By Shen Yu, China

In April 2023, because I had some strengths in making videos, the leader arranged for me to review the videos made by everyone. I was really happy to be able to do this duty, and I wanted to cherish the opportunity and do my duty well. At first, I actively studied the principles and was able to identify some problems when reviewing the videos. But after a while, I found that the sister I worked with had good caliber and insight, and could quickly spot problems in a video, while I took a long time to find few problems and was much worse than her. I felt kind of embarrassed. Later, I reviewed relevant principles, but after some time, there was still little improvement. I became very despondent, thinking, “It seems I really lack the caliber to do this duty, why hasn’t God given me good caliber? Without good caliber, how can I do this duty well? If I am dismissed or reassigned, wouldn’t that be really embarrassing?” I knew I shouldn’t make demands of or complain to God, but I still felt very despondent, lacked motivation to do my duty, and didn’t aspire to improve. Especially when dealing with some complex videos, I worried that I couldn’t spot the issues accurately, so I would pass them on to others to review. Sometimes, my partnered sister would still find some issues when reviewing the videos I had checked, and she would have to fellowship with me, which made me feel even more that I was lacking in caliber, dragging down the work progress, and that sooner or later, I would be dismissed or reassigned. I felt it would be better to resign voluntarily to appear reasonable. When these thoughts arose, I felt very conflicted, and I knew that thinking this was evading my duty, but I didn’t know how to practice appropriately, so I came before God to pray, “God, I feel that my caliber is poor and that I can’t do this duty well, and want to evade it. I also know that this is not in accordance with Your intentions. I ask You to enlighten and guide me to recognize my problems and find a path to practice.”

Afterward, I read a passage of God’s words: “Some people feel that their caliber is too low and that they lack the comprehension ability, so they delimit themselves, and they feel that no matter how much they pursue the truth, they will not be able to meet God’s requirements. They think that no matter how hard they try, it’s useless, and that’s all there is to it, so they are always negative, and as a result, even after years of believing in God, they haven’t gained any truth. Without doing the hard work to pursue the truth, you say that your caliber is too poor, you give up on yourself, and you always live in a negative state. As a result, you don’t understand the truth that you should understand or practice the truth within your ability—aren’t you the one hindering yourself? If you always say that your caliber isn’t good enough, isn’t this evading and shirking responsibility? If you can suffer, pay a price, and gain the work of the Holy Spirit, then you will inevitably be able to understand some truths and enter into some realities. If you don’t look to or rely on God, and you give up on yourself without putting in any effort or paying a price, and simply surrender, then you are a good-for-nothing, and lack a shred of conscience and reason. No matter whether your caliber is poor or outstanding, if you have a bit of conscience and reason, you should properly complete what you ought to do and your mission; being a deserter is a terrible thing and a betrayal of God. This is irredeemable. Pursuing the truth requires a firm will, and people who are too negative or weak will accomplish nothing. They will not be able to believe in God until the end, and, if they wish to obtain the truth and achieve a change of disposition, they have less hope still. Only those who are resolved and pursue the truth can obtain it and be perfected by God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). God’s words made me feel guilty and distressed. Because of my poor caliber, I had determined that no matter how hard I tried, I could not do my duty well, and that compared to the sisters with good caliber, I would always be the worst one, so I lived in a negative state, and had no motivation to do my duty, no desire to improve, and even thought about resigning. By doing so, I thought I wouldn’t be dismissed or lose face. I thought about how I hadn’t made much effort and after not seeing much progress, I didn’t want to go on. I was such a good-for-nothing! A person who truly has conscience and reason would not become negative after accepting their duty, even if they feel their caliber doesn’t meet God’s requirements. They would instead pray, rely on God, and strive with all their might, and they wouldn’t give up their duty so easily. But looking at myself, when my caliber was inferior to that of the sister I worked with, and when some issues in my duty were pointed out, I became negative and slacked off, passed off complex videos to others for review, and couldn’t handle problems pointed out by others correctly, further delimiting myself for having poor caliber, and became negative and passive in my duty, unable to do even my original part. Facing these difficulties and problems, I didn’t think about how to seek the truth to resolve them, but instead used my poor caliber as an excuse to shirk my duty and in doing so, to save face. I had been so selfish! I had enjoyed all that God provided but couldn’t do my duty. I truly lacked conscience and reason! I thought of a passage from God’s words: “If you do not take God’s commissions seriously, then you are betraying Him in the most grievous way. In this, you are more lamentable than Judas, and should be cursed” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Know Man’s Nature). A duty is a commission from God. The opportunity to do my duty given by God is to allow me to gain more practice and to advance in various aspects of the truth. This is God’s grace, but I failed to appreciate this good thing, and because of my poor caliber, I wanted to give up my duty. Such behavior was a betrayal of God! Realizing this, I felt distressed and guilty, and I didn’t want to treat my duty this way any longer. I wanted to strive with all my effort and no longer be a deserter.

Later, I read another passage of God’s words: “God will not hold you in high esteem because of your good caliber, nor will He disdain or detest you for your poor caliber. What is it that God detests? What God detests is people not loving or accepting the truth, people understanding the truth but not practicing it, people not doing what they are capable of doing, people not being able to give their all in their duties yet always having extravagant desires, always wanting status, vying for position, and always making demands of Him. This is what God finds disgusting and detestable. You have poor caliber or no caliber to begin with, being unable to do any work, and yet you still always want to be a leader; you always vie for position and power, and always want God to give you a definitive answer, telling you that in the future you can enter the kingdom, receive blessings, and have a good destination. God choosing you is already an immense elevation, yet you still want a mile when given an inch. God has given you what you should receive, and you have already gained much from God, yet you still make unreasonable demands. This is what God detests. Your caliber is very poor, or, you do not even reach human intelligence, yet God has not treated you like an animal but still treats you as a human being. Therefore, you should do what a human ought to do, say what a human ought to say, and accept everything God has given you as coming from Him. Whatever duty you can do, do it. Do not let God down. Do not want a mile when given an inch because God treats you as a human being, saying, ‘Since God treats me as a human, then He should give me better caliber, let me be a team leader, a supervisor, or a church leader. It would be best if He made it so I didn’t have to do any tiring work, so God’s house would provide for me for free, and so I wouldn’t need to exert effort or endure hardship, allowing me to do what I want.’ These are all unreasonable demands. These are not the manifestations or the requests that a created being ought to have or put forth. God has not treated you according to your poor caliber but has instead chosen you and given you the opportunity to do your duty. This is God’s elevation. You should not want a mile when given an inch and make unreasonable demands of God. Instead, you should thank God, fulfill your duty, and repay God’s love. This is God’s requirement of you. Your caliber is poor, but God has not made requirements of you according to the standards for those with good caliber. You lack caliber and intelligence, but God has not required that you achieve the standards that people with good caliber can reach. Whatever you are able to do, just do that. God does not force fish to live on land. It is just that you yourself always have extravagant desires, and are always unwilling to be an ordinary person, an average person with poor caliber; it’s that you do not want to do these laborious tasks that don’t put you in the spotlight, and in doing your duty, you always dislike hardship and shy from exhaustion, picking and choosing what to do; you are always willful and always have your own plans and preferences—it is not that God has wronged you. So, how should people correctly approach their own caliber? For one thing, whatever caliber God gives you, you should accept it from God and submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements. This is the most basic thought and viewpoint that people should possess. This viewpoint is correct, and it holds up in any situation. It is the truth principle that remains constant no matter how things change” (The Word, Vol. 7. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (7)). After reading God’s words, I felt ashamed and guilty. God doesn’t impose excessive burdens on people, and God’s requirements are always within human reach. God hopes that we can submit to His sovereignty and arrangements and do our duties steadily and dutifully. But I did not understand God’s intentions and was unwilling to submit to His sovereignty and arrangements. When I saw that my caliber was not as good as others’, I became negative and slacked off, and complained that God hadn’t given me good caliber. Later, I wanted to work hard to improve my technical capabilities, but when I couldn’t do it, I became negative, harbored misunderstanding, and evaded my duty. This was truly rebellious! My caliber was somewhat inferior, and my efficiency was not as high as other brothers’ and sisters’, but the church still gave me opportunities to practice, and the brothers and sisters did not look down on me but encouraged and helped me. But I was utterly unable to recognize this as a good thing, and for the sake of my pride, I even wanted to abandon my duty. This was truly selfish and despicable! The truth is, God values the heart of a person, and even if their caliber is somewhat lacking, as long as their heart strives to meet God’s requirements, God will enlighten and guide them, and they can still achieve some results in their duties. Just like when I first started reviewing videos, by praying and relying on God, and cooperating as best I could, I was able to accomplish some work. Later, because I was too concerned with my pride, my heart was not focused on my duty, and I could not gain the work of the Holy Spirit, so everything I did became difficult and strenuous. So I repented to God, wishing to submit to His orchestrations and arrangements and to do as much as I could to the best of my ability, and to no longer think about shirking my duty.

Later, I also wondered, “Why did I become negative and shrink back when I saw my caliber was inferior to that of my partnered sister? What is the root of this problem?” In my seeking, I read these words of God: “Instead of searching for the truth, most people have their own petty agendas. Their own interests, face, and the place or standing they hold in other people’s minds are of great importance to them. These are the only things they cherish. They cling to these things with an iron grip and regard them as their very lives. And how they are viewed or treated by God is of secondary importance; for the moment, they ignore that; for the moment, they only consider whether they are the boss of the group, whether other people look up to them, and whether their words carry weight. Their first concern is with occupying that position. When they are in a group, almost all people look for this kind of standing, these kinds of opportunities. When they’re highly talented, of course they want to be top dog; if they are of middling ability, they’ll still want to hold a higher position in the group; and if they hold a low position in the group, being of average caliber and abilities, they, too, will want others to look up to them, they won’t want others to look down on them. These people’s face and dignity are where they draw the line: They have to hold on to these things. They could have no integrity, and be possessed of neither God’s approval nor acceptance, but they absolutely cannot lose the respect, status, or esteem they have strived for among others—which is the disposition of Satan” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). After reading God’s words, I understood that when I saw that my caliber was inferior to that of my partnered sister, I became negative, and that the root of the problem was that I valued my pride and status too much. When I saw that other brothers and sisters had good caliber and were efficient in their duties, I felt envious and wanted to improve my work efficiency. But despite my efforts, I was still inferior to others, and when my pride and status weren’t satisfied, I became negative and passive and even thought of quitting and betraying God. I placed more importance on pride and status than on my duty. I saw that the satanic poison of “People need their pride just as a tree needs its bark” had become deeply rooted in me, making me constantly obsess over how others saw me without considering God’s intentions or requirements at all, and without protecting the church’s work at all. I realized that there was God’s painstaking intention in allowing me to do this duty. God knows my deficiencies, my focus on pride and status, and that I need such environments to be purified and changed. When God arranged for me to cooperate with sisters of good caliber, I couldn’t show off and so my pride and status were not satisfied, which brought me inner pain and torment, and forced me to come before God and reflect on myself, understand the harm and consequences of pursuing reputation and status, and thus abandon my erroneous pursuits and correct my attitude toward my duty. At the same time, by cooperating with sisters of good caliber and receiving everyone’s help in my duty, I also gained a better understanding of principles, which just so happened to make up for my deficiencies. This was God’s love! Reflecting on this, I felt very remorseful, and no longer wanted to live for the worthless pursuit of pride.

I then came across another passage of God’s words, which gave me a deeper understanding of God’s intentions. Almighty God says: “God does not give people excessively good caliber. For one thing, this is so that people can, with this basic condition, remain a bit grounded, and that on the basis of feeling they are ordinary, average people, people with corrupt dispositions, they can willingly accept God’s work and God’s salvation. Only in this way do people have the basic condition to accept God’s words. For another thing, if people have very good caliber or exceptionally quick minds, with very strong abilities in all aspects, are all exceptional, having everything go smoothly for them in the world—making lots of money in business, having especially smooth political careers, operating effortlessly in all situations, feeling like a fish in water—then such people are not easily able to come before God and accept God’s salvation, right? (Right.) Most of those whom God saves do not hold high positions in the world or among people in society. Because their caliber and abilities are average or even poor, and they struggle to find popularity or success in the world, always feeling that the world is bleak and unfair, they have a need for faith, and ultimately, they come before God and enter into God’s house. This is a basic condition God gives people in choosing them. Only with this need can you have the desire to accept God’s salvation. If your conditions in all aspects are very good and suitable for striving in the world, and you are always wanting to make a name for yourself, then you would not have the desire to accept God’s salvation, nor would you even have the opportunity to receive God’s salvation” (The Word, Vol. 7. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (7)). After reading God’s words, my heart was illuminated. The fact that God did not give me good caliber was part of His goodwill, and it contained His careful painstaking intentions. Reflecting on the antichrists expelled by the church, I saw that some of them had good caliber and intelligence, but their hearts were not focused on doing their duties, but on the pursuit of reputation and status. Because they did not follow the right path, their actions disrupted and disturbed the work of God’s house, and despite repeated fellowship, they still refused to repent and were eventually expelled. I thought about my focus on reputation and status, and how superficial I was even without good caliber, and that if I had good caliber, I might have become extremely arrogant, and would have certainly already walked the path of an antichrist. Thinking about it now, God not giving me good caliber was indeed a form of protection for me!

Through seeking, I discovered that I had a fallacious viewpoint, believing that in order to achieve results in my duty, I had to have good caliber, and if I lacked this, I couldn’t do my duty well. I read a passage of God’s words regarding this issue: “People do not understand why God gives them such thoroughly average caliber. It is hard to find leaders with good caliber, and it is extremely difficult to do church work well. People think, ‘If God gave people good caliber, wouldn’t it be easier to find leaders? Wouldn’t church work be easier to do? Why doesn’t God give people good caliber?’ Looking at it from the perspective of the overall work of God’s house, of course, if there were more people with good caliber, church work would indeed be easier. However, there is a premise: In God’s house, God is doing His own work, and people do not play a decisive role. Therefore, whether people’s caliber is good, average, or poor does not determine the results of God’s work. The ultimate results to be achieved are accomplished by God. Everything is led by God, everything is the work of the Holy Spirit” (The Word, Vol. 7. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (7)). After reading God’s words, I understood that the key to achieving good results in our duties is obtaining the guidance and work of the Holy Spirit. Even for those with good caliber, if their intentions are wrong and they work only for fame, gain, or status, and they rely solely on their own caliber and gifts without God’s guidance and enlightenment, they cannot achieve good results. Those with average caliber, but who put their heart into their duty, and who pray, rely on God, and seek the truth principles when facing difficulties, are more likely to receive the work of the Holy Spirit and achieve good results in their duty. My viewpoint had been really absurd. I’d thought that doing a duty well and achieving results depended solely on human caliber, and denied that the work of the Holy Spirit determines everything. This is a viewpoint of disbelievers. In the world of nonbelievers, to achieve good results in a job, one must rely on one’s intellect, caliber, and gifts. But God’s house is completely different from the secular world. The work in God’s house is accomplished through the work of the Holy Spirit, and although human cooperation is needed in the course of the work, it does not play a decisive role. The spread of God’s gospel to various countries around the world is entirely led by God, one step at a time, with God performing His work, and people only cooperating. God knows exactly what I can do, the duty I can perform according to my caliber, and the results I can achieve in my duty, and so long as I am earnest and hardworking, God will enlighten and guide me. Moreover, I have sisters of good caliber around me with whom I can collaborate, and we can complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and in this way, I can achieve some results in my duty.

I also read a passage of God’s words, which gave me a path of practice. Almighty God says: “Many people think they are of poor caliber, and that they never fulfill their duty well or up to standard. They give their very best in what they do, but they can never grasp the principles, and still cannot produce very good results. Ultimately, all they can do is complain that they are too poor in caliber, and they become negative. So, is there no way forward when a person is of poor caliber? Being of poor caliber is not a fatal disease, and God never said He does not save people who are of poor caliber. As God said before, He is grieved by those who are honest but ignorant. What does it mean to be ignorant? Ignorance in many cases comes from being of poor caliber. When people are of poor caliber they have a shallow understanding of the truth. It is not specific or practical enough, and is often limited to a surface-level or literal understanding—it is limited to doctrine and regulations. That is why they cannot make sense of many problems, and can never grasp the principles while performing their duty, or do their duty well. Does God not want people of poor caliber then? (He does.) What path and direction does God point people toward? (That of being an honest person.) … How, then, should an honest person behave? They should submit to God’s arrangements, be loyal to the duty they are supposed to perform, and strive to satisfy God’s intentions. This manifests itself in several ways: One is accepting your duty with an honest heart, not considering your fleshly interests, not being half-hearted about it, and not plotting for your own benefit. Those are manifestations of honesty. Another is putting all your heart and strength into performing your duty well, doing things properly, and putting your heart and love into your duty to satisfy God. These are the manifestations an honest person should have while performing their duty” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). After reading God’s words, I felt brightened. My caliber is determined by God, and it is a fact that I have poor caliber. But God does not disdain me for my poor caliber. God hopes that I can approach my duty with an honest heart, set aside my pride, and do all that I can do well with all my heart and strength, seeking and practicing the truth in all matters. This is what I should do. The sisters had better caliber than I did, and they saw issues more comprehensively, so it was a good thing that they pointed out deviations and issues in my duty, as it could prompt me to reflect on myself and sum up my deviations, which would also complement my shortcomings. Afterward, I reviewed relevant principles based on my shortcomings, and gained a better understanding of these principles. God was truly showing me a special favor! I realized that although I have poor caliber, God still shows me such grace, allowing me to collaborate with sisters of good caliber and to be supplemented more. I had to approach my duty with a heart of gratitude, put more effort into understanding the truth principles, listen to others’ suggestions more, and do my duty well. I came before God to pray, “God, thank You for Your enlightenment and guidance that helped me understand Your intentions. I must work even harder due to my poor caliber, and seek to be an honest person and do my duty well with all my heart and strength!”

Afterward, I consciously prayed on this matter, and in my duty, I avoided comparing myself to others, and focused on doing things before God and accepting His scrutiny instead. When checking videos and encountering things I couldn’t see through, I actively sought help from the sisters, and put my heart into my duty with earnestness. When I practiced like this, I felt a sense of ease and liberation in my heart. Once, the team leader asked me to check a video with her, and I thought, “This sister has good caliber, and I don’t. What will she think of me if I can’t identify any issues?” I realized I was being constrained by my pride again, so I silently prayed to God, “God, please calm my heart so I am not constrained by my poor caliber and can bring out the best of what I can achieve. The sister has better caliber and can identify more issues, which will complement my shortcomings.” After praying, I calmed my heart and carefully watched the video. After watching the video, I talked about the issues I noticed and the areas where I was confused, and the sister also shared her views and opinions and fellowshipped her perspectives on the areas I was confused about. Through the sister’s fellowship, I saw that I was looking at issues from a broader perspective, while the sister noticed detailed issues, which just so happened to complement my shortcomings. Through our exchange, my confusion was resolved and I had a clearer understanding of the video’s issues. When I was not concerned with gains and losses in pride and devoted myself wholeheartedly to my duty, I felt very at ease, and it felt really good to do my duty this way!

Through this experience, I had the profound feeling that the key to doing duties well is to have an honest heart, to set aside personal interests and pride, not be constrained by poor caliber, and to put one’s heart into duties and contemplate how to do them well. In this way, it is easy to receive God’s guidance and enlightenment and achieve some results in one’s duty.