By Kristina, USA

Sister Barbara and I had known one another for two years, and we had a lot in common, and every time we got chatting, it felt like we could go on forever. We’d often talk about each of our experiences and what we’d gained from them. She’d come find me to talk when she was in any bad state. Whenever I had a problem, I wanted to share it with her as well, and she always fellowshipped with me patiently. I cherished this close relationship we had. I felt that it was great to have a sister by my side who could help and support me.

One day, I inadvertently heard Barbara chatting with some sisters about the great results she had been getting in her gospel preaching lately, how many of those she was preaching to were filled with religious notions, and how, through prayer and reliance on God, she had fellowshipped with them patiently and read them God’s words, so that they quickly came to accept God’s work of the last days. The sisters looked at her with admiration after hearing that, circling her with all kinds of questions, seeking good paths of practice. I had some doubts and thought, “It’s good that her gospel preaching is going so well, but she only talked about how great her results were, not about the specific path she took, nor did she testify to how God guided her in this process. Isn’t she just showing off by talking like this?” A few days later, a sister said to me, “Barbara has really good caliber; she hasn’t been preaching the gospel for very long, and she’s already achieved such great results. She said a leader even called on her to fellowship about her experiences at a gathering.” My heart jolted when I heard this: “Why is Barbara saying these things? They aren’t edifying or beneficial to others.” I thought of how during that period Barbara was always showing off the good results she’d obtained in performing her duty, and I felt kind of uneasy, thinking, “God has fellowshipped that showing off and exalting oneself is a revelation of a satanic disposition. Others admire Barbara so much now; it will be dangerous to carry on like this. I can’t let this go on. I have to find a chance to point this out to her.” But whenever I thought about pointing this problem out to her directly, I’d hesitate. I recalled my experiences from a few years before. I saw that my partner, Janie, would often speak words and doctrines, chiding others from a high position, but she’d never dissect or know herself. I pointed out this problem to her, and not only wouldn’t she accept it, she even scolded me by bringing up my past failures and transgressions. Afterward, she was reluctant to even acknowledge me. This made things really awkward and painful for me. On another occasion, Sister Roxanna went off topic in her fellowship during a gathering and I pointed this out to her. Later, she opened up to me and said that she’d felt really embarrassed and resistant when I’d pointed out her issue, and that she’d felt I was deliberately trying to make things difficult for her, to the point where she didn’t even want to fellowship at later gatherings. Though she went on to seek and reflect on herself, recognizing her problems, I still felt really upset. After this happened, I became very wary of pointing out others’ problems. Thinking back on those experiences made me feel even more hesitant about confronting Barbara. I thought about how great our relationship had always been, and wondered: If I pointed out her problem to her, would she feel embarrassed and put on the spot? What would I do if she wouldn’t listen and developed a bias against me, if she felt that I was exposing her shortcomings and trying to make things hard for her, and then she refused to acknowledge me? We crossed paths a lot every day, so things would be so uncomfortable. She hadn’t always shown off like this. Maybe by reading God’s word, she’d be able to reflect and come to this realization herself. Never mind then, I should just keep quiet.

One day, Barbara told me that some brothers and sisters had made a few suggestions to her. They said that she was partial to showing off in her fellowship and that it would easily make others admire and worship her. This had made her quite uncomfortable. I felt all twisted up inside when I heard her say this. The truth was, I had also seen her showing off lately, but because I was afraid of hurting our relationship, I had just turned a blind eye and said nothing to her. Wasn’t this the perfect opportunity? Shouldn’t I also speak out about the problems I’d seen? But then I thought about how things were difficult enough already for her. If I also spoke up, would she be unable to take it and become negative? I worried that if I pointed out the problems I had seen to her, she’d think that I was being harsh and distance herself from me, so I thought carefully about what tone of voice to use and how to express myself tactfully so that I wouldn’t embarrass her. I brought up examples of how I’d exalted myself and showed off in the past, and then how I’d reflected on it and come to understand that, and only in passing at the end did I briefly touch on her problem. I was afraid of embarrassing her, so I gave her a few words of consolation: “Everyone has corrupt dispositions and it’s perfectly normal to reveal that. I do it too. Even after believing in God for so long, I’ve always been very arrogant and conceited, and I often show off. Don’t let it constrain you, you’ve got to have the right attitude toward yourself.” She said nothing in response to this. But then, something happened that unsettled me once again.

At one gathering, Barbara was fellowshipping on her understanding of God’s words, and went on to talk about a recent experience she had had in preaching the gospel. She talked about how she had been preaching to a pastor who had believed in the Lord for decades. The man was filled with religious notions and had believed a lot of rumors. He still wouldn’t accept the gospel even after it was preached to him repeatedly. But then she had gone to fellowship and debate with him, and by finding relevant passages of God’s words, she had refuted his notions and fallacies one by one, and he gradually let go of his notions and accepted God’s work of the last days. When she finished speaking, everyone’s attention was drawn to her gospel-preaching experience, and no one focused on pondering and fellowshipping God’s words. At the time, I was a little aware: Wasn’t this going off topic? Though she was fellowshipping about her gospel-preaching experience, when she’d finished, everyone started admiring her and looking up to her. Wasn’t this her showing off? I wanted to point this out to her and get her to stop talking about this topic, but I just couldn’t get the words out, thinking, “If I interrupt her in front of this many people, won’t she be really embarrassed? It is true that Barbara has gotten some results in her gospel preaching, so if I do say this to her, will everyone think it’s because I’m jealous and intentionally making things difficult for her? Maybe her intentions are good and she’s not trying to show off?” So I didn’t speak up, but I couldn’t calm myself down enough to ponder God’s words, and my fellowship was unenlightened as I just gave a few uninspired words, and so the gathering came to a close.

I spent that evening tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the things Barbara had said to show off in the gathering, and about the looks of admiration on everyone’s faces. What she had fellowshipped hadn’t given the others any better understanding of God’s words, rather, she had drawn everyone’s attention to her gospel preaching, and so the gathering had not achieved anything good. Fearing embarrassing her, I had said nothing and failed to protect church life. Wasn’t I just being a people pleaser? I recalled a passage of God’s words: “You should examine yourself carefully to see whether you are a correct person. Are your goals and intentions made with Me in mind? Are all your words and actions said and done in My presence? I examine all of your thoughts and ideas. Do you not feel guilty? … Do you think that next time you will be able to make up for the eating and drinking that Satan has taken away this time? Thus, you now see it clearly; is this something for which you can compensate? Can you make up for the time lost? You must diligently examine yourselves to see why no eating and drinking was done in the past few meetings, and who caused this trouble. You must fellowship one by one until it is clear. If such a person is not strongly constrained, then your brothers and sisters will not understand, and then it will just happen again. Your spiritual eyes are closed; too many of you are blind! Moreover, those who do see are careless about it. They do not stand and speak up, and they, too, are blind. Those who see but do not speak up are mute. There are many here with handicaps” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Utterances of Christ in the Beginning, Chapter 13). God’s words described my state perfectly. Barbara had gone off topic in her fellowship, wasted everyone’s time, and impacted the effectiveness of the gathering, and yet I’d just looked on silently. I kept thinking to myself, “I clearly knew Barbara was going off topic, so why did I not protect church life? Why did I choose to remain silent and be a people pleaser?” Firstly, I was uncertain as to whether Barbara’s actions were exalting herself and showing off. It was true that she had some experiences in preaching the gospel, and fellowshipping on these experiences could be beneficial to the others, so could her fellowshipping like this be considered showing off? Secondly, I was worried that I wasn’t seeing things clearly, that my speaking up would constrain her, and that the others would think I was saying these things out of jealousy.

At the gathering the next day, I brought up my confusion and sought help from a few sisters. We read a passage of God’s words together: “Exalting and testifying about themselves, flaunting themselves, trying to make people think highly of them and worship them—corrupt mankind is capable of these things. This is how people instinctively react when they are governed by their satanic natures, and it is common to all of corrupt mankind. How do people usually exalt and testify about themselves? How do they achieve the aim of making people think highly of them and worship them? They testify to how much work they have done, how much they have suffered, how much they have expended themselves, and what price they have paid. They exalt themselves by talking about their capital, which gives them a higher, firmer, more secure place in people’s minds, so that more people appreciate, think highly of, admire, and even worship, look up to, and follow them. To achieve this aim, people do many things that testify to God on the surface, but essentially exalt and testify about themselves. Is acting that way reasonable? They are beyond the purview of rationality and have no shame, that is, they unabashedly testify to what they have done for God and how much they have suffered for Him. They even flaunt their gifts, talents, experience, special skills, their clever techniques for worldly dealings, the means they use to toy with people, and so on. Their method of exalting and testifying about themselves is to flaunt themselves and belittle others. They also camouflage and package themselves, hiding their weaknesses, shortcomings, and deficiencies from people so that they only ever see their brilliance. They do not even dare to tell other people when they feel negative; they lack the courage to open up and fellowship with them, and when they do something wrong, they do their utmost to conceal it and cover it up. Never do they mention the harm they have caused to the work of the church in the course of doing their duty. When they have made some minor contribution or achieved some small success, however, they are quick to show it off. They cannot wait to let the whole world know how capable they are, how high their caliber is, how exceptional they are, and how much better they are than normal people. Is this not a way of exalting and testifying about themselves?” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Four: They Exalt and Testify About Themselves). Through the exposure of God’s words, I understood that one sign of antichrists exalting and testifying to themselves is their flaunting of their gifts, strengths, contributions, and achievements before others to make people think of them as possessing talents and caliber, and gain their respect and admiration. Preaching the gospel and testifying to God is essentially a positive thing. Barbara had strengths in preaching the gospel, and if she could have fellowshipped on the difficulties she had encountered, how she then relied on God and experienced His work, what she had gained and learned from this, and the good paths of practice she summed up, that fellowship would have been edifying. But Barbara only talked about how she had suffered while preaching the gospel, and how she paid a price. Nobody listening to her experiences gained any greater understanding of God or any clarity on how to practice or approach different difficulties. Instead, they just started looking up to and admiring her more and came to feel that she had experiences, gifts and caliber in preaching the gospel, and was more ardent than others. Everyone praised and envied her and felt inadequate. So, the results of showing off and exalting and testifying to God were not the same. Through fellowshipping, my previous views were confirmed, and I determined that most of what Barbara said wasn’t testifying to God, and rather was said to elevate herself and show off. She was revealing an antichrist’s disposition, which would incur God’s disgust and hatred. The sisters also reminded me that Barbara might not yet be aware of her behavior, and that having seen this, I should lovingly point this out to help her. I shouldn’t be a people pleaser just to protect my relationship with her. The sisters’ words filled me with shame, and I decided to fellowship with Barbara as soon as possible.

After the gathering came to an end, I just couldn’t calm myself down. I had seen Barbara’s issues before but not dared to point them out to her, and even when I did say something, I just skimmed over the problem without really achieving anything, causing Barbara to never truly reflect on or become aware of her problem. I was filled with unease and guilt at these thoughts, and I couldn’t help but ask myself, “I’m normally so cheerful and lively around Barbara and tell her everything, so why am I finding it so hard to point out her problem? Why can’t I get the words out?” In my seeking and reflection, I read these words of God: “You are all well-educated. You all pay attention to being refined and understated in your speech, as well as to the manner in which you speak: You are tactful, and have learned not to do damage to the dignity and pride of others. In your words and actions, you leave people room to maneuver. You do everything you can to put people at ease. You do not expose their scars or shortcomings, and you try not to hurt them or embarrass them. Such is the interpersonal principle by which most people act. And what kind of principle is this? (It is being a people pleaser; it is deceitful and slippery.) It is conniving, slippery, treacherous, and insidious. Hidden behind people’s smiling faces are a lot of malicious, insidious, and despicable things” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Six Indicators of Life Growth). “Those who walk the middle path are the most insidious people of all. They offend no one, they are smooth and slick, they are good at playing along in all situations, and no one can see their faults. They are like living Satans!” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Practicing the Truth Can One Cast Off the Shackles of a Corrupt Disposition). “There is a tenet in philosophies for worldly dealings that says, ‘Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship.’ It means that in order to preserve a friendly relationship, one must keep silent about their friend’s problems, even if they see them clearly—that they should abide by the principles of not striking people in the face or calling out their shortcomings. They are to deceive each other, hide from each other, engage in intrigue with each other; and though they know with crystal clarity what sort of person the other is, they do not say it outright, but employ cunning methods to preserve their friendly relationship. Why would one want to preserve such relationships? It is about not wanting to make enemies in this society, within one’s group, which would mean subjecting oneself often to dangerous situations. Knowing someone will become your enemy and harm you after you have called out their shortcomings or hurt them, and not wishing to put yourself in such a situation, you employ the tenet of philosophies for worldly dealings that runs, ‘If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings.’ In light of this, if two people are in such a relationship, do they count as true friends? (No.) They are not true friends, much less each other’s confidant. So, what sort of relationship is this, exactly? Is it not a fundamental social relationship? (It is.) In such social relationships, people cannot offer their feelings, nor have deep exchanges, nor speak about whatever they wish. They cannot say out loud what is in their heart, or the problems they see in the other, or words that would benefit the other. Instead, they pick nice things to say, to keep the other’s favor. They dare not speak the truth or uphold the principles, lest it give rise to animosity toward them in others. When no one is threatening to someone, does that person not live in relative ease and peace? Is this not people’s goal in promoting the saying, ‘If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings’? (It is.) Clearly, this is a cunning, deceptive way of existence with an element of defensiveness, whose goal is self-preservation. People who live like this have no confidants, no close friends with whom they can say whatever they like. They are defensive with each other, and calculating, and strategic, each taking what they need from the relationship. Is this not so? At its root, the goal of ‘If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings’ is to keep from offending others and making enemies, to protect oneself by not causing hurt to anyone. It is a technique and method one adopts to keep themselves from being hurt. Looking at these several facets of its essence, is the demand of people’s moral conduct ‘If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings’ a noble one? Is it a positive one? (No.) Then, what does it teach people? That you must not upset or hurt anyone, otherwise, you are the one who will end up getting hurt…. Does it teach people to be wise when interacting with others, to be able to differentiate people, to see people and things in the right way, and to interact with people in a wise way? Does it teach you that if you meet good people, people with humanity, you should treat them with sincerity, provide them help if you are able to, and if you cannot, you should then be tolerant and treat them properly, learn to tolerate their shortcomings, put up with their misunderstandings and judgments of you, and learn from their strengths and good qualities? Is that what it teaches people? (No.) So, what comes in the end of what this saying teaches people? Does it make people more honest, or more deceitful? It results in people becoming more deceitful; people’s hearts grow further apart, the distance between people widens, and people’s relationships become complicated; it is equivalent to a complication in people’s social relationships. Heart-to-heart communication between people is lost, and a mutually guarded mindset arises. Can people’s relationships still be normal this way? Will the social climate improve? (No.) So, that’s why the saying ‘If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings’ is obviously wrong. Teaching people to do this cannot make them live out normal humanity; moreover, it cannot make people aboveboard, upright, or candid. It absolutely cannot achieve anything positive” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (8)). By reading God’s words, I saw that I was relying on satanic philosophies for worldly dealings in how I interacted with Barbara, such as “Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship,” “If you strike others, don’t strike them in the face; if you call others out, don’t call out their shortcomings,” and “One more friend means one more path; one more enemy means one more obstacle.” Until that point, I had regarded these philosophies as principles by which to interact with people. I had thought that behaving like this was the only way to maintain interpersonal relations, not offend others, and not create trouble for myself. Through the exposure of God’s words, I finally saw that these philosophies are deceitful, sly, and treacherous ways to live, that they make people guarded against one another, create distance between them, and prevent sincere interaction, much less do they allow for love of one another. Though interacting in this way avoids offending others or creating trouble for ourselves, it prevents us from making true friends, and only allows us to become ever more fake and deceitful. I also came to understand that one should be candid when interacting with others, and that when you see somebody has a problem, you should help them out of love as best you can. Even if in the moment, they can’t accept it and misunderstand you, you still must adhere to those principles and set the right intentions when approaching them. I thought back on my interactions with Barbara. On several occasions I’d clearly seen her showing off in front of others, and that the others thought very highly of her, but I was afraid of wounding her ego by pointing out her problem, and that she’d then disregard me. So, to keep on good terms with her, I just looked on without saying anything to her or helping her as she revealed corruption, which caused her to not reflect on and know her problems and later go back to her old ways. Living by these satanic philosophies, I had only wanted to protect our relationship, for Barbara to say I was an understanding and empathetic person. I had not considered her life entry. If only I had pointed out the problems I had seen to her sooner, maybe she would have had some understanding of her corrupt disposition and wouldn’t have said such unreasonable things during gatherings. I had become a people pleaser to protect our relationship. This was truly harmful behavior! I then thought of another sister I had interacted with. I saw that she was often perfunctory in her duty, and that when the others pointed out her problems to her, she’d argue back and be unable to accept it. I had wanted to fellowship with her to help her reflect on herself, but I felt that she was quite old, and if I pointed out her problems, I would hurt her ego and make her think of me as overly harsh. So I just turned a blind eye to her problems and remained outwardly cheerful, chatty, and friendly with her. It was only after she was dismissed for being perfunctory in her duty that I regretted not helping her sooner. When she was about to leave, I fellowshipped about the problems I had seen with her. Though she’d come to recognize her problems, she reproached me for not pointing them out to her sooner and said that if she’d been able to mend her ways earlier, she maybe wouldn’t have been dismissed and reassigned. When this occurred to me, I finally saw that living by philosophies for worldly dealings and being a people pleaser is not the same as being a good person. Those who do so are not showing any sincerity or love toward others, they are being selfish and deceitful. This kind of person is living out a satanic disposition, and it disgusts God. Barbara had always been so sincere with me, but I had just relied on these philosophies while interacting with her and not practiced the truth. I had only considered how not to offend her and how to preserve the good image she had of me, and when I saw her revealing a corrupt disposition, I just disregarded it. Could I call myself a good friend while acting like this? “Keeping silent on the faults of good friends makes for a long and good friendship” was truly a devilish saying of Satan. It was so harmful, and I no longer wanted to live by it.

In my seeking and reflection, I realized that there was another reason I didn’t dare point out Barbara’s problem: I held a mistaken view. I had always thought that pointing out another’s problem was exposing a flaw of theirs, that it would hurt their ego, likely offend them, and that it was a thankless act. So with Barbara, I always feared that she would be offended if I pointed out her problem and that it would ruin our relationship, which made it very difficult for me to practice the truth. So I sought God, asking Him to guide me in resolving this problem of mine. In my seeking, I read these words of God: “God demands that people tell the truth, say what they think, and not trick, mislead, make fun of, satirize, deride, mock, or constrict others, or expose their weaknesses, or hurt them. Are these not the principles of speech? What does it mean to say one should not expose people’s weaknesses? It means not to get dirt on other people. Do not hold on to their past mistakes or shortcomings in order to judge or condemn them. This is the least you should do. On the proactive side, how is constructive speech expressed? It is mainly encouraging, orienting, guiding, exhorting, understanding, and comforting. Also, in some special instances, it becomes necessary to directly expose other people’s errors and prune them, so that they gain knowledge of the truth and desire to repent. Only then is the due effect achieved. This way of practicing is of great benefit to people. It is a real help to them, and it is constructive for them, is it not? … And what, in sum, is the principle behind speaking? It is this: Say what’s in your heart, and speak of your true experiences and what you really think. These words are the most beneficial to people, they provide for people, they help them, they are positive. Refuse to say those fake words, those words that do not benefit or edify people; this will avoid harming them or tripping them up, plunging them into negativity, and having a negative effect. You must say positive things. You must strive to help people as much as you can, to benefit them, to provide to them, to produce in them true faith in God; and you must allow people to be helped, and to gain much, from your experiences of God’s words and the way you solve problems, and to be able to understand the path of experiencing the work of God and entering the truth reality, allowing them to have life entry and making their life grow—which is all the effect of your words having principles, and being edifying to people” (The Word, Vol. 6. On the Pursuit of the Truth I. What It Means to Pursue the Truth (3)). “If you have a good relationship with a brother or a sister, and they ask you to point out what is wrong with them, how should you do it? This relates to what approach you take to the matter. … According to the truth principles, then, how should you approach this matter? What action accords with the truth? How many relevant principles are there? Firstly, at the very least, do not cause others to stumble. You must first consider the other’s weaknesses and what way of speaking with them will not cause them to stumble. This is the very least that ought to be considered. Next, if you know they are someone who truly believes in God and can accept the truth, then when you notice they have a problem, you should take the initiative to help them. If you do nothing and laugh at them, this constitutes hurting and harming them. Someone who does so has no conscience or reason, and they have no love for others. Those who have a bit of conscience and reason cannot laugh at their brothers and sisters. They should think of different ways to help them resolve their problem. They should let the person understand what happened and where their mistake was. Whether they can repent is their own matter; we will have lived up to our responsibility. Even if they do not repent now, sooner or later there will be a day when they come to their senses, and they will not complain about you or accuse you. At the least, how you treat your brothers and sisters cannot be below the standards of conscience and reason. Do not indebt yourself to others; help them to the extent you can. This is what people should do. People who can treat their brothers and sisters with love and in accordance with the truth principles are the best kind of people. They are also the most kind-hearted. Of course, true brothers and sisters are those people who can accept and practice the truth. If a person only believes in God to eat their fill of loaves or to receive blessings, but does not accept the truth, then they are not a brother or sister. You must treat true brothers and sisters according to the truth principles. No matter how they believe in God or what path they are on, you should help them in the spirit of love. What is the minimum effect one should achieve? First, it is not causing them to stumble, and not letting them become negative; second, it is helping them, and making them turn back from the wrong path; and third, it is making them understand the truth and choose the right path. These three sorts of effect can only be achieved by helping them in the spirit of love. If you do not have true love, you cannot achieve these three sorts of effect, and you could only achieve one or two at best. These three sorts of effect are also the three principles for helping others. You know these three principles and have a handle on them, but how are they actually enacted? Do you truly understand the other’s difficulty? Is this not another problem? You must also think, ‘What is the origin of their difficulty? Am I capable of helping them? If my stature is too small and I cannot solve their problem, and I speak carelessly, I may point them onto the wrong path. Beyond that, how is this person’s comprehension ability, and what is their caliber? Are they opinionated? Do they have spiritual understanding? Can they accept the truth? Do they pursue the truth? If they see that I am more capable than them, and I fellowship with them, will jealousy or negativity arise in them?’ These questions must all be considered. After you have considered and gained clarity on these questions, go fellowship with that person, read several passages of God’s words that apply to their problem, and enable them to understand the truth in God’s words and find the path to practice. Then, the problem will be solved, and they will get out of their difficulty. Is this a simple matter? This is no simple matter. If you do not understand the truth, then no matter how much you say, it will be of no use. If you do understand the truth, you can enlighten and benefit them with just a few sentences” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only by Pursuing the Truth Can One Resolve Their Notions and Misunderstandings of God). From God’s words I came to understand that if you are exposing a person’s shortcomings, you prey on their weaknesses to judge and condemn them, and your intentions are to ridicule, mock, and denounce them, and this disgusts God. But if you point out a person’s problems and shortcomings with the intention of helping them, this is edifying, and is an expression of having love for others and a sense of responsibility for their lives. If the person pursues the truth, then with the help of others, they will be able to reflect on themselves and seek the truth to resolve their problems, and they will make progress in their life entry. However, some people are resistant to and repulsed by being pruned and having their issues pointed out. This shows that they don’t accept the truth and that their disposition is averse to the truth. Before, I had believed that pointing out others’ problems was the same as exposing their shortcomings and that it was a thankless task. This view was completely fallacious. I also came to understand that there are principles for helping others by pointing out their problems. It’s not only about pointing out people’s problems to them directly with good intentions and enthusiasm, no matter who they are. Rather, we must do it according to the truth principles, considering a person’s humanity and their comprehension ability, whether they are a correct person, whether they can accept the truth, how to point out their problems in a way that will achieve results, not trip them up, or cause them to become negative. What’s most important is that we should consider the relevant truths, help others understand the truth and God’s intention by pointing things out to them, and give them a path of practice. Only by doing this are we genuinely helping people. At this point I finally realized that I hadn’t been getting good results when I’d been pointing out others’ problems before because I hadn’t been seeking the truth principles. Just like when I saw Janie frequently speaking words and doctrines, scolding others from her high position, and never talking about knowing herself—I pointed out her problems to her directly, but in fact, I had come to understand through our interactions that she wasn’t a person who could accept the truth. I knew that her understanding of the truth was distorted, and that she placed a lot of importance on status. For these reasons, pointing out her problems to her directly was foolish of me and it failed to achieve good results. She was later revealed to have consistently not accepted the truth or the reminders and help offered by brothers and sisters. She would often seek leverage over leaders and workers to attack and judge them, and eventually, she was cleared out when she was determined to be an evil person. As for Roxanna, she valued her pride too much, was slow in understanding and entering into the truth, and had no experience in being pruned. But I didn’t take into account her stature and talked about her digressing in her fellowship on God’s words in front of everybody. As a result, she was unaccepting and became negative for a while. Later on, with the help and support of other brothers and sisters, she was able to amend this state. Having come to understand this aspect of the principles, I no longer felt afraid to point out Barbara’s problem. Barbara could accept the truth, and she was a correct person. I should help her with love and in accordance with principles in order to prevent her from going down the wrong path. In my heart, I prayed to God, seeking how I could fellowship with Barbara effectively in a way that’s not constraining and can help her understand the truth and truly know herself.

For a period after that, I’d seek out and ponder the words of God which expose those who show off and exalt themselves. I looked for a time to open up to Barbara in fellowship and to talk to her about her problems that I’d noticed during this period, as well as to fellowship with her on the nature and consequences of showing off, and on the attitude with which God treats this kind of behavior. After I fellowshipped with her, Barbara finally realized the seriousness of her problem, realized that she was controlled by an obsession with status, that she liked having a place in people’s hearts and having people admire her, and that this kind of pursuit disgusts God. In a later gathering, she fellowshipped and dissected her behavior of showing off and exalting herself, which allowed everyone to gain some discernment. Seeing that Barbara was able to reflect on and recognize her problem, hate herself and truly repent, I felt happy. But at the same time, I felt guilty. I regretted that it had taken me until now to fellowship and point this out to her. She didn’t develop a bias against me because I pointed out and exposed her problem, nor did our relationship break down, instead, we became closer than before. I understood that only by living by God’s word and interacting with people according to the truth principles can one feel a sense of peace.