By Su Wei, China

Since childhood, my family was relatively poor. Relatives and friends looked down on us, and even my grandparents rejected us. My mom often nagged me, saying, “You have to study hard and bring honor to the family!” I took her words to heart, worked hard in my studies, and consistently ranked among the top of my class. But later, I had a car accident and other mishaps, and I had to undergo three surgeries. Each time I had surgery, my family was deeply worried, and sometimes my mom would complain, saying that if it weren’t for the money they’d spent on my surgeries, our family wouldn’t be in such poverty. After the high school entrance exams, I successfully gained admission to a prestigious high school. Many times, I thought about giving up my studies to start working early to earn money to ease the burden on my family, but my parents disagreed and encouraged me to focus on my studies. I was deeply touched and resolved to repay them properly when I grew up. Later, my academic journey carried on smoothly, and after the college entrance exams, I smoothly gained admission into a first-rate university. After that, I continued on to a prestigious university for graduate school. At that time, our family’s financial situation was particularly dire, my parents were often sick and unable to do heavy work, and our family was always in debt. Every year when I returned home for Chinese New Year, I would ask my mom how much we still owed our friends and relatives. I also occasionally heard my mom say that to support the family and pay for my college education, my dad was working two jobs, both of which were hard labor. Every day he would go to work with dry clothes and come back with them drenched. She’d tell me not to disappoint the family and to never be ungrateful. Hearing my mom say this, I’d cry in secret under the covers in the middle of the night, thinking to myself, “Once I start working, I’ll give a portion of my salary to my parents each month, so they can live a good life.”

In the second month after starting work following my graduation, I accepted God’s work of the last days. Through God’s words, I came to understand that the breath of life in us comes from God, and that as living beings, humans ought to worship Him. As I was watered by God’s words, I increasingly felt that I should devote more time to reading His words and pursuing the truth. So, I voluntarily gave up my job and chose to do my duty in the church. Occasionally, I would visit my parents at their workplace. Each time I saw their graying hair, my heart ached for them, and I felt deeply guilty, thinking that I’d let them down by not working and earning money to support them. Every time I visited them, I would buy some things or supplements for them, trying to make up for the feelings of indebtedness I felt in my heart. In 2021, a major crackdown occurred in the church I belonged to, and I was also hunted by the police. Thanks to God’s protection, I wasn’t arrested, but I could no longer contact my family. When I thought about how my parents would surely worry when they couldn’t reach me, I felt especially guilty, thinking, “I had several accidents when I was young, and my parents worried themselves sick over me. They’ve worked so hard to raise me to this age, which wasn’t easy at all. Now, not only am I not earning good money to support them, but I’m also making them worry and fret over me. I’m truly unfilial!” My heart ached with sorrow, and I wanted to cry every time I thought of my parents. I couldn’t take in God’s words, and I couldn’t absorb the fellowship of my brothers and sisters. Whenever I saw brothers and sisters around my parents’ age, I would think of my own parents, “They’re getting old, and their health isn’t great. I wonder how they’re doing now. If they get sick, will they have the money for treatment?” Although I was still doing my duty, my heart was constantly worried about my parents. I was merely going through the motions in my duty, and whenever something didn’t go the way I wanted, I thought about going home. But when I thought about how I’d be arrested if I went home, I didn’t dare to return. So I prayed to God, asking Him to protect me from being constrained by my affection.

One day, I read two passages of God’s words, and gained some understanding of my problem. Almighty God says: “Due to the conditioning of Chinese traditional culture, in Chinese people’s traditional notions they believe that one must observe filial piety toward their parents. Whoever does not observe filial piety is an unfilial child. These ideas have been instilled in people since childhood, and they are taught in practically every household, as well as in every school and in society at large. When a person’s head has been filled with such stuff, they think, ‘Filial piety is more important than anything. If I weren’t to observe it, I wouldn’t be a good person—I’d be an unfilial child and I’d be denounced by society. I’d be a person who lacks conscience.’ Is this view correct? People have seen so many truths expressed by God—has God demanded that one show filial piety toward their parents? Is this one of the truths that believers in God must understand? No, it is not. God has only fellowshipped on some principles. By what principle do God’s words ask that people treat others? Love what God loves, and hate what God hates: This is the principle that should be adhered to” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Recognizing One’s Own Misguided Views Can One Truly Transform). “What kind of education do you receive from your parents’ expectations? (The need to perform well in exams and have a successful future.) You have to show promise, you have to live up to your mother’s love and her hard work and sacrifices, and you have to fulfill your parents’ expectations and not let them down. They love you so much, they have given everything for you, and they are doing everything for you with their very lives. So, what have all their sacrifices, their education, and even their love become? They become something you must repay, and at the same time, they become your burden. This is how the burden comes about. Regardless of whether parents do these things out of instinct, out of love, or due to societal imperatives, in the end, using these methods to educate and treat you, and even instilling all kinds of ideas in you, does not bring your soul freedom, liberation, comfort, or joy. What is it they bring you? It is pressure, it is fear, it is the condemnation and uneasiness of your conscience. What else? (Shackles and constraints.) Shackles and constraints. What’s more, under such expectations from your parents, you can’t help but live for their hopes. In order to meet their expectations, in order to not fail their expectations, and in order not to let them lose hope in you, you study every subject diligently and conscientiously every day, and do everything they ask you to do” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (16)). God exposed my exact state. Ever since I was young, my mom had taught me that my parents had sacrificed so much for me, and that I mustn’t be ungrateful when I grew up. Relatives and neighbors also often said that even in spite of our family’s poverty, my parents continued to support my education, and that I had to properly repay them in the future and not forget my roots. I also saw the sacrifices my parents made for me. When I was young, I had several accidents, and my parents worried themselves gray while raising money for my surgeries. They also went all over the place to raise the funds necessary to support my education. So I wholeheartedly accepted the education and indoctrination from my family, relatives, and friends without hesitation. I made it my goal to study hard, improve our family’s financial situation, and ensure that my parents could live a good life. To achieve this, I worked hard to obtain a higher education, and I planned to give a portion of my salary to my parents every month, regardless of how life turned out. But after I found God and chose to give up my job to do my duty, I felt guilty for having failed my parents. Later, due to the persecution and arrests carried out by the CCP, I couldn’t contact my family, which made me condemn myself even more and feel like an unfilial son. When I thought about how my parents supported my education and now that I’d finally graduated, I wasn’t earning money to repay them and was making them worry, I was filled with guilt and self-blame. When I saw people of my parents’ age, I’d worry about my parents, and my focus would shift away from my duty. I even thought about betraying God and abandoning my duty to go home. Traditional ideas instilled in me by family and society, such as “Filial piety is a virtue to be held above all else,” and “An unfilial person is lower than a beast,” had become deeply rooted in my heart. They were like a snare that wrapped around me tightly and painfully. I clearly knew that human life comes from God, and that believing in God, worshiping Him, and doing one’s duty were the right paths in life and perfectly natural and justified, but I still couldn’t feel at ease in my duty. I constantly felt that going against my parents’ expectations meant that I lacked a conscience and that I was an ungrateful and unfilial child.

Later, I read another passage of God’s words, which helped me correctly treat my parents’ sacrifices for me all along. Almighty God says: “Let’s talk about how ‘Your parents are not your creditors’ should be interpreted. Your parents are not your creditors—isn’t this a fact? (It is.) Since it is a fact, it’s proper for us to explain the matters contained within it. Let’s look at the matter of your parents giving birth to you. Who was it that chose for them to give birth to you: you or your parents? Who chose whom? If you look at this from God’s perspective, the answer is: neither of you. Neither you nor your parents chose for them to give birth to you. If you look at the root of this matter, this was ordained by God. We’ll put this topic to one side for now, as this matter is easy for people to understand. From your perspective, you were passively born to your parents, without having any choice in the matter. From the perspective of your parents, they gave birth to you through their own independent will, right? In other words, putting aside God’s ordination, when it comes to the matter of giving birth to you, it was your parents who had all the power. They chose to give birth to you, and they called all the shots. You did not choose for them to give birth to you, you were passively born to them, and you didn’t have any choice in the matter. So, since your parents had all the power, and they chose to give birth to you, they have an obligation and a responsibility to bring you up, to raise you into an adult, to supply you with an education, with food, clothes, and money—this is their responsibility and obligation, and it is what they ought to do. Whereas you were always passive during the period that they were raising you, you didn’t have the right to choose—you had to be raised by them. Because you were young, you didn’t have the capacity to raise yourself, you had no choice but to be passively brought up by your parents. You were raised in the way that your parents chose, if they gave you nice food and drinks, then you ate and drank nice food and drinks. If your parents provided you with a living environment where you survived off chaff and wild plants, then you survived off chaff and wild plants. In any case, when you were being raised, you were passive, and your parents were fulfilling their responsibility. It’s the same as your parents caring for a flower. Since they want to care for a flower, they should fertilize it, water it, and make sure that it gets sunlight. So, regarding people, no matter whether your parents looked after you meticulously or took great care of you, in any case, they were just fulfilling their responsibility and obligation. … Since it is a responsibility and an obligation, it should be free, and they should not ask for compensation. By raising you, your parents were just fulfilling their responsibility and obligation, and this should be unpaid, and it should not be a transaction. So, you do not need to approach your parents or handle your relationship with them according to the idea of recompensing them. If you do treat your parents, pay them back, and handle your relationship with them according to this idea, that is inhumane. At the same time, it is likely to make you restrained and bound by your fleshly feelings, and it will be hard for you to emerge from these entanglements, to the extent that you might even lose your way. Your parents are not your creditors, so you have no obligation to realize all of their expectations. You have no obligation to foot the bill for their expectations. That is to say, they can have their own expectations. You have your own choices, and the life path and destiny that God has set out for you, which have nothing to do with your parents” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (17)). Through pondering God’s words, I came to understand that parents are not creditors to their children and that parents raise their children willingly, and since they choose to do so, they have the responsibility and obligation to raise them. No matter how much parents sacrifice in this process, it is their responsibility as parents and a kind of law God has ordained for created beings. Just as many creatures in nature reproduce and nurture their offspring, they are simply following the laws and principles set down by the Creator. The same applies to humans. Parents who choose to have children should raise them and give them freedom, allowing them to choose their own life path. If parents demand repayment and compensation simply because they raised their children or even sacrifice their children’s freedom to choose their life path to fulfill their own desires for a better life, this is, in fact, inhumane. Such parents are too selfish. Reflecting on why I felt guilty for not earning money to fulfill my filial duties to my parents, I realized it was because I had viewed their sacrifices and care as a kindness, seeing them as my creditors. I believed that once I had the ability to earn money in the future, I had to repay them properly; otherwise, I would be ungrateful, unfilial, and lacking in humanity. From God’s words, I understood that my perspective on things was wrong. My parents’ raising and caring for me was just them fulfilling their responsibility and obligation as parents. I did not owe them anything, nor was I obligated to meet their expectations. I have the right to choose the kind of path I should take in life, and I shouldn’t be constrained by this so-called kindness, as this would cause me to lose my freedom in this life and even forfeit my chance to pursue the truth and be saved. Reflecting on each stage of my life, I experienced several dangerous accidents as a child, yet I was miraculously protected and survived by God’s protection. One time, I was struck by a speeding car and thrown to the other side of the road, and lost consciousness, but when I woke up, I only had minor fractures and a few superficial injuries. Another time, I was violently beaten by a person with schizophrenia. It was a particularly bloody and violent incident, but my brain wasn’t injured, and my face wasn’t disfigured, and I only needed a few stitches on my head and was left with only one broken bone, with no other significant injuries. Those who knew about these experiences of me growing up all said I was truly lucky. In reality, it wasn’t about luck. This was all God’s protection. Thinking back, I saw that I had made it to this day under God’s care and protection. I had a path for my life that God had set for me and a mission to fulfill. I should not live only for my parents.

Later, I read another passage of God’s words: “When it comes to your parents’ expectations, you should not carry any burdens. If you do as your parents ask, your fate stays the same; if you don’t follow your parents’ expectations and you disappoint them, your fate still remains the same. However the path ahead of you is meant to be, that’s how it will be; it has already been ordained by God. Similarly, if you meet your parents’ expectations, satisfy your parents, and don’t let them down, does that mean they get to live a better life? Can it change their fate of suffering and mistreatment? (No.) Some people think that their parents have given them too much kindness in raising them, and that their parents suffered so much during that time. So they want to find a good job, then endure hardship, undergo toil, be diligent, and work hard to earn a lot of money and make a fortune. Their aim is to provide their parents with a privileged life in the future, living in a villa, driving a nice car, and eating and drinking well. But after years of hustling, although their living conditions and circumstances have improved, their parents pass away without enjoying a single day of that prosperity. Who is to blame for this? If you let things take their own course, let God orchestrate, and don’t carry this burden, then you won’t feel guilty when your parents pass away. But if you work yourself to the bone to earn money to repay your parents and help them live a better life, but then they die, how would you feel? If you delayed performing your duty and you delayed obtaining the truth, will you still be able to live comfortably for the rest of your lifetime? (No.) Your life will be affected, and you will always carry the burden of ‘having failed your parents’ for the rest of your life. … Parents should fulfill their responsibilities to their children according to their own conditions and according to the conditions and environment prepared by God. What children should do for their parents is also based on the conditions they can achieve and according to the environment they are in; that is all. Everything parents or children do should not be for the purpose of changing the fate of the other party through one’s own power or selfish desires, so that the other party can live a better, happier, and more ideal life because of their own efforts. Whether it’s parents or children, everyone should let things take their natural course within the environments arranged by God, rather than trying to change things through their own efforts or any personal resolves. The fate of your parents will not be changed because you have these kinds of thoughts concerning them—their fate has long since been ordained by God. God ordained for you to live within the scope of their lives, to be born from them, to be raised by them, and to have this relationship with them. So, your responsibility to them is only to accompany them according to your own conditions and to perform some obligations. As for wanting to change your parents’ current situation, or wanting them to have a better life, that’s all superfluous. Or, to make your neighbors and relatives look up to you, to bring honor to your parents, to secure prestige for your parents within the family—this is even more unnecessary. There are also single mothers or fathers who were left by their spouse and raised you to adulthood on their own. You feel even more how it was difficult for them, and you want to use your whole life to pay them back and compensate them, even to the point of doing whatever they say. What they ask of you, what they expect from you, plus what you are willing to do yourself, all become burdens in this life of yours—this should not be the case. In the presence of the Creator, you are a created being. What you should do in this life is not just to fulfill your responsibilities to your parents, but to fulfill your responsibilities and duties as a created being. You can only fulfill your responsibilities to your parents on the basis of God’s words and the truth principles, not by doing anything for them based on your emotional needs or the needs of your conscience” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (16)). I repeatedly pondered over God’s words and came to understand that a person’s destiny is in the hands of the Creator. The amount of suffering my parents would endure in this life and whether they could live a good life had long since been ordained by God and had little to do with me. It wasn’t that I could change their fate and give them a better life just because I had a higher education and could earn money. My destiny, including whether I could get into college or attain a certain degree, was also ordained by God and was not my parents’ credit. The reason I felt guilty when I thought about having a higher education but not working to earn money to fulfill my filial duties to my parents was because I hadn’t seen through to the fact that human destiny is in God’s hands. I was still living by the satanic poison of “Knowledge can change your fate,” believing that having a higher education and a good job could change my parents’ fate and give them a better life. In fact, could I really change my parents’ fate? I thought of my uncle, who had toiled for most of his life to help his son get into college. In the end, his son got into college and bought a house in the city, and just when it seemed like the family could finally live a good life, my uncle unexpectedly passed away. Then there was my aunt, who had toiled away to put my cousin through college, hoping he would land a good job. But my cousin wasn’t committed to his proper work, and not only did he fail to work properly but he also got scammed. He had taken over a hundred thousand yuan from the family to invest, only to lose the entire principal. There had been many such examples around me, proving that neither parents nor children could change each other’s fate. Whether one has a good life or not is ordained by God, and no amount of personal effort can change this. If I didn’t believe in God, I would similarly follow the trends of the world, getting married, buying a house and a car, having children, and dealing with mortgage and car payments. So how much energy and spare money would I have to fulfill my filial duties to my parents? If I were under significant daily life pressures, I might even have to rely on my parents for support. I thought that because I did my duties and did not work to earn money to observe my filial piety toward my parents, they didn’t have a good life. This is absurd. The conditions of my parents’ lives, the environments they would experience throughout their lives, and the sufferings they would endure are all preordained by God. They have nothing to do with whether I believe in God or do my duties. I should no longer live according to the erroneous views instilled in me by society and my family. Worrying excessively about my parents is foolish and meaningless. As a created being, it is God who gave me life and endowed me with gifts and talents, and arranged various circumstances to broaden my experience and knowledge. Ultimately, He allowed me to hear the Creator’s voice and enjoy the watering and supply of His words. So, I should devote my time and energy to pursuing positive things and helping more people hear God’s voice and receive His salvation. Only this is meaningful and is the responsibility and duty I should fulfill as a created being.

I read another two passages of God’s words: “First of all, most people choose to leave home to perform their duties in part because of the overarching objective circumstances, which necessitate them leaving their parents; they cannot stay by their parents’ side to take care of them and accompany them. It’s not that they willingly choose to leave their parents; this is the objective reason. For another thing, subjectively speaking, you go out to perform your duties not because you wanted to leave your parents and escape your responsibilities, but because of God’s calling. In order to cooperate with God’s work, accept His calling, and perform the duties of a created being, you had no choice but to leave your parents; you could not stay by their side to accompany them and take care of them. You didn’t leave them to avoid responsibilities, right? Leaving them to avoid your responsibilities and having to leave them to answer God’s calling and perform your duties—aren’t these of two different natures? (Yes.) In your heart, you do have emotional attachments and thoughts for your parents; your feelings are not empty. If objective circumstances allow, and you are able to stay by their side while also performing your duties, then you would be willing to stay by their side, regularly taking care of them and fulfilling your responsibilities. But because of objective circumstances, you must leave them; you cannot remain at their side. It’s not that you don’t want to fulfill your responsibilities as their child, but that you can’t. Isn’t this different in nature? (Yes.) If you left home to avoid being filial and fulfilling your responsibilities, that is unfilial and lacks humanity. Your parents raised you, but you can’t wait to spread your wings and quickly go off on your own. You don’t want to see your parents, and you don’t pay any regard when you hear about some difficulty they’ve encountered. Even if you have the means to help, you don’t; you just pretend not to hear and let others say whatever they want about you—you simply don’t want to fulfill your responsibilities. This is being unfilial. But is this the case now? (No.) Many people have left their counties, cities, provinces, or even their countries to perform their duties; they are already far away from their hometowns. Furthermore, it’s not convenient for them to stay in touch with their families for various reasons. Occasionally, they inquire about their parents’ current situation from people who came from the same hometown and feel relieved when they hear that their parents are still healthy and getting by okay. In fact, you are not unfilial; you haven’t reached the point of lacking humanity, where you don’t even want to care about your parents or fulfill your responsibilities toward them. It’s because of various objective reasons that you have to make this choice, so you’re not unfilial” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (16)). “If you abide by a truth principle, idea, or view that is correct and comes from God, your life will become very relaxed. Neither public opinion, nor the awareness of your conscience, nor the burden of your feelings will impede how you handle your relationship with your parents anymore; by contrast, these things will enable you to face this relationship in a correct and rational way. If you act according to the truth principles that God has given man, even if people criticize you behind your back, you will still feel peace and calm in the depths of your heart, and it will have no effect on you. At the very least, you will not berate yourself for being an uncaring ingrate or feel the accusation of your conscience anymore in the depths of your heart. This is because you will know that all of your actions are carried out in accordance with the methods that God has taught you, and that you are listening to and submitting to God’s words, and following His way. Listening to God’s words and following His way is the sense of conscience that people ought to possess most of all. You will only be a true person when you can do these things. If you have not accomplished these things, then you are an uncaring ingrate” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (17)). Reading these two passages of God’s words, I was deeply touched. Tears flowed from my eyes uncontrollably. God understands us so well. He knows that we are deeply misled and harmed by various wicked and erroneous ideas from family and society, leaving our spirits unliberated. So, He expresses the truth to help us gradually see through the essence of these matters and view them with correct and rational perspectives. I had heard the voice of the Creator and chosen to preach the gospel and do my duties to allow more people to receive God’s salvation. This is the most righteous and meaningful thing to do, and it is my responsibility and mission. I shouldn’t condemn myself for not being able to be filial toward my parents, especially since I wasn’t intentionally neglecting my responsibilities as a child or being unfilial in conditions where I could fulfill these responsibilities. After understanding this, I no longer felt guilty or self-reproachful. I saw that only by viewing people and things according to God’s words can one avoid bias and error. I have come to understand both my responsibilities and obligations toward my parents and my responsibilities and mission as a created being, as well as the true value and meaning of human life.

Having gone through this experience, I feel that God’s words are truly wonderful. It is God’s words that have guided me out of traditional culture, allowing my heart to feel a sense of relief and freedom. Now I feel much more at ease. When I have free time, I am able to ponder over more of God’s words and know my lackings, and my thoughts are more focused on matters related to my duties.