By Yang Mei, China

In 2012, I was arrested by the police while evangelizing. The police interrogated me harshly, asking who the church leaders were and where the gatherings were held, and when I didn’t answer, they beat me and held me for interrogation for a long time. Finally, when they saw that they couldn’t get the information they wanted, they let my parents take me home, and threatened them, saying, “We’re letting her go this time, but you’ve got to keep a close watch on her and not let her believe in God anymore. If she does, and we catch her, she’ll be sentenced to prison, and we’ll make sure you lose everything and your family is ruined!” After that, my parents began to stand in the way of my belief in God. They were afraid I’d read God’s words, so they watched me everywhere, and they even slept in my room at night, leaving me no space for freedom. My other relatives didn’t understand me either. My elderly grandmother came to our house, crying and begging me not to believe in God anymore, fearing that I’d be arrested and sent to prison. My grandfather also, with a grim expression, pointed at me and said, “Why are you believing in God at such a young age! Believing in God has gotten you arrested and a criminal record, not only bringing shame to us, but implicating our entire family! You’ve got to give up your faith!” Seeing my grandfather’s fierce expression, I felt deeply wronged. I rebutted in my mind, “Believing in and worshiping God is perfectly natural and justified and is walking the right path. Good people in all countries believe in God. Why don’t you understand me? No matter how you stand in my way, I won’t give up my belief in God!”

One night, my mother burst into my room, knelt in front of me, and said through tears, “Please, don’t believe in God anymore! You’re our only daughter, if you’re arrested again and sentenced, not only will the police seize our money, but they’ll torture you as well. If something terrible were to happen to you, this family would be ruined!” I was so shocked by this and I rushed to help my mother up. Seeing my mother so heartbroken made me break down in tears. I didn’t know how to respond to her. My father had been working away from home all my life, and it was my mother who had gone through the difficulty of raising me. Now that I was all grown up, I still hadn’t repaid her for raising me, but here she was kneeling and begging me. I felt I was being so unfilial. This thought made me feel a bit weak, “With my mother kneeling and begging me, if I don’t consider her feelings at all, wouldn’t that really hurt her?” I felt very distressed, so I prayed silently, asking God to keep me standing firm. After praying, I thought of God’s words: “You must possess My courage within you, and you must have principles when it comes to facing relatives who do not believe. For My sake, however, you also must not yield to any dark forces. Rely on My wisdom to walk the perfect way; do not allow any of Satan’s conspiracies to take hold. Put all your efforts into placing your heart before Me, and I shall comfort you and bring you peace and happiness. Do not strive to be a certain way in front of other people; does making Me satisfied not carry more value and weight? In satisfying Me, will you not be even further filled with eternal and lifelong peace and happiness?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 10). God’s words cleared my head. On the surface, it seemed like my mother was kneeling and begging me, but behind this was Satan’s scheme. Satan didn’t want me to follow God and be saved and was using my mother to tempt and attack me, trying to make me betray God and go down to hell with it. I couldn’t fall for Satan’s scheme; I had to stand firm in my testimony to shame it! This thought made me feel more resolute. In daily matters, I could listen to my mother, but in matters of faith, I couldn’t. I became determined to believe in God!

Later, seeing my resolute attitude toward believing in God, my parents tightened their supervision over me. I often prayed to God, asking Him to open a path for me. Later, a sister offered me a job at her store, this would give me the opportunity to read God’s words and gather with brothers and sisters, so I gladly accepted. However, to my surprise, my father followed me in secret. One day, while I was at a gathering, I suddenly received a call from my father asking where I was. I used wisdom and told him I was at work, but he didn’t believe me and rushed to the store. Fortunately, I returned to the store before him, and he left only after seeing me. On another occasion, when I was going to a gathering, as I was approaching the host house, I looked back and saw my father following behind me, so I dared not attend the gathering and had to go home. My father not only followed and monitored me when I went out, but also occasionally came into my room at home to check if I was reading God’s words. One night, I locked my bedroom door and secretly hid inside to read God’s words, when suddenly I heard a “thump thump thump” knocking on the door, and I felt very scared. Before I could hide the books of God’s words and open the door, my father smashed the glass of the balcony and stormed in. He grabbed a bottle from the vanity and kept hitting me with it, cursing me as he hit me, “I told you not to believe in God! I’ll absolutely not let you keep up this faith!” He also shouted blasphemous words against God. Then my mother also scolded me, “If you continue to believe in God, your father and I will disown you. Let’s see how you’ll manage then!” I was really scared, afraid that my father might hurt me and that they might actually kick me out of the house, so I called out to God, “God, my stature is too small to overcome this situation, please guide and protect me, and give me faith and strength.” I then thought of God’s words: “You should not be afraid of this and that; no matter how many difficulties and dangers you might face, you are capable of remaining steady before Me, unobstructed by any hindrance, so that My will may be carried out unimpeded. This is your duty…. Be not afraid; with My support, who could ever block this road?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 10). It’s true, God is my support, all things and events are in God’s hands, and my parents are also in God’s control. Without God’s permission, they couldn’t do anything to me. When my parents saw that no matter what they said, I was determined to keep believing in God, they got so angry that they turned and stormed off.

After my parents left, I thought about how my father had beaten me, and I felt very sad. In my whole life, my father had never hit me, but just because I believed in God, my parents, who had always loved me, were treating me as their enemy. My father had struck me with a bottle, and my mother had even said she didn’t want me anymore. If they really kicked me out of the house, I’d have no home and I’d be all by myself, then where could I go? I felt a bit weak, and thought about just how difficult it is to believe in God in China. I wondered whether I should just believe in my heart and not go to gatherings, so that the family could all get along again, and they would love me as they did before. But thinking about not gathering made me very sad, because gathering with brothers and sisters and reading God’s words had helped me understand some truths, and allowed me to know that believing in God is to walk the right path in life and that everything in life comes from God. Believing in God brought me peace, joy, and a sense of having someone to rely on, and it made me very happy. But it was so painful and stifling to be persecuted by my parents, so I prayed to God, asking Him to guide me to understand His intention, and to give me the faith to get through this situation. Later, I read that God’s words say: “You must suffer hardship for the truth, you must sacrifice yourself for the truth, you must endure humiliation for the truth, and to gain more of the truth you must undergo more suffering. This is what you should do. You must not throw away the truth for the sake of the enjoyment of a harmonious family life, and you must not lose a lifetime of dignity and integrity for the sake of momentary enjoyment. You should pursue all that is beautiful and good, and you should pursue a path in life that is more meaningful. If you lead such a vulgar life, and do not pursue any objectives, do you not waste your life? What can you gain from such a life? You should forsake all enjoyments of the flesh for the sake of one truth, and should not throw away all truths for the sake of a little enjoyment. People like this have no integrity or dignity; there is no meaning to their existence!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). Reading God’s words brought clarity to my heart. In China, the country that resists God the most, it’s inevitable to be persecuted for believing in God. To follow God, one must have faith and the will to endure hardships. But after suffering some hardship because my parents often beat, scolded and persecuted me, my heart was troubled, and I complained that believing in God was truly painful, and I even considered not gathering anymore. I was so weak and lacked any backbone! Believing in God and worshiping Him is perfectly natural and justified, and my parents’ lack of understanding of me and their persecution of me were all caused by the Communist Party, which resists God, arrests Christians everywhere, spreads baseless rumors, and condemns God. This had caused my nonbelieving family to be misled by it, and to follow it in persecuting and obstructing me in my faith. But I mistakenly believed that this suffering had been caused by my faith in God. I had been utterly incapable of distinguishing right from wrong, and I had been blind and foolish! I thought about how God has incarnated and come to China, the country that resists Him the most, suffering arrests and persecution from its atheistic regime and resistance and condemnation from the religious world, but God has always been silently expressing the truth and enduring all kinds of suffering to save humanity. Yet I was complaining about God just because I was going through a little suffering, only wishing to live a comfortable and easy life, unwilling to suffer or face persecution to gain the truth in my belief in God. I was truly lacking in conscience. I also thought about how God has incarnated in the last days to express the truth and save humanity. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and it would be the only chance for me to gain the truth and be saved by God. If I abandoned my faith in God just to enjoy temporary family harmony and missed my chance at God’s salvation, then that would be a lifelong regret! No matter how much my parents loved me, they couldn’t save me from disaster. God alone is my sole support. If I didn’t believe in God or pursue the truth, just enjoyed comfort and family harmony and lived an empty life in doing so, then what meaning would there be in that? In the end, I’d just end up following the path of depravity and evil that secular people walk, become increasingly corrupted by Satan, and ultimately be destroyed along with Satan. Thinking of this, I felt much calmer and resolved that no matter how my parents persecuted or obstructed me, I would follow God to the very end!

The next day, my father came to my room again. He wasn’t as harsh as the day before and said with a frown, “There are some things I didn’t tell you before. I was afraid you’d be upset. Ever since you were arrested and released, some of the villagers have been saying that a young criminal has emerged from our village, and your mother and I can’t even hold our heads up when we go out. It wasn’t easy for us to raise you, but even if you don’t keep us in mind, you should think about yourself! If you’re arrested again for your faith, your life will be over!” After he said this, he left. Watching my father leave with a pained expression left me feeling distressed as well. Everyone used to see me as a lovable and understanding child, but now, after being arrested by the police, people who don’t understand the facts thought I must have done something bad out there. My parents must have endured a lot of cold looks and harsh words during this time. I thought about how my parents had raised me but I hadn’t made them proud, and instead, just caused them to be pointed at and looked down on. I felt I’d really let them down. Later, I read a passage of God’s words: “Perhaps you all remember these words: ‘For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, works for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.’ You have all heard these words before, yet none of you understood their true meaning. Today, you are profoundly aware of their true significance. These words shall be fulfilled by God during the last days, and they shall be fulfilled in those who have been brutally persecuted by the great red dragon in the land where it lies coiled. The great red dragon persecutes God and is the enemy of God, and so, in this land, people are subjected to humiliation and persecution because of their belief in God, and these words are fulfilled in you, this group of people, as a result” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Is the Work of God As Simple As Man Imagines?). From God’s words, I understood that walking the right path in life by believing in God isn’t wrong, but because the Communist Party crazily resists God, arrests, and persecutes believers, it results in believers in China, this atheistic country, suffering much humiliation and persecution. This isn’t because believing in God is wrong, but rather it’s because the Communist Party is utterly evil, bringing endless harm and suffering to believers and their families. The main culprit behind all this suffering was the Communist Party, and I didn’t owe my parents anything. Thinking of this, I felt some release. By contemplating God’s words, I also understood that although we are humiliated and persecuted for believing in God today, this suffering is temporary. God used this suffering to perfect my faith, so this suffering had a meaning, and I had to rely on God and steadfastly continue on. With this in mind, I gained faith and no longer felt any pain or distress.

In the summer of 2013, after I had just returned home from my duties, my mother anxiously said, “The police station called and said they want to see you.” I was really scared when I heard this, not knowing what the police wanted from me, so I silently prayed to God, asking Him to grant me wisdom, so that I could see through Satan’s schemes and stand firm in my testimony. At the police station, the police asked me some questions about the church, and they also asked me to write blasphemous words against God. I knew that blasphemy against God is an unforgivable sin in this life and in the world to come, and that writing this would be betraying God, so I resolutely refused to do so. My father, seeing that I refused to write what they asked, became so angry that his face turned red, and said to the police, “If she keeps clinging to her faith, then just take her away!” I could hardly believe my ears. I hadn’t expected that my father would gang up with the police to pressure me into giving up my faith, even urging the police to arrest me. This was no longer the father I’d known! Later, seeing that I refused to write, the police let me go home and told me to hand in a guarantee of apostasy in three days. After returning home, the thought of how my father wanted to hand me over to the police left me feeling really cold inside. I thought about two passages of God’s words: “If a man becomes infuriated and flies into a rage when God is mentioned, has he seen God? Does he know who God is? He does not know who God is, does not believe in Him, and God has not spoken to him. God has never troubled him, so why would he be angry? Could we say that this person is wicked? Worldly trends, eating, drinking, and pleasure-seeking, and chasing celebrities—none of these things would bother such a man. However, at the very mention of the word ‘God,’ or of the truth of God’s words, he flies into a rage. Does this not constitute having a wicked nature? This is sufficient to prove that this is man’s wicked nature” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique V). “There is no relationship between a believing husband and a nonbelieving wife, and there is no relationship between believing children and nonbelieving parents; these two types of people are completely incompatible. Prior to entering into rest, one has physical relatives, but once one has entered into rest, one will no longer have any physical relatives to speak of” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God and Man Will Enter Into Rest Together). God’s words expose that if a person doesn’t know God or has never believed in Him, but when the word “God” is mentioned, they become angry and hateful, it indicates that this person’s nature is evil and that they oppose God. I reflected on how my father had always had a hateful attitude toward my faith, and that whenever he saw me gathering or reading God’s words, he would grit his teeth in hatred, his eyes would glow with rage, and he would even blaspheme God. To obstruct my belief, he often watched me as if I were a criminal, following and monitoring me, not giving me any freedom, and when he knew I was reading God’s words in my room, he seemed to go mad, broke the window to burst in and hit me. In order to force me to betray God, he even actively suggested that the police arrest me, showing no concern for whether I lived or died, or any kind of father-daughter affection. This made me understand that his nature essence was one that resisted and hated God. God says that believers and nonbelievers are two distinct types of people, and this is indeed true! I was following God and pursuing the truth, walking the right path in life, while my parents didn’t believe in God and were following the Communist Party to persecute me. Although we had a blood relationship, we weren’t on the same path and were fundamentally incompatible. By experiencing these things, I gained some discernment about my parents’ essence, and I was able to let go of some of my emotional attachments to them. Later, because the police station kept insisting that I sign an apostasy guarantee, I left home and went into hiding.

Then something else happened, which made me see my parents’ essences more clearly. One night, when I passed through our village while doing my duties, I went back home to get some things, and my parents, seeing me back, urged me again not to believe in God anymore. My father said, “We raised you with the hope that you would support us when we’re old, but now that you go out to gatherings every day, it seems we can’t rely on you.” At first, I didn’t respond to them, but to my astonishment, my father suddenly started slapping his face, hitting himself while demanding that I stop believing in God, causing his nose to bleed. I was stunned. I’d never expected my father would resort to such methods to force me to give up my faith in God. My mother was also crying and urging me. I felt very distressed, and I couldn’t hold back my tears, thinking, “Will my father cause himself significant injury if he keeps hitting himself? After all, he is my father, and I can’t just look on as he hurts himself, but I can’t agree to stop believing in God either. What should I do?” At that moment, I thought of a passage of God’s words: “At all times, My people should be on guard against the cunning schemes of Satan, guarding the gate of My house for Me; they should be able to support each other and provide for each other, so as to avoid falling into Satan’s trap, at which time it would be too late for regrets” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God’s Words to the Entire Universe, Chapter 3). God’s words helped me understand that my father’s self-harm was intended to prevent me from believing in God, which was a scheme of Satan. So I didn’t compromise with them. Seeing that I remained steadfast, my parents eventually stopped speaking.

Later, I read another passage of God’s words: “Why are children dutiful to their parents? Why do parents dote on their children? What sorts of intentions do people actually harbor? Is their intent not to satisfy their own plans and selfish desires? Do they truly mean to act for the sake of God’s management plan? Are they really acting for the sake of God’s work? Is their intent to fulfill the duties of a created being?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God and Man Will Enter Into Rest Together). From God’s words, I understood that parents’ love for their children is driven by their own selfish desires. After I was arrested for believing in God, my parents felt that I had brought shame on them and were afraid of the police causing trouble for them. So, they used various methods to obstruct my belief in God, even resorting to harming themselves to coerce me. I realized that their love for me wasn’t genuine. Parents’ love is impure, and it’s for their own personal interests. If I listened to them and gave up my belief in God, how would I be saved? They weren’t loving me; they were harming me! I couldn’t be constrained by affection any longer. No matter how my parents tried to obstruct or persecute me, I resolved to follow God to the end.

Later, when I thought of my dad hitting himself, I still felt some discomfort and weakness. I read that God’s words say: “Young people should have the perseverance to continue along the way of truth that they have now chosen—to realize their wish to expend their entire lives for Me. They should not be without the truth, nor should they harbor hypocrisy and unrighteousness—they should stand firm in the proper stance. They should not just drift along, but should have the spirit to dare to make sacrifices and to struggle for justice and truth. Young people should have the bravery to not succumb to oppression by the forces of darkness and to transform the significance of their existence” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Words for the Young and the Old). From God’s words, I realized that as a created being, I had to believe in and follow God, and do my duty. In this way, life has value and meaning. If I sought temporary comfort for the sake of family harmony, and lost my chance to pursue the truth and be saved by God, wouldn’t I be living my life for nothing? Since I’ve chosen to believe in God, I shouldn’t be constrained by anyone or anything, and I should steadfastly continue on. This is the resolve and perseverance a young person should have. I thought of Peter, whose parents obstructed his belief in God, but Peter had a sense of justice and a clear distinction between that which he loved and hated. He wasn’t constrained by his unbelieving parents and resolutely followed the Lord Jesus. In following the Lord, he experienced God’s judgment, chastisement, trials, and refinement, his life disposition changed, and in the end, he was crucified upside down as a testimony to God. Peter’s life was truly the most meaningful. Although I was far short of Peter’s example, I was willing to emulate him in not being constrained by anyone or anything, pursuing the truth, and living a meaningful life. After understanding God’s intention, my heart felt completely liberated. I no longer felt discomfort due to my parents’ attitude toward me, and I just wanted to do my duty well to satisfy God. Later, when my parents saw that I was determined to believe in God, and that they truly had no way to obstruct me, they stopped bothering me. Now I am constantly gathering in the church and doing my duty, and my heart feels really at ease and at peace!