By Gu Nian, China

In 2019, 18-year-old Mu Xi was arrested by the CCP for preaching the gospel, given a two-and-a-half-year sentence, and released in April 2022. She walked out of the train station and saw her father standing by the roadside, looking desolate as he anxiously gazed at the exit. Mu Xi felt very excited, as she hadn’t seen her father in three years. While in prison, Mu Xi learned that her father’s rheumatism had worsened and she wondered if his health had improved by this point. As she thought this, Mu Xi quickened her pace toward her father. As she approached, she noticed her father’s back had become slightly hunched and that his face bore signs of sorrow and aging. Sadness surged in Mu Xi’s heart, and she felt a sting in her nose and turned away to wipe her tears. After returning home, during a conversation with her father, she learned that he had been worrying about her constantly these last few years. He couldn’t believe it when he received the arrest notice from the police department that year, and he couldn’t accept it either. His eighteen-year-old child was arrested and imprisoned, and he didn’t know how the police would torture her. He spent his days so worried that he couldn’t sleep or eat properly. On top of that, years of hard labor left him with chronic ailments, and the rheumatism in his legs had worsened. He could rarely do heavy work and limped when the pain was severe, and he was afraid that if he died alone at home, no one would even know. Mu Xi saw her usually strong father’s eyes were red, and he spoke with a slight catch in his throat about what had happened over the past few years. Mu Xi felt a heart-wrenching pain, and tears streamed down her face. Mu Xi remembered that when she was eleven, her mother had been pursued by the police for believing in God and had had to go into hiding. It was her father who had single-handedly played both roles of father and mother, as he cared for and raised her. Her father not only worked as a truck driver, but also did farm work, and after a long day of hard labor, he had no time to rest as he still had to take care of her as a child. Later, when she left home to do her duties, the police constantly came to her house to interrogate her father about their whereabouts, and it was all her father who dealt with this all alone, enduring the cold glances and ridicule from relatives and neighbors, while always worrying about the safety of both her and her mother. Then she thought about how her father had just been left with a cold, empty house every day, suffering from pain without anyone by his side to talk to or care for him. Mu Xi felt even more indebted to her father and was filled with guilt, thinking that she had grown up but hadn’t helped her father with any of life’s pressures, and had caused her father to worry about her. Had she not been unfilial? Mu Xi secretly told herself, “Now that I’m back, I’ve got to stay by my father’s side and help him suffer less.” In the days that followed, Mu Xi began working to earn money and carefully took care of her father’s needs.

Before long, half a year had passed, but the police were still monitoring Mu Xi’s whereabouts, preventing her from living a church life and doing her duties, making her feel empty and distressed. One day, the church leader asked Mu Xi if she was willing to go elsewhere to do her duties. Mu Xi felt very excited, as she’d finally be able to gather with her brothers and sisters, eat and drink God’s words, and do her duty. Mu Xi shared this news with her father, but to her surprise, her father suddenly became agitated, and he said, “How do you make me just watch you both walk out the door over and over again?” Seeing her father so emotional made Mu Xi feel distressed, and she felt deeply indebted to her father. She thought, “If I really do leave home, who knows when I’ll be back, will my father think that after all his hard work raising me, I have no filial piety at all?” Then Mu Xi thought about her father’s health and couldn’t bear to hurt him further. But she knew that without God’s protection and care, she wouldn’t have survived for over two years in prison, and that it would be unconscionable not to do the duty of a created being! Mu Xi felt very conflicted, and in the end, she gave up the opportunity to do her duty. The moment she made this choice, Mu Xi felt really guilty, so she quickly ate and drank God’s words to seek His intentions.

While seeking, Mu Xi read two passages of God’s words: “You do not need to overly analyze or investigate the matter of your parents falling seriously ill or meeting with some great misfortune, and you certainly should not put energy into it—doing so will be of no use. People being born, growing old, getting sick, dying, and encountering various great and small matters in life are very normal occurrences. If you are an adult, then you should have a mature way of thinking, and you should approach this matter calmly and correctly: ‘My parents are ill. Some people say that it’s because they missed me so much, is that possible? They definitely missed me—how could a person not miss their own child? I missed them too, so why didn’t I get sick?’ Does any person get sick because they miss their children? That’s not the case. So, what is going on when your parents encounter these significant matters? It can only be said that God has orchestrated this kind of matter in their lives. It has been orchestrated by God’s hand—you cannot focus on objective reasons and causes—your parents were supposed to encounter this matter when they reached this age, they were supposed to be struck with this illness. Could they have avoided it if you had been there? If God had not arranged for them to fall ill as part of their fates, then nothing would have happened to them, even if you hadn’t been with them. If they were destined to encounter this kind of great misfortune in their lives, what effect could you have had if you’d been by their side? They still wouldn’t have been able to avoid it, right? (Right.) … Your parents are adults; they have encountered this more than a few times in society. If God arranges an environment to rid them of this matter, then, sooner or later, it will vanish completely. If this matter is a life hurdle for them, and they must experience it, then it is up to God how long they must experience it for. It is something that they must experience, and they cannot avoid it” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (17)). “No matter what you do, what you think, or what you plan, those things are not important. What is important is whether you can understand and truly believe that all created beings are in the hands of God. Some parents have that blessing and that destiny to be able to enjoy domestic bliss and the happiness of a large and prosperous family. This is God’s sovereignty, and a blessing God gives them. Some parents don’t have this destiny; God has not arranged this for them. They are not blessed to enjoy having a happy family, or to enjoy having their children stay by their side. This is God’s orchestration and people cannot force this” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Truth Reality?). Mu Xi considered God’s words and couldn’t help but fall into deep thought. Every time she thought about her father being home alone for all those years, and about how no one had been there to take care of him when he was sick, her heart would fill with a sense of guilt and indebtedness. She just wanted to care for her father and let him enjoy some comfort, but after reading God’s words, she finally understood that the suffering each person must endure in life, and what illnesses and calamities befall them are all predetermined by God, and no one can change that. Mu Xi remembered that when she learned in prison about her father’s rheumatism worsening, she was very worried about him. She was afraid and wondered how he’d get by if his condition worsened and no one took care of him. But she was trapped in prison and couldn’t take care of him, and all she could do at that time was pray to God more and entrust her father into God’s hands. After being released from prison, she learned that although her father’s condition was very serious, and there was no one to take care of him, his rheumatism had gradually improved. She realized that the condition of a person’s body and whether they are safe depends on God’s predetermination and sovereignty, and that submitting to God’s orchestrations and arrangements and entrusting her father to Him was the reasonable thing to do. Recognizing this, Mu Xi felt much more at ease in her heart, and she was no longer so worried or anxious.

Mu Xi wanted to go elsewhere to do her duties, but whenever she saw her father exhausted after a long day of work and remembered that he also had high blood pressure and felt dizzy all day, Mu Xi began to feel conflicted again, thinking, “My father has suffered so much to take care of me, should I stay home and take care of him a while longer?” But doing so would mean she couldn’t do her duty, and she felt guilty about that. Mu Xi often brought this matter to God in her prayers, asking God to give her the determination to practice the truth. Later on, Mu Xi read a passage of God’s words which gave her a correct path of practice to follow in her upcoming choices. Almighty God says: “Is showing filial piety toward one’s parents the truth? (No, it’s not.) Being filial to one’s parents is a correct and positive thing, but why do we say that it is not the truth? (Because people do not show filial piety to their parents with principles and they are not able to discern what kind of people their parents truly are.) How a person should treat their parents relates to the truth. If your parents believe in God and treat you well, should you be filial to them? (Yes.) How are you filial? You treat them differently from brothers and sisters. You do everything they say, and if they are old, you must stay by their side to care for them, which stops you from going out to perform your duty. Is it right to do this? (No.) What should you do at such times? This depends on the circumstances. If you are still able to look after them whilst performing your duty near your home, and your parents do not object to your faith in God, then you should fulfill your responsibility as a son or daughter and help your parents with some work. If they are ill, look after them; if something is troubling them, comfort them; if your financial circumstances allow, buy them the nutritional supplements that suit your budget. However, what should you choose to do if you are busy with your duty, there is no one to look after your parents, and they, too, believe in God? What truth should you practice? Since being filial to one’s parents is not the truth, but only a human responsibility and obligation, what then should you do if your obligation conflicts with your duty? (Prioritize my duty; put duty first.) An obligation is not necessarily one’s duty. Choosing to perform one’s duty is practicing the truth, whereas fulfilling an obligation is not. If you have this condition, you may fulfill this responsibility or obligation, but if the current environment does not allow it, what should you do? You should say, ‘I must do my duty—that is practicing the truth. Being filial to my parents is living by my conscience and it falls short of the practice of the truth.’ So, you should prioritize your duty and uphold it. … Which is the truth: being filial to one’s parents or performing one’s duty? Of course, performing one’s duty is the truth. Performing one’s duty in God’s house is not simply about fulfilling one’s obligation and doing what one is supposed to do. It is about performing the duty of a created being. Herein is God’s commission; it is your obligation, your responsibility. This is a true responsibility, which is to fulfill your responsibility and obligation before the Creator. This is the Creator’s requirement of people, and it is the great matter of life. But showing filial respect to one’s parents is merely the responsibility and obligation of a son or daughter. It is certainly not commissioned by God, and less still does it accord with God’s requirement. Therefore, between showing filial respect to one’s parents and performing one’s duty, there is no doubt that performing one’s duty, and that alone, is practicing the truth. Performing one’s duty as a created being is the truth, and it is a bounden duty” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Truth Reality?). Mu Xi understood from God’s words that being filial to one’s parents is a positive thing and a responsibility of a child, but this is merely what a person with normal humanity should do, and doesn’t mean one practices the truth. Only by doing the duty of a created being is one practicing the truth. When her duty didn’t conflict with her being filial to her parents, she should do her best to care for her father, chat more with him and help ease his worries, as this was her responsibility as a child. But when she needed to do her duty and couldn’t be by her father’s side to care for him, she had to entrust her father to God. As a created being, her responsibility and obligation was to do her duty and complete her mission. This was what it meant to practice the truth and this was what she had to do. Mu Xi then remembered the two and a half years she spent in prison. She met a sister during her suffering and helplessness there, and they had the opportunity to help and support each other, and fellowship God’s words together. It was through the enlightenment and guidance of God’s words that she gradually made it through. Mu Xi felt that God had cared for, protected, and treated her with so much grace, and that if she prioritized her fleshly emotions over her duty, that would be truly rebellious. Realizing this, Mu Xi prayed and entrusted all her worries and concerns to God. She finished the chores that needed to be done at home and then bought some nutritional supplements, medicines, and other necessities for her father. After that, Mu Xi talked with her father and went elsewhere to do her duty.

Later, Mu Xi heard the experiential testimonies of her brothers and sisters about how to treat one’s parents, and this prompted her to reflect. She thought about how her father had taken on both the roles of her mother and father in raising her since she was little, and how he had made great sacrifices for her. She felt that she owed him an immense debt of gratitude, and whenever she couldn’t be by her father’s side to care for him, she felt that she hadn’t fulfilled her responsibility as a child, and felt indebted to her father and guilty in her conscience. Now, her doing her duty away from her father often affected her state and constrained her as well, and she wanted to know how to resolve this issue. In her seeking and contemplation, she came across this passage of God’s words: “There is a saying in the world of nonbelievers: ‘Crows repay their mothers by feeding them, and lambs kneel to receive milk from their mothers.’ There’s also this saying: ‘An unfilial person is lower than a beast.’ How grandiose these sayings sound! Actually, the phenomena that the first saying mentions, crows repaying their mothers by feeding them, and lambs kneeling to receive milk from their mothers, really do exist, these are facts. However, they are simply phenomena within the animal world. They are merely a kind of law that God has established for various living creatures, and by which all kinds of living creatures, including humans, abide. The fact that all kinds of living creatures abide by this law further demonstrates that all living creatures are created by God. No living creature can break this law, and no living creature can transcend it. Even relatively ferocious carnivores like lions and tigers nurture their offspring and do not bite them before they reach adulthood. This is an animal instinct. No matter which species they are, whether they are ferocious or kind and gentle, all animals possess this instinct. All kinds of creatures, including humans, can only continue to multiply and survive by abiding by this instinct and this law. If they didn’t abide by this law, or didn’t have this law and this instinct, they wouldn’t be able to multiply and survive. The biological chain wouldn’t exist, and neither would this world. Isn’t that true? (Yes.) Crows repaying their mothers by feeding them, and lambs kneeling to receive milk from their mothers demonstrates precisely that the animal world abides by this kind of law. All kinds of living creatures have this instinct. Once offspring are born, they are cared for and nurtured by the females or males of the species until they become adults. All kinds of living creatures are able to fulfill their responsibilities and obligations to their offspring, conscientiously and dutifully raising the next generation. This should be even more the case for humans. Humans are called higher animals by mankind—if they cannot abide by this law, and lack this instinct, then humans are lower than animals, aren’t they? Therefore, no matter how much your parents nurtured you while they were raising you, and how much they fulfilled their responsibility to you, they were only doing what they ought to within the scope of the abilities of a created human—it was their instinct. … There are also some special animals, like tigers and lions. When these animals reach adulthood, they leave their parents, and some males even become rivals, biting, contending, and fighting as necessary. This is normal, it is a law. They are not governed by their feelings, and they do not live amid their feelings like people do, saying: ‘I have to repay their kindness, I have to recompense them—I have to obey my parents. If I don’t show filial piety to them, other people will condemn me, berate me, and criticize me behind my back. I couldn’t bear that!’ Such things are not said in the animal world. Why do people say such things? Because in society and within groups of people, there are various incorrect ideas and consensuses. After people have been influenced, corroded, and rotted by these things, different ways of interpreting and dealing with the parent-child relationship arise within them, and they ultimately treat their parents as their creditors—creditors that they will never be able to repay their whole lives. There are even some people who feel guilty for their whole lives after their parents die, and think themselves unworthy of their parents’ kindness, because of one thing they did that didn’t make their parents happy or didn’t go the way their parents wanted it to. Tell Me, is this not excessive? People live amid their feelings, so they can only be encroached upon and disturbed by various ideas stemming from these feelings. People live in an environment that is colored by the ideology of corrupt mankind, so they are encroached upon and disturbed by various fallacious ideas, which makes their lives exhausting and less simple than those of other living creatures. However, right now, because God is working, and because He is expressing the truth to tell people the truth of all these facts, and to enable them to understand the truth, after you come to understand the truth, these fallacious ideas and views will no longer burden you, and they will no longer serve as a guide for how you handle your relationship with your parents. At this point, your life will become more relaxed” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (17)). Mu Xi thought over God’s words and felt enlightened. It turns out that all kinds of creatures are able to attentively care for and responsibly nurture their offspring. This is a principle and law ordained by God for all living beings, and it is an instinct given to them by God. Just like the fierce tigers and lions, when their cubs are still immature and unable to survive by themselves, they carefully nurture and protect their cubs, search for food for them, and do their best to provide a safe and comfortable environment for their growth. If they don’t follow this survival principle, and don’t care for and raise their cubs after giving birth, then their next generation can’t survive, and the continuity of new life in the entire animal kingdom will fall apart. Humans are the same way. Before their children can survive independently, parents nurture and care for them with all their heart, even enduring much hardship to do so, but they are merely fulfilling their responsibility and obligation as parents, and they are just following the principles of survival ordained by God for all living things, and this doesn’t constitute kindness. Mu Xi also thought about how as children grew up, schools and families instilled the view that “An unfilial person is lower than a beast.” The implication of this was that since animals repay their parents after growing up, surely a human should be even more filial and repay their parents’ nurturing grace. If one can’t do this, then they are lacking in humanity and lack any sense of human feeling. Having been educated in this way since childhood, Mu Xi had always regarded her father’s responsibilities and obligations in raising her as kindness upon her, and she treated her father as if he were her creditor. Whenever she thought about not being able to repay her father’s nurturing grace, she felt guilty and accused in her heart, feeling that she lacked conscience. Even though she knew that her duty was the responsibility she should complete as a created being, she remained bound and constrained by fallacious viewpoints, and she found herself willing to cast aside the opportunity to do her duty and pursue the truth. In this, she was rebelling against and betraying God! Mu Xi saw how pathetic it was to have no correct perspective on matters, being completely unable to distinguish between that which is positive and that which is negative. Mu Xi realized that her life had been given by God, and that without God’s predestination and sovereignty, she wouldn’t even have been in this world, let alone have grown up safely, and the fact that she was born into her family with her father’s heartfelt care was also part of God’s sovereignty and arrangements. She should have been grateful for God’s grace rather than feeling indebted to any person. Upon realizing this, Mu Xi prayed to God, “God, I have been bound by fallacious traditional ideas all these years, and I always regarded my father’s responsibilities as kindness. This has led me to feel constrained and accused when I haven’t been able to care for him, and to ignore my duty. God, I don’t want to rebel against You anymore. I wish to repent to You.”

Mu Xi then read another passage of God’s words: “First of all, most people choose to leave home to perform their duties in part because of the overarching objective circumstances, which necessitate them leaving their parents; they cannot stay by their parents’ side to take care of them and accompany them. It’s not that they willingly choose to leave their parents; this is the objective reason. For another thing, subjectively speaking, you go out to perform your duties not because you wanted to leave your parents and escape your responsibilities, but because of God’s calling. In order to cooperate with God’s work, accept His calling, and perform the duties of a created being, you had no choice but to leave your parents; you could not stay by their side to accompany them and take care of them. You didn’t leave them to avoid responsibilities, right? Leaving them to avoid your responsibilities and having to leave them to answer God’s calling and perform your duties—aren’t these of two different natures? (Yes.) In your heart, you do have emotional attachments and thoughts for your parents; your feelings are not empty. If objective circumstances allow, and you are able to stay by their side while also performing your duties, then you would be willing to stay by their side, regularly taking care of them and fulfilling your responsibilities. But because of objective circumstances, you must leave them; you cannot remain at their side. It’s not that you don’t want to fulfill your responsibilities as their child, but that you can’t. Isn’t this different in nature? (Yes.) If you left home to avoid being filial and fulfilling your responsibilities, that is unfilial and lacks humanity. Your parents raised you, but you can’t wait to spread your wings and quickly go off on your own. You don’t want to see your parents, and you don’t pay any regard when you hear about some difficulty they’ve encountered. Even if you have the means to help, you don’t; you just pretend not to hear and let others say whatever they want about you—you simply don’t want to fulfill your responsibilities. This is being unfilial. But is this the case now? (No.) Many people have left their counties, cities, provinces, or even their countries to perform their duties; they are already far away from their hometowns. Furthermore, it’s not convenient for them to stay in touch with their families for various reasons. Occasionally, they inquire about their parents’ current situation from people who came from the same hometown and feel relieved when they hear that their parents are still healthy and getting by okay. In fact, you are not unfilial; you haven’t reached the point of lacking humanity, where you don’t even want to care about your parents or fulfill your responsibilities toward them. It’s because of various objective reasons that you have to make this choice, so you’re not unfilial. … So, overall, people have an awareness in their conscience of the responsibilities they fulfill toward their parents. Regardless of the attitude toward one’s parents this awareness brings, whether it’s concern or choosing to be present by their side, in any case, people should not feel guilty or have a burdened conscience because they could not fulfill their responsibilities toward their parents due to being affected by objective circumstances. These issues, and others like them, should not become troubles in people’s life of belief in God; they should be let go. When it comes to these topics related to fulfilling responsibilities toward one’s parents, people should have these accurate understandings and should no longer feel constrained” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (16)). From God’s words, Mu Xi understood that her not being able to be home to care for her father wasn’t unfilial, because it wasn’t that she didn’t want to fulfill her responsibilities to care for and stay with her father, but rather because the CCP’s persecution and arrest forced her to be away from her family. Additionally, as a created being, she had to do her duty as a created being and complete her responsibilities and obligations. Mu Xi thought of the saints throughout the ages, who left behind their parents and families to travel, propagate, and work in order to testify to and preach the gospel of the Lord Jesus, ultimately allowing them to propagate the gospel of the Lord Jesus to all corners of the world, enabling many people to receive the Lord’s salvation. Their sacrifices and expenditures were acts of goodness and also the most just cause. Now is a crucial time for the spreading of the kingdom gospel, and there are many people longing for God’s appearance who live in darkness and haven’t heard God’s voice, and Mu Xi knew that she should contribute to the work of spreading the gospel. Realizing this, Mu Xi felt much more liberated and at ease, no longer lived feeling indebted to her father, and devoted her heart to her duty even more.