30. I Now Dare to Face My Problems

By Yuxun, China

One day in September 2023, I received a letter from the upper-level leaders, stating that the results of various items of our church’s work had been poor, and they asked about how we’d been following up on the work and about what problems we’d identified in areas like gospel work, cleansing work, and text-based work. They also asked how we had addressed these issues and what our plans were moving forward. Reading the questions in the letter, I thought, “I’m primarily responsible for following up on some of the work the leaders are asking about, but I’ve been living in a state of indulging in comfort. Whenever I think about doing detailed work or solving actual problems and about how this would require me to seek the truth and put in effort and consideration, and about all the brainpower this would take, I feel reluctant to expend the effort and energy to resolve these things. I’m just satisfied with following up on and spurring ahead the progress of various items of work and rarely follow up on detailed work. But if I say this in my feedback to the leaders and they see I have no understanding of such and such work I’m supervising, or that I haven’t implemented such and such task, what would they think of me? They would be sure to think I lack a sense of burden for my duties and that I’m not doing actual work, and they might even dismiss me. If the brothers and sisters found out, I’d be humiliated! No, I’ll just talk more about the work I do know about, so the leaders see that although the results of our work are poor, we have done some things. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about being dismissed.” But then I thought, “Some tasks were left undone, and that’s just what happened. If I just mention the good and never the bad, am I not being deceitful? No, I can’t do that.” I felt very conflicted, as if a heavy stone was pressing down on me. I asked myself, “How should I respond to this letter?” So I prayed to God, “God, the leaders have written to inquire about how my work is going. I haven’t done actual work and am worried that the leaders will dismiss me if they find out. I’m worried about my pride and status, and this is making me hesitant to tell the truth. I don’t know how I should practice. Please enlighten and guide me.”

The next morning, I recalled a passage of God’s fellowship about leaders supervising and following up on work, so I looked it up and read it. Almighty God says: “It is a wonderful thing if you can accept God’s house supervising, observing, and trying to understand you. It is of help to you in fulfilling your duty, in being able to do your duty in a way that is up to standard and to satisfy God’s intentions. It benefits and helps you, without any downside at all. Once you have understood this principle, should you not then no longer have any feelings of resistance or guardedness against the supervision of leaders, workers, and God’s chosen people? Even though sometimes someone tries to understand you, observes you, and supervises your work, this is not something to take personally. Why do I say this? Because the tasks that are now yours, the duty you perform, and any work that you do are not the private affairs or personal job of any one person; they touch on the work of God’s house and relate to one part of God’s work. Therefore, when anyone spends a little time supervising or observing you, or gets to understand you on a deep level, trying to have a heart-to-heart with you and find out what your state has been like during this time, and even sometimes when their attitude is a little harsher, and they prune, discipline, and reproach you a bit, this is all because they have a conscientious and responsible attitude toward the work of the house of God. You should not have any negative thoughts or emotions toward this(The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (7)). From God’s words, I understood that even though we do our duties, our corrupt dispositions haven’t changed. We often approach our duties perfunctorily, and do things according to our own will. It is the responsibility of the leaders to supervise and follow up on work, and to discover and resolve problems in a timely manner, and this is entirely for the purpose of protecting the work of the church. I had been perfunctory and inattentive in my duties. The leaders supervised and followed up on our work, and asked us to summarize our deviations and do our duties according to truth principles, which was beneficial for our duties. But I couldn’t treat this correctly and remained guarded. I thought that by looking into my work, the leaders aimed at finding my problems and dismissing me. To protect my pride and status, I resorted to cunning, only wanting to mention the work I had done and writing less about what I hadn’t done in an attempt to cover up the fact that I hadn’t done actual work. I was being truly deceitful! I couldn’t do this. I had to clarify which aspects of my responsibilities I currently had a handle on, and which I hadn’t come to grips with or followed up on. I needed to provide feedback to the leaders based on the actual situation, so that the leaders could provide fellowship and guidance related to our deviations. This would help me in my duties. So I reported the situation of our follow-up work honestly and I also explained our plans for the work that we hadn’t followed up on. Then, I focused on looking into and following up on the details of the work I hadn’t previously followed up on. Through communication, some brothers and sisters also reflected on their deviations and shortcomings in their duties and became willing to change and strive for entry. Through the leaders following up on and looking into the work, I discovered some of my own problems. I gained some direction and goals for my duties, and my efficiency in my duties improved.

Later, I read God’s words, and I gained some understanding regarding my fear of leaders supervising my work. Almighty God says: “If you are a leader or worker, are you afraid of the house of God making inquiries about and supervising your work? Are you afraid that the house of God will discover lapses and mistakes in your work and prune you? Are you afraid that after the Above gets to know your real caliber and stature, they will see you in a different light and not consider you for promotion? If you have these fears, this proves that your motivations are not for the sake of church work, you are working for the sake of reputation and status, which proves that you have the disposition of an antichrist. If you have the disposition of an antichrist, you are liable to walk the path of antichrists, and commit all the evil wrought by antichrists. If, in your heart, you have no fear of God’s house supervising your work, and you are able to provide real answers to the questions and inquiries of the Above, without hiding anything, and say as much as you know, then regardless of whether what you say is right or wrong, irrespective of the corruption you revealed—even if you revealed the disposition of an antichrist—you will absolutely not be defined as an antichrist. What’s key is whether you are able to know your own disposition of an antichrist, and whether you are able to seek the truth in order to solve this problem. If you are someone who accepts the truth, your antichrist’s disposition can be fixed. If you know full well that you have the disposition of an antichrist and yet do not seek the truth to resolve it, if you even try to conceal or lie about problems that occur and shirk responsibility, and if you do not accept the truth when subjected to pruning, then this is a serious problem, and you are no different from an antichrist. Knowing that you have the disposition of an antichrist, why do you not dare face it? Why can you not approach it frankly and say, ‘If the Above inquires about my work, I’ll say all I know, and even if the bad things I’ve done come to light, and the Above no longer makes use of me once they know, and I lose my status, I’ll still say clearly what I have to say’? Your fear of supervision of and inquiries after your work by God’s house proves that you treasure your status more than the truth. Is this not the disposition of an antichrist? To cherish status above all is the disposition of an antichrist(The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part Two)). God says that people are afraid of exposing their shortcomings and problems so they refuse to accept supervision from the Above, and for the sake of their reputation and status, they even conceal problems, cover up their shortcomings, and try to cheat God’s house. This reveals an antichrist disposition. From God’s words, I understood that my guardedness against the leaders’ supervision and following up on work was caused by my excessive concern for my reputation and status. I worried that if the leaders knew I hadn’t done actual work and lacked a sense of burden in my duties, they would dismiss me, and I was worried about what my brothers and sisters would think of me. To protect my reputation and status, I tried my best to cover up the fact that I hadn’t done actual work, and even considered using lies and deceit to cover this up, all to protect my image in the eyes of the leaders. I thought about how honest people could be simple and open, and about how they were able to truthfully express any deviations or shortcomings in their duties and accept the leaders’ supervision, and even if the leaders found out about their issues and pruned them, so long as the church work could progress smoothly, they had no problem with this. But I wasn’t thinking about the church’s work. I was only concerned with my reputation and status. I’d been truly selfish and despicable! I didn’t report my work honestly or speak the truth to the leaders, and even if I wasn’t dismissed for the time being and managed to deceive them, God scrutinizes people’s innermost hearts, and no one can deceive God, and the things people do in secret will inevitably be revealed at some point. Just like those antichrists who, to protect their reputation and status, report only the good news and never the bad, never mentioning the deviations and problems in their duties, and even lying and engaging in deceit, causing serious harm to the work. Eventually, they are revealed and eliminated. I had been living in a state of indulging in comfort, unwilling to suffer or pay a price in my duties, and merely doing things for appearances, which delayed the work. I should have reported the actual situation of my duties to the leaders, but to protect my status, I wanted to lie and deceive. I’d been truly deceitful! If I didn’t repent and change, I would ultimately be revealed and eliminated.

I then read another passage of God’s words: “Some people do not believe that God’s house can treat people fairly. They do not believe that God reigns in His house, and that the truth reigns there. They believe that no matter what duty a person performs, if a problem arises in it, God’s house will handle that person immediately, stripping them of their right to perform that duty, sending them away, or even clearing them out of the church. Is that really how things work? It certainly is not. God’s house treats every person according to the truth principles. God is righteous in His treatment of every person. He does not look only at how a person behaves in a single instance; He looks at a person’s nature essence, at their intentions, at their attitude, and He looks in particular at whether a person can reflect on themselves when they make a mistake, whether they are remorseful, and whether they can penetrate the essence of the problem based on His words, come to understand the truth, hate themselves, and truly repent. If someone lacks this correct attitude, and they are entirely adulterated by personal intentions, if they are filled with cunning schemes and revelations of corrupt dispositions, and when problems arise, they resort to pretense, sophistry, and self-justification, and stubbornly refuse to acknowledge their actions, then such a person cannot be saved. They don’t accept the truth at all and have been completely revealed. People who aren’t right, and who can’t accept the truth in the slightest, are disbelievers in essence and can only be eliminated. … Tell Me, if a person has made a mistake, but they are capable of true understanding and willing to repent, would God’s house not give them a chance? As God’s six-thousand-year management plan draws to a close, there are so many duties that need to be performed. But if you have no conscience or reason, and don’t attend to your proper work, if you have gained the opportunity to perform a duty but do not know to treasure it, do not pursue the truth in the least, letting the best time pass you by, then you will be revealed. If you are consistently perfunctory in performing your duty, and you do not submit at all when faced with being pruned, will God’s house still use you to perform a duty? In God’s house, it is the truth that reigns, not Satan. God has the final say over everything. It is He who is doing the work of saving man, it is He who holds sovereignty over everything. There is no need for you to analyze what is right and wrong, you just need to listen and submit. When faced with being pruned, you must accept the truth and be able to correct your mistakes. If you do, God’s house will not strip you of your right to perform a duty. If you are always afraid of being eliminated, always giving excuses, always justifying yourself, that is a problem. If you let others see that you do not accept the truth in the least, and that you are impervious to reason, you are in trouble. The church will be obliged to handle you. If you do not accept the truth at all in performing your duty and are always afraid of being revealed and eliminated, then this fear of yours is tainted with human intent and a corrupt satanic disposition, and with suspicion, guardedness, and misapprehension. None of these are attitudes that a person should have(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). From God’s words, I understood why I was afraid of being dismissed. It’s because I didn’t understand God’s righteous disposition. The house of God is ruled by truth. God doesn’t judge people based solely on their performance in one matter, but rather considers their consistent attitude toward the truth and the path they walk, and whether they have true repentance when they make mistakes. If a person can hate themselves and is willing to repent, then the house of God still gives opportunities to repent. I hadn’t done actual work and wanted to be cunning to cover my shortcomings, but when I was able to reflect on and know myself and was willing to change, the house of God still gave me a chance to repent, and the leaders didn’t say they would dismiss me. Conversely, if a person doesn’t pursue the truth at all, and causes disruption and disturbance without repenting, they will ultimately lose the opportunity to do their duties. Just like a brother I know. He did his duties perfunctorily, was negligent, and tended to perform his duties based on his own will. The leaders and workers fellowshipped and helped him many times, and though he promised well and said he was willing to repent, he continued doing his duties the same way, and in the end, he was dismissed. Some brothers and sisters may also have deviations while doing their duties, but when the leaders point out issues, they can accept them, seek the truth, and consciously make amends and resolve these issues. These people aren’t dismissed. I saw that making mistakes isn’t scary, but living in a corrupt disposition and not repenting is what’s truly frightening. I thought about how honest people are simple and open and accept the truth, and how they can submit to and learn lessons in the situations arranged by God and thereby make gains and grow. Then I looked at myself, and I saw that when faced with issues, I didn’t have a simple and submissive heart, but instead, I was filled with suspicions and doubts, and had my own crafty methods, and this made it very difficult for me to gain the truth.

Later, I sought to reflect on the issues I had in my duties during this time and I read a passage of God’s words: “One must learn to put their heart into their performance of their duty, and a person with a conscience can accomplish this. If one never puts their heart into the performance of their duty, that means they have no conscience, and those without a conscience cannot gain the truth. Why do I say they cannot gain the truth? They do not know how to pray to God and seek the Holy Spirit’s enlightenment, nor how to show consideration for God’s intentions, nor how to put their heart into contemplating God’s words, nor do they know how to seek the truth, how to seek to understand God’s requirements and His desires. This is what it is to not be able to seek the truth. Do you experience states where, no matter what happens, or what sort of duty you perform, you are able to frequently quiet yourself before God, and to put your heart into contemplating His words, and into seeking the truth, and into considering how you must perform that duty to accord with God’s intentions, and which truths you should possess in order to perform that duty satisfactorily? Are there many times in which you seek the truth in this way? (No.) Putting your heart into your duty and being able to take on responsibility require you to suffer and to pay a price—it is not enough simply to talk about these things. If you do not put your heart into your duty, always wanting to toil instead, then your duty will certainly not be done well. You will simply go through the motions and nothing more, and you will not know whether you have done your duty well or not. If you put your heart into it, you will gradually come to understand the truth; if you do not, then you will not. When you put your heart into performing your duty and pursuing the truth, you will gradually come to understand God’s intentions, to discover your own corruption and deficiencies, and to master all your various states. When your only focus is on exerting effort, and you do not put your heart into reflecting on yourself, you will be unable to discover the true states in your heart and the myriad reactions and the revelations of corruption that you have in different environments. If you do not know what the consequences will be when problems go unresolved, then you’re in a lot of trouble. This is why it’s no good to believe in God in a confused way. You must live before God at all times, in all places; whatever befalls you, you must always seek the truth, and while you do, you must also reflect on yourself and know what problems there are in your state, seeking the truth at once to resolve them. Only thus can you perform your duty well and avoid delaying the work. Not only will you be able to perform your duty well, what’s most important is that you will also have life entry and be able to resolve your corrupt dispositions. Only thus can you enter the truth reality(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only an Honest Person Can Live Out True Human Likeness). From God’s words, I understood that responsible people can put their heart into their duties and have a diligent, responsible attitude toward every task, whereas a person without a sense of responsibility does their duties half-heartedly, merely going through the motions. They are unwilling to suffer or pay a price in their duties, and in the end, not only do they fail to gain life entry, but they also delay the church’s work. My attitude toward my duties had been exactly as God exposed. I thought that solving the problems of my brothers and sisters would require deep consideration and seeking the truth to find a solution, which seemed like too much trouble and effort, so I didn’t want to pay a price, and I was just satisfied with superficially following up on the progress and doing some simple work, and when I encountered problems, I didn’t want to think them through or find solutions, nor did I summarize my deviations or shortcomings, which brought about delays in the work. I was living by the satanic poisons of “Life is short, so enjoy it while you can” and “Learn to be kind to yourself.” I regarded indulging in physical enjoyment as being of great importance, and in everything I did, I first considered whether it would cause me physical suffering or fatigue. I always approached my duties perfunctorily, without considering my responsibilities, obligations, or the church’s work, and every day I did my duties in a dazed and muddled way, failing to exert even the required effort, let alone sincere devotion. God knew my shortcomings and used the leaders’ supervision to reveal my corruption, prompting me to seek the truth to resolve my state of being perfunctory and indulging in comfort in my duties, so that I could be conscientious and focus on details in my duties. God’s painstaking intentions were in this, and this was His salvation for me.

Later, by reading God’s words, I came to understand a little more about the significance of the leaders’ supervising work. Almighty God says: “Those who are able to accept the supervision, examination, and inspection of others are the most reasonable of all, they have tolerance and normal humanity. When you discover you are doing something wrong or have the revelation of a corrupt disposition, if you are able to open up to and communicate with people, this will help those around you to keep an eye on you. It is certainly necessary to accept supervision, but the main thing is to pray to God and rely on Him, subjecting yourself to constant examination. Especially when you have gone the wrong way or done something wrong, or when you are about to act or decide something on your own, and someone nearby mentions it and alerts you, you need to accept that and hasten to reflect on yourself, and admit to your mistake, and correct it. This can keep you from setting foot on the path of antichrists. If there is someone helping and alerting you in this way, are you not being protected without knowing it? You are—that is your protection(The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. The Proper Fulfillment of Duty Requires Harmonious Cooperation). From God’s words, I came to understand that a person with normal humanity can accept the supervision and examination of others, and when they discover that they have made mistakes or revealed corruption in their duties, they can open their hearts and fellowship with everyone. In fact, being able to accept everyone’s supervision is beneficial for us in our duties, as it helps us avoid going down the wrong path and protects us. Before, I didn’t understand the significance of the leaders’ supervising work, and I was always living in a state of guardedness and misunderstanding, but now I am able to treat this correctly. Through the leaders’ supervising and following up on work, I gained some direction on how to make improvements in my duties, and I was able to consider the follow-up work more comprehensively as well as understand the difficulties and states of my brothers and sisters to fellowship solutions to real problems. By actually following up on the work like this, my efficiency in my duties improved, and I felt much more at ease. Now I no longer worry as much about the leaders supervising and following up on work as I did before, and for any work I haven’t done or any deviations I have in a certain item of work, I am able to report them honestly and treat them correctly. When the leaders point out my deviations and shortcomings in my duties, I first submit, acknowledge these things, accept them, and consciously try to make changes and fulfill my responsibilities. Ever since I began practicing like this, I feel much more at ease. Thank God!

Previous: 29. God’s Words Led Me to Let Go of My Misgivings

Next: 31. Reflections on Putting Up a Pretense

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