55. Was I Really a “Good Leader”?
In May 2020, I was chosen as a church leader. A month later, two partnered sisters were dismissed. I saw in the evaluations written by the brothers and sisters that these two sisters didn’t solve problems and chided people, making them feel constrained. They said that the two were doing their duties as if they were officials, and I sensed the brothers’ and sisters’ dislike for them. I thought, “Isn’t it overly harsh to expose and prune others, hurting their feelings? That’s not loving at all! I can’t be like them, pruning and reprimanding people at every turn. I have to be tactful when I see that the brothers and sisters have problems. This way, everyone will feel that I am easy to get along with and caring, and that I’m a good leader who is understanding.” In later interactions with the brothers and sisters, I focused on speaking gently, trying not to hurt others’ feelings, and when there were issues, I would properly communicate with them, and would speak in a gentle and soft way. I rarely pruned others or exposed the problems of brothers and sisters. After a while, many brothers and sisters started to praise me, saying that I was a leader without pretense, and that I spoke gently and was easy to get along with. All this praise from the brothers and sisters made me feel very pleased, and after that, I always interacted with others in this way.
After interacting with Brother Li Liang for a while, I found that he was always pursuing reputation and status in his duties. He was supervising the video work and should have been studying video making technology more, but he thought that learning techniques was behind-the-scenes work and so he didn’t put any effort into this since he wouldn’t be able to use it to show off. Instead, he often helped brothers and sisters repair electronics, which delayed his work. I knew that as a leader, I needed to point out Li Liang’s problems so that he could know his issues and make timely corrections. But then I thought, “Li Liang has a good impression of me, and he is quite enthusiastic when I go to their team gatherings. If I expose his problems right after I’ve just become a leader, he’ll think I’m difficult to get along with and that I lack love, and this would damage the good impression he has of me. I can’t be too direct when pointing out problems, I’ll need to be more tactful.” So when I saw Li Liang, I simply said, “As supervisors, we need to prioritize the study of video making technology, otherwise, the progress of our work will be affected.” Li Liang nodded and expressed his willingness to change. However, I later found that he still wasn’t putting effort into studying video making technology. I wanted to expose him, but then I thought, “He’s young, and it’s already commendable that he’s been able to put aside his work to do his duties in the church. What if he becomes negative after I prune and expose him? Wouldn’t the brothers and sisters say I’m just like the previous leaders who were dismissed, only chiding people and lacking love? Wouldn’t that ruin the brothers’ and sisters’ good impression of me?” With this in mind, I found him an experiential testimony video that matched his state in the hopes that he would come to his senses himself. But Li Liang just admitted that he pursued reputation and status but didn’t realize the severity of the problem. In response, I just gently advised him not to pursue reputation and status, and after that, he continued to do his duties as usual, resulting in no progress in the video work. Soon after, the upper leaders came to look into the work, and based on Li Liang’s consistent behavior in his duties, he was dismissed. The leaders then asked me, “Why didn’t you fellowship and resolve the problems you found with Li Liang? Why didn’t you reassign him since he wasn’t suited for the role?” My face felt hot, and I realized that I couldn’t shift the blame for Li Liang’s dismissal. If I had exposed the nature and consequences of his pursuit of reputation and status in his duty in a timely manner and had helped him know himself, it’s possible that this wouldn’t have come about. This made me feel very regretful. I silently prayed to God, “God, I was well aware that Li Liang was pursuing reputation and status, lacked principles in his duties, and that I should have exposed and pruned him, but I was worried this would cause him to have a bad impression of me, so I didn’t point out his issues or expose him, and this led to losses in the work. God, please enlighten and guide me to know my corrupt disposition.”
In my seeking, I recalled an experiential testimony video I had seen, titled What Lies Behind a “Good Image” and I opened the video and read this passage of God’s words: “When some church leaders see brothers or sisters doing their duties perfunctorily, they do not rebuke them, though they should. When they clearly see that the interests of God’s house are suffering, they do not concern themselves with this or make any inquiries, and they do not cause the least offense to others. In fact, they are not really showing consideration for people’s weaknesses; instead, their intention and goal is to win over people’s hearts. They are fully aware that: ‘As long as I do this and don’t cause offense to anyone, they’ll think I’m a good leader. They’ll have a good, high opinion of me. They’ll approve of me and like me.’ They don’t care how much damage is done to the interests of God’s house, or how great losses are caused to the life entry of God’s chosen people, or how greatly their church life is disturbed, they just persist in their satanic philosophy and cause no offense to anyone. There is never any self-reproach in their hearts. When they see someone causing disruptions and disturbances, at the very most they might have a few words with them about it, downplaying the issue, and then be done with it. They will not fellowship on the truth, or point out the essence of the problem to that person, less still will they dissect their state, and they will never fellowship what God’s intentions are. False leaders never expose or dissect the errors people frequently make, or the corrupt dispositions people often reveal. They don’t solve any real problems, but instead always indulge people’s erroneous practices and revelations of corruption, and no matter how negative or weak people are, they do not take this seriously. They merely preach some words and doctrines and speak a few words of exhortation to deal with the situation in a perfunctory manner, trying to maintain harmony. As a result, God’s chosen people do not know how to reflect on and know themselves, there is no resolution for whatever corrupt dispositions they reveal, and they live amid words and doctrines, notions and imaginings, without any life entry. They even believe in their hearts, ‘Our leader has even more understanding for our weaknesses than God does. Our stature is too small to live up to God’s requirements. We just need to fulfill the requirements of our leader; by submitting to our leader, we are submitting to God. If a day comes when the Above dismisses our leader, we will make ourselves heard; to keep our leader and stop them from being dismissed, we will negotiate with the Above and force them into agreeing to our demands. This is how we will do right by our leader.’ When people have such thoughts in their hearts, when they have established such a relationship with their leader, and this kind of dependence, envy, and worship has arisen in their hearts toward their leader, they come to have ever greater faith in this leader, and always want to listen to the leader’s words, rather than seeking the truth in God’s words. Such a leader has almost taken the place of God in people’s hearts. If a leader is willing to maintain such a relationship with God’s chosen people, if they derive a feeling of enjoyment from this in their heart, and believe that God’s chosen people ought to treat them like this, then there is no difference between this leader and Paul, they have already set foot on the path of an antichrist, and God’s chosen people have already been misled by this antichrist, and are completely lacking in discernment” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item One: They Try to Win Over People’s Hearts). After reading these words of God, I reflected on myself. I was well aware that brothers and sisters, driven by their corrupt dispositions, were hindering the work of the church in their duties, yet I neither exposed nor pruned them and just said some nice words to encourage them instead. I did this so people would see me as a caring and understanding leader. This was a manifestation of trying to win people’s hearts, as exposed by God. I reflected on my interactions with Li Liang. I had long since noticed that he was pursuing reputation and status, that he was deviating from his duties as a supervisor, and that this was slowing down the overall work progress. I also knew that he needed timely guidance and correction, but I was worried that if I exposed his issues, he would say that I was not loving and too harsh in my demands, so I just spoke gently. I’d just remind and encourage him not to pursue reputation and status, but to focus on his main duty. Li Liang didn’t end up recognizing his problems, but even then, I still didn’t expose or dissect his issues. Instead, I tried a backhanded approach of sending him an experiential testimony video to have him come to his senses on his own. I saw the problems of my brothers and sisters but never exposed them, just so that everyone would see me as caring, easy to get along with, and a good leader who was understanding of others. I did this to win people’s hearts. I was truly walking the path of an antichrist! As a leader, my duty should be to fellowship the truth and resolve the problems of my brothers and sisters, and to safeguard the work of the church. But I watched Li Liang live in a corrupt disposition and delay the work, and I neither fellowshipped, guided, exposed, nor pruned him. I didn’t fulfill my responsibilities at all. In what way did I have any humanity? In order to maintain my image as a “good leader” in others’ eyes, I disregarded the interests of the church. I was truly selfish and despicable! Recognizing this, I felt deeply regretful and guilty. When I saw Li Liang again, I opened up to him and exposed and dissected his problems. He said, “I rarely see you point out problems to us, you’re always so gentle in speaking, and this isn’t beneficial for us or the work of the church. It’s great that you brought this up today. I’ve come to know the nature and consequences of pursuing reputation and status.” Hearing this made me feel truly ashamed. Li Liang didn’t have a bad impression of me for pointing out his issues. On the contrary, he was able to accept this guidance and reflect on himself. I realized that failing to expose and guide people when I saw problems was truly harmful to people!
Not long after, I discovered that the supervisor of the watering work, Xue Mei, lacked a sense of burden in her duties and indulged in fleshly comforts. She pushed the work she was asked to carry out onto the waterers, without following up on or supervising the specific details. She didn’t even know about how the newcomers’ gatherings were going. I thought to myself, “To do watering work, one must at least have a sense of burden and responsibility. Her way of doing her duties will delay the church work and hinder the growth of newcomers’ lives, so I need to provide her fellowship on the nature and consequences of her indulging in comfort to help her change her attitude toward her duties.” But then I thought, “I was the one who fellowshipped and exposed her when she was dismissed as a team leader. Ever since her dismissal, I’ve felt that she’s been very distant from me. If I expose her issues again, will she think I’m always exposing and pruning her and that I’m not loving? If that were to happen, her impression of me would be even worse. Forget it. It’s better not to make things more awkward between us.” When I saw Xue Mei again, I just lightly said to her, “The results of the watering work haven’t been very good lately. We need to quickly change our attitude toward our duties and take on more responsibility!” After hearing this, Xue Mei lowered her head and said, “I haven’t had a sense of burden in my duties; I need to change that right away.” I saw her look of discomfort and I thought that I’d let her take her time in reflecting on this. Later, Xue Mei kept dragging her feet in doing her duties, without any sense of burden. This led to an increasing number of newcomers not gathering regularly, seriously delaying the watering work. The upper leadership looked into my consistent behavior, and found that I only protected my face and status in my duties, and that even when I saw the problems of my brothers and sisters I didn’t expose or prune them. They saw that I wasn’t safeguarding the interests of God’s house at all, that I wasn’t resolving the lack of progress in various items of church’s work in a timely manner, and that I wasn’t doing any actual work. As a result, I was dismissed based on the principles. After being dismissed, I felt very regretful and guilty. That the various items of church’s work suffered losses was all due to my pursuit of reputation and status and my not safeguarding the church’s interests. I thought about Xue Mei’s consistent behavior, and about how she was no longer suited to be a supervisor and needed to be dismissed right away, so I discussed it with the leaders and dismissed her.
Later, I met two brothers at the host home. One brother told me to my face that I was a talented person that could be cultivated, saying that I could endure suffering and pay a price in my duties, and that I was just young, so it was understandable that I didn’t do well given the heavy workload in the church. The other brother also agreed. I remembered that before I was dismissed, many brothers and sisters had praised me to my face, saying that I was an unpretentious leader who spoke gently and who was easy to get along with. Even now that I had caused such great losses to the church’s work, the brothers and sisters still hadn’t gained discernment of me and stood up for me. Had I not misled everyone? Thinking of this, I felt scared, so I prayed to God, asking Him to enlighten and guide me to know my problems. Later on, I read a passage of God’s words: “Some people think that their writing is good, that they’re skilled writers; some think that they’re good leaders, that they’re the pillars supporting the church; others think that they’re good people. As soon as these people lose their good self-image for some reason or another, they invest a lot of thought and pay a price for its sake, racking their brains trying to remedy the situation. Yet they never feel shame, or self-reproach, or indebted to God for the wrong paths they’ve taken, or for the various things they’ve done that went against the truth. They never have that sort of feeling. They use all manner of tactics to mislead people and win over their hearts. Is this doing the duty of a created being? Absolutely not. Is that the work church leaders should be doing? Absolutely not. … These people fly the banner of doing the duty of a leader, but they don’t do what a leader ought to. What they do is not at all the performance of a leader’s duty, it’s playing the role of an antichrist, standing in for Satan to disturb and destroy the work of God’s house, and misleading God’s chosen people into shunning the true way and shunning God. All their actions and behaviors reveal the disposition and nature of Satan, and achieve the result of making people shun God, reject the truth and God, and worship and follow them. One day, when they have completely misled people and brought them under their control, people will begin to worship, follow, and obey them. They’ll then have achieved their goal in ensnaring people’s hearts. They’re church leaders, but they don’t do the work God has entrusted to them; they don’t do the work of leaders and workers. Instead, they act upon God’s chosen people, misleading them, ensnaring them, and controlling them, taking sheep that clearly belong to God into their own hands, under their control. Are they not thieves and bandits? In vying as they do with God for His chosen people, are they not serving as Satan’s lackeys? Are such antichrists not God’s enemies? Are they not the enemies of His chosen people? (They are.) They one hundred percent are. They’re enemies of God and His chosen people; this is beyond a shadow of a doubt” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item One: They Try to Win Over People’s Hearts). God exposes that if a leader or worker fails to fulfill their duties and responsibilities, and does not expose brothers and sisters when seeing them take the wrong path in their duties and cause losses to the church’s work, but instead uses tricks to win over and mislead others to establish a favorable image in people’s hearts, to make people admire and look up to them, then in essence, this is competing with God for His chosen people, and walking the path of an antichrist. Reflecting on my time as a leader, to establish an image in the hearts of the brothers and sisters of me as a “good leader,” and to make everyone admire and look up to me, even when I saw the brothers and sisters living in corrupt dispositions and obstructing the church’s work, I didn’t expose or prune them, and merely fellowshipped gently, lightly reminding and encouraging them. This led the brothers and sisters to admire me, and to praise me as a good and understanding leader. Even when I brought about serious losses to the church’s work and was dismissed, they still had no discernment of me, and even said that it was just because I was young that I didn’t perform well. Some even sympathized with me, and stood up for me. As a leader, I didn’t lead people before God, and instead used my duties as an opportunity to win over people’s hearts, making them look up to me, and hold a place for me in their hearts. How were my actions any different from those of the bandits and robbers God exposed? It may have seemed that Li Liang and Xue Mei were harming the church’s work by not practicing the truth, but in reality, I was the one indulging and covering for them. I would rather sacrifice the interests of the church to protect my reputation and status and I was walking the path of an antichrist. This is something that offends God’s disposition! My dismissal was God’s righteousness, and if I didn’t repent, I would just end up being condemned and eliminated by God. Realizing all this, I felt scared and prayed to God, “God, I have said honeyed words to win people over and protect my pride and status. I am walking the path of an antichrist. God! I don’t want to do evil and oppose You any longer; I wish to repent.”
As I reflected, I realized that I held another fallacious viewpoint. I thought that speaking gently, taking a soft approach, and not exposing or pruning people meant I was loving toward them, while exposing and pruning people was harsh and not understanding. In my seeking and contemplation, I read a couple of passages of God’s words: “God’s chosen people should, at the very least, possess conscience and reason, and interact, associate, and work together with others according to the principles and standards that God requires of people. This is the best approach. This is able to satisfy God. So, what are the truth principles required by God? That people be understanding of others when they are weak and negative, being considerate of their pain and difficulties, and then inquire about these things, offer help and support, and read them God’s words to help them solve their problems, enabling them to understand God’s intentions and stop being weak, and bringing them before God. Isn’t this way of practicing in line with the principles? Practicing in this way is in line with the truth principles. Naturally, relationships of this kind are even more so in line with the truth principles. When people are deliberately causing disturbances and disruptions, or deliberately doing their duty in a perfunctory way, if you see this and are able to point these things out to them, reprimand them, and help them according to the principles, then this is in line with the truth principles” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (14)). “On the proactive side, how is constructive speech expressed? It is mainly encouraging, orienting, guiding, exhorting, understanding, and comforting. Also, in some special instances, it becomes necessary to directly expose other people’s errors and prune them, so that they gain knowledge of the truth and desire to repent. Only then is the due effect achieved. This way of practicing is of great benefit to people. It is a real help to them, and it is constructive for them, is it not?” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (3)). After reading God’s words, I understood that pruning people isn’t being harsh, and is instead beneficial for their life entry and for them to do duties well and can help people to act according to principles. I also came to understand that we should have principles in treating brothers and sisters. If the other person is temporarily negative and weak, we should fellowship and help them with love according to their stature, allowing them not to remain in difficulties and providing them with a path of practice and entry. But, for those with serious corrupt dispositions, who, in spite of numerous rounds of fellowship, continue to disrupt and disturb the church’s work without any change, we must expose and prune them according to God’s words, so they can know their issues and the nature and consequences of their doing their duties based on a corrupt disposition. This is what it means to really help people. I also understood that being harsh toward people mainly refers to not treating them fairly—as soon as a person discovers a slight deviation or mistake without looking into the context or considering the states and difficulties of the brothers and sisters, and without taking into account their stature, they will indiscriminately lose their temper and chide people. However, exposing and pruning people means that when discovering brothers and sisters going against principles, or disturbing the church’s work by acting based on corrupt dispositions, one is able to draw on God’s words to guide, prune, fellowship and help them, so that brothers and sisters can know their problems and can correct their states in a timely manner and do their duties well. This is beneficial for the life entry of the brothers and sisters as well as the church’s work, and this isn’t being harsh toward people. Just like how I treated Li Liang and Xue Mei, I thought that pruning and exposing them would be too harsh and unloving, and that I should just encourage them gently. As a result, they gained no understanding of their corrupt dispositions, and this brought about losses to the church’s work. I realized that such actions didn’t help them but rather harmed them. This wasn’t true love. The viewpoints I’d held were truly absurd and didn’t conform to the truth!
Later, I read more of God’s words: “If you only ever do things for others to see, and always want to gain others’ praise and admiration, and you do not accept God’s scrutiny, then is God still in your heart? Such people have no God-fearing hearts. Do not always do things for your own sake and do not constantly consider your own interests; do not consider the interests of man, and give no thought to your own pride, reputation, and status. You must first consider the interests of God’s house, and make them your priority. You should be considerate of God’s intentions and begin by contemplating whether or not there have been impurities in the performance of your duty, whether you have been loyal, fulfilled your responsibilities, and given it your all, as well as whether or not you have been wholeheartedly thinking about your duty and the work of the church. You must consider these things. If you think about them frequently and figure them out, it will be easier for you to perform your duty well” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). “Some leaders and workers like to help people through exhortation, some through motivation, and others through exposing, accusation, and pruning. Regardless of the method they use, if it can truly lead you to enter the truth reality, resolve your real difficulties, making you understand what God’s intentions are and thereby enabling you to know yourself and find a path of practice, then when you are faced with similar situations in the future, you will have a path to follow. Therefore, the most basic standard for measuring whether a leader or worker is up to standard is whether they can use the truth to resolve people’s problems and difficulties, enabling them to understand the truth and gain a path of practice” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (2)). After reading God’s words, I found a path of practice. I had to prioritize the church’s interests in my duties and not consider my personal status or image. I had to be able to lead the brothers and sisters to seek the truth and reflect on and know their shortcomings when facing issues, so they could do their duties according to principles. When I discover someone disrupting and disturbing the church’s work, I must fellowship the truth with them in a timely manner to solve the problem, and I must prune and expose people when necessary to ensure the work progresses smoothly. Only this is fulfilling my responsibilities as a leader. I thought about how God, in order to save us, doesn’t only speak comforting and encouraging words, but also speaks according to the needs of our corrupt humanity, expressing the truth to judge and expose our rebelliousness so that we can know our corrupt nature and confess and repent to God. Regardless of whether God’s words are reminders and exhortations or severe exposures and judgments, the ultimate goal is to purify and transform us, so we can attain salvation. Moving forward, I had to practice the truth, not consider my image anymore, and prioritize the church’s work and the life entry of my brothers and sisters.
Before long, I was selected as a leader again. One time, I was at a gathering with several team leaders, and I noticed that one team leader was slow in implementing the work. When I asked her the reason, she shifted the blame. I saw this team leader’s dismissive attitude toward her duties, and that even though her work was delayed, she still didn’t know her problem. I knew I had to expose her issues so that she could know her corrupt disposition and change her attitude toward her duties. But then I thought about how I had just been selected as a leader, and I wondered, “What will she think of me if I expose her problems right after I became a leader? In the past, we were both team leaders, and when we did our duties together, she had a pretty good impression of me. Maybe it’d be best if I just mention her issue briefly.” But then I thought about my previous failure as a leader, which had been due to my constant efforts to protect my image and my not exposing and pruning people, and about how this had harmed the church’s work. Why did I still want to protect myself and not practice the truth when faced with issues? I recalled some of God’s words: “Do not always do things for your own sake and do not constantly consider your own interests; do not consider the interests of man, and give no thought to your own pride, reputation, and status. You must first consider the interests of God’s house, and make them your priority. You should be considerate of God’s intentions” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). With this in mind, I drew on God’s words and exposed and dissected the nature and consequences of this team leader’s perfunctory approach to her duties. After my fellowship, the team leader admitted that she had indeed been perfunctory in her duties, and that it wasn’t that she couldn’t do them, but that she just wasn’t putting her heart into it and was just going through the motions. She also said that from then on, she was willing to turn things around and do her duties properly. When I saw that the team leader had been able to gain some knowledge of herself, I realized how wonderful it was to practice according to God’s words! Later, when I found myself wanting to protect my image while doing my duties, I consciously prayed to God to rebel against my flesh, and I drew on God’s words to provide timely guidance and help, guiding the brothers and sisters to reflect on and know themselves. After practicing like this for a while, I saw that the brothers and sisters not only didn’t have a negative view of me because of my pointing out and exposing issues, but instead they were able to reflect on and know themselves, and their attitudes toward their duties had also changed for the better. I also felt that I had made some more progress than before. My being able to attain these realizations and changes was entirely due to the guidance of God’s words. Thank God!