By Shen Ming, China

I was born in a rural family, and my parents made a living by farming. Since I can remember, my parents’ health had always been poor, especially my father, who had problems with both his legs and feet, making it difficult for him to walk when his condition was bad. However, for the sake of the family’s livelihood, my father often worked even while ill. At that time, my parents would often nag my sister and me, saying, “When you grow up, you must be filial! We don’t ask for much, just that you treat us the same way we treated your grandparents. If you can do that when you grow up we’ll be happy.” At that time, I was young and had no concept of filial piety, but as I grew older, ideas like filial piety and raising children to take care of you in old age slowly took shape in my mind. Seeing my parents suffer so much for our family, I hoped that when I grew up, I would be able to earn money to repay them and give them a good life. Later, when I started working and earning money, I bought clothes for my parents and even a treatment device for their illnesses.

In 2009, our whole family accepted God’s work in the last days and soon after, I began to do duties in the church. Once, when my parents went to a gathering, they were arrested by the CCP, and during the interrogation, the police kept grilling my father about my whereabouts. To avoid being arrested and persecuted by the CCP, I had to leave home and go somewhere else to do my duties. In the first few years, I didn’t worry much about my parents because they believed in God and did what they could to do their duties, making me feel at ease. 2017 was a very unusual year for me. At a co-worker meeting, I learned from a sister that my father’s old illness had returned, and he had become paralyzed, bedbound, and unable to speak. Hearing this sudden news was hard for me to take. I thought, “Wasn’t he fine when I left? How did this happen? With my father paralyzed, can my mother handle things all by herself?” I just wished I could go right back to see my paralyzed father to look after him. But with the threat of the CCP’s arrest and persecution, I still couldn’t return. I felt awful, so I came before God and prayed, “Oh God! Knowing that my father is paralyzed, I feel so weak; please give me the faith and strength to face all this. With the threat of being arrested by the CCP, I can’t go back, but I am willing to entrust everything at home into Your hands. Please watch over my heart so that I can stand firm in this situation.” After praying, I felt much more at peace. When I lay in bed at night, my mind was filled with images of my father paralyzed, lying in bed, unable to move. I thought back on the year when I went home for winter break in junior high school. On one snowy day, I was walking home with my bags and a few classmates. We were walking for several hours on a mountain road. We were only a few miles from home, but I was so cold and hungry that I couldn’t walk anymore and fell behind. My classmates from the village got to my house first and told my parents, and when my father came for me, he picked me up and carried me home. I just couldn’t stop my tears when I remembered this. Now my father couldn’t take care of himself and was at death’s door. If my father really did die one day, how would my mother handle his funeral all by herself? Our relatives and neighbors would laugh at us, and they’d be sure to call me unfilial for not going back for my paralyzed father. It’d be a stigma I would bear forever. With these things in mind, I really wanted to risk going back to take care of my father. But I was afraid of being arrested if I went back and that not only would I not be able to care for my father, but that I would also be a burden on my mother. So I gave up the idea. Later, I wrote home to ask about how things were going. A few months later, I received a letter from my mother, saying that my father had already been dead for half a year. Hearing this news was extremely painful and distressing, and I thought, “My father put his blood, sweat, and tears into raising me, but when he was old and paralyzed, I didn’t perform any kind of filial duty. I didn’t even see him one last time. It’s said you raise children to support you in old age, but I didn’t fulfill any of my responsibilities as a son. I am truly an unfilial son!” I thought about how my father had been bedridden and unable to take care of himself for years, and about how my mother had to take care of him every day, alongside her farm work and housework. She’d suffered so much. Now my mother was all alone and I couldn’t let her suffer anymore. But I couldn’t go back to take care of her. My heart was filled with conflict and pain, and I couldn’t even focus on my duties.

Later, I read God’s words: “Is showing filial piety toward one’s parents the truth? (No, it’s not.) Being filial to one’s parents is a correct and positive thing, but why do we say that it is not the truth? (Because people do not show filial piety to their parents with principles and they are not able to discern what kind of people their parents truly are.) How a person should treat their parents relates to the truth. If your parents believe in God and treat you well, should you be filial to them? (Yes.) How are you filial? You treat them differently from brothers and sisters. You do everything they say, and if they are old, you must stay by their side to care for them, which stops you from going out to perform your duty. Is it right to do this? (No.) What should you do at such times? This depends on the circumstances. If you are still able to look after them whilst performing your duty near your home, and your parents do not object to your faith in God, then you should fulfill your responsibility as a son or daughter and help your parents with some work. If they are ill, look after them; if something is troubling them, comfort them; if your financial circumstances allow, buy them the nutritional supplements that suit your budget. However, what should you choose to do if you are busy with your duty, there is no one to look after your parents, and they, too, believe in God? What truth should you practice? Since being filial to one’s parents is not the truth, but only a human responsibility and obligation, what then should you do if your obligation conflicts with your duty? (Prioritize my duty; put duty first.) An obligation is not necessarily one’s duty. Choosing to perform one’s duty is practicing the truth, whereas fulfilling an obligation is not. If you have this condition, you may fulfill this responsibility or obligation, but if the current environment does not allow it, what should you do? You should say, ‘I must do my duty—that is practicing the truth. Being filial to my parents is living by my conscience and it falls short of the practice of the truth.’ So, you should prioritize your duty and uphold it. If you have no duty now, and don’t work far from home, and live close to your parents, then find ways to take care of them. Do your best to help them live a little better and lessen their suffering. But this also depends on what kind of people your parents are. What should you do if your parents are of poor humanity, if they constantly hinder you from believing in God, and if they keep dragging you away from believing in God and performing your duty? What is the truth that you should practice? (Rejection.) At this time, you must reject them. You have fulfilled your obligation. Your parents don’t believe in God, so you have no obligation to show filial respect to them. If they believe in God, then they are family, your parents. If they do not, then you are walking different paths: They believe in Satan and worship the devil king, and they walk the path of Satan; they are people who are walking different paths to those who believe in God. You are no longer a family. They regard believers in God as their adversaries and enemies, so you have no more obligation to take care of them and must cut them off completely. Which is the truth: being filial to one’s parents or performing one’s duty? Of course, performing one’s duty is the truth. Performing one’s duty in God’s house is not simply about fulfilling one’s obligation and doing what one is supposed to do. It is about performing the duty of a created being. Herein is God’s commission; it is your obligation, your responsibility. This is a true responsibility, which is to fulfill your responsibility and obligation before the Creator. This is the Creator’s requirement of people, and it is the great matter of life. But showing filial respect to one’s parents is merely the responsibility and obligation of a son or daughter. It is certainly not commissioned by God, and less still does it accord with God’s requirement. Therefore, between showing filial respect to one’s parents and performing one’s duty, there is no doubt that performing one’s duty, and that alone, is practicing the truth. Performing one’s duty as a created being is the truth, and it is a bounden duty. Showing filial respect to one’s parents is about being filial to people. It does not mean that one is performing their duty, nor does it mean that they are practicing the truth” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Truth Reality?). “No matter what you do, what you think, or what you plan, those things are not important. What is important is whether you can understand and truly believe that all created beings are in the hands of God. Some parents have that blessing and that destiny to be able to enjoy domestic bliss and the happiness of a large and prosperous family. This is God’s sovereignty, and a blessing God gives them. Some parents don’t have this destiny; God has not arranged this for them. They are not blessed to enjoy having a happy family, or to enjoy having their children stay by their side. This is God’s orchestration and people cannot force this. No matter what, ultimately when it comes to filial piety, people must at least have a mindset of submission. If the environment permits and you have the means to do so, then you can show your parents filial piety. If the environment does not permit and you lack the means, then do not try to force it—what is this called? (Submission.) This is called submission. How does this submission come about? What is the basis for submission? It is based on all of these things being arranged by God and ruled over by God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Truth Reality?). After reading God’s words, I understood that filial piety is merely a human responsibility and obligation, and that it is a positive thing, but that it is not the truth. Doing the duty of a created being is the truth and this is what God requires of people. This meets with God’s approval. When filial piety conflicts with your duties, you must practice according to your circumstances. If conditions permit and it does not impact your duties, then you should take care of your parents and fulfill your responsibilities and obligations. If conditions do not permit and you are busy with your duties, then you should prioritize the duty of a created being and obey God’s arrangements. Also, regarding parents, some parents have many children and grandchildren and enjoy the blessings of a happy family, but some parents do not have such a situation arranged for them by God, and they do not enjoy such blessings. These things are all predestined by God. Guided by God’s words, I felt much more relieved. In hindsight, I was caring for my parents as best as I could while doing my duties at home, but with the threat of being persecuted and arrested by the CCP, I couldn’t return home. Plus, I had my duties to do, so I had to choose to do the duty of a created being, as this aligns with the truth. I couldn’t abandon my duties for my own selfish reasons.

Later, I received a letter from my mother, and I learned that she and three sisters had been arrested during a gathering. During the police interrogation, she was deceived by Satan’s schemes and revealed the names of two sisters. After her release, she was very remorseful and lived in a despondent state. Later, she accidentally fell down the stairs and injured her lower back. In my mind I was already home. My mind was filled with images of my mother falling and of her in pain. I felt really upset. Three months later, I received another letter from my mother, saying her lower back had healed, and that through this fall, she was awakened and finally began to seek the truth and reflect on herself. She said she had come out of her incorrect state, and that without this incident, she would have continued to live her life misunderstanding God. I felt so ashamed when I read her letter. I saw that God’s arrangements always contain His heartfelt intentions, that His work is so practical, and that He guides each of us according to our needs and deficiencies. In late October 2022, I learned that my mother had suddenly been arrested by the police while hosting brothers and sisters for a gathering. The police found the gospel deacon’s phone and memory card containing God’s words and my mother took the initiative to stand up and say it was hers, protecting the gospel deacon. I felt so happy for my mother. In mid-July of 2023, I received a letter from my elder sister, saying that my mother had a gallbladder cyst. It was thought that she would need surgery, but her condition stabilized, so she didn’t have it. This news made me feel very uneasy, and I thought, “If my mother really needs surgery, there’s no one at home to take care of her. My elder sister is married and lives far away, and she has her own duties, so she can’t go back to stay with her. She’s so old now. What if something happens to her? Who would handle her funeral? My sister and I aren’t with her, and there’s no one to take care of her. I wasn’t there when my father died, and if I’m not there when my mother passes away, then I will truly be an unfilial son.” These thoughts made me hit a roadblock that I just couldn’t pass, and my state was affected.

During a devotional, I read a passage of God’s words: “Let’s talk about how ‘Your parents are not your creditors’ should be interpreted. Your parents are not your creditors—isn’t this a fact? (It is.) Since it is a fact, it’s proper for us to explain the matters contained within it. Let’s look at the matter of your parents giving birth to you. Who was it that chose for them to give birth to you: you or your parents? Who chose whom? If you look at this from God’s perspective, the answer is: neither of you. Neither you nor your parents chose for them to give birth to you. If you look at the root of this matter, this was ordained by God. We’ll put this topic to one side for now, as this matter is easy for people to understand. From your perspective, you were passively born to your parents, without having any choice in the matter. From the perspective of your parents, they gave birth to you through their own independent will, right? In other words, putting aside God’s ordination, when it comes to the matter of giving birth to you, it was your parents who had all the power. They chose to give birth to you, and they called all the shots. You did not choose for them to give birth to you, you were passively born to them, and you didn’t have any choice in the matter. So, since your parents had all the power, and they chose to give birth to you, they have an obligation and a responsibility to bring you up, to raise you into an adult, to supply you with an education, with food, clothes, and money—this is their responsibility and obligation, and it is what they ought to do. Whereas you were always passive during the period that they were raising you, you didn’t have the right to choose—you had to be raised by them. Because you were young, you didn’t have the capacity to raise yourself, you had no choice but to be passively brought up by your parents. You were raised in the way that your parents chose, if they gave you nice food and drinks, then you ate and drank nice food and drinks. If your parents provided you with a living environment where you survived off chaff and wild plants, then you survived off chaff and wild plants. In any case, when you were being raised, you were passive, and your parents were fulfilling their responsibility. … In any case, by raising you your parents are fulfilling a responsibility and an obligation. Raising you into an adult is their obligation and responsibility, and this cannot be called kindness. If it cannot be called kindness, then is it not something that you ought to enjoy? (It is.) This is a kind of right that you should enjoy. You should be raised by your parents, because before you reach adulthood, the role that you play is that of a child being brought up. Therefore, your parents are just fulfilling a kind of responsibility toward you, and you are just receiving it, but you are certainly not receiving grace or kindness from them. For any living creature, bearing and looking after children, reproducing, and raising the next generation is a kind of responsibility. For example, birds, cows, sheep, and even tigers have to take care of their offspring after they reproduce. There are no living creatures that do not raise their offspring. It’s possible that there are some exceptions, but there are not many of them. It’s a natural phenomenon in the existence of living creatures, it’s an instinct for living creatures, and it cannot be attributed to kindness. They are just abiding by a law that the Creator set out for animals and for mankind. Therefore, your parents raising you isn’t a kind of kindness. Based on this, it can be said that your parents are not your creditors. They are fulfilling their responsibility to you. No matter how much effort and money they spend on you, they should not ask you to recompense them, because this is their responsibility as parents. Since it is a responsibility and an obligation, it should be free, and they should not ask for compensation. By raising you, your parents were just fulfilling their responsibility and obligation, and this should be unpaid, and it should not be a transaction. So, you do not need to approach your parents or handle your relationship with them according to the idea of recompensing them. If you do treat your parents, pay them back, and handle your relationship with them according to this idea, that is inhumane. At the same time, it is likely to make you restrained and bound by your fleshly feelings, and it will be hard for you to emerge from these entanglements, to the extent that you might even lose your way. Your parents are not your creditors, so you have no obligation to realize all of their expectations. You have no obligation to foot the bill for their expectations” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (17)). God’s words fellowship how to handle the relationship between parents and children so clearly. As parents, giving birth to and raising children is simply abiding by the laws set down for humanity by the Creator. Just like how any organism reproduces, it is an instinct. Parents raising their children is them fulfilling their responsibilities and obligations; it is not a kindness, and does not need to be repaid by their children. I used to think that since it had been so difficult for my parents to give birth to me and raise me, and because they went through so much pain, as their child, I should repay them properly so that I could make up for their kindness in raising me. When I learned that my father was paralyzed and I couldn’t be by his side to care for him, and couldn’t care for him in his old age or give him a proper send off, I felt indebted to my father. I felt like I was carrying a great weight when I thought of this, making it hard to breathe. After my father’s death, I worried about my mother, feeling that as I hadn’t been filial to my father, I couldn’t become indebted to my mother as well, and that I had to ensure she enjoyed her last years. Knowing that my mother was injured and that I couldn’t go back to care for her, I felt so unfilial and indebted to my mother. Now, through reading God’s words, I understood that my parents raising me was them fulfilling their responsibilities and obligations, and that this was not a kindness that I needed to repay. They weren’t my creditors. Viewing my parents’ raising me as a kindness to repay was completely wrong and not in line with the truth. This view had caused me much pain. If God had not exposed the truth on this, I would have been completely unaware of it, and I would have remained bound and controlled by this wrong view. My life came from God, and God provides everything I need. I should be grateful to God. I remember in 2007, when I had only just believed in the Lord for a few months, I was in a car that had a brake failure and rolled down a hillside. That accident resulted in deaths and injuries, but I kept calling out to God in my heart, and I made it out with only a pulled muscle, a really light injury. What was more miraculous was that I wasn’t afraid or panicked at all during the accident, which showed me God’s miraculous deed. If not for God’s protection, I might have died in that accident. Over the years, I have profoundly experienced that God alone is my sole salvation. Without my belief in God, I would be like secular people, relentlessly pursuing wealth and fame, ignorant of in whose hands our destinies rest, much less knowing how to live a meaningful life, or realizing the suffering caused by Satan. Today, spreading the gospel of the kingdom requires people’s cooperation. I had not been thinking about repaying God’s love, and I didn’t feel indebted to God for not doing my duties well. I was only focused on repaying my parents. This was truly unconscionable, disgraceful, and ungrateful of me!

I read more of God’s words: “Due to the conditioning of Chinese traditional culture, in Chinese people’s traditional notions they believe that one must observe filial piety toward their parents. Whoever does not observe filial piety is an unfilial child. These ideas have been instilled in people since childhood, and they are taught in practically every household, as well as in every school and in society at large. When a person’s head has been filled with such stuff, they think, ‘Filial piety is more important than anything. If I weren’t to observe it, I wouldn’t be a good person—I’d be an unfilial child and I’d be denounced by society. I’d be a person who lacks conscience.’ Is this view correct? People have seen so many truths expressed by God—has God demanded that one show filial piety toward their parents? Is this one of the truths that believers in God must understand? No, it is not. God has only fellowshipped on some principles. By what principle do God’s words ask that people treat others? Love what God loves, and hate what God hates: This is the principle that should be adhered to. God loves those who pursue the truth and are able to follow His will; these are also the people that we should love. Those who are not able to follow God’s will, who hate and rebel against God—these people are detested by God, and we should detest them, too. This is what God asks of man. … Satan uses this kind of traditional culture and notions of morality to bind your thoughts, your mind, and your heart, leaving you unable to accept God’s words; you have been possessed by these things of Satan, and rendered incapable of accepting God’s words. When you want to practice God’s words, these things cause disturbance within you, cause you to oppose the truth and God’s requirements, and make you powerless to rid yourself of the yoke of traditional culture. After struggling for a while, you compromise: You prefer to believe traditional notions of morality are correct and in line with the truth, and so you reject or forsake God’s words. You do not accept God’s words as the truth and you think nothing of being saved, feeling that you still live in this world, and can only survive by relying on these people. Unable to endure society’s recrimination, you would rather choose to give up the truth and God’s words, abandoning yourself to traditional notions of morality and the influence of Satan, preferring to offend God and not practice the truth. Tell Me, is man not pitiful? Do they not have need of God’s salvation? Some people have believed in God for many years, but still have no insight into the matter of filial piety. They really do not understand the truth. They can never break through this barrier of worldly relationships; they do not have the courage, nor the confidence, let alone the determination, so they cannot love and obey God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Recognizing One’s Own Misguided Views Can One Truly Transform). God’s words expose the essence of traditional culture. I reflected on how I had been influenced by Satan’s indoctrination from a young age, imbibing traditional ideas like “Filial piety is a virtue to be held above all else,” and “Raise children to support you in old age.” I treated filial piety as a measure of whether a person had a conscience, so I believed that because my parents raised me, as their child, I should repay their kindness, and when they grow old, I should honor them and provide for them in their old age and send them off properly. I believed that fulfilling these responsibilities meant a person had humanity and a conscience, and that if one failed to do these things, they were unfilial and unworthy of being called human, and they would be reviled and rejected by society. These ideas had become deeply rooted in my heart. After I came to believe in God, due to the threat of the CCP’s persecution and arrest, I couldn’t return home, and I didn’t even get to see my father one last time. I felt so guilty, like an unfilial child, indebted to my parents for their kindness in raising me, and that I was despised by others and branded as an unfilial son. Later, learning about my mother’s illness made me worry, and I feared that if my mother really did pass away, I’d never be able to shake the label of “unfilial child.” These thoughts were like invisible shackles, binding me tightly and keeping me from being free. I was well aware that doing the duty of a created being in believing in God was the right path in life, but I couldn’t do my duty peacefully. I realized that I was being deeply harmed by these fallacious traditional ideas. I thought about the Age of Grace, when many people left behind their parents and relatives to spread the Lord’s gospel throughout the world, with some even sacrificing their lives. Their choices fully aligned with the Lord’s intention and were good deeds and just acts. I have welcomed the Lord’s return and accepted Almighty God’s work in the last days, which is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and doing my duty as a created being at this time is something that meets with God’s approval, whereas filial piety is merely a human obligation. If conditions allow, it can be done, but if not, duty must take precedence.

I then read more of God’s words: “If you hadn’t left your home to perform your duty elsewhere, and you had stayed by your parent’s side, could you have prevented them from getting sick? (No.) Can you control whether your parents live or die? Can you control whether they are rich or poor? (No.) Whatever illness your parents get, it won’t be because they were so exhausted from raising you, or because they missed you; they especially won’t contract any of those major, serious, and possibly fatal illnesses because of you. That is their fate, and it has nothing to do with you. No matter how filial you are, the most you can achieve is to reduce their fleshly suffering and burdens a little, but as for when they get sick, what illness they contract, when they die, and where they die—do these things have anything to do with you? No, they don’t. If you’re filial, if you’re not an uncaring ingrate, and you spend all day with them, watching over them, will they not get sick? Will they not die? If they’re going to get sick, won’t they get sick anyway? If they’re going to die, won’t they die anyway? Isn’t that right?” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (17)). “Entrusting your parents to God’s hands is the best way to show filial respect to them. You don’t hope they face all kinds of difficulties in their lives, and you don’t hope they live a bad life, eat poorly, or suffer poor health. Deep down in your heart, you certainly hope that God will protect them and keep them safe. If they are believers in God, you hope that they can perform their own duties and you also hope they can stand firm in their testimony. This is fulfilling one’s human responsibilities; people can only achieve this much with their own humanity. Moreover, what’s most important is that after years of believing in God and listening to so many truths, at the very least people have this little bit of understanding and comprehension: Man’s fate is determined by Heaven, man lives in the hands of God, and having God’s care and protection is far more important than the concerns, filial piety, or companionship of one’s children. Don’t you feel relieved that your parents are under God’s care and protection? You don’t need to worry about them. If you do worry, that means you do not trust God; your faith in Him is too small. If you are genuinely worried and concerned about your parents, then you should pray to God often, entrust them to God’s hands, and let God orchestrate and arrange everything. God rules over the fate of humankind and He rules over their every day and everything that happens to them, so what are you still worried about? You can’t even control your own life, you yourself have a ton of difficulties; what could you do to let your parents live happily every day? All you can do is entrust everything to God’s hands. If they are believers, ask God to lead them onto the right path so they can ultimately be saved. If they are not believers, let them walk whatever path they want. For parents that are kinder and have some humanity, you can pray to God to bless them so they can spend their remaining years in happiness. As for how God works, He has His arrangements, and people should submit to them. So, overall, people have an awareness in their conscience of the responsibilities they fulfill toward their parents. Regardless of the attitude toward one’s parents this awareness brings, whether it’s concern or choosing to be present by their side, in any case, people should not feel guilty or have a burdened conscience because they could not fulfill their responsibilities toward their parents due to being affected by objective circumstances. These issues, and others like them, should not become troubles in people’s life of belief in God; they should be let go. When it comes to these topics related to fulfilling responsibilities toward one’s parents, people should have these accurate understandings and should no longer feel constrained. For one thing, from the bottom of your heart you know that you are not unfilial, and you are not shirking or avoiding your responsibilities. For another thing, your parents are in God’s hands, so what is there still to worry about? Any worries one might have are superfluous. Each person will smoothly live according to God’s sovereignty and arrangements until the end, reaching the end of their path, without any deviation” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (16)). From God’s words, I understood that when and what kind of illness or misfortune befalls parents in their lifetime, are all governed by God’s sovereignty, and that these things have nothing to do with whether children are by their side to care for them. Even if children stay by their parents’ side every day, it can’t really change anything, at most it will only slightly lessen their daily burden, but if it’s their fate, they will still get sick, and when their time comes, they must go. This is the fate ordained by the Creator. What illness my mother will get or whether she will die is all within God’s decree. Even if I were to return and stay by her side every day, it wouldn’t change anything. Her life and death have long since been predestined by God. What age she will reach, the sufferings she will endure, and the circumstances she will face, all of these things are under God’s sovereignty and predestination, and my worrying won’t help. My mother also believes in God, and God will arrange suitable circumstances for her to experience according to her situation. Just like when my mother was injured, I didn’t understand God’s heartfelt intentions and was constantly worrying for her, but in the end, she was fine. I realized that my faith was truly lacking, and that I was just judging things with human notions, and lacking in true understanding of God’s almightiness and sovereignty. Now, after eleven years away from home, my mother is alone at home and doing her duty as best as she can, and she is living well. I see now that my worries and concerns were truly unnecessary. I also understand that my parents are not my creditors, and that they raised me as part of their responsibilities and obligations, and I cannot take this as a kindness to be repaid. I have a mission in this life to fulfill, which is to do my duty well as a created being. When I think this way, my sense of guilt is gone, and I feel much more liberated in my spirit, and able to devote myself to my duty. Thank God for His guidance!