21. Reflections After Attacking and Excluding Someone
In May 2023, I was cooperating with Xin Jie, Jiang Yan, and Xiao Xin on text-based duties. Sister Xin Jie was a new arrival, but she was earnest when faced with matters, good at seeking the truth, and she brought up what she didn’t understand or differing viewpoints for fellowship. At first, I was able to fellowship with her with love and patience, but as time went by, Xin Jie often put forward viewpoints that differed from my own, which made me feel embarrassed, so inwardly, I started to resist and exclude her.
One time, we were analyzing a sermon together, and Xin Jie’s viewpoint was different from mine. I thought, “When we’ve been studying or reviewing sermons together, you’ve often put forward different viewpoints, but this time, I need to thoroughly fellowship my views with you.” So I elaborated on my viewpoint, but Xin Jie still disagreed. The other two sisters thought it over for a while and also thought Xin Jie’s points made sense and began to refute my viewpoint, which made me feel really embarrassed. I thought, “I’ve been doing my duty longer than you and understand more, and I’m also the team leader; it would be utterly humiliating if I can’t understand things better than a newcomer! It’s all Xin Jie causing me trouble here. This won’t do. I have to find a way to convince the other sisters, and get them to side with me.” But no matter how I fellowshipped about the matter, the sisters still didn’t agree with my viewpoint. I refused to let the matter go, thinking, “Xin Jie always disagrees with my views. This really undermines my image as a team leader. This can’t go on. I have to keep searching for relevant principles to make the sisters acknowledge that my viewpoint is correct and to save my face.” But even after fellowshipping for a long time, the sisters still didn’t agree with my viewpoint. Finally, Xin Jie suggested seeking advice from the supervisor, and I had to give up. Later, the supervisor said that Xin Jie’s viewpoint was more in line with the principles. This outcome made me feel even worse, and I thought, “This is terrible, not only have the sisters in the team accepted Xin Jie’s viewpoint, but even the supervisor agrees with her. I’ve become a team leader in name only, completely useless in this team.” My opinion of Xin Jie worsened, and when there were issues in the work, I’d go out of my way to communicate with only the other two sisters, and I stopped talking to Xin Jie.
A few days later, Xin Jie gave us a communication letter she had written for us to review. Xin Jie’s letter was pretty solid overall, and the two sisters I was cooperating with also gave their approval. I thought, “This won’t do, I need to scrutinize it closely and point out your shortcomings so the two sisters can see that you’re not all that great.” When I was reviewing the letter, I was particularly meticulous, and I recorded every issue I found, hammering away on the keyboard, as if venting my discontentment. The truth was, Xin Jie’s letter had indeed shown improvement, and though there were some minor issues, this was normal, and I should have patiently fellowshipped with her on how to revise and improve the letter. But in an attempt to salvage my pride, I went out of my way to pick at loose threads, saying to her in a harsh tone, “This part isn’t written appropriately, that part wasn’t integrated with the principles, this part isn’t testifying to God but yourself. You should revise it all over again in accordance with the principles.” After saying this, Xin Jie kept her head down and said nothing, and the atmosphere in the studio grew particularly repressive. After a while, I saw that Xin Jie still hadn’t started revising the letter, and I thought, “Why haven’t you started revising it yet? Are you not accepting my suggestions or something? No way! I need to tell you and humiliate you in front of everyone!” So I said to Xin Jie in a domineering tone, “Finish the revision by tonight and have it sent to the supervisor. Stop procrastinating!” Xin Jie found the revision pretty challenging, didn’t know how to proceed, and felt constrained by me. She didn’t dare to speak up about her difficulties and she looked really troubled. Then, it was only after Jiang Yan fellowshipped with Xin Jie that she finished revising the letter before it was sent out.
One day, I suddenly received a letter from Xin Jie. I opened it to find that Xin Jie was pointing out my behavior during this time, and dissected the nature of my actions in light of a passage where God exposes antichrists attacking and excluding others. In my mind, I kept trying to argue back and I just couldn’t accept it. I realized that my state was wrong and that I should start with acceptance and obedience. So I prayed to God, “God, since Xin Jie pointed out my problems, they must exist within me, but I am still unaware of them. Please enlighten and guide me to recognize my corrupt disposition.”
In my seeking, I came across a passage of God’s words: “What other manifestations are there of attacking and excluding people? (Belittling others.) Belittling others is one of the ways it is manifested; no matter how good a job you do, antichrists will still belittle you or condemn you, until you are negative and weak and cannot stand. Then they will be happy, and they will have accomplished their goal. Is condemnation a part of what it means to belittle others? (Yes.) How do antichrists condemn people? They make mountains out of molehills. For example, you did something that was not a problem, but they want to make a big fuss about it in order to attack you, so they think of all kinds of ways to get dirt on you and condemn you by making a mountain out of a molehill, such that others who listen think that what the antichrists say makes sense and that you did something wrong. With this, the antichrists have accomplished their goal. This is condemning, attacking, and excluding dissenters. What does it mean to exclude? It means that in their hearts, they know that what you did was right, but they envy and hate you, intentionally try to attack you, so they say that what you did was wrong. Then they will use their own views and fallacies to out-debate you, speaking in a compelling way so that everyone listening feels what they say is right and well said; then, all those people will approve of them, and will stand on their side in opposition to you. Antichrists use this to attack you, to make you negative and weak. With this, they have achieved their goal of attacking and excluding dissenters. Excluding dissenters can sometimes happen in the form of face-to-face debate, or sometimes in passing judgment on someone, stirring the pot, slandering them, and making things up about them behind their back. … The antichrist believes that it is best to subdue a dissenter, but if they cannot be subdued then the antichrist does everything possible to isolate and then exclude them. If they cannot be excluded, the antichrist continues to isolate them, eventually bringing them to heel and making them beg for mercy. The antichrist draws in and utilizes some forces to attack people who pursue the truth or whose opinions are not in line with their own. They tear down the church and break it into factions, and in the end the church is divided into two or three cliques—one that listens to them, one that does not, and one that is neutral. Under their ‘brilliant’ guidance, more and more people listen to them, and fewer and fewer do not. More people capitulate to them, and those with different opinions than the antichrist become isolated and do not dare speak up. Fewer and fewer people can discern or oppose them, and this way, the antichrist gradually gains control of the majority of people in the church, assuming a position of authority. This is the goal that the antichrist aims for. When dealing with people who have different opinions than them, the antichrist shows zero tolerance. They think: ‘Even if you have a different opinion, you must submit to my leadership, because I now have the final say. You are beneath me. If you are a dragon, you must coil yourself up; a tiger, you must lie prone; no matter what abilities you have, as long as I am here, you can forget about gaining an advantage or stirring up trouble!’ This is the goal that the antichrist aims for—unilaterally controlling the church and controlling God’s chosen people” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Two: They Attack and Exclude Dissenters). God exposes that in order to take power and have their way in group settings, and to attain their aim of controlling others, antichrists use all kinds of methods and means to attack and exclude those who disagree with them or threaten their status. I reflected on my behavior in light of God’s words. During my time as a team leader, most of the time, the sisters around me usually agreed with my views, and my desire for status was satisfied, but after Xin Jie arrived, she occasionally offered different suggestions, and I felt my presence before the group diminished, which made me unhappy, causing me to start excluding Xin Jie. During our studies and discussions, when my views weren’t accepted by the sisters, to save my face and make Xin Jie acknowledge that my views were correct, I searched for information behind the scenes and repeatedly fellowshipped with the sisters to try and convince everyone. When Xin Jie disagreed with me, I would show her a cold attitude, and if there were issues in the work, I wouldn’t fellowship them with Xin Jie, choosing to isolate and constrain her instead. To establish my prestige, when reviewing Xin Jie’s letter, instead of helping her refine and improve it out of love when I found mistakes, I deliberately picked at her flaws, and criticized and belittled her. This led her to become negative and made her feel there was no way to revise the letter, and still, I didn’t stop, pressuring her to revise the letter quickly under the pretext of not delaying progress, deliberately creating difficulties for her. Weren’t these behaviors and actions of mine attacking and excluding dissenters just as God exposed? When brothers and sisters cooperate in their duties, it’s not like out in the secular world where those with status and power dictate everything. In God’s house, the truth holds power, and differing views can be fellowshipped on together to seek the principles, and we should follow whoever is right and in accordance with the principles, implementing everything according to God’s words and the truth principles. But I thought too highly of myself and always wanted others to bend to my will, and if someone didn’t listen to me, I would find ways to make them submit, not hesitating even if it meant hindering the work and constraining my sister. Thinking about how only antichrists and evil people can do evil deeds like attacking and excluding people, I couldn’t believe that I too could do such things. I realized that my problems were really severe, so I prayed to God to enlighten me to recognize my issues.
Later, I read two passages of God’s words: “What is the main objective of an antichrist when they attack and exclude a dissenter? They seek to create a situation in the church where there are no voices contrary to their own, in which their power, their leadership status, and their words are all absolute. Everyone must heed them, and even if they have a difference of opinion, they must not express it, but let it fester in their heart. Anyone who dares to openly disagree with them becomes the antichrist’s enemy, and they will think of any way they can to make things hard for them, and can’t wait to make them disappear. This is one of the ways that antichrists attack and exclude a dissenter in order to shore up their status and protect their power. They think, ‘It’s fine for you to have different opinions, but you can’t go around talking about them as you please, much less compromise my power and status. If you have something to say, you can say it to me in private. If you say it in front of everyone and cause me to lose face, you are asking for trouble, and I’ll have to take care of you!’ What kind of disposition is this? Antichrists do not permit others to speak freely. If they have an opinion—whether about the antichrist or anything else—they cannot just bring it up at random; they must consider the antichrist’s face. If not, the antichrist will brand them an enemy, and attack and exclude them. What kind of nature is this? It is the nature of an antichrist. And why do they do this? They do not allow the church to have any alternative voices, they do not permit any dissenters in the church, they do not allow God’s chosen ones to openly fellowship the truth and discern people. What they fear most is being exposed and discerned by people; they are constantly trying to consolidate their power and the status they have in people’s hearts, which they feel must never be shaken. They could never tolerate anything that threatens or affects their pride, reputation, or status and value as a leader. Is this not a manifestation of the malicious nature of antichrists? Not content with the power they already possess, they consolidate and secure it and seek eternal domination. Not only do they want to control others’ behavior, but also their hearts. These methods that antichrists use are wholly in order to protect their power and status, and are entirely the result of their desire to hold on to power” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Two: They Attack and Exclude Dissenters). “What are the origins of the methods, manifestations, motives for action, and sources of action in attacking and excluding dissenters of the antichrists? (Satan.) To be specific, they come from man’s ambitions and desires, and from Satan’s nature. Then what is the antichrist’s goal? Their goal is to seize power, control people’s hearts, and enjoy the benefits of their status. This is what makes a real antichrist. From the perspective of the two items of winning over people’s hearts and attacking and excluding dissenters, how does an antichrist interpret the meaning of the word ‘leader’ and the role a leader plays? They believe that a leader is someone who possesses power and status, that they have the power to order, draw in, mislead, threaten and control the people that they lead. This is how they comprehend the word ‘leader.’ So, when they are in a leadership role, they implement these tactics in their work, and this is how they do their duties. Then what are they actually doing when they do their duties? It can be confidently stated that they are committing evil deeds, and to be precise, they are establishing their own independent kingdom, vying with God over the chosen people, the people’s hearts, and status. They want to replace God’s position in people’s hearts, to make people worship them” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Two: They Attack and Exclude Dissenters). God exposes that those with the nature of an antichrist regard status as life, and in order to protect their status and power, they are able to act recklessly, using any means necessary to compete with God for people and make people follow and obey them. On reflection, I realized that I too greatly valued reputation and status, and since becoming a team leader, I always wanted to have the final say in the team and make everyone focus on me, and if anyone’s actions encroached on my status, I would use tricks to torment them, only stopping once people submitted to me. I lived by satanic philosophies like “There can only be one alpha male,” “Let those who comply with me thrive and those who resist me perish,” and “In all the universe, only I reign supreme,” taking these ideas as my principles of survival. I reflected on when I had cooperated with a sister to do our duties. She disagreed with my views and didn’t follow my instructions, and in response, I gave her a hard time, causing her to feel constrained by me and unwilling to do duties alongside me. Now, cooperating with Xin Jie and a few others, I remained self-centered and didn’t permit others to have different suggestions, and when Xin Jie disagreed with me, I felt I had been put on the spot, so I forced her to accept my views to protect my status and image, which led to prolonged stalemates when discussing problems, but not only did I fail to reflect on myself, I also looked for opportunities to attack and take revenge, deliberately making things difficult for Xin Jie to humiliate her. This caused Xin Jie great harm. I truly had no humanity! My being able to do the duty of a team leader was God’s exaltation, and God’s intention was for me to lead everyone to seek the truth principles together, to harmoniously cooperate and do our duties well, and to make progress both in life entry and in technical fields, not to act as an authority and constrain others. My doing duties for a long time didn’t mean I understood the truth or had reality. In truth, I didn’t see things comprehensively and my fellowship and understanding weren’t always correct. I should have listened more to everyone’s suggestions, and gone along with whoever’s fellowship aligned with the truth. Everyone has different caliber and understandings, and so perspectives on issues will vary, so naturally, different viewpoints will emerge, and I shouldn’t exclude and reject differing views to protect my status, but rather seek the truth principles together with everyone. But I treated my views and understanding as the truth principles, forcing others to accept and submit, and attacking and excluding those who didn’t listen. These evil deeds of mine were transgressions before God! I thought of many antichrists expelled from God’s house, who, to protect their status, suppressed and excluded those who could discern them, causing unbridled chaos in the church’s work and bringing about serious disruptions and disturbances. Then I looked at myself, and I realized I was also attacking and excluding the sister with different views to protect my status as a team leader. I was always looking for faults to make life difficult for her and isolate her. My behavior was just like that of an antichrist! I was truly malicious! If I didn’t repent, I would end up with an outcome just like that of those antichrists, and I’d end up eliminated and punished by God! Realizing this, I became afraid and wanted to repent.
Afterward, I sought a path to cooperating with others and read some of God’s words: “Harmonious cooperation involves many things. At the very least, one of these many things is to allow others to speak and make different suggestions. If you are genuinely reasonable, no matter what kind of work you do, you must first learn to seek the truth principles, and you should also take the initiative to seek the opinions of others. As long as you take every suggestion seriously, and then resolve problems with one heart and mind, you will essentially achieve harmonious cooperation. This way, you will encounter far fewer difficulties in your duty. No matter what problems come up, it will be easy to solve and deal with them. This is the effect of harmonious cooperation. Sometimes there are disputes over trivial matters, but as long as these don’t affect the work, they will not be a problem. However, on key matters and major matters involving the work of the church, you must reach a consensus and seek truth to resolve them. As a leader or a worker, if you always think yourself above others, and revel in your duty like it’s a government post, always indulging in the benefits of your status, always making your own plans, always considering and enjoying your own fame, gain and status, always running your own operation, and always seeking to gain higher status, to manage and control more people, and to expand the scope of your power, this is trouble. It is very dangerous to treat an important duty as a chance to enjoy your position as if you are a government official. If you always act like this, not wishing to cooperate with others, not wanting to dilute your power and share it with anyone else, not wanting anyone else to upstage you, to steal the limelight, if you only want to enjoy the power on your own, then you are an antichrist. But if you often seek the truth, practice rebelling against your flesh, your motivations and ideas, and are able to take it upon yourself to cooperate with others, open up your heart to consult and seek with others, attentively listen to others’ ideas and suggestions, and accept advice which is correct and aligns with the truth, no matter who it comes from, then you are practicing in a wise and correct manner, and you are able to avoid taking the wrong path, which is protection for you” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). “When two people collaborate to perform a duty, they sometimes will have a dispute over a matter of principle. They will have different viewpoints and they will come to different opinions. What can be done in that case? Is this an issue that comes up often? It is a normal phenomenon. Everyone’s minds, calibers, insights, ages, and experiences are different, and it is impossible for two people to have precisely the same thoughts and views, and therefore, that two people might come to differ in their opinions and views is a very common phenomenon. It could not be a more regular occurrence. It is nothing to make a fuss about. The critical question is how, when such an issue arises, to cooperate and seek unity before God and unanimity of views and opinions. What is the path to unification of views and opinions? It is to seek the relevant aspect of the truth principles, not to act according to your own or to someone else’s intentions, but to seek the intentions of God. This is the path to harmonious cooperation. Only when you seek God’s intentions and the principles He requires will you be able to achieve unity” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. On Harmonious Cooperation). God’s words showed me a path of practice for cooperating with others in my duty. When someone disagrees with my views, I need to put aside my status and position and not insist upon myself, and seek the relevant principles with others, practicing according to God’s requirements. Because each of us has different caliber and experiences, and each person’s understanding of the same matter varies, God arranges for us to cooperate together to complement each other and make up for each other’s strengths and weaknesses. I reflected on when Xin Jie proposed a different viewpoint. If I could have put aside my status as a team leader and accepted her suggestions with a seeking heart, the progress of the work wouldn’t have been delayed. It was all my fault for placing too much importance on my status and constantly protecting my status and image, as these things hindered the work. Later, I apologized to Xin Jie and exposed my evil deeds, but to my surprise, Xin Jie didn’t hold a grudge against me for the harm I had caused her, and we were able to interact normally again. When studying technical matters and discussing issues together, I also focused on listening to the sisters’ viewpoints. Sometimes, when the sisters disagreed with my views, I felt a bit upset, but I was able to pray to God and rebel against myself, seek and contemplate others’ viewpoints, and realized that everyone had their own understanding and could speak forth some light, and that I could benefit from others’ fellowship.
Later, when I was selecting sermons and thought one had problems, I abandoned it, but Xin Jie provided a different viewpoint in her review. Confronted with the sister’s suggestion, I felt somewhat resistant, thinking, “If I agree with Xin Jie’s viewpoint, would it make me look inferior to her? What would the other sisters think of me?” Thinking this way, I argued with Xin Jie for a while, trying to make her accept my viewpoint. I realized my state was wrong, and that I was trying to protect my pride and make Xin Jie listen to me, so I prayed inwardly, “God, I’m having difficulty accepting Xin Jie’s differing suggestions. Please protect my heart and help me learn to let go of myself, seek principles from this, start by accepting and submitting when faced with different viewpoints, and learn to deny myself. If my viewpoint is unsuitable, I am willing to accept others’ suggestions.” We then drew on the relevant principles and reviewed the sermon together, and we found that the issues I mentioned weren’t substantive problems, and that overall, the sermon was solid. Although my pride was a little bruised, I felt pretty happy, because if it hadn’t been for Xin Jie’s suggestions, I would have overlooked a good sermon. Listening to others’ suggestions not only helps prevent me from committing evil but also allows me to find my shortcomings, which is something that makes up for my flaws.
Through this experience, I saw that if I don’t walk the right path and pursue the truth in my duty and only try to protect my status, I am prone to commit evil and resist God at any moment, incurring people’s disgust and God’s spurning, leading me down a path of no return. Only by learning to let go of pride and status, setting aside my views, seeking the truth principles, and learning to cooperate with others, can I gain further unexpected benefits. I truly experienced the benefits of accepting differing suggestions and doing things according to principles. Thank God!