gospel work. Can I do it well? If I delay the work, the next person to be pruned will be me. I lack work capability, and when it comes to addressing the notions and difficulties of the potential gospel recipients, I am also lacking. If I were to delay the gospel work, it would be an evil deed, and if the higher-level leaders hold me accountable, not only will I be pruned, but I might also be dismissed. If I accumulate evil deeds rather than good ones in doing my duties, will I still be able to attain God’s approval?” I began to feel that the duties of a leader were not easy to do, and I planned to resign once a suitable person was found to replace me. Afterward, I became very passive in my duties. Yang Xin reminded me that I should reassign the unsuitable gospel workers, and reminded me of how to follow up with and implement the gospel work, but I just listened without being really engaged. One day, my face suddenly became red and swollen, and after two days, the swelling still hadn’t gone down. In my heart I began to wonder, “Could this be God’s discipline coming down upon me? God has graced me with the opportunity to train in being a leader, yet I’m being a coward and want to reject my duty. Is this not a betrayal of God?” I then prayed and sought God on my current state.

While I was seeking, I came across God’s words: “Some people are afraid of taking responsibility while performing their duty. If the church gives them a job to do, they will first consider whether the job requires them to take responsibility, and if it does, they will not accept the job. Their conditions for performing a duty are, first, that it must be a slack job; second, that it is not busy or tiring; and third, that no matter what they do, they do not take any responsibility. This is the only kind of duty they take on. What sort of a person is this? Is this not a slippery, deceitful person? They do not want to shoulder even the smallest amount of responsibility. They even fear that leaves will break their skull when they fall from trees. What duty can a person like this perform? What use could they have in the house of God? The work of the house of God has to do with the work of battling Satan, as well as spreading the kingdom gospel. What duty does not entail responsibilities? Would you say that being a leader carries responsibility? Are their responsibilities not all the greater, and must they not take responsibility all the more? Regardless of whether you spread the gospel, testify, make videos, and so on—no matter what work you do—so long as it pertains to the truth principles, it carries with it responsibilities. If the performance of your duty is unprincipled, it will affect the work of God’s house, and if you are afraid of taking responsibility, then you cannot perform any duty. Is someone who fears taking responsibility in performing their duty cowardly, or is there a problem with their disposition? You must be able to tell the difference. The fact is that this is not an issue of cowardice. If that person were after wealth, or they were doing something in their own interest, how could they be so brave? They would take on any risk. But when they do things for the church, for God’s house, they take on no risk at all. Such people are selfish and vile, the most treacherous of all. Anyone who does not take responsibility in performing a duty is not the least bit sincere to God, to say nothing of their loyalty. What sort of person dares to take responsibility? What sort of person has the courage to bear a heavy burden? Someone who takes the lead and goes bravely forth at the most crucial moment in the work of God’s house, who is not afraid to bear a heavy responsibility and endure great hardship when they see the work that is most important and crucial. That is someone loyal to God, a good soldier of Christ. Is it the case that everyone who fears taking responsibility in their duty does so because they do not understand the truth? No; it is a problem in their humanity. They have no sense of justice or responsibility, they are selfish and vile people, not true-hearted believers in God, and they do not accept the truth in the least. For this reason, they cannot be saved” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). God’s words are very clear: Those who are afraid of shouldering responsibility are concerned only with their own interests. They are unwilling to suffer or make sacrifices in the performance of their duties. Such people are selfish and despicable, and they are the most cunning of individuals. But those who are loyal to God have the courage to shoulder heavy burdens, and they are able to step up and take on the work of God’s house in critical moments. I reflected on myself, and on how when I heard that I had been chosen to be a leader and to be responsible for gospel work, I kept turning it over in my mind, considering the decision carefully, thinking about whether this duty would be beneficial to me, worrying that if I disrupted and disturbed the work, I might be dismissed or cleared out. Because of this, I was hesitant to accept this duty. Later, even though I reluctantly accepted, I spent my days feeling like a startled bird, afraid of taking responsibility for doing the work poorly, even thinking of resigning. A simple arrangement of my duty made me constantly mull over and calculate matters. I was truly deceitful! I also realized that in God’s house, no matter what duty one does, this duty must be done according to truth principles in order to be done well. If one acts recklessly and without principles, and in so doing delays the work, they must bear that responsibility. This is true not only for the duty of a leader, but for every duty one does. So I prayed to God, “God, my constant desire to shirk my leadership duty is not in line with Your intentions. I don’t want to evade responsibility anymore. I ask that You give me the faith and strength necessary to shoulder this duty.” After that, I became more proactive in my duties, actively taking part in gospel work, acquainting myself with the details of work, and following up on and supervising matters. After applying myself in this way for a while, the gospel work made some progress.

In July 2023, the church was subject to arrests by the CCP, and many brothers and sisters were arrested. Among them was a Judas who gave up the names of 32 people, even pointing out the homes of these brothers and sisters to the police. I was furious. When I thought about the work that would have to be done in the aftermath, I felt a bit worried, thinking, “So many brothers and sisters have been sold out, how am I to handle the aftermath of this? If I don’t handle it well and the books of God’s word get damaged, or more brothers and sisters get arrested, that would be a serious transgression!” Thinking about these things made me very tense, and I felt that the risks a leader bears were very great indeed. Fortunately, Yang Xin was handling the aftermath work with me. She had been doing her duties longer than I had, and with her taking the lead, the pressure on me was lessened a little. But to my surprise, just a few days later, Yang Xin had a last-minute matter come up and had to leave. I panicked, thinking, “How am I supposed to handle all of this work alone? If I don’t handle it well and cause damage, all the blame will fall on me!” Regret tinged my heart, and I thought, “If I hadn’t taken on this duty, I wouldn’t have to bear such a heavy responsibility.” But now there was no one else to handle the aftermath work, and I couldn’t simply leave the work unattended. So I prayed to God, asking Him to protect and calm my heart, saying, “God, I cannot just ignore this work, I must do my best to carry it forward. I ask You to remove this fear within me and give me faith.”

Afterward, I kept falling into this state. On the one hand, I wanted to do my duty well, but on the other, I was afraid that if I handled things poorly, I would damage the work, which would be a transgression for which I would bear responsibility. I was very distressed, so I searched for God’s words to read, and one passage really moved me. Almighty God says: “It is no accident that antichrists are able to do their duty—they absolutely do their duty with their own intentions and purposes and the desire to gain blessings. Whatever duty they do, their purpose and attitude are of course inseparable from gaining blessings, the good destination and the good prospects and destiny which they think about and are concerned with day and night. They are like businesspeople who don’t talk about anything besides their work. Whatever antichrists do is all linked to fame, gain, and status—it is all linked to gaining blessings and prospects and destiny. Deep down, their hearts are full of such things; this is the nature essence of antichrists. It is precisely because of this kind of nature essence that others are able to clearly see that their ultimate end is to be eliminated” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Seven)). From God’s words, I realized that antichrists always consider their own interests when doing their duties in God’s house. They place great importance on their outcome and destination. Whenever something threatens this, they always choose to protect their own interests and leave a way out for themselves, and they have no loyalty to their duty. I was behaving just like an antichrist. I was constantly thinking about how to avoid taking responsibility and how to secure a good outcome and destination for myself, rather than thinking about the work of the church. When the church was subject to arrests by the CCP, I was afraid that I’d be held accountable if the aftermath work was handled poorly, and that if I brought about significant damage, I wouldn’t have a good outcome. As a result, I shrank back. When I saw that Yang Xin had left and that I was the only one left to deal with this work, I became even more worried, because I felt that if I didn’t handle things well, all the blame would fall on me, and so I regretted taking on this leadership duty. I was well aware that as a church leader, it was urgent to handle the aftermath work at this critical moment, but I was still constantly prioritizing my own interests, and weighing up the pros and cons. As soon as I saw that my outcome and destination could be at risk, I wanted to leave myself an escape route. I saw just how selfish and despicable I was, and how my disposition was just like that of an antichrist. I knew that if I didn’t repent and change, I would eventually be revealed and eliminated by God. I then prayed to God, “God, I no longer want to focus on my own interests. I am willing to shoulder this burden.”

Afterward, I read another passage of God’s words: “Some people do not believe that God’s house can treat people fairly. They do not believe that God reigns in His house, and that the truth reigns there. They believe that no matter what duty a person performs, if a problem arises in it, God’s house will handle that person immediately, stripping them of their right to perform that duty, sending them away, or even clearing them out of the church. Is that really how things work? It certainly is not. God’s house treats every person according to the truth principles. God is righteous in His treatment of every person. He does not look only at how a person behaves in a single instance; He looks at a person’s nature essence, at their intentions, at their attitude, and He looks in particular at whether a person can reflect on themselves when they make a mistake, whether they are remorseful, and whether they can penetrate the essence of the problem based on His words, come to understand the truth, hate themselves, and truly repent. If someone lacks this correct attitude, and they are entirely adulterated by personal intentions, if they are filled with cunning schemes and revelations of corrupt dispositions, and when problems arise, they resort to pretense, sophistry, and self-justification, and stubbornly refuse to acknowledge their actions, then such a person cannot be saved. They don’t accept the truth at all and have been completely revealed. People who aren’t right, and who can’t accept the truth in the slightest, are disbelievers in essence and can only be eliminated. … Tell Me, if a person has made a mistake, but they are capable of true understanding and willing to repent, would God’s house not give them a chance? As God’s six-thousand-year management plan draws to a close, there are so many duties that need to be performed. But if you have no conscience or reason, and don’t attend to your proper work, if you have gained the opportunity to perform a duty but do not know to treasure it, do not pursue the truth in the least, letting the best time pass you by, then you will be revealed. If you are consistently perfunctory in performing your duty, and you do not submit at all when faced with being pruned, will God’s house still use you to perform a duty? In God’s house, it is the truth that reigns, not Satan. God has the final say over everything. It is He who is doing the work of saving man, it is He who holds sovereignty over everything. There is no need for you to analyze what is right and wrong, you just need to listen and submit. When faced with being pruned, you must accept the truth and be able to correct your mistakes. If you do, God’s house will not strip you of your right to perform a duty. If you are always afraid of being eliminated, always giving excuses, always justifying yourself, that is a problem. If you let others see that you do not accept the truth in the least, and that you are impervious to reason, you are in trouble. The church will be obliged to handle you. If you do not accept the truth at all in performing your duty and are always afraid of being revealed and eliminated, then this fear of yours is tainted with human intent and a corrupt satanic disposition, and with suspicion, guardedness, and misapprehension. None of these are attitudes that a person should have” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). After reading God’s words, I understood that God is righteous to everyone, and that the house of God also treats everyone according to truth principles. No one is condemned or eliminated for making one mistake. I recalled that when I was doing the cleansing work before, I acted based on my arrogant disposition and misjudged someone without following principles. Later, I realized my mistake and regretted it deeply, but the church didn’t dismiss or eliminate me just because I made that one mistake. I saw that making mistakes is not frightening in and of itself, and that what’s important is whether a person can accept the truth and genuinely repent after making a mistake. Some people are revealed to be antichrists not because they’ve made a single mistake, but because they don’t follow the requirements or principles of God’s house when doing their duties, and act recklessly. Even after receiving fellowship and help, they not only fail to change but also refuse to listen to reason, insisting on their own way, severely disturbing the church’s work. Only after their absolute refusal to repent are they expelled. Some brothers and sisters also transgress, but they are able to seek the truth and find the root cause of their resistance to God, genuinely repent and change, and do their duties according to the truth principles. The house of God still promotes and uses such people. I saw that God gives everyone plenty of chances to repent, and that God’s essence is righteous and faithful. I knew that I could no longer be guarded against God or avoid my duties.

Later on, my mindset in my duties improved, and the church chose another sister to cooperate with me. Not long after, I heard that another twenty or so brothers and sisters had been arrested, and that the police had come to warn them, forcing them to sign the “Three Statements.” When I heard this news, I became afraid again, worrying that if the aftermath work wasn’t handled well, I would be held accountable. As I had these thoughts, I realized that I wasn’t in the correct state, so I prayed to God in my heart. I recalled God’s words: “What people can achieve, they should do their utmost to accomplish; the rest is up to God to do, to exercise His sovereignty over and orchestrate, and to guide. This is what we worry about the least. We have God behind us. Not only do we have God in our hearts, but we also have genuine faith. This is not a spiritual support; in fact, God is in the dark, and He is at people’s side, always present with them. Whenever people do anything or do any duty, He is watching; He is there to help you at any time and place, keeping and protecting you. What people should do is to do their utmost to accomplish what they should. As long as you become aware, feel in your heart, see in God’s words, are reminded by people around you, or are given any signal or omen by God that provides you with information—that this is something you should do, that this is God’s commission to you—then you should fulfill your responsibility and not sit by idly or watch from the sidelines. You are not a robot; you have a mind and thoughts. When something happens, you absolutely know what you should do, and you definitely have feelings and awareness. So apply these feelings and awareness to actual situations, live them out and transform them into your actions, and this way, you will have fulfilled your responsibility. For the things you can be aware of, you should practice according to the truth principles you understand. This way, you are doing your utmost and making your best effort to do your duty” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (21)). God’s words gave me faith and strength. The first things I had to do were to shoulder my responsibilities, do my utmost to safeguard the interests of God’s house, protect the safety of my brothers and sisters, and minimize losses as much as possible. This was my responsibility. I couldn’t be so selfish and despicable and just focus on my own future and destination anymore. Thinking back to how I always tried to protect myself and avoid responsibility, I realized that this time I had to practice the truth and have the courage to take responsibility. Even if I made some deviations in the process, I had to bear the responsibilities that were mine to bear. For some complicated matters where I was unsure of the appropriate action, I could seek from the upper leadership, and if there were mistakes or gaps in my work, I had to summarize them and make timely corrections. Later on, I worked with my partnered sister to handle the aftermath work, and we fellowshipped God’s intentions with the brothers and sisters, and discussed how to fulfill our duties during this difficult time. The brothers and sisters actively cooperated, and the aftermath work was completed quickly.

Now, I no longer think about my own interests, outcome, and destination as I used to. Instead, I do my duties with all my heart, and my heart feels much more at peace. Without going through this revelation, I wouldn’t have recognized my satanic disposition or my incorrect views on pursuit. I thank God for guiding me in learning these lessons!