By Jinyi, China

In July 2021, I was chosen as a church leader. I thought, “To be able to take on such an important duty at over sixty years old is truly God’s exaltation.” I resolved to do my best in this duty. Then, I immersed myself in the duty, attending group gatherings and resolving the issues of brothers and sisters, and keeping myself busy every day. After a while, the various items of the church’s work started to show some improvements, and I felt quite happy. In August of the following year, I was chosen as a preacher and made responsible for the work of two churches. I thought, “I’m already busy enough with one church, and now I’m responsible for another church. Won’t that just exhaust me even more? Can my body handle going on like this? Also, the work in the other church isn’t getting very good results, so I’ll have even more to worry about!” After thinking it over, I decided I didn’t want to accept this duty. I thought, “What excuse can I use to turn this down? Perhaps I could say I’m too old, and that I don’t have the energy or strength to be responsible for another church and that the work will be delayed, and then suggest they find someone younger.” But thinking this way made me a bit uneasy. Wasn’t I just shirking my duty? With the words on the tip of my tongue, I decided to keep my mouth shut. So I accepted the duty of a preacher.

After that, every hour of every day was filled with arrangements, and sometimes I even had to rush meals and cut corners. In all this busyness, I couldn’t help but think, “I’m already old, can my body carry on like this? What if I collapse from exhaustion? Both churches have leaders, and they’re quite proactive in following up on work. With their cooperation, I wouldn’t need to follow up on things so closely. I should rest more. At my age, I should take time to care for myself. Isn’t worrying so much all the time just going to make me look older?” With this in mind, I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking, “If I had done this earlier, I wouldn’t have been so busy. Maybe I just don’t know how to schedule things! So long as I arrange things properly, this duty won’t be as burdensome as I imagined.” After that, I followed up less on the gospel and watering work. When I got home after gatherings, I wouldn’t think much about work, believing that the church leaders were following up on it. I would just watch experiential testimony videos and respond to brothers and sisters’ questions, feeling much less pressure, and thinking about how to make some tasty, nutritious food to improve my health. Without even noticing, a month passed. I went to the churches to look into the work, only to find that neither church had gained any new believers that month. I was shocked to hear this news, thinking, “What’s going on? The church leaders have been busy cooperating, so why hasn’t the gospel work gotten any results? My work as a church leader wasn’t this ineffectual before!” I quickly came before God to pray, “God, there haven’t been any results in the gospel work of either church this month, and I don’t know where the problem lies. Please guide me to find the reason for this.” After praying, I realized that I had been living for the sake of my flesh recently, thinking only about eating well, drinking well, and resting, without any sense of burden toward my duty. I wasn’t looking into or solving the problems in the work in a timely manner, and I was directly responsible for the lack of results in the work! So I quickly went to the church leaders to summarize the reasons. I found that although the church leaders had implemented the work, they had just delegated tasks, and had not done any follow-up or supervision, meaning the work hadn’t been fully implemented. This was particularly apparent in the gospel work, where brothers and sisters dwelled in difficulties, and the church leaders saw these as actual difficulties, and didn’t know how to resolve them. After understanding the situation, I realized I had been derelict in my duties, so I opened up to them about my recent state and promptly fellowshipped with the church leaders on how to follow up on the work, not daring to delay any further.

Later, I read this passage of God’s words: “Leaders and workers should actively inspect the work of each team, verify the situations of each team’s members, whether there are any disbelievers there just to make up the numbers or disbelievers spreading negativity and notions to disturb the church’s work, and once discovered, these people should be thoroughly exposed and cleared out. This is the work that leaders and workers should do; they should not be passive, should not wait for orders and urging from the Above to act, nor should they only do a little something when the brothers and sisters all call for it. In their work, leaders and workers should be considerate of God’s intentions and be loyal to Him. The best way for them to behave is to proactively recognize and solve problems. They must not remain passive, especially when they have these current words and fellowship to act as a basis. They should take the initiative to thoroughly resolve actual problems and difficulties by fellowshipping on the truth, and do their work exactly how they ought to. They should promptly and proactively follow up on the progress of the work; they cannot always wait for orders and urging from the Above before they reluctantly take action. If leaders and workers are always negative and passive and do not do real work, they are unworthy of serving as leaders and workers, and should be dismissed and reassigned. There are many leaders and workers now who are very passive in their work. They only ever do a bit of work after the Above sends orders and pushes them; otherwise, they slack off and procrastinate. … After the Above arranges work, they will be busy for a while, but once that bit of work is done, they don’t know what to do next because they don’t understand what duties they should do. They are never clear about the work that falls within the scope of the responsibilities of leaders and workers which they should perform; in their eyes, there is no work that needs to be done. What is going on when people don’t think there’s any work that needs to be done? (They do not bear a burden.) Accurately speaking, they do not bear a burden; they are also very lazy and covet comfort, take as many breaks as possible whenever they can, and try to avoid any extra tasks. These lazy people often think, ‘Why should I worry so much? Worrying too much will just make me age faster. How will I benefit from doing that, and from running around so much, and exhausting myself so much? What will happen if I burn out and get sick? I don’t have the money to pay for treatment. And who will take care of me when I’m old?’ These lazy people are just this passive and backward. They have not an ounce of the truth, and cannot see anything clearly. They are clearly a bunch of muddled people, are they not? They are all muddled-headed; they are oblivious to the truth and have no interest in it, so how can they be saved? Why are people always undisciplined and lazy, as though they are the living dead? This touches on the issue of their nature. There is a kind of laziness in human nature. No matter what task people are doing, they always need someone to supervise and urge them. Sometimes people are considerate of the flesh, covet physical comfort, and always hold something back for themselves—these people are full of devilish intentions and cunning schemes; they are truly no good at all. They always do less than their best, no matter what important duty they are doing. This is irresponsible and disloyal” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (26)). I saw that God requires leaders and workers to actively follow up on work, proactively solve problems and ensure various items of work are implemented. This is the responsibility of leaders and workers. I thought back to when I was first chosen as a church leader. I had a sense of burden and responsibility toward my duty, and I also felt God’s guidance in doing my duty. I was able to identify and solve problems in the work, and I felt fulfilled and lived with a sense of assurance. After becoming responsible for the work of two churches, I was busy every day, and I worried that, given my age, this level of exertion might be too much for my body, so I was reluctant to do this duty. Seeing that the church leaders were implementing work, I took advantage of the situation, and thought that with the leaders working on things, I could follow up on things less, and the upper leaders wouldn’t know. I just focused on eating, drinking, and taking care of my body, and as a result, after a month, there were no results in the gospel work of either church. Hadn’t I delayed the work? Initially, my caliber had been average, and I had no special talents, and I was truly unworthy of such an important duty. God had exalted me with the opportunity to train, but I failed to appreciate it. I hadn’t performed my duty properly, was always considering and indulging in my flesh, and I had been irresponsible in my duty. I was just lazy, and had no loyalty whatsoever. I thought of Noah, who was also very old when he accepted God’s commission, yet he didn’t consider his body or difficulties. He worked diligently every day, preaching the gospel while building the ark, and no matter how tiring or difficult it was, he remained steadfast. He held God’s commission in his heart, and after God instructed him to build the ark, he had a heart and sense of responsibility, and just did things as God told him to. Ultimately, he completed God’s commission and received God’s approval. I also thought of some elderly brothers and sisters in the church, some of whom are over eighty and still preaching the gospel. I was only in my sixties and in good health. The scope of the two churches wasn’t large, and it wouldn’t make me sick or collapse in exhaustion. But I was unwilling to bear even those burdens within my capacity. Compared to them, I was truly ashamed! I prayed to God, saying, “God, my being able to do this duty is Your exaltation and grace, yet I have been negligent and slippery, and I have brought harm upon the church’s work. I have been truly lacking in humanity! This is You revealing and saving me, and I am willing to repent. If I continue to indulge in physical comforts, may Your chastening and discipline fall upon me!”

Afterward, I looked for the relevant words of God regarding my state of physical indulgence. I read two passages of God’s words: “Man’s flesh is like the snake: Its substance is to harm their lives—and when it completely gets its own way, your life becomes forfeit. The flesh belongs to Satan. Within it are extravagant desires, it thinks only for itself, it wants to enjoy comfort and revel in leisure, wallowing in sloth and idleness, and having satisfied it to a certain point you will ultimately be eaten up by it. Which is to say, if you satisfy it this time, next time it will come asking for more. It always has extravagant desires and new demands, and takes advantage of your pandering to the flesh to make you cherish it even more and live among its comforts—and if you do not overcome it, you will ultimately ruin yourself. Whether you can gain life before God and what your ultimate outcome will be, depend on how you carry out your rebellion against the flesh. God has saved you and chosen you and predestined you, yet if today you are unwilling to satisfy Him, you are unwilling to put the truth into practice, you are unwilling to rebel against your own flesh with a genuine God-loving heart, ultimately you will ruin yourself, and will thus endure extreme pain. If you always pander to the flesh, Satan will gradually swallow you up, and leave you without life, or the touch of the Spirit, until the day comes when you are completely dark inside. When you live in darkness, you will have been taken captive by Satan, you will no longer have God in your heart, and at that time you will deny God’s existence and leave Him” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God). “Until people have experienced God’s work and understood the truth, it is Satan’s nature that takes charge and dominates them from within. … Satan’s philosophy and logic have become people’s lives. No matter what people pursue, they do so for themselves—and so they live only for themselves. ‘Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost’—this is the life philosophy of man, and it also represents human nature. These words have already become the nature of corrupt mankind and they are the true portrait of corrupt mankind’s satanic nature. This satanic nature has already become the basis for corrupt mankind’s existence. For several thousand years, corrupt mankind has lived by this venom of Satan, right up to the present day” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Walk the Path of Peter). Through the exposure of God’s words, I came to understand the harm and consequences of indulging the flesh. The more one indulges in and cherishes the flesh, the greater its desires become, ultimately leading to one’s own ruin. I lived according to these satanic philosophies of “Every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “Life is short, so enjoy it while you can,” and “Life is all about eating well and dressing nice.” They distorted my thoughts and views, leading me to think that life shouldn’t be too tiring, that fleshly comfort and physical indulgence are true happiness and the foundation of a good life. Given the chance, I only considered my flesh. This was how I lived before coming to believe in God, feeling that sitting up in bed eating fruit and seeds and watching TV were the epitome of an enjoyable life, so I would avoid work if possible and rest whenever I had time. Sometimes, I’d see elderly people sitting under trees, relaxing and fanning themselves, and I’d feel really envious, wishing I could live like that someday. After believing in God, I felt unhappy whenever my duty kept me busy, always fearing adversity and exhaustion, and not wanting to take on too many concerns. I was negligent toward my duty and had no sense of responsibility. I was truly selfish, despicable, lacking in humanity, and unworthy to live before God! During that period of time, I ate and drank well and took good care of my body, but I delayed the church’s work. This was doing evil! I saw that living by the selfish and despicable satanic disposition and focusing on physical indulgence, leads people to become increasingly lazy, avoid doing real work, and ultimately become false leaders and workers who are revealed and eliminated. When I realized these things, I prayed to God and repented, “God, I have not fulfilled my duty well, I am indebted to You and sorry to the brothers and sisters. I now understand the harm and consequences of indulging the flesh, and I do not wish to indulge in my flesh and delay the church work again.”

Afterward, I read another passage of God’s words: “What is the value of a person’s life? Is it merely for the sake of indulging in fleshly pleasures such as eating, drinking, and being entertained? (No, it is not.) Then what is it? Please share your thoughts. (To fulfill the duty of a created being, this at least is what a person should achieve in their life.) That is correct. Tell Me, if a person’s daily actions and thoughts throughout their entire life are solely focused on avoiding illness and death, on keeping their body healthy and free from diseases, and striving for longevity, is this the value a person’s life should have? (No, it is not.) That is not the value a person’s life should have. So, what is the value a person’s life should have? Just now, someone mentioned fulfilling the duty of a created being, which is one specific aspect. Is there anything else? Tell Me the aspirations you usually have while praying or establishing resolve. (To submit to God’s arrangements and orchestrations for us.) (To play the role well which God has assigned for us, and to fulfill our mission and responsibility.) Anything else? In one respect, it is about fulfilling the duty of a created being. In another, it is about doing everything within your ability and capacity to the best that you can, at least reaching a point where your conscience does not accuse you, where you can be at peace with your own conscience and be proven acceptable in the eyes of others. Taking it a step further, throughout your life, regardless of the family you were born into, your educational background, or your caliber, you must have some understanding of the principles that people ought to comprehend in life. For example, what kind of path people should walk, how they should live, and how to live a meaningful life—you should at least explore a bit of the true value of life. This life cannot be lived in vain, and one cannot come to this earth in vain. In another respect, during your lifetime, you must fulfill your mission; this is the most important. We’re not talking about completing a great mission, duty, or responsibility; but at the very least, you should accomplish something. … When a person comes into this world, it isn’t just for the enjoyment of the flesh, nor is it solely for eating, drinking, and having fun. One shouldn’t live just for those things; that is not the value of human life, nor is it the right path. The value of human life and the right path to follow involve accomplishing something valuable and completing one or multiple jobs of value. This is not called a career; it is called the right path, it is also called the proper task. Tell Me, is it worth it for a person to pay the price in order to complete some work of value, live a meaningful and valuable life, and pursue and attain the truth? If you truly desire to pursue and understand the truth, to embark on the right path in life, to fulfill your duty well, and to live a valuable and meaningful life, then you should not hesitate to give all of your energy, pay the price, and give all of your time and the extent of your days. If you experience a bit of illness during this period it will not matter, it will not crush you. Isn’t this far superior to a lifetime of ease and idleness, nurturing the physical body to the point that it is well-fed and healthy, and ultimately achieving longevity? (Yes.) Which one of these two options is more conducive to a valuable life? Which one can bring comfort and no regrets to people when they face death at the very end? (Living a meaningful life.) Living a meaningful life means to feel results and comfort in your heart. What about those who are well-fed, and maintain a rosy complexion until death? They don’t pursue a meaningful life, so how do they feel when they die? (Like they lived in vain.) These three words are incisive—living in vain” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (6)). From God’s words, I understood that only by fulfilling the duty of a created being can one live a valuable and meaningful life. This is also the most correct choice. I had taken good care of myself, but I hadn’t been doing my duty well. Wasn’t I just wasting my life this way? When the day comes for me to face my death, all I will be left with are regrets and remorse. Just like secular people, who, despite enjoying more physical pleasures and living comfortably, do not understand the value or meaning of life and live without direction or purpose. I had found the right path in life and knew how to live, and I didn’t want to live for the sake of my flesh in this way any longer. I wanted to do my duty well, live a valuable and meaningful life, and not live my life in vain. In fact, by training in the duties of a leader and preacher and fellowshipping with brothers and sisters more often to implement work, I had gained a clearer understanding of truths that I had previously been unable to grasp. Although there was some physical exhaustion and adversity, it didn’t really feel like I was suffering all that much, and being able to give my all in my duty made me feel grounded and fulfilled. Through actual collaboration and reliance on God, many difficulties had been resolved without me even noticing it, and with the performance of my duty also yielding results, joy was brought to my heart. Only by rebelling against my flesh and doing actual work, could my heart be filled with joy and have a true sense of steadiness and peace. Understanding these things, my heart felt brighter and more grounded.

I read another passage of God’s words: “No matter what important work a leader or worker does, and what the nature of this work is, their number one priority is to understand and grasp how work is going on. They must be there in person to follow up on things and ask questions, getting their information first-hand. They must not simply rely on hearsay or listen to other people’s reports. Instead, they must observe with their own eyes the situation of the personnel and how work is progressing, and understand what difficulties there are, whether any areas are at odds with requirements of the Above, whether there are violations of principles, whether there exist any disturbances or disruptions, whether there is a lack of necessary equipment or related instructional materials regarding professional work—they must stay on top of all of this. No matter how many reports they listen to, or how much they glean from hearsay, neither of these beats paying a personal visit; it is more accurate and reliable for them to see things with their own eyes. Once they are familiar with all aspects of the situation, they will have a good idea of what’s going on. They especially must have a clear and accurate grasp of who is of good caliber and worthy of cultivation, as only this allows them to accurately cultivate and use people, which is crucial if leaders and workers are to do their work well. Leaders and workers should have a path and principles by which to cultivate and train people of good caliber. Furthermore, they should have a grasp and understanding of the various kinds of problems and difficulties that exist in church work, and know how to solve them, and they should also have their own ideas and suggestions for how work is to progress, or its future prospects. If they are able to speak with clarity about such things with their eyes closed, without any doubt or misgivings, then the work will be much easier to carry out. And by working in this way, a leader will be fulfilling their responsibilities, will they not? They must be well aware of how to resolve the abovementioned issues in the work, and they must often ponder these things. When they encounter difficulties, they must fellowship and discuss these things with everyone, seeking the truth in order to resolve the issues. By doing real work with both feet planted firmly on the ground in this way, there will be no difficulties that cannot be solved” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (4)). From God’s words, I understood that a truly good leader handles the work of God’s house conscientiously and responsibly, doesn’t indulge in the flesh, prioritizes the interests of God’s house in all things, and does their duties according to work arrangements. Whenever difficulties appear in a task, they seek the truth with brothers and sisters to resolve them. As a leader and worker, to do a good job, they must fully go into the field, look into and follow up on work in detail, and discover and resolve issues promptly, rather than just issuing orders or listening to reports. This kind of approach will not achieve good results. I thought about how I had performed my duty, indulging in my flesh and going through the motions, without looking into details or resolving issues even if I identified them. I hadn’t been fulfilling the responsibilities as a leader, and had merely been a false leader who enjoyed the benefits of status, causing God to loathe and detest me. After this, I began to spend time out in the field, looking into and resolving problems, analyzing the difficulties of potential gospel recipients in detail and fellowshipping about solutions. After a period of collaboration, the results of various items of the church work improved somewhat.

Later, I took on responsibility for several more churches, primarily focusing on the gospel work, and was busy from early morning until late evening almost every day. Sometimes I would think, “I’m pretty old now and my blood pressure is a bit high, can my body really carry on like this?” When I saw that the gospel deacons and group leaders were collaborating, I no longer wanted to follow up on details, so I could save my flesh from getting so exhausted. At this point, I recalled these words of God: “With your duty and what’s yours to do, and bigger than that, with the commission given by God and your obligation, as well as important work that’s outside your duty but needs you to do it, work that’s arranged for you and that you are called by name to do—you should pay the price, however difficult it may be. Even if you need to apply yourself to the fullest, even if persecution should loom, and even if it should put your life at risk, you’re not to begrudge the cost, but to offer up your loyalty and submit unto death. This is how the pursuit of the truth manifests in reality, its real expenditure and its real practice” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. Why Man Must Pursue the Truth). I prayed to God in my heart, “God, I am tempted to indulge in my flesh again, and I know that if I do my duty in this way, it will delay the work. I do not wish to attend to my flesh, and I am willing to strive toward Your requirements and standards and put in all my effort. Please guide me!” So, I joined in, and, together with the brothers and sisters, fellowshipped and discussed the issues in the gospel work in detail. With everyone collaborating with one heart and mind, the results of the gospel work saw a noticeable increase compared to the month before. When I stopped considering my fleshly interests and devoted my heart to my duty, I didn’t feel as tired, and I felt fulfillment and enjoyment in my heart. Thank God for His guidance!