By Bai Chen, China

Tuesday, March 28, 2023

This morning, I received a letter from the upper-level leaders, informing me that Xin Ran had been newly elected as a district leader. After reading the letter, I couldn’t calm down for a while, wondering, “Xin Ran has been a church leader for only a few months. I used to follow up on her work, and I know her work capabilities are somewhat lacking. Now, all of a sudden, she’s overseeing the work of the entire district—isn’t this too fast? Xin Ran has good humanity and focuses on her life entry, so she’s worth cultivating, but she’s not strong in her work capability. How can she manage the work of the entire district? I’ve been a church leader for many years. Now someone who has been a believer for a shorter time and has much less experience in leadership is going to be supervising my work. Doesn’t that make me appear incompetent?” The more I thought about it, the more unwilling I was to accept it, and I felt quite dissatisfied. But then I remembered that everything we encounter each day is permitted by God, and Xin Ran’s duty is within the arrangement and sovereignty of God. I shouldn’t view it from my own perspective. Instead, I should submit first.

Monday, April 10, 2023

Over the past two days, Xin Ran wrote to follow up on the gospel work, trying to understand some of the problems in my work and fellowshipping on how to turn things around. Reading her letters, I felt uncomfortable and really didn’t want to reply to her. I thought, “I’ve been in church leadership for over a decade. I know how to follow up on the work. I don’t need your guidance! You’ve been training in being a leader for less than a year, and now you’re trying to guide my work? I’m already familiar with the approaches you’ve shared.” I realized that what I was revealing was an arrogant disposition, thinking: If I continue to live in this arrogant disposition, feeling defiant and dissatisfied with Xin Ran’s follow-up on my work and refusing to cooperate with her, wouldn’t that put her under constraint? I remembered these words of God: “Do not always do things for your own sake and do not constantly consider your own interests; do not consider the interests of man, and give no thought to your own pride, reputation, and status. You must first consider the interests of God’s house, and make them your priority. You should be considerate of God’s intentions and begin by contemplating whether or not there have been impurities in the performance of your duty, whether you have been loyal, fulfilled your responsibilities, and given it your all, as well as whether or not you have been wholeheartedly thinking about your duty and the work of the church. You must consider these things. If you think about them frequently and figure them out, it will be easier for you to perform your duty well” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Freedom and Liberation Can Be Gained Only by Casting Off One’s Corrupt Disposition). Through God’s words, I understood that when things befall me, I can’t live according to my corrupt disposition. I must consider more about the interests of God’s house and do whatever benefits the church’s work. If I live in my arrogant disposition and don’t respond to Xin Ran’s letters, she won’t be able to grasp my work situation, making it difficult for her further follow-up. Besides, it might put her under constraint and impact her state, which could easily disrupt and disturb the church’s work. Following up and supervising the work is Xin Ran’s duty, and I should cooperate with her by promptly replying about the gospel work situation.

Friday, May 12, 2023

This afternoon, during a discussion about the gospel work, Xin Ran pointed out that I had been only focusing on general affairs lately, hadn’t been following up on the gospel work, and had strayed from my primary duty. I was aware of this issue she pointed out, and knew it was indeed a problem in my work, but hearing her point it out made me feel particularly uncomfortable. I thought, “You’ve only been a leader for a short time, yet you’re pointing out my issues in front of so many people, without sparing my pride. I already summarized this deviation in my previous work report. I’ve been responsible for the gospel work longer than you and know how to follow up on it. You don’t need to tell me about this deviation—I’ll correct it on my own in the following days!” After that, while Xin Ran continued fellowshipping, I focused on my own tasks, not participating in the communication at all. The atmosphere became somewhat awkward, and it affected the effectiveness of the meeting. This evening, Xin Ran shared about her state, saying she felt upset when no one responded to her words, making her doubt her ability to do the job. Hearing this, I felt a bit guilty. I knew that Xin Ran wasn’t pointing out the deviations and problems in my work out of malice, but to help me turn around the deviations in time, without delaying the gospel work. But why did I feel so resistant to it? If it had been an upper-level leader or my partnered brothers and sisters pointing out my issues, I wouldn’t have reacted this way. Why did I harbor such a hostile attitude toward Xin Ran? What is the root cause of me revealing such corruption?

I came across a passage of God’s words: “On what basis do people judge the level of their own qualifications? On how many years they have performed a certain duty, on how much experience they have gained, is it not? And with this being the case, will you not gradually start thinking in terms of seniority? For example, a certain brother has believed in God for many years and performed a duty for a long time, so he is the most qualified to speak; a certain sister has not been here long, and although she has a little caliber, she is not experienced in performing this duty, and hasn’t believed in God for long, so she is the least qualified to talk. The person who is most qualified to speak thinks to themselves, ‘Since I have seniority, that means the performance of my duty is up to standard, and my pursuit has reached its peak, and there is nothing I should strive for or enter into. I have performed this duty well, I have more or less completed this work, God should be satisfied.’ And in this way they begin to grow complacent. Does this indicate they have entered the truth reality? They have stopped making any progress. They have still not gained the truth or the life, and yet they think themselves highly qualified, and talk in terms of seniority, and wait for God’s reward. Is this not the revelation of an arrogant disposition? When people are not ‘highly qualified,’ they know to be cautious, they remind themselves not to make mistakes; once they believe themselves to be highly qualified, they grow arrogant, and start to have a high opinion of themselves, and are liable to be complacent. At such times, are they not likely to ask for rewards and a crown from God, as Paul did? (Yes.) What is the relationship between man and God? This is not the relationship between the Creator and created beings. It is nothing more than a transactional relationship. And when that is the case, people have no relationship with God, and God will likely hide His face from them—which is a dangerous sign” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only With Fear of God Can One Tread Upon the Path of Salvation). This passage of God’s words exposes my true state. I had been thinking in terms of seniority. I’d thought that Xin Ran was new to leadership and lacked work capability, while I’d been in church leadership for over ten years, and had more work experience and better qualifications. So when she followed up on my work and pointed out my deviations and issues, I felt extremely uncomfortable, as I thought that she wasn’t qualified to follow up on my work. In fact, for Xin Ran, following up on and looking into my work and pointing out the deviations and problems in my work was part of her responsibility and duty, and she was doing it for the benefit of the church’s work. This was a positive thing. But I was living in my arrogant disposition, using my years of experience in leadership to presume upon my seniority and flaunt my qualifications, and refused to accept her guidance. During the gathering, I didn’t participate in the work exchanges and instead just focused on my own tasks while wearing a sour expression, which made Xin Ran feel constrained in following up on my work. Was I not disrupting and disturbing the church’s work? The more I thought about it, the more I realized the seriousness of the nature of this issue. Moving forward, I have to seek the truth to resolve this problem.

Thursday, May 25, 2023

During my morning devotional today, I read a passage of God’s words: “Serving God is no simple task. Those whose corrupt disposition remains unchanged can never serve God. If your disposition has not been judged and chastised by God’s words, then your disposition still represents Satan, which proves that you serve God out of your own good intentions, that your service is based on your satanic nature. You serve God with your natural character, and according to your personal preferences. What’s more, you always think that the things you are willing to do are what are delightful to God, and that the things you do not wish to do are what are loathsome to God; you work entirely according to your own preferences. Can this be called serving God? Ultimately, there will not be the slightest change in your life disposition; instead, your service will make you even more stubborn, thus deeply ingraining your corrupt disposition, and as such, there will be formed within you rules about service to God that are primarily based on your own character, and experiences derived from your service according to your own disposition. These are the experiences and lessons of man. It is man’s philosophy for worldly dealings. People like this can be classed as Pharisees and religious officials. If they never wake up and repent, then they will surely turn into the false christs and the antichrists who mislead people in the last days. The false christs and the antichrists that were spoken of will arise from among such people. If those who serve God follow their own character and act according to their own will, they run the risk of being eliminated at any time. Those who apply their many years of experience acquired to serving God in order to win the hearts of others, to lecture them and constrain them, and to stand on high—and who never repent, never confess their sins, never renounce the benefits of position—these people shall fall before God. They are of the same kind as Paul, presuming upon their seniority and flaunting their qualifications. God will not bring people like this to perfection. Such service disrupts the work of God” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Religious Service Must Be Purged). Through the exposure of God’s words, I realized that doing one’s duty based on a corrupt disposition and following personal preferences in serving God only leads down a path of resisting God. If a person relies on their years of experience as capital, constantly flaunting seniority to constrain others, then this is walking the same path as Paul, and everything they do is an evil deed! Since learning that Xin Ran had been elected as the district leader to supervise my work, I’ve been filled with defiance. I believed that she lacked work capability, and had only trained in being a leader for a short time, so I concluded she was unfit for the role based on my own notions and imaginings. I didn’t seek God’s intentions in this matter. Instead, I constantly flaunted my seniority at Xin Ran. When she followed up on or guided my work, I was highly dismissive, thinking that given my work capability and years of leadership experience, she wasn’t qualified to instruct me. But upon deeper reflection, I think: Could it be that my work really has no deviations? Don’t I need others to supervise and follow up on my work? No matter how much experience I have, it doesn’t mean I understand the truth or possess the truth reality. My work inevitably has deviations and flaws. Xin Ran’s supervision and instruction of my work are meant to help me do my duty better, and they are beneficial to both the church’s work and my own life entry. However, I resisted and refused to accept her following up on and supervising my work, revealing my aversion to the truth. I’ve considered my work experience and long tenure in leadership as capital, and I’ve always thought I knew the work better than Xin Ran and could do it well on my own. But in reality, my duty still has many deviations and issues. Despite lacking the truth reality, I’ve been conceited, and I’ve looked down upon Xin Ran, thinking I was more competent than her. I’ve been so arrogant and self-righteous, lacking any reason at all!

Monday, June 5, 2023

Over these past few days of reflection, I’ve realized that I didn’t truly understand the principles of God’s house for promoting and cultivating people. I was approaching and evaluating things based on my own notions and imaginings. I placed too much emphasis on experience and the length of time a person has been in leadership, rather than evaluating them based on the truth principles. Almighty God says: “What are the required standards for supervisors of the various items of work? There are three main ones. First, they must have the ability to comprehend the truth. Only those who can comprehend the truth purely without distortion and draw inferences are people of good caliber. People of good caliber must at the very least have spiritual understanding and be able to eat and drink the words of God independently. In the process of eating and drinking God’s words, they must be able to independently accept the judgment, chastisement, and pruning of God’s words, and seek the truth in order to resolve their own notions and imaginings and the adulteration of their own will, as well as their corrupt dispositions—if they reach this standard it means they know how to experience the work of God, and this is a manifestation of good caliber. Secondly, they must carry a burden for the church’s work. People who truly carry a burden don’t just have enthusiasm, they have true life experience, understand some truths, and they can see through some problems. They see that in the church’s work and God’s chosen people there are many difficulties and problems that need to be resolved. They see this with their eyes and worry about it in their hearts—this is what it means to carry a burden for the church’s work. If someone is merely of good caliber and capable of comprehending the truth, but they are lazy, covet the comforts of the flesh, aren’t willing to do real work, and only do a bit of work when the Above issues them a deadline for its completion, when they can’t get away with not doing it, then this is a person who carries no burden. People who carry no burden are people who do not pursue the truth, people with no sense of justice, and good-for-nothings who spend all day stuffing their faces, without giving serious thought to anything. Thirdly, they must possess work capability. What does ‘work capability’ mean? Simply put, it means that not only can they assign work and give people instructions, but they can also identify and solve problems—this is what it means to possess work capability. In addition, they also need organizational skills. People with organizational skills are particularly adept at bringing people together, organizing and arranging work, and solving problems, and when arranging work and solving problems, they can thoroughly convince people and make them obey—this is what it means to have organizational skills. Those who truly have work capability can carry out specific jobs arranged by God’s house, and can do so swiftly and decisively without any sloppiness, and moreover they can do the various jobs well. These are the three standards of God’s house for cultivating leaders and workers. If someone meets these three standards, they are a rare, talented individual and should be promoted, cultivated, and trained straight away, and after practicing for a period of time, they can then take on the work” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (5)). “When God’s house promotes and cultivates someone to be a leader, it gives them more of a burden to train them, to make them depend on God, and to make them strive toward the truth; only then will their stature grow as quickly as possible. The greater the burden that is placed on them, the more pressure they are put under, and the more they are forced to seek the truth and depend on God. Ultimately, they will be able to do their work properly and follow God’s will, and so will have set foot upon the right track of being saved and made perfect—this is the effect that is achieved when God’s house promotes and cultivates people. … When someone is promoted and cultivated to be a leader, they are enabled to learn how to discern the states of different people, train in seeking the truth to solve different people’s difficulties, and supporting and providing for different kinds of people, and leading people into the truth reality. At the same time, they must also train in resolving various problems and difficulties encountered during work, and learn how to distinguish and deal with various types of antichrists, evil people, and disbelievers, and how to do the work of cleansing the church. In this way, compared with others, they can experience more people, events, and things, and more environments arranged by God, eat and drink more and more of the words of God, and enter into ever more truth realities. This is an opportunity to train themselves, is it not? The more the opportunities for training, the more plentiful people’s experiences, the broader their insights, and the more quickly they will grow. … For people, is it a good thing to enter the truth reality quickly, or slowly? (Quickly.) Therefore, when it comes to people who are possessed of caliber, carry a burden, and have work capability, God’s house makes an exception by promoting such people, unless they are not people who pursue the truth and they do not strive toward the truth, in which case, God’s house will not force them” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (5)). Pondering God’s words, I saw that God clearly fellowships the requirements, principles, and significance of promoting and cultivating people. When promoting and cultivating someone, the house of God prioritizes whether they possess the ability and caliber to comprehend the truth, and whether they have a sense of burden in their duties. If they meet these two criteria, then even if their work capability is lacking, it can be improved through training. The significance of God’s house cultivating people is mainly to provide individuals with more opportunities to train, allowing them to grow more quickly in grasping various truth principles and in their own life entry. If someone meets the criteria for cultivation, then God’s house will give them opportunities for training and place more burdens on them. However, when evaluating whether a person is suitable for cultivation, I didn’t focus on their ability and caliber to comprehend the truth or whether they had a genuine sense of burden for their duties. Instead, I merely focused on how long they’d been a leader and whether they were experienced. I viewed things according to my notions and imaginings, and this wasn’t in line with the truth! After understanding these principles, I applied them to Xin Ran and saw that she met the criteria for cultivation. She has a sense of burden in her duties and takes the initiative in promoting the work. When she spotted problems, she brought them up and analyzed them with us. Moreover, she focuses on life entry. When we were just busying ourselves with tasks in our duties, she reminded us to focus on learning lessons from the things we encountered. While Xin Ran might lack some work capability, she focuses on seeking the truth principles in what she does, and sometimes she’s able to identify some work-related issues. Her lack of work capability is due to her short time spent training, but this opportunity to serve as a district leader would help her grow faster. On the other hand, my sense of burden for my duties, humanity, and life entry aren’t as good as Xin Ran’s, so what grounds do I have to not accept her leadership? I need to adopt the right mindset toward her insufficiencies, and we should be learning from each other’s strengths to make up for our deficiencies, and working together to do our duties well. That’s the attitude and practice I should adopt.

Tuesday, June 20, 2023

Today, while discussing work with Xin Ran, she pointed out that I tended to focus on people’s external behavior when cultivating them, and that I didn’t seek truth principles. She also referenced relevant passages of God’s words to fellowship with me. After listening to her fellowship, I gained a clearer understanding of my own issues. I also truly felt that working with brothers and sisters in our duties is a process of drawing on each other’s strengths to make up for our deficiencies. Just as God says: “Cooperation among brothers and sisters is a process of offsetting one’s weaknesses with another’s strengths. You use your strengths to compensate for others’ shortcomings, and others use their strengths to make up for your insufficiencies. This is what it means to offset one’s weaknesses with others’ strengths and to cooperate harmoniously. Only when cooperating in harmony can people be blessed before God, and the more of this one experiences, the more reality they possess, their path grows brighter as they walk it, and they become ever more at ease” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. On Harmonious Cooperation). Afterward, when Xin Ran offered guidance, I was able to treat it properly and accept it readily. When faced with something I couldn’t see through in the work, I would discuss it with Xin Ran. It has been through God’s words that I’ve gained some understanding of my arrogant disposition, corrected my wrong views and learned how to collaborate with others. These gains and realizations are the result of the guidance of God’s words. Thank God!