By Yaqing, China

In November 2023, while doing text-based duties in the church, I supervised skills training, but sometimes when work got busy, I would postpone it, resulting in skills that should have been studied going unstudied. The supervisor noticed this deviation and urged me, “You must persist in holding skills learning sessions, this is what we currently lack the most,” and he also fellowshipped about the importance of studying skills. Then the supervisor asked me, “Have you compiled each of the deviations and issues pointed out to us by the leaders?” I was startled, thinking, “I only organized some of them in the beginning, but then I stopped. But if I tell the truth, what will the supervisor think of me? Would he say, ‘You are responsible for skills training, but you don’t even want to learn yourself!’ Usually, after the supervisor tells me what to do, I just agree and get right to work steadfastly, giving everyone the impression that I’m reliable and steadfast in my work. But if I say I forgot to organize these materials, won’t that give the supervisor the impression that I’m irresponsible in my duties?” So, I lied and said, “I have.” I felt a bit guilty and didn’t even dare to look up at the supervisor. I suddenly thought of a passage of God’s words: “You ought to know that God likes those who are honest. In essence, God is faithful, and so His words can always be trusted; His actions, furthermore, are faultless and unquestionable, which is why God likes those who are absolutely honest with Him. Honesty means giving your heart to God, being genuine with God in all things, being open with Him in all things, never hiding the facts, not trying to deceive those above and below you, and not doing things only to curry favor with God. In short, to be honest is to be pure in your actions and words, and to deceive neither God nor man” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Three Admonitions). I realized that honest people don’t mix truths with lies in their words and acts. They are straightforward and sincere and they can simply and openly express their thoughts to God and others. Then I thought about my own conduct. When the supervisor asked me if I had organized the deviations and issues in our techniques, even though I’d only just begun to organize these things, and hadn’t organized the rest at all, I was afraid that telling the truth would damage my image, so I told the supervisor that I’d organized what I was supposed to. I was being dishonest and lying. God clearly states that He likes honest people and loathes deceitful ones. I thought to myself, “Should I open up and be honest with the supervisor? But how would I start? If I just speak out, how will the supervisor view me? Will he say that I’m even lying about such trivial matters like this? No, that won’t do. I can’t speak out. If I do, I’ll end up humiliating myself.” Later, the supervisor suddenly said to me, “Didn’t you organize the problems and deviations? Then let’s hold a team study session this afternoon.” After saying this, he left. To avoid revealing the truth and embarrassing myself, I had to secretly organize these things during my lunch break, but this didn’t sit well with me. I thought of some of God’s words: “If someone does not love the truth, then they cannot put it into practice even if they understand it, because at heart, they are unwilling to do so and they do not like the truth. Such a person is beyond salvation” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Most Fundamental Practice of Being an Honest Person). I was well aware that God likes honest people, but I kept lying and being deceptive, and I felt very distressed. I prayed to God, “God, I am willing to be an honest person and to open up and lay myself bare to the supervisor.” So I spoke the truth to the supervisor, and to my surprise, the supervisor didn’t reprimand me. Later, I reflected on myself and realized that I often mixed truths with lies in my daily speech. Many times, when the supervisor inquired about my work, I hadn’t looked into the situation or hadn’t seen to it yet, but I worried that if I told the truth, the supervisor would look down on me, so I would lie and say I was looking into it or that I had already done it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized just how many lies I’d been telling!

Later, I read a passage of God’s words that moved me deeply. God says: “In their everyday lives, people often talk nonsense, tell lies, and say things that are ignorant, foolish, and defensive. Most of these things are said for the sake of vanity and pride, to satisfy their own egos. Speaking such falsehoods reveals their corrupt dispositions. If you were to resolve these corrupt elements, your heart would be purified, and you would gradually become purer and more honest. In reality, people all know why they lie. For the sake of personal gain and pride, or for vanity and status, they try to compete with others and pass themselves off as something that they’re not. However, their lies are eventually revealed and exposed by others, and they end up losing face, as well as their dignity and character. This is all caused by an excessive amount of lies. Your lies have become too numerous. Every word you say is adulterated and insincere, and not a single one can be considered true or honest. Even though you don’t feel that you’ve lost face when you tell lies, deep down, you feel disgraced. Your conscience blames you, and you hold a low opinion of yourself, thinking, ‘Why am I living such a pitiful life? Is it so difficult to speak the truth? Must I resort to lies for the sake of my pride? Why is my life so exhausting?’ You don’t have to live an exhausting life. If you can practice being an honest person, you will be able to live a relaxed, free, and liberated life. However, you have chosen to uphold your pride and vanity by telling lies. Consequently, you live a tiresome and miserable existence, which is self-inflicted. One may gain a sense of pride by telling lies, but what is that sense of pride? It is just an empty thing, and it is completely worthless. Telling lies means selling out one’s character and dignity. It strips away one’s dignity and one’s character; it displeases God, and He detests it. Is this worthwhile? It is not. Is this the correct path? No, it is not. People who frequently lie live according to their satanic dispositions; they live under Satan’s power. They do not live in the light, nor do they live in the presence of God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only an Honest Person Can Live Out True Human Likeness). God exposes that when a person lies, they feel distressed and their heart is gripped by unease and guilt, but because they can’t put aside their reputation and interests, they often live ensnared by Satan, lying and deceiving. I was overly fond of my reputation and status. When the supervisor asked me if I had summarized and organized the technical deviations, even though I clearly hadn’t done it, I was afraid that saying so would affect the good impression the supervisor had of me, so I lied and said I had. I realized that I was lying and deceiving, and I knew I had to practice being an honest person, opening up and laying myself bare according to God’s words. But I still couldn’t put aside my pride and status, and out of fear that revealing the truth would make the supervisor look down on me even more, I disregarded the sense of guilt in my conscience and continued to conceal the facts. I told barefaced lies for the sake of my reputation and status, and I was well aware of the truth but didn’t practice it. God truly was disgusted by and loathed my behavior!

Later on, I read another passage of God’s words: “The humanity of antichrists is dishonest, which means they are not truthful in the least. Everything they say and do is adulterated and contains their own intentions and goals, and hidden in it all are their unmentionable and unspeakable tricks and schemes. So the words and actions of antichrists are too contaminated and too full of falsity. No matter how much they speak, it’s impossible to know which of their words are true, which are false, which are right, and which are wrong. This is because they are dishonest, and their minds are extremely complicated, full of treacherous schemes and rife with tricks. None of what they say is straightforward. They do not say one is one, two is two, yes is yes, and no is no. Instead, in all matters, they beat around the bush and think things through several times in their minds, working out the consequences, weighing the merits and drawbacks from every angle. Then, they alter what they want to say using language so that everything they say sounds quite unwieldy. Honest people never understand what they say and are easily deceived and tricked by them, and whoever speaks and communicates with such people finds the experience tiring and laborious. They never say one is one and two is two, they never say what they are thinking, and they never describe things as they are. Everything they say is unfathomable, and the goals and intentions of their actions are very complicated. If the truth gets out—if other people see through them, and catch on to them—they quickly concoct another lie to get around it. This kind of person often lies, and after lying, they have to tell more lies to sustain the lie. They deceive others to hide their intentions, and fabricate all kinds of pretexts and excuses in aid of their lies, so that it is very difficult for people to tell what’s true and what’s not, and people don’t know when they are being truthful, much less when they’re telling a lie. When they lie, they do not blush or flinch, just as if they were telling the truth. Does this not mean they are habitually lying?” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Excursus Four: Summarizing the Character of Antichrists and Their Disposition Essence (Part One)). God exposes that antichrists constantly speak with their own intentions and purposes, and hidden within it all are unspeakable schemes. In matters big and small, in order to achieve their own goals, they process their words in their minds beforehand, and say whatever will benefit themselves. This shows that in their essence, antichrists are habitual liars. I often lied in both my life and work. When my supervisor asked about my work, even though I clearly hadn’t done it, I was afraid that telling the truth would affect my reputation and status, so I lied and said I’d done it. Sometimes when I wasn’t familiar with how the work was going, when the supervisor followed up on it, I’d report the situation I’d looked into before as if it were the current one. Even when the brothers I was partnered with or the supervisor asked about small matters, I’d lie. I was living by my deceitful disposition, turning matters over and over again in my head before saying anything, and after lying, I’d live in fear of the lies being exposed, so I’d quickly think of ways to smooth them over and cover them up. Reflecting on all my various shameful behaviors after each lie, I saw that I was just a deceitful person who couldn’t live in the light. God requires us to be honest people, and to speak and act according to facts. Our words should align with the facts, and we should express what is in our hearts. But in always lying and deceiving, was I not trying to deceive God? I recalled that the Lord Jesus said: “You are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father you will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and stayed not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it” (John 8:44). What I was revealing was a devilish disposition. God scrutinizes everything. These lies of mine could only deceive people temporarily, and sooner or later, they would be exposed. If I didn’t repent, then by the time my integrity and dignity had been frittered away, I would have become a complete and utter liar. I then recalled that the Lord Jesus said: “Truly I say to you, Except you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3). Almighty God also says: “You must know what kind of people I desire; those who are impure are not permitted to enter into the kingdom, those who are impure are not permitted to besmirch the holy ground. Though you may have done much work, and worked for many years, in the end if you are still deplorably filthy, then it will be intolerable to the law of Heaven that you wish to enter My kingdom!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Success or Failure Depends on the Path That Man Walks). God’s disposition is righteous and holy, and only those who are honest in their heart can enter God’s kingdom. If at the end of God’s work, I am still a person who speaks lies, I will surely be destroyed together with devils and Satans. God was still giving me the chance to repent, and I had to practice being an honest person.

Later, I read a passage of God’s words which helped me understand how to correctly treat the deviations and issues that arose in my work. God says: “If, having made a mistake, you can treat it correctly, and can allow everyone else to talk about it, permitting their commentary and discernment about it, and you can open up about it and dissect it, what will everyone’s opinion of you be? They will say you are an honest person, for your heart is open to God. Through your actions and behavior, they will be able to see your heart. But if you try to disguise yourself and deceive everyone, people will think little of you, and say you are a fool and an unwise person. If you do not try to put on a pretense or justify yourself, if you can admit your mistakes, everyone will say you are honest and wise. And what makes you wise? Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has faults and flaws. And actually, everyone has the same corrupt disposition. Do not think yourself more noble, perfect, and kind than others; that is being utterly unreasonable. Once people’s corrupt dispositions and the essence and true face of their corruption are clear to you, you will not try to cover up your own mistakes, nor will you hold other people’s mistakes against them—you will be able to face both correctly. Only then will you become insightful and not do foolish things, which will make you wise” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Principles That Should Guide One’s Conduct). God’s words made me understand that I should correctly treat my problems when my work isn’t done well or when I make mistakes and that I should open up and lay myself bare to everyone, and accept their guidance and help. This is what a wise person does. On reflection, I realized that when I didn’t do my work well and others asked about it, I’d always worry that if I spoke the truth, they would look down on me. But in reality, this wasn’t the case. Take this month for example, I didn’t lead everyone to learn skills, but when the supervisor found out, he didn’t blame or look down on me. Instead, he fellowshipped with me about the importance of learning skills and patiently helped me. But I worried that revealing my shortcomings would make others look down on me. With the facts right in front of me, I saw that I had been overthinking and really deceitful. Everyone has shortcomings and deficiencies in their duties, but if I kept covering up, lying, and engaging in deception, not letting others see my shortcomings, then over time, my brothers and sisters would come to discern my lies and deception and they’d expose me and reject me. Moreover, it was likely that some people knew about my issues, so really, I was just deceiving myself and burying my head in the sand. What I had to do was face my shortcomings correctly, and calmly face the problems in my work. If such a problem was a momentary oversight, I should quickly make up for it, and if it was a matter of being perfunctory in my duties, I should open up, lay myself bare to everyone and reflect on and know myself. This is what a wise person does.

I read a passage of God’s words, and I came to understand how to resolve the issue of lying and being deceitful. God says: “There are often intents behind people’s lies, but some lies don’t have any intent behind them, nor are they deliberately planned. Instead, they just come out naturally. Such lies are easy to resolve; it is lies with intents behind them that are difficult to resolve. This is because these intents come from one’s nature and represent Satan’s trickery, and they are intents that people intentionally choose. If someone does not love the truth, they will be unable to rebel against the flesh—so they should pray to God and rely on Him, and seek the truth to resolve the issue. But lying cannot completely be resolved all at once. There will be the occasional relapse, even multiple relapses. This is a normal situation, and as long as you resolve each and every lie you tell, and keep up with this, then the day will come when you will have resolved them all. The resolution of lying is a protracted war: When one lie pours out, reflect on yourself, and then pray to God. When another one comes out, reflect on yourself and pray to God again. The more you pray to God, the more you will hate your corrupt disposition, and the more you will long to practice the truth and live it out. Thus, you will have the strength to abandon lies. After a time of such experience and practice, you will be able to see that your lies have grown much fewer, that you are living with much greater ease, and that you need not lie or cover up your lies anymore. Though you may not speak much day to day, every sentence will come from the heart and be true, with very few lies. How will it feel to live like that? Will it not be freeing and liberating? Your corrupt disposition will not constrain you and you will not be bound by it, and you will at least begin to see the results of being an honest person. … Of course, there may be some of you who, when you begin to practice, will be mortified after speaking honest words and laying yourselves bare. Your face will go red, you will feel ashamed, and you will fear the laughter of others. What should you do, then? Still, you must pray to God and ask that He give you strength. You say: ‘Oh God, I want to be an honest person, but I’m afraid that people will laugh at me when I speak the truth. I ask that You save me from the bondage of my satanic disposition; let me live by Your words, and be freed and liberated.’ When you pray like this, there will be ever more brightness within your heart, and you will say to yourself: ‘It’s good to put this into practice. Today, I have practiced the truth. Finally, I’ve been an honest person for once.’ As you pray like this, God will enlighten you. He will work in your heart, and He will move you, allowing you to appreciate how it feels to be an honest person. This is how the truth must be put into practice. At the very start you will have no path, but through seeking the truth you will find a path” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Most Fundamental Practice of Being an Honest Person). From God’s words, I found a path of practice. When I speak and want to be deceitful to protect my pride and reputation, I should pray to God immediately and accept His scrutiny. I should consciously rebel against myself and ask God for His reproach and discipline. When times come where I find I’ve lied or adulterated facts, I should pray to God, set aside my pride to practice being an honest person, and open up and lay myself bare to my brothers and sisters so that we can dissect my intentions. Later, I consciously began to practice according to God’s words. One time, the supervisor asked me to implement a task and repeatedly gave me reminders. Later on, the supervisor asked me about the implementation and I realized that I’d forgotten to implement this task. I thought, “If I tell the truth, what will the supervisor think of me? Won’t he call me unreliable and untrustworthy? Or maybe I should just say that I implemented it?” Just as I opened my mouth to lie, I realized I was about to be deceitful again, so I prayed to God in my heart, “God, the supervisor is asking about my work, and I want to lie again. God, I no longer want to live by my deceitful disposition and to lie to my brothers and sisters. I am willing to strive to be an honest person, and I ask that You give me the resolution to practice the truth and rebel against my incorrect intention.” After praying, I felt calmer and told the supervisor that I had forgotten to implement the task. The supervisor then provided me with fellowship and guidance on this issue, and I realized that this was a deviation in my work and was willing to correct it.

Through this experience, I gained some understanding of the deceitful disposition behind my lying and deception, and I found some ways to resolve my lying and to be an honest person. Thank God!