By Owen, Spain

In 2021, Sister Sofia and I were in charge of the church’s video work. She had more technical skills and experience than me, so I’d reach out to her to seek fellowship whenever I ran into problems or difficulties. Once when working on a video, I made a pretty basic mistake, and she came to help me resolve it when she found out. While handling it she asked me, “You’ve been doing this duty for a while, how could you have made such a simple mistake?” I felt some internal resistance—she questioned me that way right off the bat, as if I was really unskilled. Was she looking down on me, and deliberately taking aim at me? I did fix the problem later, but I felt defiant as I did it. A few days after that, some brothers and sisters had similar problems. When summarizing the issues of work in a gathering, Sofia used my mistake as an example for analysis. I felt even more resistant to her then, thinking, “After all, I am one of the supervisors, so what will everyone think of me with your talking about my mistake in front of everyone? Will they still respect me? It seems like you are deliberately embarrassing me.” I didn’t want to talk to her anymore after that, and I didn’t want to ask her about problems I was struggling to solve. In our work discussions I’d leave as soon as we were done, not wanting another word with her. When she sought me out to discuss each other’s states, I’d just force myself to say a couple of things to deal with her, and I couldn’t wait for her to wrap up quickly.

Later on, I was dismissed from my position for pursuing fame and status instead of doing real work. After a while, Sofia asked about my state and I opened up in fellowship about my reflection and understanding after being dismissed. I thought she would comfort and encourage me, but surprisingly she said, “You’ve been more proactive in your duty lately, but your understanding is superficial. You haven’t really reflected on and understood the root of your failures. I spoke about it with another sister, and she agreed.” It was embarrassing to hear her expose my problems so directly. I thought, “You aren’t considering my feelings at all. Saying this in front of the brothers and sisters, aren’t you deliberately trying to hurt my image?” I was filled with resistance, and didn’t listen to a word she said from then on. I gave her a brief response, but I was holding onto lots of anger. I thought that since she treated me like that, I’d give her a taste of her own medicine next time I had a chance. From then on, aside from things we had to discuss about work, I did my best not to talk to her. I didn’t even want to hear her voice anymore.

One afternoon, a sister messaged in our group chat that she needed to talk to me urgently. I was working on a video and didn’t see the message in time, which held up the work. Sofia found out about that and called to ask why I hadn’t responded promptly, then said, “I see you still have the same old problem. You don’t respond quickly to messages and sometimes we can’t find you. This project you’re in charge of is really important—don’t delay it anymore….” But I felt really resistant, thinking, “I was irresponsible in my duty before, just focusing on my own work, but after being dismissed I’ve given attention to turning things around. Isn’t saying that to me just negating all my recent hard work? Are you looking down on me and thinking I don’t pursue the truth?” My bias against her grew. Sometimes when I saw that she’d messaged me about work, I didn’t even want to respond. Before long, the leader asked us to write an assessment of Sofia. I felt like my chance had come. She was always exposing me, but this time I could expose her problems and let her know what it felt like to lose face. So I listed out her issues in detail and focused on how she was dismissive of my feelings in her words and actions, plus the ways she didn’t do real work. After reading our evaluations, the leader pointed out Sofia’s problems to her, and Sofia made a conscious effort to change. But I still couldn’t let go of my bias against her. So once, I used the chance to fellowship on God’s words in a gathering to vent the bias and opinions that I held against her. During that gathering we had fellowshipped on behaviors related to constraining others, and I thought about how Sophia never considered my feelings in anything she said, so I wanted to call her out to let everyone see she had many issues too, and wasn’t any better than me. I subtly exposed her, saying, “Someone may be a supervisor and have technical skills, but can still be disrespectful in how they speak and how they point out others’ problems. Sometimes they can even take a very judgmental tone, saying this and that is wrong with someone, which can make that person feel constrained in their duty. That’s also constraining people, and indirectly disturbing church life. We also need discernment of this kind of person.” I felt like I’d gotten to vent, but there was silence for quite a few minutes—no one shared more fellowship. I felt kind of uneasy—I was worried that my fellowship might not have been appropriate. But then I thought, everything I’d said had been true, so there couldn’t have been anything improper about it. I put it out of my mind.

Surprisingly, a few days later, the leader called me and fellowshipped that I’d been judgmental of Sofia in a roundabout way in that gathering, and that this was attacking and condemning her. That could be hurtful for her, and could have gotten some brothers and sisters to take my side, becoming biased against Sofia and being unable to cooperate with her in work. It was undermining and disruptive. I was really nervous and afraid when hearing the leader’s dissection. I knew that God’s words say casually condemning and dissecting someone in a gathering is disrupting and disturbing church life, and that it’s doing evil. I knew the nature of this matter was grave. When our conversation was over, I found some relevant words from God right away. God’s words say: “The phenomenon of someone being arbitrarily condemned, labeled and tormented often occurs in every church. For example, some people harbor a prejudice against a certain leader or worker and, in order to get revenge, make comments about them behind their back, exposing and dissecting them under the guise of fellowshipping about the truth. The intent and goals behind such actions are wrong. If one is really fellowshipping on the truth to give testimony for God and to benefit others, they should fellowship on their own true experiences, and bring benefit to others by dissecting and knowing themselves. Such practice yields better results, and God’s chosen people will approve of it. If one’s fellowship exposes, attacks, and belittles another person in an attempt to strike at or get revenge on them, then the intent of the fellowship is wrong, it is unjustified, loathed by God and not edifying to the brothers and sisters. If someone’s intent is to condemn others, to torment them, then they are an evil person and they are doing evil. All God’s chosen people should have discernment when it comes to evil people. If someone willfully attacks, exposes, or belittles people, then they should be helped lovingly, fellowshipped with and dissected, or pruned. If they are unable to accept the truth, and stubbornly refuse to mend their ways, then this is a different matter entirely. When it comes to evil people who often arbitrarily condemn, label and torment others, they should be thoroughly exposed, so that everyone may learn to discern them. Then, they should be restricted or expelled from the church. This is essential, as such people disturb the life and work of the church, and they are likely to mislead people and bring chaos upon the church” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (15)). “Attack and retaliation is one type of action and revelation which comes from a malicious satanic nature. It is also a kind of corrupt disposition. People think like this: ‘If you are unkind to me, I’ll do wrong to you! If you don’t treat me with dignity, why would I treat you with dignity?’ What sort of thinking is this? Is it not a retaliatory way of thinking? In the views of an ordinary person, is this not a valid perspective? Does it not hold water? ‘I will not attack unless I am attacked; if I am attacked, I will certainly counterattack,’ and ‘Here’s a taste of your own medicine’—the nonbelievers often say such things; among them, these are all rationales that hold water and completely conform to human notions. Yet how should those who believe in God and pursue the truth view these words? Are these ideas correct? (No.) Why are they not correct? How should they be discerned? Where do these things originate? (From Satan.) They originate from Satan, of this there is no doubt. Which of Satan’s dispositions do they come from? They come from the malicious nature of Satan; they contain venom, and they contain the true face of Satan in all its maliciousness and ugliness. They contain this kind of nature essence. What is the character of the perspectives, thoughts, revelations, speech, and even actions that contain that kind of nature essence? Without any doubt, it is man’s corrupt disposition—it is the disposition of Satan. Are these satanic things in line with God’s words? Are they in line with the truth? Do they have a basis in God’s words? (No.) Are they the actions that followers of God should do, and the thoughts and points of view that they should possess? Are these thoughts and courses of action in line with the truth? (No.) Seeing as these things are not in line with the truth, are they in line with the conscience and reason of normal humanity? (No.)” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only Resolving One’s Corrupt Disposition Can Bring About True Transformation). When I compared the way I’d behaved with what God’s words exposed, I felt really afraid. In my interactions with Sofia, when she had used the mistake in my work as an example and analyzed it in front of everyone, I’d felt like I’d been humiliated and I’d hated her and hadn’t wanted to speak with her. In discussions about work I’d just brushed her off. When she’d seen my issues and so bluntly pointed out my shortcomings, and even spoken to another supervisor about my problems, I’d been so angry. I felt like in an instant, she had ruined the good image I’d worked so hard to establish, and I felt such resistance that I didn’t even want to hear her voice. When she mentioned I hadn’t responded to messages in time and warned me not to hold up work like before, I felt like she was delimiting me, denying that I’d changed, and deliberately making things hard on me. So I was venting my frustration through my duty, intentionally not responding to her. My bias against Sofia got more and more intense; I was full of resentment for her. When the leader had asked us to write an assessment of her, I’d abused the opportunity to air a personal grievance, highlighting her faults so the leader would prune or even dismiss her, and I’d vent my frustration. Wanting to take revenge on her, I’d taken the opportunity during fellowship on God’s words to judge her as having poor humanity, inciting the others to discern and isolate her so I could vent my ire. I saw that I had revealed a vicious disposition. I knew that Sofia pointing out my issues was her being responsible for the work of the church and helping me know myself, but I hadn’t remotely accepted or submitted to this. I had thrown a tantrum and used my duty to vent my frustration, even using my fellowship on God’s words to attack and suppress her. By doing so, I was trying to form a clique, disrupting and disturbing church life. Just because a few words from Sofia had hurt my pride, I’d attacked her in revenge, seeking to punish her. I was so terrifying! God’s words say: “If believers are just as casual and unrestrained in their speech and conduct as nonbelievers are, then they are even more wicked than nonbelievers; they are archetypal demons” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. A Warning to Those Who Do Not Practice the Truth). I’d eaten and drunk so much of God’s word, but I couldn’t even accept a few correct suggestions. Was I really a believer? I had always been following these satanic philosophies: “If you’re unkind, I won’t be fair” and “I will not attack unless I am attacked; if I am attacked, I will certainly counterattack.” I was just venting my discontent without having a God-fearing heart at all. What I was living out was a satanic corrupt disposition, without a speck of human likeness at all. I was feeling really guilty and upset, so I prayed to God, wanting to repent and let go of my bias against Sofia. For a few days, when I had the time, I thought about why it was that we got along well in the beginning, but now I had gotten so irritable with her. I knew she was speaking the truth in pruning me—maybe she’d been harsh in her tone, but it wasn’t a big deal. Why couldn’t I accept it, and why could I even attack her to get revenge?

I saw a passage from God’s words in my seeking: “When antichrists encounter being pruned, they often show great resistance, and then they start to try their best to argue for themselves, and use sophistry and eloquence to mislead people. This is quite common. The manifestation of antichrists refusing to accept the truth completely exposes their satanic nature of hating and being averse to the truth. They belong purely to Satan’s kind. No matter what antichrists do, their disposition and essence are laid bare. Especially in the house of God, everything they do goes against the truth, is condemned by God, and is an evil deed that resists God, and all of these things that they do fully confirm that the antichrists are Satans and demons. Therefore, they are definitely not happy and certainly unwilling when it comes to accepting being pruned, but in addition to resistance and opposition, they also hate pruning, hate those who prune them, and hate those who expose their nature essence and who expose their evil deeds. Antichrists think that whoever exposes them is simply giving them a hard time, so they compete and fight with anyone who exposes them. Due to this kind of nature of antichrists, they will never be kind to anyone who prunes them, nor will they tolerate or put up with anyone who does so, much less will they feel gratitude or praise anyone who does so. On the contrary, if anyone prunes them and makes them lose dignity and face, they will harbor hatred for this person in their hearts, and will want to find an opportunity to take revenge on them. What hatred they have for others! This is what they think, and they will say openly in front of others, ‘Today you have pruned me, well, now our feud is written in stone. You go your way, and I’ll go mine, but I swear I’ll get my revenge! If you confess your fault to me, bow your head to me, or kneel down and beg me, I will forgive you, otherwise I will never let this go!’ No matter what antichrists say or do, they never see anyone’s kind pruning of them or anyone’s sincere help as the arrival of God’s love and salvation. Instead, they see it as a sign of humiliation, and as the moment when they were most shamed. This shows that antichrists do not accept the truth at all, that their disposition is one of being averse to and hating the truth” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Eight)). I saw from God’s words that the attitude of antichrists toward being pruned is to reject it outright, to argue their way out of it, to be defiant, and even to see the person pruning them as an enemy, and so they seek out opportunities to attack and take revenge. They are averse to the truth and hate it by nature; they will never accept it. What Sofia said about my problems and the deviations in my work was all true, so no matter what tone she took or what method she employed, it was to help me know myself, not to intentionally target me. Clearly, I wasn’t being conscientious or practical in my duty, nor was I taking on responsibility in following up on work, which had led to some problems in our videos. Sofia was analyzing and dissecting these problems, in order that we wouldn’t make the same mistakes again and hold up the progress of the whole work. She also noticed that my self-understanding after my dismissal had been pretty superficial, and had pointed that out to me out of kindness. This was to help me know myself better and truly repent. But with her pointing out my problems and helping me time after time, not only had I been ungrateful, but I’d thought she was intentionally shaming me and wounding my dignity. I’d really resented her and had started treating her like an enemy, going out of my way to find opportunities for revenge. I’d even incited others to isolate and reject her. My deeds were those of an antichrist. Antichrists eat up any flattery, and they absolutely love anyone who sings their praises. But the more honest someone is, the more they suppress and punish them. Whoever offends them or hurts their interests will bear the brunt, and they won’t rest until that person begs for forgiveness. This causes disturbances and harm to the church’s work and others’ life entry. They end up permanently eliminated by God for doing all that evil, and for offending God’s disposition. What Sofia said had hurt my sense of reputation and status, so I’d wanted to take revenge. It seemed like the only way for me to be appeased would be to punish her until she acknowledged her wrong and stopped “provoking” me. I was really malicious! I was averse to the truth and on an antichrist’s path. If I didn’t change my antichrist disposition, when I got a position, I knew I’d do even more evil, punishing and suppressing even more people, and I’d end up cursed and punished by God. I could see the consequences were really frightening. So I prayed to God, seeking a path of practice and entry.

I read this in God’s words later: “If you are someone who fears God and shuns evil, you will feel that you need the supervision of God’s chosen ones, and that even more than that, you need their assistance. If you are an evil person, and you have a guilty conscience, you will fear being supervised and try to avoid it; this is inevitable. Therefore, there is no doubt that all who resist and feel averse toward the supervision of God’s chosen ones have something to hide, and are definitely not honest people; no one fears supervision more than deceitful people. So what attitude should leaders and workers adopt toward the supervision of God’s chosen ones? Should it be negativity, guardedness, resistance, and resentment or obedience toward God’s orchestrations and arrangements, and humble acceptance? (Humble acceptance.) What does humble acceptance refer to? It means accepting everything from God, seeking the truth, adopting the right attitude, and not being impetuous. If someone really does discover a problem with you and points it out to you, helping you to discern and understand it, assisting you in solving this issue, then they are being responsible toward you, and being responsible toward the work of God’s house and the life entry of God’s chosen ones; this is the right thing to do, and it is perfectly natural and justified. If there are those who regard supervision of the church as originating from Satan, and from malicious intentions, then they are devils and Satans. With such a devilish nature, they certainly would not accept the scrutiny of God. If someone truly loves the truth, they will have the correct understanding of God’s chosen ones’ supervision, they will be able to regard it as being done out of love, as coming from God, and they will be able to accept it from God. They will definitely not be impetuous or act on impulse, much less will resistance, guardedness, or suspicion appear in their heart. The most correct attitude with which to approach the supervision of God’s chosen ones is this: Any words, actions, supervision, observation, or correction—even pruning—that are helpful to you, you should accept from God; don’t be impetuous. Being impetuous comes from the evil, from Satan, it does not come from God, and it is not the attitude that people should have toward the truth” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (7)). I learned from God’s words that there’s no malice in brothers and sisters pointing out my problems and deviations. They’re not making fun of me, but are taking responsibility for the work of the church and my life entry. No matter how much or how little I understand of the problems they expose, I should accept it from God, first accepting and submitting, not dwelling on things or being temperamental and vengeful. Even if I can’t entirely understand the things they say, I should pray to God and continue to reflect, or find experienced brothers and sisters for fellowship. That’s the attitude of accepting the truth. I remembered how I’d exposed Sofia indirectly in a gathering—some brothers and sisters who didn’t know the reality then could have developed a bias against her, which would have impacted their cooperation with her in their duties. So, in a gathering I laid myself bare and dissected my actions based on God’s words, so others would have discernment over what I’d done. Sofia sought me out to talk about work later, and I opened up to her about my bias, my disposition that was averse to the truth, as well as my malicious motives. I saw she didn’t seem to blame or hate me at all. I felt so ashamed. Sofia and I got along much better again after that. When she brought up my issues, I no longer cared so much about her tone of voice—I knew if it was good for my duty, I needed to accept it first of all. Sometimes I lacked knowledge in the moment, but I’d pray to God and let go of myself, not caring about face or arguing my own case, and I’d gradually come to an understanding. Working with her this way, I felt much more relaxed over time.

Later, I worked on a video in a rush to meet the deadline, not seeking principles, which meant there were problems that required the work to be redone. A supervisor, Sister Nora, sent me a private message asking me to fix it, after which I thought it would just pass like this. But I was surprised to see that during a work summary, my mistakes were brought up for analysis again. I thought her talking about my mistakes in front of everyone was embarrassing! I started to feel biased against Nora, like she was making a big deal out of nothing and wasn’t taking my dignity into account. I wanted to find a reason to defend myself, to save face in front of everyone. But then I realized that my state was incorrect, and I immediately prayed to God to rebel against myself. After prayer, I calmed down a little. I thought: The work had to be redone because I’d been cutting corners. Nora was fellowshipping on it to give me a reminder, so I could reflect on my own attitude toward my duty. At the same time, brothers and sisters could also use it as a warning so they wouldn’t make the same mistake. She was protecting the interests of the church. If I made excuses and justified myself to save face, and became biased against Nora, wouldn’t I be averse to the truth and refusing to accept it? I knew I couldn’t keep acting on the basis of a corrupt disposition. So, I opened up in fellowship to everyone about the details of the mistakes I’d made. When I was done, they shared some helpful ways to approach those kinds of issues, and in my later video production, I followed their suggestions and avoided making the same mistakes. I truly experienced that accepting brothers’ and sisters’ suggestions can prevent some unnecessary missteps and improve work efficiency. Also, it can help me know myself and be beneficial to my own life entry.

Through this I’ve truly experienced that it’s important to have an attitude of submission when being pruned. If what the others say is right and in line with the truth, I should put aside my pride and accept it and submit unconditionally. But if I just stubbornly reject and resist being pruned, and become biased or even attack others in revenge, that’s the behavior of an evil person and an antichrist, and I’ll be condemned and eliminated by God if I don’t repent. Before, hardly anyone had pointed out my problems to me so directly, and I didn’t know myself. I thought I had good humanity and could accept the truth. Now I see I am averse to the truth and don’t have good humanity. What I’ve gained and learned today is all thanks to the judgment and exposure of God’s words. Thank God!