By Bai Lu, China

One day in mid-November 2023, I received a letter from the upper leadership, saying that the brothers and sisters had voted for me to be district leader and asked if I was willing to take on this duty. Faced with this unexpected duty, my heart suddenly began to churn, and I thought, “My caliber is average and I’m inarticulate. Although I have previously been a leader and worker, I’m somewhat lacking in fellowshipping the truth to solve problems, and I failed to dismiss false leaders in a timely manner when I was a preacher, which led to chaos in the church and left me with transgressions in my wake. Now I’ve been chosen as district leader. I know that this duty will require me to fellowship the truth to solve issues even more, and I’ll need to direct various items of work and have discernment about people. Can I handle this? If I don’t understand the truth principles, disrupt and disturb the work, and end up being dismissed, then not only would my true capabilities be revealed, but I’d also be leaving significant transgressions, and I might not have a good outcome or destination.” I kept wavering, wondering, “Should I accept this or not?” That night, I tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep. The thought of accepting this duty felt like a mountain pressing down on me, and I kept fearing that if I didn’t do this duty well, I would be revealed and dismissed. I came before God to pray, “God! I know that this duty is Your exaltation of me, and that I should submit unconditionally, but I keep considering my future and my future prospects and paths, and I can’t submit. Please enlighten me to understand Your intention.”

The next day during my devotionals, I read a passage of God’s words: “Today, what you are required to achieve are not additional demands, but the duty of man, and that which should be done by all people. If you are incapable of even doing your duty, or of doing it well, then are you not bringing trouble upon yourselves? Are you not courting death? How could you still expect to have a future and prospects? The work of God is done for the sake of mankind, and the cooperation of man is given for the sake of God’s management. After God has done all that He is supposed to do, man is required to be unstinting in his practice, and to cooperate with God. In the work of God, man should spare no effort, should offer up his loyalty, and should not indulge in numerous notions, or sit passively and await death. God can sacrifice Himself for man, so why can man not offer his loyalty to God? God is of one heart and mind toward man, so why can man not offer a little cooperation? God works for mankind, so why can man not perform some of his duty for the sake of God’s management? God’s work has come this far, yet still you see but do not act, you hear but do not move. Are not such people the objects of perdition? God has already devoted His all to man, so why, today, is man incapable of earnestly performing his duty? For God, His work is His first priority, and the work of His management is of the utmost importance. For man, putting God’s words into practice and fulfilling God’s requirements are his first priority. This you should all understand” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God’s Work and Man’s Practice). After reading God’s words, I understood that this duty was God’s exaltation and my responsibility that I cannot shirk. If I evaded or refused this duty to protect my future and destination, then I would lose the very significance of my being alive as a created being, and if that happened, then believing in God until the end would still not ultimately lead to His approval. I thought back on my time as a preacher, when I disrupted and disturbed the work and transgressed, yet God didn’t treat me according to my transgressions. Now the church was still giving me the opportunity to do my duty as a leader, so I couldn’t shirk it any longer. I thought, “I am somewhat lacking in fellowshipping the truth to solve problems. I’ll face all kinds of difficulties and problems in a leadership role, and thus I’ll have many opportunities to practice solving problems with the truth. Isn’t this a better way for me to train and make up for my shortcomings? Not only will it improve my professional skills in various tasks, but I’ll also make progress in discerning people. At the same time, it’ll also motivate me to focus on pursuing the truth in my duty to cast off my corrupt disposition. Isn’t this God favoring me?” I realized just how great God’s love is, and I knew that if I remained selfish and despicable, and tried to protect myself by refusing my duty, then I would be betraying God’s painstaking intentions. In doing this, I would be truly lacking in humanity!

I thought of a passage of God’s words: “There is no correlation between the duty of man and whether he receives blessings or suffers misfortune. Duty is what man ought to fulfill; it is his heaven-sent vocation, and should not depend on recompense, conditions, or reasons. Only then is he doing his duty. Receiving blessings refers to when someone is made perfect and enjoys God’s blessings after experiencing judgment. Suffering misfortune refers to when someone’s disposition does not change after they have experienced chastisement and judgment; they do not experience being made perfect but are punished. But regardless of whether they receive blessings or suffer misfortune, created beings should fulfill their duty, doing what they ought to do, and doing what they are able to do; this is the least that a person, a person who pursues God, should do. You should not do your duty only to receive blessings, and you should not refuse to act for fear of suffering misfortune. Let Me tell you this one thing: Man’s performance of his duty is what he ought to do, and if he is incapable of performing his duty, then this is his rebelliousness. It is through the process of doing his duty that man is gradually changed, and it is through this process that he demonstrates his loyalty. As such, the more you are able to do your duty, the more truth you shall receive, and the more real your expression shall become” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Difference Between the Ministry of God Incarnate and the Duty of Man). God’s words clearly tell us that no matter what a person’s duty is, it has no relation to their receiving blessings or misfortunes. As a created being, doing one’s duty is perfectly natural and justified, it is our responsibility as people, and people should unconditionally accept and obey. I mistakenly thought that leaders get revealed and eliminated quickly, but in reality, even if I didn’t become a leader, if I didn’t pursue the truth and walked the wrong path, wouldn’t I also end up being revealed and eliminated? God has long said that doing one’s duty has nothing to do with receiving blessings or misfortunes, and what matters is whether a person pursues and loves the truth. Now that the brothers and sisters had nominated me to be the district leader, I should first accept this and practice, and in regard to the problems and shortcomings in my duty, I could seek solutions together with my partnered sisters, and if there were still areas that lacked clarity, I could also seek guidance from the upper leadership. So, I replied that I was willing to do this duty. When I practiced like this, I felt steadfast and at peace in my heart.

One morning, I saw an experiential testimony video titled What Lies Behind Refusing to Be a Leader and there was a passage of God’s words in the video that really resonated with my state. Almighty God says: “When a simple adjustment is made to their duty, people should answer with an attitude of obedience, do as God’s house tells them to, and do what they are able, and, no matter what they do, do it as well as is within their power, with all their heart and all their strength. What God has done is not in error. Such a simple truth can be practiced by people with a little conscience and reason, but this is beyond the abilities of antichrists. When it comes to the adjustment of duties, antichrists will immediately offer arguments, sophistry, and defiance, and deep down they refuse to accept it. Just what is in their heart? Suspicion and doubt, they then probe others using all kinds of methods. … Why would they make a simple thing so complicated? There is only one reason: Antichrists never obey the arrangements of God’s house, and they always closely link their duty, fame, gain, and status with their hope of gaining blessings and their future destination, as if once their reputation and status are lost, they have no hope of gaining blessings and rewards, and this feels like losing their lives to them. They think, ‘I have to be careful, I mustn’t be careless! God’s house, the brothers and sisters, the leaders and workers, and even god can’t be relied upon. I can’t trust any of them. The person you can rely on most and who is most worthy of trust is yourself. If you’re not making plans for yourself, then who is going to care about you? Who is going to consider your future? Who is going to consider whether or not you’re going to receive blessings? Therefore, I have to make careful plans and calculations for my own sake. I can’t make mistakes or be even slightly careless, otherwise, what will I do if somebody tries to take advantage of me?’ Therefore, they guard themselves against the leaders and workers of God’s house, fearing that somebody will discern or see through them, and that they’ll then be dismissed and their dream of blessings will be spoiled. They think they must maintain their reputation and status in order for them to have hope of gaining blessings. An antichrist sees being blessed as greater than the heavens, greater than life, more important than pursuing the truth, dispositional change, or personal salvation, and more important than doing their duty well, and being a created being that is up to standard. They think that being a created being that is up to standard, doing their duty well and being saved are all paltry things that are hardly worth mentioning or remarking on, while gaining blessings is the only thing in their entire life that can never be forgotten. In whatever they encounter, no matter how great or small, they relate it to being blessed, and are incredibly cautious and attentive, and they always leave a way out for themselves” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Twelve: They Want to Withdraw When They Have No Status or No Hope of Gaining Blessings). From God’s words, I saw that when an antichrist is reassigned in their duty, they don’t consider how to submit to God and satisfy His intention, but rather first consider whether this duty benefits their reputation or status, or whether it will affect their outcome and destination. I saw that antichrists believe in God for the sake of blessings and gain, and that they view gaining blessings as more important than doing their duty well. I thought to myself, “Is my revelation not the same as that of an antichrist in regard to my being reassigned in my duty?” I should have been grateful for God’s exaltation in allowing me to train as a district leader, and I should have been doing my duty well to satisfy God. But I kept asking myself, “When I was a preacher, I transgressed because I didn’t promptly dismiss false leaders. If I become a district leader and have more responsibilities, won’t I be more likely to transgress and be revealed faster? If things go wrong, my hope for blessings in my faith will be shattered.” To protect my future and destination, I wanted to shirk this duty. This was a normal reassignment of my duty, but I mistakenly believed that God wanted to reveal and eliminate me through this duty. Was I not misunderstanding God? In the past, I thought my heart was pure in my faith, and no matter what duty the church arranged for me, I was able to submit, but that was only because it didn’t encroach on my interests. Now that I felt that this duty was encroaching on my future and destination, I wanted to refuse it. I saw that I was completely lacking in humanity, and that I was just a despicable and small-hearted person who sought only profit! In reality, I was dismissed from my role as a preacher not because of my position, but because I pursued reputation and status and didn’t do actual work. However, the house of God didn’t eliminate me for this, and instead gave me a chance to reflect and repent, continuing to arrange duties for me. I also thought of those antichrists expelled from the church, who hadn’t been revealed and eliminated simply because of their high positions, but because they only ever pursued reputation and status, formed cliques and stirred up jealousy and strife, thereby disrupting and disturbing the work. Even after they were given fellowship, they absolutely refused to repent, and only then were they finally eliminated. From this, I saw that if a person doesn’t pursue the truth, they will be revealed and eliminated no matter what duty they do.

I then asked myself, “What other incorrect views might be causing my reluctance to be a district leader?” I later realized that I felt that being a district leader meant being responsible for all work, and that I had to be able to guide the professional skills of various items of work and know how to discern people, otherwise, I wouldn’t be up to this duty. However, I lacked a lot in terms of technical skills. So I constantly wanted to evade this duty. Was this viewpoint in line with the truth? I recalled God’s words: “As a leader, after arranging the work, you must follow up on the work’s progress. Even if you aren’t familiar with that field of work—even if you lack any knowledge of it—you can find a way to do your work. You can find someone who truly grasps it, who understands the profession in question, to carry out vetting and make suggestions. From their suggestions you can identify the appropriate principles, and thus you will be able to follow up on the work” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (4)). God’s words provided me with a path of practice. Although I still lacked mastery in many technical areas of my role as a district leader, God has never said that one must understand every skill in order to do this duty. God’s intention was for me to focus on seeking the truth principles during actual training, to make up for my shortcomings, and gradually enter into the truth realities. I was lacking in terms of technical skills, so I should seek cooperation from brothers and sisters who understood these things, and together we would be able to seek the truth principles to resolve deviations and issues in our work, and if there were things I truly couldn’t understand, I could seek help from the upper leadership. If I truly did my best to cooperate, and in the end, I still found that my stature and caliber were indeed insufficient for this duty, then I could resign and ask the leaders to assign me a more suitable duty. Understanding God’s intention really brightened my heart, and I let go of my worries and misgivings.

In January 2024, the upper leadership learned that the results of the watering work I was supervising weren’t good, and that the waterers hadn’t made any progress and weren’t focusing on cultivating newcomers, so they wrote to ask if we were experiencing these problems and how we were following up on the watering work. I was startled and thought, “I am primarily responsible for the watering work, and I’ve been busy every day. How did I not notice all these problems in my work? It seems that my work capabilities are really lacking.” I became worried again, thinking, “If the waterers don’t water the newcomers well and they leave, will I not have transgressed? Wouldn’t that mean I won’t have a good outcome?” I realized that I was again considering my outcome and destination, and recalled some of God’s words: “You should each fulfill your own duty with open and honest hearts, and be willing to pay whatever price is necessary. As you have said, when the day comes, God will not be remiss toward anyone who has suffered or paid a price for Him. This kind of conviction is worth holding on to, and it is right that you should never forget it. Only in this way can I put My mind at ease about you. Otherwise, you will forever be people about whom I cannot put My mind at ease, and you will forever be the objects of My distaste. If all of you can follow your conscience and give your all for Me, sparing no effort for My work, and devoting the energy of a lifetime to My gospel work, then will My heart not often leap for joy on your account? This way, I will be able to put My mind entirely at ease regarding you, won’t I?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. On Destination). God’s intention is to perfect us so we can enter into all aspects of the truth as we do our duties. I reflected on my failure to do actual work. I didn’t address the deviations and problems in the watering work in a timely manner, which affected the effectiveness of the watering of newcomers. I had to quickly correct these deviations and resolve these issues. Only this was how I could truly fulfill my responsibilities. So I reported the deviations and problems in my work to the upper leadership honestly, and actually addressed the states of the waterers and the newcomers’ issues. The waterers also realized the importance of being equipped with the truth, and found a path to practice in their duties. I came to feel that if we can let go of our feelings of guardedness against God, not consider our futures and destinations, and devote our hearts to our duties, then in doing our duties, we will become able to see God’s guidance.