By Tian Tian, China

In April 2021, I was working as a supervisor of text-based work in the church. One day, I received a letter from the upper leadership, asking me to write an evaluation of Liu Li, a leader in the church. They needed it to be completed and submitted within three days. I couldn’t help but speculate, “Why has the upper leadership suddenly asked me to evaluate Liu Li? Is it because her work capabilities are poor, and they’re collecting evaluations to consider dismissing her? Or could it be that they see she has a sense of burden and does real work and they want to promote her? If Liu Li is promoted and I highlight her shortcomings, will the leadership say that I’m unfair in my treatment of people? Would they say everyone has shortcomings, and that describing someone with potential to be nurtured in such a negative light shows a lack of discernment? But if Liu Li is to be dismissed and I highlight her strengths, will the leadership say that I’m really lacking in caliber? Would they question how I, a supervisor of text-based work, who often fellowships with brothers and sisters about the principles of discerning people, but when evaluating someone, describes someone to be dismissed in such a positive light, showing a lack of discernment, could do such an important duty well with such caliber? If that were to happen, the leadership would definitely have a poor impression of me.” With this in mind, I reminded myself to handle this with caution, and that Liu Li’s evaluation had to be written accurately before I submitted it. Knowing that Wang Ying, Liu Li’s partner, would come to see me the next day, I was struck with an idea. I thought, “Why not start by trying to get some hints from Wang Ying and test the waters a bit to find out whether Liu Li is being promoted or dismissed. If I figure out what direction Liu Li’s headed for, it’ll be easier to write the evaluation. If she’s being promoted, I’ll emphasize her strengths, and if she’s being dismissed, I’ll highlight her shortcomings. I’ll write the evaluation according to the upper leadership’s intentions. This way, the leadership will be sure to say I have some discernment as a supervisor, and I won’t end up making a fool of myself.”

The next day, another church leader, Wang Ying, came to discuss work matters with me, but I wasn’t focused on reporting the work to her, instead, I kept wondering, “What can I say to get Wang Ying to tell me what’s going to happen to Liu Li, without her noticing?” As soon as Wang Ying finished speaking, I consciously began asking probing questions, “You’re the only one who has been coming to discuss work with us recently. Why hasn’t Liu Li been coming? Is she busy?” Wang Ying replied quietly, “She’s busy with other work.” I made a guess that Liu Li was maybe being dismissed, but I couldn’t be sure. I didn’t dare to ask directly, as I was worried that Wang Ying might say I wasn’t focused on my work, so I continued indirectly, inquiring, “You two are the only leaders around, so how do you manage the workload?” After asking, I closely observed Wang Ying’s every look and expression when she spoke, trying to find even the slightest clue that I could use to determine what was happening to Liu Li. But to my surprise, Wang Ying simply replied, “Work has been quite busy recently.” Her reply still didn’t provide me with any clear information, so I felt very anxious. What was I to do? I still didn’t know if Liu Li was being promoted or dismissed. The deadline for submitting the evaluation was approaching, but I couldn’t bring myself to write it, as I was unsure of how to do it properly. I thought, “How about I just write what I know, and then explain to the leadership that I’ve only met Liu Li a few times and don’t know her well, so my evaluation might not be accurate?” But then I reconsidered, “Will the upper leadership say that as a supervisor, if I was still unable to discern a person after meeting them several times, I had poor caliber and was unable to see through things? That would be so embarrassing! Forget it. I might as well just not write the evaluation, so that the upper leadership won’t see whether I lack discernment.” So, I didn’t write the evaluation. But when I thought about this matter later, I felt very guilty. I realized that God’s house requires us to evaluate people fairly and objectively, primarily to understand whether a person aligns with the principles for cultivation and selection, or to supervise and check if a person is performing actual work and is qualified for their job. Selecting the right person for a job is crucial, as it directly affects the effectiveness of the work and relates to the protection of the work of God’s house, and also writing the evaluation could grant me entry into the truth of being an honest person. So why was I so reluctant to put pen to paper? Why was I so troubled? I prayed to God, “God, the task of writing Liu Li’s evaluation made me feel so conflicted. I was hesitant and over-cautious about this matter, and I was afraid that if my discernment was lacking and the evaluation was inaccurate, the leadership would look down on me, so I was unwilling to write it. God, please guide me to recognize my corrupt disposition.”

During my devotionals, I read these words of God: “The antichrists are blind to God, He has no place in their hearts. When they encounter Christ, they treat Him no different from an ordinary person, constantly taking their cues from His expression and tone, changing their tune as befits the situation, never saying what’s really going on, never saying anything sincere, only speaking empty words and doctrine, trying to deceive and hoodwink the practical God standing before their eyes. They don’t have a God-fearing heart at all. They aren’t even capable of speaking to God from the heart, of saying anything real. They talk as a snake slithers, the course sinuous and indirect. The manner and direction of their words are like a melon vine climbing its way up a pole. For example, when you say someone is of good caliber and could be promoted, they immediately talk about how good they are, and what is manifested and revealed in them; and if you say someone is bad, they are quick to talk about how bad and evil they are, about how they cause disturbances and disruptions in the church. When you inquire about some actual situations, they have nothing to say; they prevaricate, waiting for you to make a conclusion, listening out for the meaning in your words, so as to align their words with your thoughts. Everything they say is pleasant-sounding words, flattery, and obsequiousness; not a sincere word comes out of their mouths. This is how they interact with people and how they treat God—they are just that deceitful. This is the disposition of an antichrist” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Ten: They Despise the Truth, Brazenly Flout Principles, and Ignore the Arrangements of God’s House (Part Two)). “Satan’s words have a certain characteristic: What Satan says leaves you scratching your head, unable to perceive the source of its words. Sometimes Satan has motives and speaks deliberately, and sometimes governed by its nature, such words emerge spontaneously, and come straight out of Satan’s mouth. Satan does not spend a long time weighing such words; rather, they are expressed without thinking. When God asked where it came from, Satan answered with a few ambiguous words. You feel very puzzled, never knowing exactly where Satan is from. Are there any among you who speak like this? What kind of way is this to speak? (It is ambiguous and does not give a certain answer.) What kind of words should we use to describe this way of speaking? It is diversionary and misguiding. Suppose someone does not want to let others know what they did yesterday. You ask them: ‘I saw you yesterday. Where were you going?’ They do not tell you directly where they went. Rather, they say: ‘What a day it was yesterday. It was so tiring!’ Did they answer your question? They did, but they did not give the answer you wanted. This is the ‘genius’ within the artifice of man’s speech. You can never discover what they mean, nor perceive the source or intention of their words. You do not know what they are trying to avoid because in their heart they have their own story—this is insidious. Are there any among you who also often speak in this way? (Yes.) What then is your purpose? Is it sometimes to protect your own interests, sometimes to maintain your own pride, position, and image, to protect the secrets of your private life? Whatever the purpose, it is inseparable from your interests, linked to your interests. Is this not the nature of man? All who have such a nature are closely related to Satan, if not its family. We can put it like this, can we not? Generally speaking, this manifestation is detestable and abhorrent” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique IV). God exposes that antichrists, in their dealings with God, always act deceitfully, taking their cues from His expression before deciding how to act. They don’t speak honestly before Christ, and they use human narrow-mindedness to deceive God. Their disposition is truly deceitful and wicked, and it makes God loathe them. On reflection, I realized I had behaved the same way. The upper leadership had asked me to write an evaluation of Liu Li, and regardless of whether Liu Li was being promoted or dismissed, I should have written my evaluation based on my understanding of her, objectively and factually, as this was for the purpose of upholding the church’s work. But instead of thinking about how to speak honestly, and how to write what I knew fairly and objectively, fulfilling my responsibility, I first speculated about what the evaluation request meant and how to write it to my advantage. I was afraid that if my evaluation was inaccurate, the upper leadership would see my shortcomings and think I lacked discernment, and they would have a poor impression of me. To protect my image and status in the leadership’s eyes, I wanted to figure out the leadership’s intent and take my cue from that. When Wang Ying came to look into my work, I wasn’t focused on giving a proper report, but instead, I was racking my brain, thinking about how to get Wang Ying to tell me what was happening with Liu Li. If Liu Li was being promoted, I would take my cue from that and flatter her, highlight her strengths, and downplay her shortcomings, but if Liu Li was being dismissed, I would emphasize her shortcomings. I thought that submitting such an evaluation would make the upper leadership think I was a supervisor with good caliber and that I viewed people accurately, and wasn’t so lacking. When I evaluated someone as good or bad it wasn’t based on facts and truth principles, but rather on whether the person was being promoted or dismissed. I was just moving whichever way the wind blew, making the evaluation neither objective nor truthful. Every person has both strengths and weaknesses, so I had to write evaluations fairly, objectively, and truthfully. If the person isn’t good and I write a positive evaluation, then I am engaging in deception, and if this misguides others and brings about adverse consequences and disrupts and disturbs the church’s work, then I am committing evil and opposing God. But if the person pursues the truth and I write a negative evaluation, then I am being unfair to them, harming them and denying them the opportunity to train. The leadership’s request for me to evaluate a person was because they wanted to look into this person and assess them comprehensively according to the evaluation of the majority, as this ensures accuracy and objectivity. Therefore, every evaluation is important. But I was driven by my corrupt disposition, trying to exaggerate or downplay a person’s strengths and weaknesses for the sake of my own benefit, which is something that is liable to mislead people and makes it difficult for the leadership to have an accurate and objective understanding of a person. I was unwittingly obstructing and disrupting God’s house’s work of selecting and cultivating people. I saw that my disposition is the same as that of an antichrist, and that I was trying to speak and listen for the sake of my own interest, attempting to read between the lines and going to great lengths to find information. I was so deceitful and living without any dignity or integrity. I thought of God’s words: “Honesty means giving your heart to God, being genuine with God in all things, being open with Him in all things, never hiding the facts, not trying to deceive those above and below you, and not doing things only to curry favor with God. In short, to be honest is to be pure in your actions and words, and to deceive neither God nor man” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Three Admonitions). God’s requirements for us aren’t high. He simply hopes that we speak and act with straightforwardness, calling a spade a spade, and be an honest person who is practical and open, avoiding lying, deceiving and concealing. I didn’t know Liu Li well and couldn’t discern her accurately, so I should have written my evaluation according to what I did know and spoken the truth. I just had to have no ulterior motives and not engage in deceit, and just be practical and fair in my treatment of others. But my intentions were improper, and I sought to use this evaluation to gain favor from the upper leadership, and so I tried to gauge their preferences and intentions, and decide how to write the evaluation based on their wishes. The leadership wanted to look into a person by asking for my evaluation, but they didn’t get a single honest word from me. Such an attitude was far from the practice of being an honest person! Realizing this, I felt disgusted by my deceitful disposition.

Later, I read these words of God: “And what is fearing God and shunning evil? When you give your appraisal of someone, for example—this relates to fearing God and shunning evil. How do you appraise them? (We must be honest, just, and fair, and our words must not be based on our feelings.) When you say exactly what you think, and exactly what you have seen, you are being honest. First of all, the practice of being honest aligns with following the way of God. This is what God teaches people; this is the way of God. What is the way of God? Fearing God and shunning evil. Is being honest not part of fearing God and shunning evil? And is it not following the way of God? (Yes, it is.) If you are not honest, then what you have seen and what you think is not the same as what comes out of your mouth. Someone asks you, ‘What is your opinion of that person? Is he responsible in the church’s work?’ and you reply, ‘He’s great. He is more responsible than I am, his caliber is better than mine, and his humanity is good, too. He is mature and stable.’ But is this what you are thinking in your heart? What you actually see is that although this person does have caliber, he is unreliable, rather deceitful, and very calculating. This is what you’re really thinking in your mind, but when the time comes to speak, it occurs to you that, ‘I can’t tell the truth. I mustn’t offend anyone,’ so you quickly say something else, and choose nice things to say about him, but nothing you say is what you really think; it is all lies and all fake. Does this indicate that you follow the way of God? No. You have taken the way of Satan, the way of demons. What is the way of God? It is the truth, it is the basis according to which people should comport themselves, and it is the way of fearing God and shunning evil. Although you are speaking to another person, God is also listening; He is watching your heart, and scrutinizing it. People listen to what you say, but God scrutinizes your heart. Are people capable of scrutinizing the hearts of man? At best, people can see that you are not telling the truth; they can see what’s on the surface, but only God can see into the depths of your heart. Only God can see what you are thinking, what you are planning, and what little schemes, treacherous ways, and active thoughts you have within your heart. When God sees that you are not telling the truth, what is His opinion and evaluation of you? That you have not followed God’s way in this matter because you did not tell the truth” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). From God’s words, it is clear that God likes honest people. Honest people have a God-fearing heart and honor Him as great no matter what they are faced with. I’d never thought that writing evaluations involves the truth of fearing God, so I didn’t take the evaluation seriously. Now, reflecting on the matter of evaluating Liu Li, I saw that Liu Li had some shortcomings and deficiencies in her duty, but also strengths, and if I couldn’t discern her accurately, I should report what I had observed directly, accept God’s scrutiny, and be honest and not deceitful. This was what it meant to speak the truth and be an honest person. But to protect my pride and status, I was afraid that if my evaluation was inaccurate, the upper leadership might see through me, and I was scared of losing face and being looked down on, so I resorted to trickery and didn’t speak the truth. I chose not to write the evaluation rather than risk losing my face. I was so deceitful and suspicious! I was unwilling to be honest and speak the truth, which showed I had no God-fearing heart at all! People who have a God-fearing heart are cautious and careful when evaluating others, and they can pragmatically express their understanding and views of a person. They can do so without personal motives and say as much as they know, neither exaggerating nor concealing things. This is the behavior of an honest person. However, when people who don’t have a God-fearing heart evaluate others, they don’t consider whether their words are based on facts or whether they offend God, and they just say whatever benefits them, and not a single truth leaves their mouth. Such people have such deceitful dispositions. This time, through writing the evaluation, I was revealed, and I saw that I couldn’t accept God’s scrutiny in my duty, that I lacked a God-fearing heart, and that I acted based on what was beneficial to myself, placing my own interests above the practice of the truth. This meant I was walking the path of opposing God. I didn’t expect that after believing in God for so many years, my satanic disposition remained unchanged, and that I could still be deceitful when it came to my interests. It would be so dangerous to carry on like this! In my heart I prayed to God to repent, asking God to guide me to a deeper understanding of my satanic disposition.

One day during my devotionals, I read these words of God: “The hardest to detect is wickedness, because it has become man’s nature and they start to glorify it, and even more wickedness will not seem wicked to them. So a wicked disposition is even harder to detect than an intransigent one. Some people say: ‘How can it not be easy to detect? People all have wicked lusts. Isn’t that wickedness?’ That is superficial. What is true wickedness? Which states are wicked when they manifest? Is it a wicked disposition when people use high-sounding statements to hide the wicked and shameful intents that lie in the depths of their hearts, and then make others believe that these statements are very good, aboveboard, and legitimate, and ultimately achieve their ulterior motives? Why is this called being wicked and not being deceitful? In terms of disposition and essence, deceitfulness is not quite as bad. Being wicked is more serious than being deceitful, it is a behavior that is more insidious and vile than deceitfulness, and it is difficult for the average person to see through it. For example, what kind of words did the serpent use to entice Eve? Specious words, that sound correct and seem to be said for your own good. You are not aware that there is anything wrong with these words or any malicious intent behind them, and at the same time, you are unable to let go of these suggestions made by Satan. This is temptation. When you are tempted and you listen to these kinds of words, you cannot help but be enticed and it is likely that you will fall into a trap, thereby achieving Satan’s goal. This is called wickedness. The serpent used this method to entice Eve. Is this a type of disposition? (It is.) Where does this type of disposition come from? It comes from the serpent, from Satan. This type of wicked disposition exists within man’s nature” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only Self-Knowledge Is of Aid in Pursuing the Truth). God exposes that when people interact with one another, they often use high-sounding statements and seem to engage in legitimate communication, but in reality, it is full of trickery. They use statements that seem good and correct to conceal their ulterior intentions and achieve their goals. This is a wicked disposition, and God detests and hates these people the most. At this point, I realized just how severe my wicked disposition was. When Wang Ying came to look into my work, under the pretext of concern for Liu Li I went out of my way to ask if Liu Li was busy with work, mentioning that I hadn’t seen her for a long time. This question seemed to be a legitimate concern for Liu Li, but in fact, I was trying to use it to extract the information I wanted from Wang Ying and get her to reveal what was to become of Liu Li. But when Wang Ying didn’t follow along with my questions, I changed my strategy, and began to inquire about information regarding Liu Li under the guise of caring about the church work. I saw that I was constantly scheming in my words and actions to achieve my objectives, setting a trap for Wang Ying without her knowing, going out of my way to use a seemingly normal conversation to induce her to say what I wanted, so that I could obtain the information I sought. I was maintaining a calm exterior and nothing seemed amiss, but inside I was scheming and plotting. I had no sincerity when speaking or interacting with others, and instead, I relied on my satanic disposition and schemed against and manipulated others. I saw that my nature was truly wicked! Just like the serpent tempting Eve to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, its words sounded correct, but they subtly and indirectly led people astray, and hid its true intentions. This is Satan’s wicked disposition. Wasn’t the nature of my words and actions just like that of the serpent? This was such a treacherous and cunning way to live! This was just a matter of writing an evaluation and didn’t involve major interests, but I was using such despicable and vile methods to be deceitful and cunning. If this disposition of mine went unchanged, then when it came to matters involving major interests, I’d be certain to deceive people and cheat God with my wicked and deceitful disposition, and I’d commit even greater evils that would offend God’s disposition. I saw how dangerous it was for me if my wicked and deceitful disposition went unchanged.

Later, I read these words of God: “My kingdom requires those who are honest, those who are not hypocritical or deceitful. Are not the sincere and honest people unpopular in the world? I am just the opposite. It is acceptable for the honest people to come to Me; I delight in this kind of person, and I also need this kind of person. This is precisely My righteousness” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 33). “During the period where one practices being an honest person, encountering many failures and moments where one’s corruption is revealed is inevitable. There may be times when one’s words and thoughts don’t align, or moments of pretense and deceit. However, regardless of what befalls you, if you want to tell the truth and be an honest person, you must be able to let go of your pride and vanity. When you don’t understand something, say that you don’t understand; when you are unclear about something, say you are unclear. Do not be afraid of others looking down on you or thinking less of you. By consistently speaking from the heart and telling the truth in this way, you will find joy, peace, and a sense of freedom and liberation in your heart, and vanity and pride will no longer constrain you. No matter who you interact with, if you can express what you truly think, open your heart to others, and not pretend to know things you don’t, then that is an honest attitude. Sometimes, people may look down on you and call you foolish because you always tell the truth. What should you do in such a situation? You should say, ‘Even if everyone calls me foolish, I resolve to be an honest person, and not a deceitful one. I will speak truthfully and according to the facts. Although I am filthy, corrupt, and worthless before God, I will still tell the truth without pretense or disguise.’ If you speak in this way, your heart will be steady and at peace. To be an honest person, you must let go of your vanity and pride, and in order to speak the truth and express your true feelings, you should not fear the ridicule and contempt of others. Even if others treat you like a fool, you should not argue or defend yourself. If you can practice the truth in this way, you can become an honest person” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only an Honest Person Can Live Out True Human Likeness). God makes it clear who He likes and who He hates. Only honest people are accepted and blessed by God. God is holy, and there is no dishonesty or deceit within Him. God’s words are always straightforward and clear. Just as God clearly instructed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, telling them which fruit from which tree they were allowed to eat and which would lead to death. God’s instructions were clear and without any concealment. God also requires us to be pure and honest people, as this is a true human likeness. Living in the world of Satan, people interact using lies, deceit, and tricks, always wearing masks, and living in an exhausting way. Eventually they will only end up being corrupted more and more deeply by Satan, and be met with God’s righteous punishment. I saw that some brothers and sisters around me were able to practice being honest people, that when they saw other people had problems, they could directly point it out to help them, and when they saw someone doing things that didn’t align with the truth, they could prune them openly, and could be sincere and offer mutual help and support. These people were pure, and felt liberated and free, and they were pursuing to be honest people and walking the path of salvation. I came to understand the meaning of being an honest person, and God’s words provided me with a path of practice. I couldn’t scheme or deceive for pride or status any longer. Such behavior was truly despicable! I had to meet the standard of an honest person as God requires, and truthfully write down what I knew about Liu Li. Even if it meant losing face if it wasn’t accurate, as long as I was honest and pleased God, then that would be enough.

Also, I had a fallacious viewpoint regarding writing evaluations, thinking that as a supervisor of text-based work, I should be able to discern people and write accurate evaluations to be considered competent, so I was reluctant to be honest for fear of not writing a decent review and losing face. Later, I read these words of God: “When someone is elected to be a leader by the brothers and sisters, or is promoted by the house of God to do a certain piece of work or perform a certain duty, this does not mean that they have a special status or position, or that the truths they understand are deeper and more numerous than those of other people—much less that this person is able to submit to God, and will not betray Him. Certainly, it does not mean, either, that they know God, and are someone who fears God. They have attained none of this, in fact. The promotion and cultivation is merely promotion and cultivation in the straightforward sense, and is not equivalent to them having been predestined and approved of by God. Their promotion and cultivation simply means they have been promoted, and await cultivation. And the ultimate outcome of this cultivation depends on whether this person pursues the truth, and on whether they are capable of choosing the path of pursuing the truth. Thus, when someone in the church is promoted and cultivated to be a leader, they are merely promoted and cultivated in the straightforward sense; it does not mean that they are already up to standard and competent as a leader, that they are already capable of undertaking leadership work, and can do real work—that is not the case. Most people cannot see through to these things, and based on their own imaginings they look up to those who have been promoted. This is a mistake. No matter how many years they have believed in God for, do those who are promoted really possess the truth reality? Not necessarily. Are they able to implement the work arrangements of the house of God? Not necessarily. Do they have a sense of responsibility? Are they loyal? Are they able to submit? When they encounter an issue, are they able to seek the truth? All of this is unknown” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (5)). From God’s words, I saw that in God’s house, whether one is a leader or a supervisor, it doesn’t mean that they understand all aspects of the truth, or that they possess all aspects of truth realities. The church arranging me to be a supervisor was just an opportunity for me to train, and it didn’t mean that I understood more truth than others or could discern various types of people. It became clear to me that there were many truths I didn’t understand, and that I needed to experience various environments to gain them. I realized that if I cherished this opportunity and sought more through prayer and acted according to the truth when encountering things, my life would grow quickly. However, I instead held myself in high regard in the position of a supervisor, thinking that as a supervisor I had to have discernment and write accurate evaluations. In order to gain praise and admiration from the upper leadership, I ended up engaging in deceit and crookedness to conceal myself, instead of seeing my lack of discernment and seeking more truth in this area. If I carried on in this way it wouldn’t just prevent me from understanding the truth but it would also make my disposition increasingly deceitful, and ultimately, I’d gain nothing. Realizing this, I became able to treat my shortcomings correctly.

Not long after, I received a letter from the upper leadership, asking me to write an evaluation of Sister Sun Lan. I thought to myself, “I’ve only met with Sun Lan for two days, so my understanding of her is limited. If the evaluation is inaccurate, will the leaders think I lack discernment and look down on me?” But then I thought, “I’ve heard that Sun Lan is worth cultivating, so perhaps I should highlight her strengths. With such an evaluation, the leaders will surely say that since I’m able to accurately assess a person after only two days, I have discernment. That’ll really make me look good.” At that moment, I realized that I was trying to engage in deceit again. God had orchestrated this environment to test whether I could be an honest person. Writing evaluations involves promoting or dismissing a person—it’s no trivial matter. I couldn’t choose how to write an evaluation based on my own interests. I then read these words of God: “When you speak, you go in so many circles, you expend so much thought, and live in such a tiring way, all to protect your own reputation and pride! Is God pleased by people who act this way? God detests deceitful people above all. If you want to be free of Satan’s influence and achieve salvation, then you must accept the truth. You must first start by becoming an honest person. Be frank, tell the truth, do not be constrained by your feelings, cast off your pretense and trickery, and speak and handle matters with principles—this is an easy and happy way to live, and you will be able to live before God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Practicing the Truth Can One Cast Off the Shackles of a Corrupt Disposition). I couldn’t cover up or disguise myself for the sake of my vanity and status any longer. I had to be an honest person and be pragmatic. I had to write what I knew, without caring about how others might perceive me. Comporting myself this way would make me feel at ease. So I wrote an objective and fair evaluation of Sun Lan and submitted it. I felt a great sense of relief and liberation in my heart. I no longer felt like I did before, when I was spending untold mental effort on deceit. After experiencing the sweetness of speaking truthfully and practicing the truth, I told myself that in the future, when confronted with matters that involved my pride, no matter how embarrassing things got, I had to be open and transparent. Thank God!