5. The Struggle of Reporting Issues
In 2022, I did text-based duty. By chance, I met Kelli, a district leader. Hearing her experiences, I learned that she had been a leader for five years. She had some gifts, was quite quick-witted, and was organized in her work arrangements. I admired her a lot. However, I also learned that in order to show her co-workers her competence at work, when they encountered difficulties in their duties, she not only didn’t help but also flaunted her work results, causing them to look up to her and delimit themselves as inadequate. I saw that Kelli was showing off quite badly, but that she had little knowledge of herself, and I thought to myself, “Even though Kelli has some brains and gifts, her life entry is quite poor, and she doesn’t reflect on or know herself when faced with issues.” Later, I also heard that Sister Stacey had discovered that Kelli wasn’t cultivating others and had been careless, taking a hands-off approach to the gospel work. She’d asked Kelli’s co-workers if Kelli was doing actual work, and when Kelli learned of this, she not only failed to reflect on herself but also developed bias against her co-workers and against Stacey. She was unwilling to cooperate and discuss work with her co-workers, resulting in poor results in the gospel work. When I saw Kelli again, I learned that her state wasn’t good, and that she was afraid to resolve the brothers’ and sisters’ problems and so she pushed this responsibility onto her co-workers. I was very surprised, thinking, “Kelli is a district leader, and her primary job is to fellowship about the truth and solve problems. But she can’t even solve the brothers’ and sisters’ problems. Can she do her main job as a leader well?” But then I thought, “Could it be that she has just taken the wrong path during this period of time? If through pointers and help her state can be turned around, she can still do her duties as a leader. After all, she has been a leader for many years and can arrange and implement some work. As for her neglect of life entry, I should offer more help and pointers.” So, I pointed out the issue to her. Kelli said that she was willing to make amends, but later, I learned that she was still spending her days keeping busy, and that she still had no life entry. I thought to myself, “Kelli lacks life entry. She can’t resolve the brothers’ and sisters’ problems and can’t do actual work. Could she be a false leader?” But my understanding of Kelli’s performance was too limited, and I still could not see it clearly, so I didn’t report this issue to the upper level.
By April 2023, I was dismissed due to my pursuit of reputation and status and my inability to do actual work, and I no longer thought about Kelli’s issue. Later, the church issued a letter asking brothers and sisters to report any false leaders or antichrists they discovered. I thought of Kelli, “Kelli loves to show off to make others regard her highly. She doesn’t accept suggestions from sisters and even harbors biases against them. Moreover, she doesn’t learn lessons when things come up and lacks life entry. Should I report her issue to the upper level so that the church can investigate?” But then I thought, “Kelli is responsible for multiple churches’ work. If I report incorrectly and it harms her or affects her state, leading to delays in her duties, I would end up being a source of disruption and disturbance. I could lose my current duty, and in severe cases, be isolated for reflection. Forget it. The less trouble, the better. Besides, my understanding of the situation is limited, and I can’t be completely sure that Kelli is a false leader. It’s best to just keep my head down and do the duties well I have at hand.” Thinking about this, I didn’t report Kelli’s issue.
During that period, the church frequently issued letters asking us to check for false leaders and antichrists. Every time I saw such letters, I felt conflicted. Just as I was hesitating, I heard that a sister had reported a church leader. After further understanding and verifying, it turned out that the reported leader only had some revelations of corruption and wasn’t a false leader who did not do actual work. The person who made the report had an arrogant disposition. She seized on the corruption the leader revealed to condemn her as a false leader, and she often constrained others in conversation and didn’t play a positive role in the group. Eventually, she was isolated for reflection. Hearing this news, I was alarmed and thought, “If I report Kelli’s issue, and if I report it wrongly, will my situation be investigated as well? I had previously put an antichrist in an important position when I was a leader, causing disturbance and disruption to the church’s work. If I report it wrongly this time, affecting Kelli’s state and delaying the church work, my transgressions will accumulate. Then will I end up being isolated for reflection, or even be cleared out? Besides, I have a limited understanding of Kelli and cannot be certain she is a false leader. Forget it, I’d better not stick my neck out and report the issue. Kelli usually also interacts with other brothers and sisters, so if she is a false leader, others will also notice her problems and write a report. At that time, I can provide information about her manifestations, and this way, I won’t be investigated. That would be much better.” When I thought about this, I completely gave up on the idea of reporting the issue.
In June 2023, the church issued a notice of expulsion for an antichrist. This antichrist, who was a supervisor, pursued reputation and status, causing serious disruption and disturbance to the church’s work. The leader told us that if we discover any false leaders or antichrists in the church, we should report it to the upper level promptly to protect the church’s work. I thought of Kelli again. Although she wasn’t an antichrist, she had manifestations of a false leader. It had been nearly six months since I first noticed the problem, and I had been avoiding reporting it to the upper level, not daring to do so. If she truly was a false leader, wouldn’t it harm all the brothers and sisters? It would do a lot of damage to the church’s work! I recalled the words God spoke when exposing the antichrist Yan: “There are certain manifestations when antichrists do things. He wasn’t just doing things out of sight; you could recognize those manifestations in person. If you couldn’t see those manifestations, then weren’t you blind? (Yes.) So if there was someone like this again now, would you be able to discern them? Can someone like Yan perform actual work? Can they fellowship on the truth and resolve problems? (No.) Why do you say no? (In terms of work results, the church had many problems which weren’t resolved for a long time, the progress of all the work was incredibly slow, and the movies we filmed didn’t meet the requirements of God’s house.) Before Yan was taken in hand, did you see that this was a problem? (No.) So, what do you understand after you listen to sermons? You can’t see such serious problems, and then you just always find excuses, saying, ‘We didn’t associate with him. How could we know the things he was doing out of sight? We’re just ordinary believers, he was a leader. We couldn’t always be following him around, so it’s reasonable that we couldn’t see through him and didn’t report him.’ Is this what you meant? (Yes.) What is the nature of this? (We’re trying to evade our responsibilities.)” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Seven: They Are Wicked, Insidious, and Deceitful (Part One)). God’s every word struck at my heart. I had always used the excuse that I didn’t fully understand the situation and couldn’t see through it to never report the issue. In reality, I’d noticed Kelli’s behavior and believed she might be a false leader, but I was afraid that if I made an incorrect report, I would be held responsible. So, I came up with the justification that I hadn’t interacted with her much and couldn’t see things clearly. Every time when there was fellowship urging us to report false leaders and antichrists, my conscience accused me, but I kept suppressing it with the excuse that I couldn’t see through the matter. The truth was, this excuse was completely unfounded, and I was just avoiding responsibility. Having seen a problem with a leader, I should have reported it promptly. Even if I couldn’t see through it, I could still bring it up and seek fellowship from brothers and sisters who understood the truth, so that it wouldn’t drag on for so long. This time, I couldn’t keep avoiding this. But when I thought about reporting Kelli’s situation, I suddenly remembered that the leader had said they wanted to promote and cultivate me. I thought, “If I report this incorrectly, I might lose my chance to be promoted, and I might even lose my chance to do my current duty. But if I don’t report the issue, and Kelli really does have a problem, it could harm the church’s work significantly.” These thoughts made me feel so conflicted. I really wanted to stand up and report the problem to protect the church’s work, but whenever I thought about how this might affect my own interests, my courage would disappear. My conscience kept accusing me. I saw the problem and didn’t report it, and even though I understood God’s words, I didn’t practice them. I wasn’t protecting the church’s interests at all. Even if I were to be promoted, what would be the point? I cried and came before God to pray, “Oh God, this situation that I’m facing today is something You have orchestrated and arranged. It’s also a test for me, to see whether I can consider Your intention. I’m very conflicted right now. Oh God, please guide me to make the right choice.” At that moment, a line from God’s words came to mind: “God’s essence is righteousness. Though it is not easy to comprehend what He does, all that He does is righteous; it is simply that people do not understand” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). Yes, God’s disposition is righteous, and no matter what God does, it is righteous. The main reason I didn’t dare to report the issue was that I didn’t understand God’s righteous disposition, which led me to live in a state of misunderstanding and guardedness. I imagined God to be like corrupt humans, lacking in fairness and righteousness, as if I would be isolated for reflection or even cleared out just for reporting a problem incorrectly or making a mistake. It was truly deceitful of me to suspect God in this way! God is righteous, and everything in God’s house is handled fairly and justly. If I reported a problem with a leader, the church would investigate and handle it according to principles, and if Kelli truly was a false leader, she would be dismissed promptly. But if she weren’t a false leader, the church would point out her issue and help her so that she could reflect on herself and enter, and this would also be a good thing. Thinking of this, I felt somewhat relieved.
Later, I read another passage of God’s words, which gave me a path to practice. Almighty God says: “Sometimes false leaders and antichrists give a performance for a while, and they reveal certain problems. Some people may only be able to see that there are problems, but are unable to see through to the essence and the truth of these problems nor know how to resolve them—this also pertains to having no discernment. What should you do in such circumstances? At times like these, you should get someone who understands the truth to discern them. If there are several people who can take responsibility, with everyone seeking, fellowshipping, and discussing the matter together, then you can all reach a consensus and see through to the essence of the problem, and then you will be able to discern whether they are false leaders and antichrists. It’s not so difficult to solve the problem of false leaders and antichrists; false leaders don’t perform actual work and are easy to discover and see clearly; antichrists disturb and disrupt church work and are also easy to discover and see clearly. All this relates to the problem of disturbing God’s chosen people performing their duties, and you should report and expose such people—only by doing that can you prevent church work from being delayed. Reporting and exposing false leaders and antichrists is crucial work that guarantees that God’s chosen people can perform their duties well, and all of God’s chosen people bear this responsibility. No matter who it is, as long as they are a false leader or an antichrist, then God’s chosen people should expose them and bring them to light, and in this way you will fulfill your responsibility. As long as the reported problem is true and there really is a false leader or antichrist incident, God’s house will always handle it in a timely manner and in accordance with principles” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Seven: They Are Wicked, Insidious, and Deceitful (Part One)). Yes, when encountering false leaders or antichrists in the church, if I cannot see through the essence of the problem, I can fellowship and discern with those who understand the truth. This way, I can gain a more accurate understanding. Since I couldn’t see clearly whether Kelli was a false leader, I could seek fellowship with others. Through seeking and fellowshipping, I could gain a clearer understanding of the principles of this aspect. I then talked to my partnered sister, Shirley, about this matter. Shirley also felt that Kelli was walking the wrong path and suggested that I report it to the upper level. She also asked me what I was concerned about that had prevented me from reporting the issue. Through Shirley’s question, I realized that my hesitation to report the problem all along was mainly due to protecting myself and maintaining my own interests. I was so selfish and despicable!
I recalled a passage of God’s words and looked it up to read. God says: “Most people wish to pursue and practice the truth, but much of the time they merely have a resolution and the desire to do so; the truth has not become their life. As a result, when they come across evil forces or encounter evil people and bad people committing evil deeds, or false leaders and antichrists doing things in a way that violates principles—thus disturbing the work of the church and harming God’s chosen ones—they lose the courage to stand up and speak out. What does it mean when you have no courage? Does it mean that you are timid or inarticulate? Or is it that you do not understand thoroughly, and therefore do not have the confidence to speak up? Neither; this is primarily the consequence of being constrained by corrupt dispositions. One of the corrupt dispositions you reveal is a deceitful disposition; when something happens to you, the first thing you think of is your own interests, the first thing you consider is the consequences, whether this will be beneficial to you. This is a deceitful disposition, is it not? Another is a selfish and base disposition. You think, ‘What does a loss to the interests of God’s house have to do with me? I’m not a leader, so why should I care? It’s got nothing to do with me. It’s not my responsibility.’ Such thoughts and words are not something that you consciously think, but are produced by your subconscious—which is the corrupt disposition revealed when people encounter an issue. Corrupt dispositions such as this govern the way you think, they bind your hands and feet, and control what you say. In your heart, you want to stand up and speak, but you have misgivings, and even when you do speak out, you beat around the bush, and leave yourself wiggle room, or else you prevaricate and don’t tell the truth. People who are clear-eyed can see this; in truth, you know in your heart that you have not said all you should, that what you have said has had no effect, that you were merely going through the motions, and that the problem has not been solved. You have not fulfilled your responsibility, yet you say overtly that you have fulfilled your responsibility, or that what was happening was unclear to you. Is this true? And is it what you really think? Are you not then completely under the control of your satanic disposition? … You never seek the truth, let alone practice it. You are merely constantly praying, making resolutions, setting aspirations, and pledging in your heart. And what is the outcome? You remain a people pleaser, you are not forthcoming about the problems you encounter, you do not care about evil people when you see them, you do not respond when someone does evil or creates a disturbance, and you remain aloof when you are not affected personally. You think, ‘I don’t talk about anything that doesn’t concern me. As long as it doesn’t hurt my interests, my vanity, or my image, I disregard everything without exception. I have to be very careful, as the bird that sticks its neck out is the one that gets shot. I’m not going to do anything stupid!’ You are totally and unwaveringly controlled by your corrupt dispositions of wickedness, deceitfulness, hardness, and aversion to the truth. They have grown harder for you to bear than the tightening golden headband worn by the Monkey King. Living under the control of corrupt dispositions is so exhausting and excruciating!” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s exposure exactly reflects my state. I knew that there was an issue with Kelli that needed to be reported to the upper level. Especially after reading the letters of God’s house urging the reporting of false leaders and antichrists, I considered reporting the issue several times. But I was afraid that if I reported it incorrectly, I might lose my duty or be isolated for reflection. I always considered my own interests. At critical moments, I couldn’t even say a word to uphold the interests of God’s house, and I didn’t dare to report a problem. I was really a good-for-nothing! I knew full well that Kelli was responsible for multiple churches, and if she truly was a false leader, it would significantly impact the church’s work, and many brothers and sisters’ life entry would suffer loss. But when I thought about how reporting the issue might not benefit me and could even harm my interests, I sought to protect myself, making excuses to evade responsibility, and waited for others to step forward and report it. I only cared about my own interests, and I didn’t have any regard for the impact on the church’s work or the life entry of the brothers and sisters. As long as I didn’t suffer any losses, I didn’t care. Even if I saw problems with the leader, I’d turn a blind eye, suppressing my conscience even when it was filled with guilt. I considered my own interests in everything. I was truly deceitful, selfish, and despicable! Previously, I had thought that I had a sense of justice, and I could point out and expose problems of other brothers and sisters. Now, thinking about it, I dared to point out and expose problems before, because it didn’t involve my interests. Now that it directly involved my own interests, I became a turtle hiding its head, lacking any integrity. During this period, I also recalled God’s words and knew what would be appropriate to do, but I placed my own interests above everything, and even though I understood the truth, I couldn’t practice it. I was not only selfish and despicable, but also intransigent and averse to the truth. After reading so many of God’s words, when I needed to stand up at crucial moments to uphold the church’s interests, I didn’t have the courage. I had truly listened to God’s words for so many years in vain; I didn’t have any testimony!
Later, Shirley read a passage of God’s words to me: “Let Me speak frankly: If you do not follow the right path or practice the truth, if you wave the banner of faith in God but want to live just like the nonbelievers and act wantonly, then your faith in God is meaningless. Why do I say it’s meaningless? Where does the meaning of faith in God lie? It lies in the complete change of the path people walk, their outlook on life, and their life direction and goals after they come to believe in God, in these things becoming totally different from those who don’t believe in God, from worldly people, and from devils, and the path believers walk being the total opposite of theirs. What is this opposite direction? It is you wanting to be a good person, and to be someone who submits to God and who has a human likeness. So, how can you achieve this? You should focus on striving for truth, and only then will you be able to change. If you don’t pursue the truth or practice the truth, then your faith in God has no meaning or value, your faith is an empty shell, devilish words meant to deceive, just empty words, without any effect at all” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Seven: They Are Wicked, Insidious, and Deceitful (Part One)). God’s words pierced my heart. I had believed in God for many years and had read many words of God, but in crucial moments, I didn’t practice the truth. I lived just like a nonbeliever, guided by Satan’s philosophies: “Let things drift if they do not affect one personally,” and “Sensible people are good at self-protection, seeking only to avoid making mistakes.” I safeguarded my own interests in everything, without considering God’s intentions at all. I professed to believe in God, but I did not practice His words. Had I not become a disbeliever? God does not save disbelievers. If I did not repent and continued to not practice the truth, I would only be eliminated. I should no longer protect my own interests; I had to report the issue with Kelli to the upper level. The next day, I wrote up the report on Kelli’s issue and submitted it to the upper-level leaders.
Soon after, Brother Rupert from the upper level arranged a meeting with me to understand the issue with Kelli. When I mentioned that I had previously committed transgressions in my duties and feared that if I reported this issue incorrectly, it might lead to isolation for reflection and losing my opportunity to do my duties, Rupert said that this showed a lack of understanding of God’s righteous disposition and of the principles God’s house uses to handle people, and he fellowshipped with me on this aspect of the truth. Through Rupert’s fellowship, I finally gained some understanding. God’s house handles people based on their nature essence and consistent behavior. If my intentions were right and intended to protect the interests of God’s house, then even if I mistakenly reported an issue due to lack of discernment, the brothers and sisters would fellowship with me to correct it, and I wouldn’t be dismissed or isolated just because I made an error in reporting a problem on a one-time basis. However, if I continued to live by Satan’s philosophies, failed to practice the truth, and did not protect the interests of God’s house, and if my attitude toward the truth was one of aversion and intransigence, then even if I made no mistakes, I would still eventually be revealed and eliminated. I recalled that I’d seen a sister isolated for reflection after reporting an issue, but this wasn’t because she reported an issue incorrectly. It was because her disposition was too arrogant, and she constantly constrained others and wasn’t a positive influence in her team. Isolating her for reflection was to give her a chance to repent. As long as she knew her corrupt disposition and stopped causing disturbances, she would still have the opportunity to be saved. Having believed in God for so many years, I hadn’t seen anyone eliminated for reporting issues with false leaders. God’s house indeed handles people based on their nature essence and consistent behavior. Later, the upper-level leaders, after understanding and verifying Kelli’s behavior, found that she not only lacked life entry and couldn’t do actual work, but also had a strong desire for status. She constantly testified about herself, belittled co-workers, and suppressed and tormented others. Once she found anyone not taking her seriously, she would hold a grudge, and if anyone dared to point out her problems or had different opinions from her, she would even treat them as dissenters and enemies. Based on Kelli’s behavior, it was determined that she was a false leader walking the path of an antichrist, and she was dismissed and isolated. The leaders also mentioned that the issue I’d reported was crucial and they encouraged me to promptly report any other problems I discovered in the future. When I saw Kelli dismissed, and that the church wasn’t being disrupted or disturbed by a false leader anymore, I felt deeply grateful to God!
Every time I think about how I’d lacked the courage to report the problem I found, how I only focused on protecting my own interests without safeguarding the interests of God’s house, and how I let the issue with the false leader drag on for more than half a year before it was addressed, I hate how selfish and despicable I was, and how severely bound by my corrupt disposition I was. It was God’s words that led me to break through the influences of darkness and gave me the courage to report the issue, protecting the church’s interests. I am truly grateful to God from the bottom of my heart!