By Steven, South Korea

I manage church books and items. I typically check whether the various items are categorized and neatly arranged, and whether check-in and check-out records are clear. I fear a mess would be made of things if I were negligent. Brother Cameron, who worked with me, was rather careless and didn’t focus on tidiness. Sometimes, he just threw things down or put them in a pile, so I always worried about him, and always had to check his work. Every time I saw Cameron misplacing things or saw that the check-in and check-out records for the items he wrote were unclear, I got so impatient and angry that I lost my temper and didn’t fellowship to help him. At first, I would consider his feelings and be careful with my tone and wording, but as time went on, I didn’t care about those things, and at every turn, I would tell him that he did this or that wrong. Sometimes I got angry and scolded him, saying, “Why are you putting things in the wrong place again? You put one here and one there. Can’t you put things back where you found them? It would only take a moment to clean up after yourself, but you just have to leave it undone, and you never clean it up afterward.”

My attitude toward Cameron got worse and worse. Sometimes, I’d use a commanding tone to tell him to clean up the mess. I remember once, when I was going over the check-in and check-out records, I found that he had corrected some of them so badly that they were illegible. My temper immediately flared up, and I thought, “I can’t even guess what he wrote here!” I went straight to Cameron. Like a teacher scolding a student, I held out the records and asked what each one was. I said, “Do you know what I want to do right now? I want to take these records to the leader, so that she can see how you do your duty, and how careless you can be!” Cameron had a guilty look on his face, and said he would pay attention in the future. He said this time was an accident and that while he was making the record, someone called him to deal with an urgent matter, so he forgot about it. But I didn’t let him explain. I said angrily, “If something like this happens again, I’ll give the record sheet straight to the leader and let her handle it!” Before long, I saw that one of Cameron’s record sheets had an indistinct smear again. This time, I got even angrier. I went to Cameron to question him, “I already told you, if you make a mistake, rewrite it in another place, don’t just write over it. Look at your correction. Who knows what you wrote? If I can’t see it clearly, I have to come and ask you. Don’t you think this is annoying? Even if you don’t, I do!” When he saw I was angry again, he picked up the record sheet and said, “Then I’ll correct it again.” I yelled angrily, “Don’t bother! This won’t fix it!” I left after I said that, leaving him sitting there alone with the record sheet at a loss. At that point, I realized I had gone a bit too far. But I didn’t give it much thought, and the matter passed. After a few days, I got angry with Cameron again over a trivial matter. He got angry at me too, and we got into an argument.

The leader found that we couldn’t work together harmoniously, so she fellowshipped with me and read me a passage of God’s word: “Whatever duty an antichrist is doing, whomever they’re partnered with, there will always be conflicts and disputes. Some may say, ‘If they’re in charge of cleaning and they tidy up inside every day, what’s there for them to be uncooperative with others about?’ There’s a dispositional problem in it: Whomever they’re interacting with or doing a job with, they’ll always scorn them, always wishing to lecture them, to have them do what they say. Would you say that such a person can be cooperative with others? They can’t be cooperative with anyone; this is because their corrupt disposition is too severe. Not only can’t they cooperate with others, they’re also always lecturing and constraining others from above—they wish always to sit astride people’s shoulders and force their obedience. This isn’t a mere dispositional problem—it’s also a serious problem with their humanity. They have no conscience or reason. … There are certain conditions that must be met for people to get along with each other normally: Before they can cooperate with each other, they must at least have a conscience and reason, and be patient and tolerant. People must be of one mind in order to be able to cooperate in doing a duty; they must draw on the other’s strengths and offset their own weaknesses, and be patient and tolerant, and have a baseline to their comportment. That’s how to get along in harmony, and though there may be conflicts and disputes at times, the cooperation can continue, and at least no enmity will arise. If one person has no such baseline, and isn’t conscientious or reasonable, and does things in a profit-focused way, seeking profit alone, wishing always to profit at others’ expense, cooperation will be impossible. This is how it is among evil people, and among devil kings, who do battle with each other, without cease. The various evil spirits of the spiritual realm don’t get along with each other. Though devils may, at times, form consortia, it’s all about mutual exploitation in order to achieve their own goals. Their consortia are temporary, and before long, they shatter on their own. It’s the same among people. People without humanity are bad apples that ruin the bunch; only those with normal humanity are easy to cooperate with, patient and tolerant of others, able to heed others’ opinions, and able to set aside their status in the work they do, to do it in discussion with others. They, too, have corrupt dispositions, and always wish to make others heed them—they, too, have that intention—but because they have a conscience and reason, and can seek the truth, and know themselves, and feel that doing so is inappropriate, for which they feel reproach, and they are able to curb themselves, their ways and means of doing things will change, bit by bit. And thus, they’ll be able to cooperate with others. They’re revealing a corrupt disposition, but they’re not evil people, and they don’t have the essence of antichrists. They won’t have any major problems cooperating with others. If they were evil people or antichrists, they’d be unable to cooperate with others. This is how all the evil people and antichrists are whom God’s house clears out. They’re unable to cooperate with anyone, and they all get revealed and eliminated as a result” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). After reading God’s word, the leader reminded me saying, “To get along with people, we at least need to respect them. If you yell at Cameron like this and reprimand him all the time, you lack even the most basic respect. Isn’t this overly arrogant of you? You look down on everything he does, and never let his problems go. Is this appropriate? Cameron is busy with work and his memory is bad. Some problems are unavoidable. Shouldn’t you treat him properly and help him more? Moreover, he is constantly improving. But you constantly yelled at him. This is a corrupt disposition; it is also a problem with humanity. Aren’t you just staring at the speck in your brother’s eye but blind to the beam in your own?” Then, the leader read me another passage of God’s word that said: “What do you say, is it hard to cooperate with other people? It isn’t, actually. You could even say it is easy. But why do people still feel this to be difficult? Because they have corrupt dispositions. For those who possess humanity, conscience, and reason, cooperating with others is relatively easy, and they can feel that this is something joyful. This is because it is not easy for anyone to accomplish things on their own, and whatever the field they’re involved in, or what they’re doing, it is always good to have someone there to point things out and offer assistance—much easier than doing it by themselves. Also, there are limits to what people’s caliber is capable of or what they themselves can experience. No one can be a master of all trades: It is impossible for one person to know everything, to be capable of everything, to accomplish everything—that is impossible, and everyone should possess such reason. And so, no matter what you do, whether it be important or not, you will always need someone there to help you, to give you pointers and advice, or to do things in cooperation with you. This is the only way to ensure that you will do things more correctly, make fewer mistakes and be less likely to go astray—it is a good thing” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). After reading God’s words, the leader fellowshipped some more, and finally asked me, “If you were to manage the items by yourself, could you do it without making any mistakes?” In shame, I said, “No.” The leader said, “That’s right. No one knows everything, and everyone needs a partner to perform their duties. If you can’t cooperate harmoniously, how can you do your duty well? You need to contemplate this and reflect on your own problems.”

When I came back, I felt really terrible. How could I be unaware of such a big problem I had? I used to think that my humanity was good and I could get along with my brothers and sisters, but ever since cooperating with Cameron in my duty, I was always self-righteous, thinking that my ideas and actions were right. I imposed my will on him and made him do what I wanted. I didn’t help him by fellowshipping on the truth, I just got angry, accused him, and reprimanded him. I had no humanity or reason! I always felt that I was better than my brother, so I looked down on him. I found him unpleasant, and I couldn’t address his strengths and weaknesses correctly. I showed off at every turn and belittled him. Originally, Cameron and I were responsible for managing church items together, but I didn’t discuss anything with him. I was always self-centered, and had the final say, and I gave orders to Cameron. I often scolded him and lectured him like he was a child. My disposition was too arrogant, and God hated it! I knew that I was arrogant and always forced others to listen to me, but I didn’t know how to solve this problem. I prayed to God and looked for relevant passages of God’s word. I read these words of God: “Antichrists always have the ambition and desire to control and conquer people. This problem is more serious than that of their inability to cooperate with anyone. What sort of people would you say are those who like controlling and conquering others? What sort of person has the ambition and desire to control and conquer others? I’ll give you an example. Do those who particularly like status enjoy controlling and conquering others? Aren’t they the ilk of antichrists? They mislead, control, and subdue other people, who then worship and heed them. They thus gain people’s esteem and respect, and get people to worship and look up to them. Is there not then a place for them in people’s hearts? If people weren’t convinced by them and didn’t approve of them, would they worship them? Absolutely not. So, after these people have status, they still need to convince others, to completely win them over, and to make them admire them. Only then will people worship them. That’s one sort of person. There’s another—those who are particularly arrogant. They treat people in the same way: They begin by subduing people, making everyone worship and admire them. Only then are they satisfied. Very vicious people also like controlling others, having people heed them, be in their orbit, and do things for them. When it comes to both very arrogant people and people with vicious dispositions, once they’ve taken power, they become antichrists. Antichrists always have an ambition and desire to control and conquer others; in their encounters with people, they always wish to ascertain how others see them, and whether there’s a place for them in others’ hearts, and whether others admire and worship them. If they encounter someone who is good at bootlicking, flattery and fawning, they get very happy; they then begin to stand on high, lecturing people and prattling on about high-sounding ideas, inculcating people with regulations, methods, doctrines, and notions. They have people accept these things as the truth, and even put a lovely face on them: ‘If you can accept these things, you’re someone who loves and pursues the truth.’ Undiscerning people will think what they’re saying is reasonable, and though it is indistinct to them, and they do not know whether it’s in line with the truth, they feel only that there’s nothing wrong with what they’re saying, and that it doesn’t violate the truth. And so, they obey the antichrists. If someone is able to discern an antichrist and may expose them, it will rile the antichrist, who will unceremoniously heap blame on them, condemn them, and threaten them, with a show of force. Those without discernment get entirely subdued by the antichrist and admire them from the bottom of their hearts, giving rise in them to worship of the antichrist, reliance on them, and even dread. They have a sense of being enslaved by the antichrist, as if they’d be unsettled at heart if they lost the antichrist’s leadership, teachings, and reproaches. Without these things, it’s as though they’d have no sense of security, and God might not want them anymore. Then, everyone has learned to watch the antichrist’s expression when they act, for fear that the antichrist will be unhappy. They all attempt to please them; such people are dead set on following the antichrist. In their work, antichrists preach words and doctrines. They’re good at teaching people to adhere to certain regulations; they never tell people what the truth principles they should adhere to are, why they must act in this way, what God’s intentions are, what arrangements God’s house has made for the work, what the most essential and important work is, or what the primary work to be done is. Antichrists say nothing at all about these important things. They never fellowship the truth when doing and arranging work. They themselves don’t understand the truth principles, so all they can do is teach people to adhere to a few regulations and doctrines—and if people should go against their sayings and regulations, they’ll face the antichrists’ reprimand and rebuke. Antichrists often do work under the banner of God’s house, rebuking others and lecturing them from a high position. Some people even get so flustered by their lecture that they feel they’re indebted to God by not acting according to the antichrists’ requirements. Have such people not come under the antichrists’ control? (They have.) What sort of behavior is this, on the antichrists’ part? It’s behavior of enslavement” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Eight: They Would Have Others Submit Only to Them, Not the Truth or God (Part One)). What God described was precisely my state. When working with Cameron, I found him to be easy-going. If something went wrong at work, he accepted it when I criticized him and didn’t try to refute it. I thought that he was soft and easy to push around, so I was overbearing toward him, and I had the final say in everything. Many times, when I discussed things with him I was just going through the motions. In the end, I decided what to do. Also, some precautions I formulated for managing items appeared to be unproblematic and help to manage items, but I didn’t formulate these precautions based on relevant principles. Rather, I created them to address Cameron’s problems. You could say they were tailor-made for him. Whenever he failed to follow these precautions, I had an excuse to accuse him and reprimand him, and he had no way to protest. Just like last time, when he didn’t do the record sheet as I instructed, I scolded him without hesitation and forced him to do what I wanted. I remembered what he said that day, “As soon as I see you cleaning things up, I try to avoid you. I’m afraid you’ll criticize me again if I don’t do it right.” The thought made me miserable. The satanic disposition I revealed cast a shadow over my brother’s heart and constrained him. It’s just as God’s word exposes: “If people should go against their sayings and regulations, they’ll face the antichrists’ reprimand and rebuke. Antichrists often do work under the banner of God’s house, rebuking others and lecturing them from a high position. Some people even get so flustered by their lecture that they feel they’re indebted to God by not acting according to the antichrists’ requirements. Have such people not come under the antichrists’ control?” I finally realized my problem was serious. Since partnering with Cameron, my antichrist disposition was revealed. I had no status at the moment, but if I had status, wouldn’t it be even easier to constrain and control people? At that point, wouldn’t I be an antichrist? I usually didn’t focus on seeking the truth or reflecting on myself. I often showed a corrupt disposition without being aware of it. I was incredibly numb. I thought of God’s words: “If you are a member of God’s house, yet you are always hot-headed in your actions, always expose what is natural in you, and always reveal your corrupt disposition, doing things with human means and with a corrupt, satanic disposition, the final consequence will be your doing evil and your resisting God—and if you remain unrepentant all the while and cannot tread upon the path of pursuing truth, you will have to be revealed and eliminated” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. A Corrupt Disposition Can Only Be Resolved by Accepting the Truth). I recalled how I treated Cameron. To vent my dissatisfaction for temporary relief, I completely disregarded my brother’s feelings. When I got angry because Cameron’s record sheet was illegible, I lectured Cameron like a child who made a mistake. He just sat there without saying a word, and when he admitted he was wrong, I coldly rejected it. That image was frozen in my mind, impossible to forget. When I thought about it, I couldn’t express the guilt and pain in my heart. I asked myself, “How could I treat my brother like this? I’ve never fellowshipped or helped him, so who am I to scold him? What gall do I have to call him my brother?” Every question left me speechless. In the past, I always thought Cameron was to blame, that it was him who had too many faults and caused me so much trouble. Now I realized that it was me who had the real problem. It was me who hadn’t changed even after many reminders, and it was me who was too arrogant and had no humanity! I felt intense remorse, so I silently prayed to God and said I wanted to repent.

Afterward, I sought how to treat my brothers and sisters in accordance with principles. In God’s word, I read this passage: “There must be principles to how brothers and sisters interact. Do not always focus on others’ faults, instead you must examine yourself frequently, and then proactively admit to other people what things you have done that caused interference or harm to them, and learn to open yourself up and fellowship. In this way, you can achieve mutual understanding. What’s more, no matter what befalls you, you should view things based on the words of God. If people are able to understand the truth principles and find a path of practice, they will become of one heart and mind, and the relationship between the brothers and sisters will be normal, they will not be as indifferent, cold, and cruel as the nonbelievers, and they will shed their mentality of mutual suspicion and wariness. The brothers and sisters will become more intimate with each other; they will be able to support and love each other; there will be goodwill in their hearts, and they will be capable of tolerance and compassion toward each other, and they will support and help one another, instead of alienating each other, being envious of each other, measuring themselves against one another, and secretly competing and being defiant toward each other. How can people perform their duties well if they are like the nonbelievers? Not only will this impact their life entry, it will also harm and affect others. … When people live by their corrupt dispositions, it is very hard for them to be at peace before God, and it is very difficult for them to practice the truth and live by God’s words. To live before God, you must first learn how to reflect on and know yourself, and truly pray to God, and then you must learn how to get on with the brothers and sisters. You must be tolerant of each other, lenient with each other, and be able to see what others’ strengths and merits are—you must learn to accept others’ opinions and things that are right. Don’t indulge yourself, don’t have ambitions and desires and always think you’re better than other people, and then think of yourself as some great figure, forcing other people to do what you say, to obey you, to look up to you, to exalt you—this is deviant. … So how does God treat people? God does not care what people look like, whether they’re tall or short. Instead, He looks at whether their hearts are kind, whether they love the truth, and whether they love and submit to Him. This is what God bases His behavior toward people on. If people can also do this, they will be able to treat others fairly, and in accordance with the truth principles. First of all, we must understand the intentions of God, and know how God behaves toward men, then we too will have a principle and path for how to behave toward people” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). Yeah. When we interact with each other in our duties, we should at least live out normal humanity, support and help each other, be tolerant and patient, take care of each other, fellowship on the truth to help people when they go against principles, and in serious cases, we can expose and prune them. This is the only way to do things in line with principles. The brothers and sisters come from different places, and everyone’s living circumstances, experience, age and caliber are different. No matter what their deficiencies or shortcomings are, we should treat them properly, never ask too much of them, and be considerate and tolerant of them. Cameron was usually busy with maintenance. In addition, he wasn’t good at making the check-in and check-out records of the items. I should have taken more responsibility and been more understanding, and I shouldn’t have forced him to do things my way. I was utterly without humanity. My brother was good at maintenance, conscientious in his repair work, and didn’t fear suffering in his duty. In this respect, he was far superior to me. But I didn’t look at my brother’s strengths. I focused on his shortcomings, accused him, and scolded him. I was so arrogant and stupid!

Later, I consciously changed my state and practiced according to principles. When things happened again, I was much calmer, and I was also more understanding of Cameron. Once, I went out to run an errand and needed to stay there for some time, and Cameron was left to manage things on his own. A few days later, I called Cameron to ask how the process was going. Calmly and cautiously, he said, “How do you think? Exactly the way you think it’s going.” Hearing this, I felt very upset. Why would my brother say such a thing? Wasn’t it because the way I treated him in the past flowed from my corrupt disposition, and always made him feel that he was nothing and couldn’t do anything well? The more I thought about it, the more it hurt, but it strengthened my determination to practice the truth and change myself. I comforted Cameron, saying, “Just look around at what’s out of place and take the time to tidy up. You’re usually busy with other things, so a little messiness is inevitable. If you really don’t have time to clean up, we can do it together when I get back.” After the call, I thought Cameron wouldn’t be able to manage by himself, so I asked others to help him. When similar things happened in the past, I always scolded and reprimanded him for his mistakes. Now, when the same things happen again, I can approach it correctly, and can also fellowship and help him. This makes me feel at peace and at ease. Although it’s a small change, I am happy, because I think it’s a good start. I believe if I practice and enter by God’s words, I will be able to cast off my corrupt disposition. Thank Almighty God!