38. My Choice

By Shara, The Philippines

My parents passed away early on in my life, and my two sisters and I lived with our grandmother from a young age, and it was our grandmother who preached the gospel of the Lord Jesus to us. We often prayed to the Lord and went to church with our grandmother on Sundays. After our grandmother passed away, our aunt and uncle took us in, treating us as their own children. Our aunt would often tell us that studying was the most important thing in life and that it was the key to having a bright future. I held these words in my heart, thinking that no matter what happened, I could not give up on my studies. I studied really hard, and would insist on going to school even when I was sick. My grades were always among the top in my class, and I won a lot of awards and certificates.

In 2020, after the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, I stopped going to church, and I began reading the Bible at home. I was inspired by the saints in the Bible who dedicated their lives to God, and gradually, I developed a desire to serve God. I started looking online for groups to gather with, and in August 2020, a friend on Facebook invited me to attend an online gathering. In the gathering, they testified to me about Almighty God’s work in the last days. When I first read the words of Almighty God, I was deeply moved and excited because the words of Almighty God had authority and revealed many mysteries I hadn’t understood before. As a result, I became really eager to attend online gatherings, and in my spare time, I watched a lot of movies from The Church of Almighty God and brothers’ and sisters’ experiential testimonies. My heart was filled with joy and provision.

Before long, I was practicing watering newcomers online. Due to the pandemic, I could only complete my studies online and I had a lot of free time, so balancing my duties and studies wasn’t too difficult. Over time, my uncle and aunt began to worry that my duties would impact my studies and so they asked me to stop attending online gatherings. I was a little worried, thinking, “If I am not allowed to attend online gatherings, how am I going to do my duties? Recently, more and more newcomers have been coming to accept the work of Almighty God, and if I don’t water them properly, their lives will suffer. That would be my fault and I’m certain it would leave me with a guilty conscience.” Because of this, I chose to continue doing my duties. One day, the leader sent me a message asking if I wanted to do my duties full-time. I was ecstatic and agreed immediately when I got this message as I could finally spend all my time expending myself for God, and my lifelong wish to serve God would be realized. But I also had some concerns, as I wondered, “If I’m doing my duties full-time, what will happen to my studies? If I drop out of school, what’ll happen to my future? How will my uncle and aunt feel? They still expect me to take care of them one day, and for me to repay their love and the efforts they’ve taken in raising me.” Just then, I read two passages of God’s words: “Regardless of what duty one performs, it is the most proper thing they could do, the most beautiful and just thing among humankind. As created beings, people ought to perform their duty, and only then can they receive the approval of the Creator. Created beings live under the Creator’s dominion, and they accept all that is provided by God and everything that comes from God, so they should fulfill their responsibilities and obligations. This is perfectly natural and justified, and was ordained by God. From this it can be seen that, for people to perform the duty of a created being is more just, beautiful, and noble than anything else done while living on earth; nothing among humankind is more meaningful or worthy, and nothing brings greater meaning and worth to the life of a created person, than performing the duty of a created being. On earth, only the group of people who truly and sincerely perform the duty of a created being are those who submit to the Creator. This group does not follow worldly trends; they submit to the leadership and guidance of God, only listen to the words of the Creator, accept the truths expressed by the Creator, and live by the words of the Creator. This is the truest, most resounding testimony, and it is the best testimony of belief in God. For a created being to be able to fulfill the duty of a created being, to be able to satisfy the Creator, is the most beautiful thing among humankind, and is something that should be spread as a tale to be praised by all people. Anything the Creator entrusts to created beings should be unconditionally accepted by them; for humankind, this is a matter of both happiness and privilege, and for all those who fulfill the duty of a created being, nothing is more beautiful or worthy of commemoration—it is something positive. … As a created being, when one comes before the Creator, they ought to perform their duty. This is a very proper thing to do, and they should fulfill this responsibility. On the basis that created beings perform their duties, the Creator has done even greater work among humankind, and He has carried out a further stage of work on people. And what work is that? He provides humankind with the truth, allowing them to gain the truth from Him as they perform their duties and thereby to cast off their corrupt dispositions and be purified. Thus, they come to satisfy God’s intentions and embark on the right path in life, and, ultimately, they are able to fear God and shun evil, attain complete salvation, and no longer be subjected to Satan’s afflictions. This is the effect that God would have humankind achieve in the end by performing their duties(The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Seven)). “As members of the human race and devout Christians, it is the responsibility and obligation of us all to offer up our minds and bodies for the fulfillment of God’s commission, for our entire being came from God, and it exists thanks to the sovereignty of God. If our minds and bodies are not dedicated to God’s commission and the just cause of mankind, then our souls will feel ashamed before those who were martyred for God’s commission, and much more ashamed before God, who has provided us with everything(The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Appendix 2: God Presides Over the Fate of All Mankind). God’s words clearly tell us that dedicating our bodies and minds to fulfilling God’s commission and spreading His gospel is our responsibility and obligation. If our bodies and minds aren’t dedicated to God’s commission and we just spend our lives living for the flesh, then our lives are meaningless. God hopes that we can do our duties and not fritter away our time. I am a created being, and my life comes from God, so I should do my duties. From God’s words, I also realized that doing duty is the path to attaining salvation and perfection, and that if I stopped doing my duties, my life would be empty, and I would be living in vain without Almighty God’s approval. God’s words gave me courage, and I developed a desire to satisfy God and dedicate my life to Him. Although I was willing to give up everything along with my studies to do the duties of a created being, I also worried about what would happen to my future if I gave up on my studies. I wondered whether I would be able to find a good job without a diploma, and whether I would be able to support myself in the future. I also remembered what my aunt would often say, “Education is the most important thing in life. Knowledge is the most valuable asset, something that can’t be stolen, and the key to a bright future.” I thought that if I didn’t do well in my studies, I wouldn’t be able to find a good job, and wouldn’t have a stable life. This thought made me even more anxious and worried. By this point, I was only two or three months from graduating from high school, so I wanted to finish my high school studies first. In this way, I studied while doing my duties at the church. I wanted to do both well at the same time, but it was actually very difficult. Sometimes I had to do homework and water newcomers, and my heart would be unable to calm down. I remember one day, I was given some homework, and when I saw how much there was, I wondered what would become of my duties if I tried to finish it all. Moreover, when I read the material I was studying, I felt very uncomfortable because most of the content of the course didn’t align with the truth, and some even contradicted the truth and denied the existence of God. This caused me a lot of pain and inner turmoil. I felt as if I were living in two worlds: a world of light and a world of darkness, and that I was standing with one foot in the light and the other in the darkness. At this point, I finally realized that I had to make a choice between my studies and my duties.

I read a passage of God’s words: “Some people choose a good major in college and end up finding a satisfactory job after graduation, making a triumphant first stride in the journey of their lives. Some people learn and master many different skills and yet never find a job that suits them or never find their position, much less have a career; at the outset of their life journey, they find themselves thwarted at every turn, beset by troubles, their prospects dismal and their lives uncertain. Some people apply themselves diligently to their studies, yet narrowly miss every chance to receive a higher education; they seem fated never to achieve success, their very first aspiration in the journey of their lives having dissolved into thin air. Not knowing whether the road ahead is smooth or rocky, they feel for the first time how full of variables human destiny is, and so regard life with expectation and dread. Some people, despite not being very well educated, write books and achieve a measure of fame; some, though almost totally illiterate, make money in business and are thereby able to support themselves…. What occupation one chooses, how one makes a living: do people have any control over whether they make a good choice or a bad choice in these things? Do these things accord with people’s desires and decisions? Most people have the following wishes: to work less and earn more, not to toil in the sun and rain, to dress well, to glow and shine everywhere, to tower above others, and to bring honor to their ancestors. People hope for perfection, but when they take their first steps in the journey of their lives, they gradually come to realize how imperfect human destiny is, and for the first time they truly grasp the fact that, though one can make bold plans for one’s future and though one may harbor audacious fantasies, no one has the ability or the power to realize their own dreams, and no one is in a position to control their own future. There will always be some distance between one’s dreams and the realities that one must confront; things are never as one would like them to be, and faced with such realities, people can never achieve satisfaction or contentment. Some people will go to any length imaginable, will put forth great efforts and make great sacrifices for the sake of their livelihoods and future, in an attempt to change their own fate. But in the end, even if they can realize their dreams and desires by means of their own hard work, they can never change their fates, and no matter how doggedly they try, they can never exceed what destiny has allotted them. Regardless of differences in ability, intelligence, and willpower, people are all equal before fate, which does not distinguish between the great and the small, the high and the low, the exalted and the mean. What occupation one pursues, what one does for a living, and how much wealth one amasses in life are not decided by one’s parents, one’s talents, one’s efforts or one’s ambitions, but are predetermined by the Creator(The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique III). After reading God’s words, I understood that my destiny and future aren’t in my own hands, nor do they depend on my efforts. These things are determined in their entirety by the Creator. My aunt had always said that knowledge was the key to a bright future and wealth beyond compare, and these words became deeply rooted in my heart, making me believe it to be the truth. I often told myself that no matter what happened, I mustn’t stop my studies, as this was the key to a successful future, and that if I stopped studying, my destiny wouldn’t change. I didn’t want to grow up poor or die poor, so I studied hard. But now I realized that the words that had been instilled in my heart were those used by Satan to mislead people, causing people to oppose God and deny His sovereignty and arrangements, making us believe that a good destiny depends on our own hard work, and that one’s destiny is in one’s own hands, causing us to deny the truth that human destiny is in the hands of the Creator. I wondered why many people who have high academic qualifications or study good majors end up with careers and wealth that fall so dramatically short of their expectations. Some become nannies after graduation, some become farmers, some become salespeople, and some don’t even find a job. On the other hand, many people who didn’t study at all, or at least didn’t study hard, are now rich or famous. Reflecting on these things, I understood that our destinies aren’t in our hands, but in the hands of God. Just as the Lord Jesus said: “Therefore I say to you, Take no thought for your life, what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor yet for your body, what you shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much better than they?(Matthew 6:25–26). From God’s words, I understood that God is the source of all that we need, that He provides for all our needs, and that I didn’t have to worry about anything. As for my future, whether I will have food to eat, a house to live in, or whether I will find a good job, I need not worry, as I just need to seek God and entrust everything to Him, and God will orchestrate and arrange everything. At that moment, I felt at ease, and I decided to halt my studies and focus on my duties. But I was worried that my family might not agree to this and I felt that I owed them something. They had been through a lot to raise me. My uncle would often work overtime and had taken on a part-time job to earn more money to support us. Sometimes he chose to go without food to make sure we had enough to eat. These thoughts made me feel really distressed, but if I gave up my duties to repay them, my conscience would feel unsettled.

Later, I came across a passage of Almighty God’s words that resolved my problem. Almighty God says: “God created this world and brought man, a living being unto which He bestowed life, into it. Next, man came to have parents and kin, and was no longer alone. Ever since man first laid eyes on this material world, they were destined to exist within the ordination of God. The breath of life from God supports each and every living being throughout growth into adulthood. During this process, no one feels that man is growing up under the care of God; rather, they believe that man is doing so under the loving care of their parents, and that it is their own life instinct that directs their growing up. This is because man knows not who bestowed them life, or from whence it came, much less the way in which the instinct of life creates miracles. They know only that food is the basis on which their life continues, that perseverance is the source of their existence, and that the beliefs in their mind are the capital upon which their survival depends. Of God’s grace and provision, man is utterly oblivious, and thus do they fritter away the life bestowed upon them by God…. Not a single one of this humanity that God cares for day and night takes it upon themselves to worship Him. God only continues to work on man, for whom He holds out no expectations, as He has planned. He does so in the hope that one day, man will awaken from their dream and suddenly realize the value and meaning of life, the price God paid for all that He has given them, and the eager solicitude with which God waits for man to turn back to Him(The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God Is the Source of Man’s Life). From God’s words, I understood that God provides for everyone, and that although it seems like it is our family that takes care of us, behind the scenes, it is actually God who arranges things and watches over us throughout our lives. I suddenly recalled that when my sisters and I were still children, even without our parents’ care, we lived well. No matter where we lived, the people we met were always kind and treated us as their own children. I also recalled that when I was seven years old, when my sister and I were crossing the road one time, a car suddenly came at us and almost hit us. My sister and I were too stunned to move, but the car suddenly stopped, and we didn’t get hurt. Another time, I almost got hit by a tricycle while crossing the road, and it also stopped suddenly, and I was unharmed too. Thinking about these incidents made me cry uncontrollably. God had always been by my side watching over and protecting me, but I hadn’t realized it. I thought everything I had had been the result of my uncle and aunt’s sacrifices and hard work. This gratitude to them never left my mind and I hoped to repay them. From God’s words, I understood that everything I had was due to God’s love and care, and that God was the One who deserved my love and gratitude the most. As a created being, I have the obligation and responsibility to do the duties of a created being. Afterward, I prayed to God, asking Him to give me the courage to tell my family about my decision.

One evening, I sent a message to my aunt, and this was what I wrote: “Auntie, when I was young, grandma shared the gospel of the Lord Jesus with my sisters and me, she taught us how to pray to God, and she made us understand that God is the Creator. I saw how wonderful and good God is, that He sacrificed everything for humanity, and that He forgives us regardless of how many sins we have. Since God does everything for us, why can’t we people do our duties amidst God’s management? Because of this, I have decided to serve God. The Lord has become flesh again, and He is Almighty God, and He is performing the work of judgment and cleansing to free people from sin. I want to dedicate all my time to my duties and to fulfilling my promise to God. I hope you can accept my decision.” After sending this message, it felt as if a thorn had been removed from my throat, and I felt much better.

The next morning, my aunt said to me, “Shara, are you sure this is your decision? What about your future? Your uncle has gone to such lengths for you, and you’re giving up your studies so easily?” My aunt also said a lot of hurtful things and I was deeply wounded by what she said. My aunt then asked me, “Are you still studying?” I replied, “No, not anymore.” My aunt was very angry when she heard this and raised her voice, “What? You’re not studying? What are you thinking? Your uncle and I worked so hard to put you through school, and this is how you treat us? I always thought you were the kindest and smartest of your sisters, but it looks like I was wrong. You’ve really disappointed us!” I couldn’t stop the tears flowing from my eyes, as I knew they had paid a great price on my behalf, but I felt I was right in choosing my duties. But no matter how many times I tried to explain, my aunt just didn’t understand me. Later on in the kitchen, I sent a message to a sister, telling her about what I was going through. The sister encouraged me and sent me a passage of God’s words: “You must possess My courage within you, and you must have principles when it comes to facing relatives who do not believe. For My sake, however, you also must not yield to any dark forces. Rely on My wisdom to walk the perfect way; do not allow any of Satan’s conspiracies to take hold. Put all your efforts into placing your heart before Me, and I shall comfort you and bring you peace and happiness. Do not strive to be a certain way in front of other people; does making Me satisfied not carry more value and weight? In satisfying Me, will you not be even further filled with eternal and lifelong peace and happiness?(The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 10). God’s words moved my heart and gave me strength, and I felt that God was encouraging, reminding, and exhorting me. I knew that Satan was using my family to tempt and attack me, making me weak and wanting me to retreat, but I couldn’t yield to Satan. No matter how my family treated me, I had to stand firm in my testimony to shame Satan! I prayed to God, “God, Satan is attacking me, and I am weak and powerless. Please give me strength, watch over my heart, and keep me from Satan’s schemes.” After my prayer, I gained courage and became willing to rely on God to face the coming situation. A while later, my uncle came back. Seeing my uncle, I couldn’t help but feel nervous again. My uncle said, “You want to go and serve God in the church. Is that what you really want?” I nodded. He asked again, “Are you sure about your decision?” I said: “Yes.” I thought my uncle would be furious, but to my surprise, he said, “Alright, if that is your decision, I won’t stop you. Shara, I promised your mother that I would take care of you and your sisters and ensure you received an education, and now that I’ve already given you that, I won’t interfere with your decision any further. So long as you don’t end up regretting your decision, go ahead and do what you want.” At that point, I couldn’t help but cry; I really hadn’t expected my uncle to be so calm. I saw that everyone around me was under God’s sovereignty, that this was God’s doing, and I thanked God from the bottom of my heart!

But to my surprise, one day my uncle suddenly changed his mind and demanded to meet with the brothers and sisters, saying that I couldn’t leave before he did, I had to give him my phone at 8 p.m. and couldn’t attend the gathering, and if I refused to hand over my phone, he would throw me out. Hearing him say this really scared me. Because my uncle was quite strict, I didn’t dare to disobey his demands, but there were also newcomers who needed watering at 8 p.m., and if my uncle took my phone, how would I water them? With this in mind, I just couldn’t calm down, so I prayed to God, “God, there’s nothing I can do right now, I entrust my current situation to You. Please help me.” After praying, I thought of how everything is in God’s hands, and how I had to rely on God, stand with Him, and not allow Satan’s schemes to succeed. With this thought, I felt enlightened and decided to water the newcomers. 8 p.m. came and my uncle didn’t take my phone, and I attended the online gathering as usual. To my surprise, my uncle didn’t say anything or interrupt my online gathering, and remained silent until I finished the gathering with the newcomers. In that moment I couldn’t help but cry. I saw that no matter how strict my uncle was, he was also in God’s hands and under God’s sovereignty and orchestrations. I thought my persecution from my uncle had ended, but he continued to stand in my way. Sometimes I couldn’t help but wonder, “Why did my uncle suddenly change his mind and start opposing me?” That was until I read two passages of God’s words: “When God works, cares for a person, and looks upon this person, and when He favors and approves this person, Satan trails closely behind, trying to mislead the person and bring them to harm. If God wishes to gain this person, Satan will do everything in its power to obstruct God, using various wicked ploys to tempt, disturb and impair the work of God, in order to achieve its hidden objective. What is this objective? It does not want God to gain anyone; it wants to snatch possession of those whom God wishes to gain, it wants to control them, to take charge of them so they worship it, so they join it in committing evil acts, and resist God. Is this not Satan’s sinister motive?(The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique IV). “In every step of work that God does on people, externally it appears to be interactions between people, as if born of human arrangements or from human disturbance. But behind the scenes, every step of work, and everything that happens, is a wager made by Satan before God, and requires people to stand firm in their testimony to God. Take when Job was tried, for example: Behind the scenes, Satan was making a wager with God, and what happened to Job was the deeds of men and the disturbance of men. Behind every step of work that God does in you is Satan’s wager with God—behind it all is a battle. … When God and Satan do battle in the spiritual realm, how should you satisfy God, and how should you stand firm in your testimony to Him? You should know that everything that happens to you is a great trial and the time when God needs you to bear testimony(The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God). After reading God’s words, I understood that God wants to save people, and that Satan doesn’t want people to freely follow God and doesn’t want God to gain anyone. Therefore, when people want to draw near to God and worship Him, Satan makes every effort to disturb people and hinder them from coming before God. I saw just how evil and shameless Satan is! On the surface, what I was running up against was the obstruction and restriction of my family, but hidden behind this was Satan’s disturbance. Satan was using the people, events, and things around me to stop me from following God. This was Satan’s malicious goal, and I came to hate Satan even more. God says: “You should know that everything that happens to you is a great trial and the time when God needs you to bear testimony.” No matter how Satan disturbs and obstructs me, I will stand firm in my testimony and shame Satan! I also thought of what Job went through. Behind the scenes, Satan made a bet with God, and various bodily, emotional, and spiritual sufferings came upon Job. Job endured many hardships without rebelling against or distancing himself from God, and even when his wife disturbed and attacked him to make him abandon his faith in God, he remained steadfast. In the end, Satan saw that Job still didn’t deny or betray God despite enduring great torment and retreated in shame. With this in mind, my determination to follow God became even more resolute. Later on, my uncle brought relatives to the house almost every day to try and persuade me to change my mind. My uncle said, “What’s more important to you now, your duty or your family? Choose!” They also said many things that opposed and denied God, and I clearly saw their true face of resisting and hating God. No matter how they tried to persuade or obstruct me, nothing made me change my decision. I continued to do my duty and packed my belongings to leave home. Now that I’m doing my duty with the brothers and sisters, I feel a sense of ease and peace. At last, I can freely follow God and do my duty!

Previous: 37. What Is the Problem of Fearing Responsibility in My Duty?

Next: 39. I No Longer Feel Troubled or Anxious Because of My Age

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