By Jessica, Japan

Over the past few years, I’ve been watering newcomers from a foreign country in the church. Since I had experience with watering work and spoke a little of their language, brothers and sisters often asked me for help when they had problems related to watering newcomers, and they usually accepted my suggestions. Sometimes, the brothers and sisters didn’t know how to resolve some of the newcomers’ problems, but I could easily resolve them. Therefore, I believed that my caliber was good and my working abilities were above average. Soon, I was elected as a supervisor and was responsible for arranging and making final decisions on matters small and large in the watering work. I enjoyed this feeling very much.

Later, as the number of newcomers who needed watering increased, the church arranged for a sister named Emily to collaborate with me and share responsibility for the work. During our first gathering, Emily discussed her ideas and opinions on the existing problems in the watering work. The brothers and sisters all agreed with her, but I felt uncomfortable. I hadn’t expected that, despite doing this duty for a short time, Emily was quite insightful with regard to professional matters. Before she joined us, everyone would listen to me during discussions, but now, she had shown up and stolen the limelight from me. In the future, once she had spent a long time with the brothers and sisters, showcasing more of her strengths and advantages, everyone would definitely hold her in high regard, which would jeopardize my status within the group. The more I dwelled on this, the more worried I was. One day, the leader reviewed the work together with us. He noticed that the newcomers Emily watered were gathering fairly normally, and many were doing their duties, while many of the newcomers I watered were not gathering normally, and few were doing their duties. Seeing this situation, the leader asked me to assign some of the work I was responsible for to Emily. When I heard this, I felt overwhelming resistance in my heart, thinking, “Although the results of the work I’m in charge of aren’t too good, if I just put in more effort, these issues will all see improvement and be resolved sooner or later. Why should I assign my work to Emily? If the brothers and sisters learn about this, what will they think of me? They will surely think that my working abilities are not up to par. How could I remain in the group then? Moreover, if Emily gets involved in the work I’m responsible for and everyone starts listening to her, who will listen to me? Wouldn’t that turn me from a supervisor into a figurehead?” But the leader had already made this arrangement and I could not reject him outright, so I reluctantly assigned some less important tasks to Emily. I usually wouldn’t proactively meet with her to discuss the work, and sometimes when she sent me messages, I was unwilling to respond after reading them.

Soon after, I learned that a brother named Hunter was in a bad state, so I prepared to support and help him, but unexpectedly, Emily told me she had already fellowshipped with Hunter. I was a bit upset, thinking, “I have always been the one who fellowshipped with Hunter, and now you went and fellowshipped with him without mentioning it to me; isn’t it clear that you’re trying to compete with me?” Especially when Hunter said during a gathering that Emily’s fellowship was very beneficial to him and helped him gain some understanding of his corrupt disposition, I felt extremely uncomfortable. I thought, “Hunter once mentioned that my fellowships contained lots of doctrines, while now he admires Emily for pointing out his problems in her fellowship. If things go on like this, won’t it be obvious which one of us is better? Everyone will surely think Emily understands the truth and has reality, and they’ll think more highly of her in the future. Won’t that endanger my status in the group?” From then on, I saw Emily as my biggest threat. I became very protective of the work I was directly responsible for, not giving her any chances to participate. The leader typically asked us to discuss work together, but I was unwilling to involve her, feeling that it would be degrading and make me look incompetent. Hadn’t I been managing this work just fine without her? So, I made excuses and refused her participation, telling the leader that I had already handled things, or that the issues were not that complicated and I could solve them alone, that discussing things further with Emily would just hold things up, and so on. I made all sorts of excuses to exclude her from my work. One time, I had just finished talking to a sister named Joan about her work situation when Emily went to ask her about the same thing. Joan felt a bit annoyed, saying that repeatedly communicating about the work felt a little like a waste of time. I knew very well that this was because I hadn’t communicated properly with Emily beforehand, but instead of reflecting on my problem, I was secretly delighted, thinking, “Exactly! Involving Emily is indeed redundant. If everyone dislikes her, then she won’t be a threat to my status anymore.” So, I went along with Joan and said, “It really does hold things up a bit.” During work discussions, when some brothers and sisters suggested having Emily get involved, I had no choice but to agree so as to save face. But on the inside, I was extremely unwilling. I thought, “Emily, Emily! Now she’s the only one you care about. Is it impossible to proceed with the work without her? Before she joined us, I was the one making decisions, and the work was not delayed at all!” Every time I heard the brothers and sisters mention Emily’s name, I became particularly sensitive, wondering if they all thought highly of her. As soon as she was around, I immediately became guarded, like a hedgehog with its spines up, ready to defend my status at any moment. Due to my efforts to obstruct her, Emily couldn’t integrate into the work at all and had no idea how to collaborate with me, which made her very upset. I realized that her poor state had a lot to do with me, and I felt a prick of guilt. However, I then thought, “If you can’t integrate, then stay out of my work. It’d be nice if we could each do our own thing and not interfere with each other.” I even wished that God would arrange the circumstances for Emily to be reassigned elsewhere so that I could have peace of mind. During that time, I lived in a state of resistance and exclusion toward Emily, often feeling inexplicably irritable and tired. I became increasingly negative, and my heart grew darker. I prayed to God, “Oh God, ever since I started collaborating with Emily, I’ve always wanted to compete with her and worried that she might overtake me. I know this state is not right, but I cannot see through the essence of my problem. Please enlighten me so that I can understand myself.”

One day, I read a passage of God’s words that exposed antichrists and gained some understanding of myself. Almighty God says: “One of the most obvious characteristics of the essence of an antichrist is that they monopolize power and run their own dictatorships: They do not listen to anyone, they do not respect anyone, and regardless of people’s strengths, or what correct views or wise opinions they may express, or what suitable methods they might put forward, they pay them no heed; it is as if no one is qualified to cooperate with them, or to take part in anything they do. This is the kind of disposition antichrists have. Some people say this is being of bad humanity—but how could it be commonplace bad humanity? This is an entirely satanic disposition, and such a disposition is supremely vicious. Why do I say that their disposition is supremely vicious? Antichrists expropriate everything from the house of God and the property of the church, and treat them as their personal property, all of which is to be managed by them, and they do not permit anyone else to intervene in this. The only things they think about when doing the work of the church are their own interests, their own status, and their own pride. They do not allow anyone to harm their interests, much less do they allow anyone of caliber or anyone who is able to speak of their experiential testimony to threaten their reputation and status. And so, they try to suppress and exclude as competitors those who are able to speak of experiential testimony, and who can fellowship the truth and provide for God’s chosen people, and they desperately try to isolate those people completely from everyone else, to drag their names thoroughly through the mud, and to bring them down. Only then will the antichrists feel at peace. … In fact, these people have some experiential testimony and possess some of the truth reality. They are of relatively good humanity, have conscience and reason, and are able to accept the truth. And though they may have some shortcomings, deficiencies, and occasional revelations of a corrupt disposition, they are capable of reflecting on themselves and repenting. These people are the ones whom God will save, and who have hope of being made perfect by God. In sum, these people are suited to doing a duty. They satisfy the requirements and principles for doing a duty. But the antichrists think to themselves, ‘There’s no way I’m going to put up with this. You want to have a role in my domain, to compete with me. That’s impossible; don’t even think about it. You’re more educated than me, more articulate than me, more popular than me, and you pursue the truth with greater diligence than I do. If I were to cooperate with you and you stole my thunder, what would I do then?’ Do they consider the interests of the house of God? No” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). God exposes that antichrists attach particular importance to status and power, not allowing anyone to harm their interests. If they see someone better than themselves threatening their status, they suppress and exclude that person. Comparing this to my behavior, I realized I was acting just like an antichrist. Seeing that Emily not only fellowshipped on the truth and resolved problems better than I did, but also was quite insightful when it came to our profession, I worried that collaborating with her would prevent me from showing myself off. Therefore, I excluded her and refused to let her take part in my work, all to protect my status and avoid having to distribute my power. The leader arranged for Emily and me to divide the work up and collaborate with each other, which was done in consideration of the watering work’s results. However, I resisted this in my heart. Even if I reluctantly agreed to involve her, I only gave her some less important tasks, afraid that if everyone listened to her I’d lose my status in the group. When Hunter’s state was poor, Emily promptly fellowshipped with him to resolve it, but instead of being pleased, I made all sorts of excuses to suppress her in order to protect my status, and prevent her from getting involved in the work I was responsible for. When Joan was critical of Emily, I covertly rejoiced, hoping everyone would become biased against her so that she would no longer constitute a threat to my status. Because of my exclusion, Emily couldn’t get involved in the work I was responsible for, which affected her state. I didn’t reflect on myself, instead wishing she would leave immediately. I was so autocratic, with such a strong desire for status. To maintain my status and power, I excluded and suppressed Emily in everything I did without considering the church work at all. I was really so selfish and despicable, and I had no humanity. My behavior was the precise manifestation of an antichrist’s disposition!

Later, I read another passage of God’s words which helped me gain some understanding about the consequences of my actions. God’s words say: “When people have satanic dispositions, they can rebel against and oppose God in any time and at any place. People who live by satanic dispositions can deny, oppose, and betray God at any time. The antichrists are very stupid, they don’t realize this, they think, ‘I had enough trouble getting hold of power, why would I share it with anyone else? Giving it to others means I won’t have any for myself, doesn’t it? How can I demonstrate my talents and abilities without power?’ They do not know that what God has entrusted people with is not power or status, but a duty. Antichrists only accept power and status, they put their duties aside, and they don’t do actual work. Instead, they only pursue fame, gain and status, and only want to seize power, control God’s chosen people, and indulge in the benefits of status. Doing things this way is very dangerous—this is opposing God! Anyone who pursues fame, gain and status rather than properly doing their duty is playing with fire and playing with their life. Those who play with fire and their lives can doom themselves at any moment. Today, as a leader or a worker, you are serving God, which is no ordinary thing. You are not doing things for some person, much less working to pay bills and put food on the table; instead, you are performing your duty in the church. And given, in particular, that this duty came from God’s commission, what does performing it imply? That you are accountable to God for your duty, whether you do it well or not; ultimately, an account must be given to God, there must be an outcome. What you have accepted is God’s commission, a hallowed responsibility, so no matter how important or minor this responsibility is, it is a serious business. How serious is it? On a small scale it involves whether you can gain the truth in this lifetime and it involves how God views you. On a larger scale, it directly relates to your prospects and destiny, to your outcome; if you commit evil and oppose God, you will be condemned and punished. Everything you do when you perform your duty is recorded by God, and God has His own principles and standards for how it is scored and evaluated; God determines your outcome based on all that is manifested by you as you perform your duty” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). God’s words clearly explain the consequences of antichrists pursuing status. Antichrists do not pursue the truth, only pursuing reputation and status; they hold power and status above all else, grasping onto power and refusing to let go, wanting to be the sole authority and not allowing anyone else to take part in their work. Ultimately, they are revealed and eliminated for resisting God. Thinking of myself, after being elected as the supervisor of the watering work, I called all the shots on work matters small and large. Everyone came to me to ask about their issues and listened to me, and I particularly enjoyed this feeling of being a decision-maker. After Emily joined us, I noticed that she was more outstanding than me in many areas. I was worried that everyone would start going to her with their problems, causing me to lose my voice and decision-making power among them, and so I excluded her in every possible way. Whether it was the leader asking me to divide up the work and collaborate with her or the brothers and sisters wanting her to join in work discussions, I resisted it in my heart. I even made excuses to push her out, not letting her participate in the work and wanting to dominate the group so that brothers and sisters would only listen to me when they had problems. The church had assigned me such an important duty, yet I never thought about how to do the work well. Rather, I spent all my time thinking about how not to be outshined by Emily and how to maintain my status. My desire for reputation and status was too strong. God says: “Anyone who pursues fame, gain and status rather than properly doing their duty is playing with fire and playing with their life. Those who play with fire and their lives can doom themselves at any moment” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). Reading God’s words, I became especially fearful, realizing that God’s disposition is righteous and does not tolerate being offended. If I continued pursuing fame, gain and status without repenting and kept excluding and attacking Emily, I could only end up offending God’s disposition and being revealed and eliminated. I also thought of those antichrists who had been expelled from the church. When someone was better than them and posed a threat to their status, they saw that person as an enemy and used various despicable means to suppress, exclude, and torment them and achieve their goal of sole power. Ultimately, they were expelled from the church for their numerous evil deeds. Similarly, the Chinese Communist Party, in order to consolidate its regime, desperately wants everyone to bow down to it. It is ruthless toward those who could pose a threat to its position and wants to eliminate them completely, attempting to keep status and power firmly in its grip forever. Looking at myself, were my actions to consolidate my status by excluding Emily any different in nature from those of antichrists and the great red dragon? This realization scared me, and I prayed to God in repentance, asking Him to guide me to resolve my problems.

A few days later, a sudden typhoon warning was issued in Emily’s region. During our meeting before the typhoon hit, she felt deeply moved, saying, “When disaster strikes, I feel that the opportunity to do my duty is so precious. But I haven’t seized this opportunity or given my best to satisfy God. …” Hearing this, I felt deeply self-reproachful. During this time, I had been competing with Emily for fame and gain, excluding her in every way to maintain my status and not collaborating with her properly or doing my duty well. I suddenly felt sorry for both Emily and God. I prayed silently to God in my heart, “Oh God, if I don’t have another opportunity to collaborate with Emily in the future, I’ll be left with nothing but regret. If I could start over, I would seize the opportunity to collaborate properly with her.” That afternoon, I learned that the typhoon had passed, and that Emily’s region was unaffected. I constantly thanked God for His protection.

Afterward, I prayed to God, seeking a path to practice and entry. I read God’s words that say: “Regardless of what the direction or target of your pursuit is, if you do not reflect on the pursuit of status and reputation, and if you find it very difficult to put these things aside, then they will affect your life entry. As long as status has a place in your heart, it will totally control and influence your life’s direction and the goals you strive for, in which case it will be very difficult for you to enter the truth reality, to say nothing of achieving changes in your disposition; whether you are ultimately able to gain God’s approval, of course, goes without saying. What’s more, if you are never able to put aside your pursuit of status, this will affect your ability to adequately do your duty, which will make it very difficult for you to become an acceptable created being. Why do I say this? God loathes nothing more than when people pursue status, because the pursuit of status is a satanic disposition, it is a wrong path, it is born of the corruption of Satan, it is something condemned by God, and it is the very thing that God judges and purifies. God loathes nothing more than when people pursue status, and yet you still mulishly compete for status, you unfailingly cherish and protect it, always trying to take it for yourself. And in nature, is all of this not antagonistic to God? Status is not ordained for people by God; God provides people with the truth, the way, and the life, and ultimately makes them become an acceptable created being, a small and insignificant created being—not someone who has status and prestige and is revered by thousands of people” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Nine (Part Three)). After reading God’s words, I understood that pursuing reputation and status is completely contrary to God’s intentions. The more one pursues status, the more God detests them, and the further they stray from His requirements. They will ultimately resist God more and more, which leads to Him punishing and eliminating them. A true created being should conscientiously submit to God’s sovereignty and do their duty in a down-to-earth manner to satisfy God. This is the pursuit that people should have. God favoring me and giving me the opportunity to practice working as a supervisor was meant to help me do my duty properly and harness my strengths to do the work well. It was not to grant me power, much less to allow me to pursue reputation and status. I needed to let go of my ambitions and desires, collaborate properly with Emily, and do my duty well.

Later, I read another passage of God’s words about how to cooperate with others: “What do you say, is it hard to cooperate with other people? It isn’t, actually. You could even say it is easy. But why do people still feel this to be difficult? Because they have corrupt dispositions. For those who possess humanity, conscience, and reason, cooperating with others is relatively easy, and they can feel that this is something joyful. This is because it is not easy for anyone to accomplish things on their own, and whatever the field they’re involved in, or what they’re doing, it is always good to have someone there to point things out and offer assistance—much easier than doing it by themselves. Also, there are limits to what people’s caliber is capable of or what they themselves can experience. No one can be a master of all trades: It is impossible for one person to know everything, to be capable of everything, to accomplish everything—that is impossible, and everyone should possess such reason. And so, no matter what you do, whether it be important or not, you will always need someone there to help you, to give you pointers and advice, or to do things in cooperation with you. This is the only way to ensure that you will do things more correctly, make fewer mistakes and be less likely to go astray—it is a good thing” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). God speaks very clearly on the significance and importance of collaboration. No matter how capable a person is, no one is all-powerful; everyone needs the help of others. Collaboration allows us to make up for each other’s deficiencies and avoid going astray, which benefits the church’s work as well. Cooperating with others and listening to their opinions is something a person with normal humanity and reason should do. Reflecting on myself, although I was the supervisor of the watering work and believed I had some experience and caliber, knew a bit of foreign language, and appeared to be capable of doing some work, I often did my duty using my mind and my experience, rarely seeking the truth principles. Relying on what little I had to do things alone, my perspective on issues was not always accurate or comprehensive, with frequent deviations, and my work results were always rather poor. Compared to me, Emily was of better caliber and understood the truth better. She sought the truth principles when encountering problems, and would reflect on and understand herself when she revealed corruptions. Her strengths were precisely what I lacked. God placed someone better than me by my side to help us complement each other and do our duties well. This was not only beneficial to the church work but also to my own life. It was God showing His love for me. After understanding God’s intention, I prayed to Him, “Oh God, I have always been jealous of Emily and competed with her, even suppressing and ridiculing her. Now, I finally see that You arranged for Emily to work with me to compensate for my shortcomings. I thank You from the bottom of my heart. From now on, I am willing to cooperate properly with Emily and do my duty well, and I will not pursue reputation and status any longer.” After that, I took the initiative to open up to Emily about my corrupt revelations. After fellowshipping, I felt much more at ease, and we grew a bit closer to each other. After that, when doing my duty, I no longer viewed her as a competitor, but as a helper. When there were problems within the group, I proactively communicated and discussed them with her. We sought together when we couldn’t see through something, and we fellowshipped on our insights. This way, we could feel God’s enlightenment and guidance and were able to resolve some real problems.

Not long after, a brother affected the work due to consistently being perfunctory in his duty, and we needed to fellowship with him and dismiss him. I was worried that I couldn’t fellowship with him clearly and point out his problems. I thought that Emily’s fellowshipping on the truth was more illuminating than mine and considered asking her to join me in fellowshipping. However, I was apprehensive, thinking, “If I take the initiative to involve her in my work, wouldn’t that make me appear incompetent?” When this thought arose, I realized my state was not right—I was again trying to protect my reputation and status. So, I prayed to God. I read God’s words that say: “People get results in whichever things they focus on, wherever they put forth effort. If you always focus on doctrine, then you will only obtain doctrine; if you focus on getting status and power, then your status and power might be stable, but you will not have obtained the truth, and you will be eliminated. Regardless of the duty you do, life entry is the important thing. You cannot relax in this regard, nor can you be neglectful” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Six Indicators of Life Growth). “Only when cooperating in harmony can people be blessed before God, and the more of this one experiences, the more reality they possess, their path grows brighter as they walk it, and they become ever more at ease” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. On Harmonious Cooperation). God’s words gave me a clear path to practice; pursuing reputation and status is a path of resisting God and can ultimately only lead to being eliminated. I couldn’t keep worrying about whether my status was secure and whether the brothers and sisters thought highly of me. I ought to consider the church’s work and do what was beneficial to it. Realizing this, I felt relieved, and I invited Emily to join me in fellowshipping with that brother. After fellowshipping, he gained some understanding about the nature of his problems. I finally experienced the joy of collaborating well, as well as the peace and happiness that come from practicing according to the truth. Thanks be to Almighty God!