By Liu Xin, China

On July 23, 2023, after I had just finished watering some newcomers and returned home, the upper leader Li Qing came to me in a hurry, and said to me, “A lot of newcomers at Shu Guang Church have been arrested by the police, and they even got the church leaders and deacons. Many brothers and sisters from two nearby churches have also been arrested. Now, the newcomers urgently need watering and support, otherwise, it will be hard for them to stand firm in this terrible environment. Since you’ve watered them before, we want you to support these newcomers.” Hearing the leader say this, I realized this work was very important. But then I thought, “I just returned from Shu Guang Church two days ago, and so many brothers and sisters were arrested the next day. Besides, they all know me, so going to water the newcomers at this time would be extremely dangerous! There are surveillance cameras everywhere. What if somebody sells me out, and the police use the surveillance footage to capture me? I’ve already been arrested twice before, and if I’m arrested again, the police are almost certain to torture me to death. If I’m beaten to death, then my chance at salvation will be completely gone.” I felt somewhat timid, so, I thought of asking one of the previous waterers who had been dismissed to support these newcomers first. But this sister lacked a sense of burden in her duty and didn’t solve real problems, and I felt uneasy about having her go. As I fretted and wavered, I thought, “Aren’t the police also in God’s hands? Whether or not I will get arrested isn’t up to the police. If I am scared off before I even go to the church, in what way will I have any testimony?” I prayed to God to protect me and grant me faith and strength, and then I went to water the newcomers.

But a while later, I learned that several more newcomers had been arrested, and that the police were using surveillance photos of two other sisters and me to get newcomers to identify us. I became even more afraid, and thought, “I was arrested a few years ago, and the police of the National Security Brigade all know me. If I’m arrested again, they definitely won’t let me off.” Thinking about how some brothers and sisters had been brutally beaten to death by the police, and how I had already been tortured to the brink of death once before by the police, I wondered, “If I’m arrested and actually beaten to death, won’t my years of faith come to an end?” The more I thought about it, the more worried I became, and I couldn’t sleep at night. I just wanted the leader to find someone else to water the newcomers. However, most of the church leaders, workers, and waterers had been arrested by the police, so for the time being, there were no other suitable people available. Afterward, although I went on to water the newcomers, I lived in fear and trepidation, and I was just going through the motions in gatherings, and every time I read a bit of God’s words, I wanted to leave as soon as I could, fearing that the longer the gathering lasted, the more dangerous it would become. At that time, some newcomers were afraid of being arrested and their states were bad, and I would just talk briefly before hastily ending the gatherings. Later, thinking about how the issues of the newcomers had not been resolved, I felt guilty, fearing that the newcomers might become negative, weak, or be misled by the CCP’s baseless rumors and end up leaving. But I also thought about how although the police had gotten surveillance footage and photos of me, I hadn’t noticed any suspicious people following me, and so long as I paid attention to being safe and put on a disguise, I could still attend gatherings. If at this critical moment, I only considered my own safety, and disregarded whether the newcomers could stand firm, would I still have humanity? I read a passage of God’s words, which says: “Of everything that occurs in the universe, there is nothing in which I do not have the final say. Is there anything that is not in My hands?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God’s Words to the Entire Universe, Chapter 1). It was true, God is almighty, and no matter how evil and rampant the great red dragon is, it cannot transcend God’s sovereignty. Without God’s permission, the police couldn’t capture me. God’s words gave me faith and strength, so I continued to water the newcomers.

Later, due to the needs of the work, I went to the Xin Sheng Church to supervise watering work. But what I hadn’t expected was that shortly after I arrived at the Xin Sheng Church, the church leaders were arrested by the police. Seeing that the police were beginning to arrest people at this church as well, I was filled with trepidation and fear and didn’t want to go water the newcomers. But the newcomers at this church had just started to gather normally, and the church leaders were arrested. I couldn’t just look on as the newcomers were left without watering and their lives suffered. My heart was in turmoil, so I knelt before God and prayed, “Almighty God! Many newcomers need to be watered and supported, but I am afraid of being arrested and don’t have the courage to go. Please grant me faith and bravery.” After praying, I watched an experiential testimony video that moved me deeply. Although the sister felt weak and negative in the face of both the police persecution and the rampant epidemic, she was able to rely on God to see to the aftermath work in the church properly, and she safely relocated the books of God’s words. Seeing this sister able to uphold her duty in the midst of persecution and adversity, I felt very ashamed, especially as I became inspired by the words of God that appeared in the video. Almighty God says: “What I desire is your loyalty and submission now, your love and testimony now. Even if you do not know at this moment what testimony is or what love is, you should bring to Me your all, and turn over to Me the only treasures you have: your loyalty and submission. You should know that the testimony to My defeat of Satan lies within the loyalty and submission of man, as does the testimony to My complete conquest of man. The duty of your faith in Me is to bear witness to Me, to be loyal to Me and none other, and to be submissive to the end. Before I begin the next step of My work, how will you bear witness to Me? How will you be loyal and submissive to Me? Do you devote all your loyalty to your function, or will you simply give up? Would you rather submit to My every arrangement (even if it be death or destruction), or flee midway to avoid My chastisement? I chastise you so that you will bear witness to Me, and be loyal and submissive to Me. What’s more, the chastisement at present is to unfold the next step of My work and to allow the work to progress unimpeded. Hence, I exhort you to be wise and treat neither your life nor the significance of your existence as worthless sand. Can you know exactly what My work to come will be? Do you know how I will work in the days to come, and how My work will unfold? You should know the significance of your experience of My work, and furthermore, the significance of your faith in Me. … Therefore, I still must say to you: You ought to give your life to My work, and moreover, you ought to devote yourself to My glory. Long have I yearned for you to bear witness to Me, and even longer have I yearned for you to spread My gospel. You ought to understand what is in My heart” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. What Do You Know of Faith?). Having read God’s words, I was deeply moved, and especially when God said “Would you rather submit to My every arrangement (even if it be death or destruction), or flee midway to avoid My chastisement?” I felt particularly lacking in conscience and truly selfish and despicable! With the church subjected to the CCP’s rampant arrests and persecution, I clearly knew that these newcomers lacked the truth regarding visions, and that in the face of this awful environment and the CCP’s baseless rumors, it would be easy for them to become negative, weak, or misled, and even to retreat from faith. I had to shoulder the work of watering the newcomers, so that they could understand the truth and stand firm. But out of my fear of being arrested, I wanted to push away the work of watering the newcomers and run away at this critical moment, and after learning that the police had my photo in particular, I became even more fearful. I was afraid of being arrested and beaten to death by the police, and that I would have no good outcome and destination in the future. So even though I clearly knew that the newcomers had no one to support them, I still didn’t want to go water them. Although I went later, I was just being perfunctory and going through the motions, wanting to finish the gathering quickly and leave. Reflecting on my behavior, I realized I had no real faith in or submission to God, and that I was only concerned about my safety. I just wanted to abandon my duty and flee midway at the slightest whiff of danger. In what way did I have any faith in God? Where was my loyalty and submission? Where was my testimony? This was a manifestation of betraying God. I felt distressed and guilty, hating myself for being so selfish and despicable, and for having no loyalty at all! At the same time, I understood that in the face of arrests and persecution, I had to rely on God to stand firm in my testimony, surrender my heart, and submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements, and even if it meant sacrificing my life, I had to do my duty well. Realizing this, I felt a surge of strength and was no longer afraid of being arrested. I then quickly went to the newcomers, fellowshipped God’s words with them, and helped them understand God’s almightiness and wisdom so they could have the faith to experience this environment.

Afterward, I thought, “Why does hearing about brothers and sisters being arrested always make me afraid and want to protect myself? What is the root cause of this?” I looked for God’s words on this matter and read them. Almighty God says: “In mainland China, believing in God means living in a dangerous environment. Every person who follows God faces the daily risk of being arrested, sentenced, and subjected to cruel persecution by the great red dragon. Antichrists are no exception. While they may be classified as antichrists within the house of God, the great red dragon, in alliance with the religious community, constantly does its utmost to suppress and persecute the church of God and His chosen people, and of course, antichrists also find themselves in such an environment and are not exempt from the threat of arrest. Therefore, they must frequently encounter the issue of their own safety. This touches upon the question of how antichrists handle their own safety. For this subsection we are mainly fellowshipping about the attitude antichrists hold toward their own safety. Well, what is their attitude? (They do their utmost to protect their own safety.) Antichrists do their utmost to protect their safety. What they think to themselves is: ‘I absolutely must guarantee my safety. No matter who gets caught, it mustn’t be me.’ … If a place is safe, then antichrists will choose that place to work, and, indeed, they will seem very proactive and positive, showing off their great ‘sense of responsibility’ and ‘loyalty.’ If some work does entail risk and is liable to meet with incident, to get its doer found out by the great red dragon, they make their excuses and refuse it, and find a chance to flee from it. As soon as there is danger, or as soon as there is a hint of danger, they think of ways to extricate themselves and abandon their duty, without a care for the brothers and sisters. They care only about getting themselves out of danger. They may already be prepared at heart: As soon as danger appears, they drop the work they are doing at once, without a care for how the church’s work goes, or for what loss it may incur to the interests of God’s house, or for the safety of the brothers and sisters. What matters to them is fleeing. They even have an ‘ace up their sleeve,’ a plan to protect themselves: As soon as danger is upon them or they are arrested, they say everything they know, clearing themselves and absolving themselves of all responsibility to preserve their own safety. This is the plan they have at the ready. These people are unwilling to suffer persecution for believing in God; they are afraid of being arrested, tortured, and convicted. The fact is that they have long since succumbed to Satan in their hearts. They are terrified of the power of the satanic regime, and more afraid still of such things as torture and harsh interrogation befalling them. With antichrists, therefore, if all is smooth sailing, and there is no threat at all to their safety or issue with it, and no hazard is possible, they may offer up their zeal and ‘loyalty,’ and even their assets. But if circumstances are bad and they could be arrested at any time for believing in God and doing their duty, and if their belief in God may get them fired from their official position or abandoned by those close to them, then they will be exceptionally careful, neither preaching the gospel and testifying to God nor doing their duty. When there is a slight sign of trouble, they shrink back like a turtle hiding in its shell; when there is a slight sign of trouble, they wish immediately to return to the church their books of God’s words and anything related to belief in God, in order to keep themselves safe and unharmed. Are they not dangerous? If arrested, would they not become Judas? The antichrists are so dangerous that they may become Judas at any time; there is always the possibility that they will betray God. Furthermore, they are selfish and despicable to an extreme. This is determined by the antichrists’ nature essence” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Two)). God exposes that the nature of antichrists is particularly selfish and despicable. If it is safe and there is no danger in places where they do duties, antichrists are very proactive and appear to be very responsible, but once the environment becomes harsh, they only care about protecting themselves, and do not care at all about the church’s work or the safety of brothers and sisters. This was how I’d behaved. When the church wasn’t facing arrests, I was very energetic and proactive, and when things were busy, I would go water the newcomers even without eating. But when the church faced large-scale arrests and the leaders and waterers were all captured, and it was necessary for me to water the newcomers, I withdrew and shrank back, fearing that I would be arrested by the police and tortured to death, and be left with no good outcome or destination. So I didn’t want to go water the newcomers, and even though I clearly knew the waterer who had been dismissed was irresponsible, I still wanted to push the newcomers onto her and escape at this critical moment. I valued my own safety above all else, and did not care at all whether the church’s work was harmed or whether the newcomers would be able to stand firm. I saw that I was truly lacking in humanity and conscience, and that the disposition I revealed was just like that of an antichrist—overly selfish and despicable! If I didn’t repent and kept abandoning my duty and acting like a deserter at critical moments, I would ultimately be eliminated.

Later on, I read a passage of God’s words, and gained some understanding on the issue of fearing death and knew how to treat it. Almighty God says: “How did those disciples of the Lord Jesus die? Among the disciples, there were those who were stoned, dragged behind a horse, crucified upside down, dismembered by five horses—every sort of death befell them. What was the reason for their deaths? Were they lawfully executed for their crimes? No. They were condemned, beaten, scolded, and put to death because they spread the Lord’s gospel and were rejected by the people of the world—that is how they were martyred. Let us not speak of the final outcome of those martyrs, or of God’s definition of their conduct, but ask this: When they arrived at the end, did the ways that they met the end of their lives accord with human notions? (No, it did not.) From the perspective of human notions, they paid such a great price to spread the work of God, but were ultimately killed by Satan. This does not accord with human notions, but this is precisely what happened to them. It is what God allowed. … Actually, this was how their bodies died and passed away; this was their means of departure from the human world, yet that did not mean their outcome was the same. No matter what the means of their death and departure was nor how it happened, it was not how God defined the final outcomes of those lives, of those created beings. This is something you must see clearly. On the contrary, they used precisely those means to condemn this world and to testify to God’s deeds. These created beings used their most precious lives—they used the last moment of their lives to testify to God’s deeds, to testify to God’s great power, and to declare to Satan and the world that God’s deeds are right, that the Lord Jesus is God, that He is the Lord, and God’s incarnate flesh. Even down to the final moment of their lives, they never denied the name of the Lord Jesus. Was this not a form of judgment upon this world? They used their lives to proclaim to the world, to confirm to human beings that the Lord Jesus is the Lord, that the Lord Jesus is Christ, that He is God’s incarnate flesh, that the work of redemption He did for all humanity allows humanity to live on—this fact is forever unchanging. Those who were martyred for spreading the gospel of the Lord Jesus, to what extent did they perform their duty? Was it to the ultimate extent? How was the ultimate extent manifested? (They offered their lives.) That’s right, they paid the price with their lives. Family, wealth, and the material things of this life are all external things; the only thing that is related to the self is life. To every living person, life is the thing most worthy of being treasured, the most precious thing and, as it happens, these people were able to offer their most precious possession—life—as confirmation of and testimony to God’s love for mankind. Until the day they died, they did not deny God’s name, nor did they deny God’s work, and they used their last moments of life to testify to the existence of this fact—is this not the highest form of testimony? This is the best way of doing one’s duty; this is what it is to fulfill one’s responsibility. When Satan threatened and terrorized them, and, in the end, even when it made them pay the price of their lives, they did not abandon their responsibility. This is what it is to fulfill one’s duty to the utmost extent” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Spreading the Gospel Is the Duty to Which All Believers Are Honor-Bound). Reflecting on God’s words, I was deeply moved. I saw that throughout the ages, saints who propagated God’s gospel faced persecution from those in power. Some were dragged to death by horses, some were stoned to death, and others were nailed to crosses upside down, but in the face of the threat of death, they were not constrained by the influence of darkness, and they held to their duty until death, not denying God’s name or betraying Him, using their lives to bear a beautiful and resounding testimony for God. Their deaths were valuable and meaningful. Although to human eyes, they died physically, they were persecuted for righteousness, and God commends and remembers them. I thought about how I had been able to accept God’s work in the last days and do my duty as a created being, and that this was God’s grace. As a created being, I had to repay God’s love and do my duty well. If God allowed the police to arrest me, it would also be an opportunity for me to bear witness to God. Even if I were truly persecuted to death by the police, it would be with God’s permission. I had to stand firm in my testimony for God because my life was given by God, and whether I live or die, I should let God orchestrate me and submit to His sovereignty and arrangements. Conversely, if I cherished my life and protected myself, and at critical moments, I didn’t do my duty or support and water newcomers, then I would leave a transgression before God, and it would be too late for regret. Although my body might not die, God would see me as someone who had lost their testimony and betrayed Him, and I would live on like a walking corpse. Understanding this, my heart was no longer constrained by the fear of death.

One evening, I read another passage of God’s words, which says: “Satan has never dared to transgress the authority of God, and, moreover, has always carefully listened to and obeyed the orders and specific commands of God, never daring to defy them, and, of course, not daring to freely alter any of God’s orders. Such are the limits that God has set out for Satan, and so Satan has never dared to cross these limits. Is this not the might of God’s authority? Is this not a testimony to God’s authority? Satan has a much clearer grasp than mankind of how to behave toward God, and how to view God, and so, in the spiritual realm, Satan sees the status and authority of God very clearly, and has a deep appreciation of the might of God’s authority and the principles behind the exertion of His authority. It does not dare, at all, to overlook them, nor does it dare to violate them in any way, or do anything that transgresses the authority of God, and it does not dare to challenge God’s wrath in any way. Though it is evil and arrogant in nature, Satan has never dared to cross the boundaries and limits set out for it by God. For millions of years, it has strictly abided by these boundaries, has abided by every command and order given to it by God, and has never dared to overstep the mark. Though it is malicious, Satan is much wiser than corrupt mankind; it knows the identity of the Creator, and knows its own boundaries. From Satan’s ‘submissive’ actions it can be seen that the authority and power of God are heavenly edicts which cannot be transgressed by Satan, and that it is precisely because of the uniqueness and authority of God that all things change and propagate in an orderly way, that mankind can live and multiply within the course established by God, with no person or object capable of upsetting this order, and no person or object capable of changing this law—for they all come from the hands of the Creator, and from the ordination and authority of the Creator” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique I). From God’s words, I saw God’s authority and great power. All things and events are under God’s control, and no matter how rampant the great red dragon runs, it wouldn’t dare capture us at will without God’s permission because it cannot exceed the boundaries and limits set by God. This is God’s unique authority. I thought of how Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt, with the Red Sea in front and Pharaoh’s army behind. In man’s imagining, it seemed impossible for the Israelites to escape, but when the Israelites were in dire straits, God parted the Red Sea and turned it into dry land, and the Israelites safely crossed, while the whole Egyptian army was drowned. I saw God’s authority and great power, and I also saw that it was God who provided the Israelites with an escape route and that nothing is difficult for Him. In the face of persecution and adversity, God was also using the great red dragon as a service object to perfect my faith, and no matter how dangerous the situation, I had to rely on God and do my duty well.

Two months later, due to a Judas’ betrayal, the environment became increasingly dire, and nearly a hundred people were arrested. From those who had been arrested and then released, I learned that the police had asked about my whereabouts several times. I thought that with me being chosen as a church leader, if I were actually arrested, the police would certainly torture me. I wondered that if I couldn’t endure and was beaten to death, wouldn’t my years of faith in God come to an end? When I thought about this, I realized that I was still clinging to my life. So I prayed to God, asking Him to protect my heart. I recalled a movie called My Story, Our Story and quickly put it on. I saw that the brothers had been tortured by the police for passing on God’s words, but they chose to die rather than bow to Satan. Especially at the end, when they would rather die than sign the “Three Statements” and betray God, they bore a strong and resounding testimony. I was deeply inspired, and resolved that if one day I were actually arrested by the police, then like the brothers and sisters in the movie, I would refuse to compromise with Satan, even if it meant death, to bear a beautiful testimony to comfort God’s heart. After this, I actually fellowshipped the truth to the newcomers, helping them see through Satan’s schemes, and gradually, some newcomers were able to attend gatherings normally.

Experiencing the great red dragon’s arrests and persecution revealed my true stature, as well as my selfish and despicable satanic disposition. This allowed me to understand myself better, and I understood that arrests and persecution are permitted by God, and that God uses these things to perfect our faith and love. I know that I will undergo even greater persecution and adversity in the future, but I believe everything is in God’s hands, and no matter what happens, I will do my duty well as a created being and bear witness to God.