By Xiaoqiu, China

My husband and I accepted Almighty God’s work of the last days in May 2012. We read God’s words and sang hymns in praise of God together all the time, and I felt so happy and fulfilled. Before long, I took on a duty in the church and I went out frequently to attend gatherings and share the gospel. My husband was really supportive of me. But later on, my family started trying to keep me from practicing my faith because of the Communist Party’s oppression, and from that point on, our once harmonious, peaceful life was completely shattered.

One day, my older brother called us and said he’d seen on the news that the government was seriously cracking down on believers in Almighty God, arresting them and then giving them prison sentences. He said, “If one person is a believer, their future generations are impacted, too. Their kids can’t get into university, then their prospects for work or a good future are shot. You can’t keep practicing this religion.” My husband worked in a school, and when he heard what my brother had said, he said to me with concern, “Faith is a good thing, but the Communist Party is arresting believers like crazy. Even our kids’ futures will be impacted. I don’t want to practice this religion anymore, and you should stop attending gatherings. If you want to follow God, just do it in secret at home.” I responded, “Can I even be called a believer if I don’t go to gatherings? Can I learn the truth that way? Believing in God and pursuing the truth—that’s the right path in life. I have to go to gatherings.” Seeing I wasn’t going to budge, he took a stool and flashlight, and broke them out of anger. The next day, after he came home from his school he told me, “We had a meeting at the school today. The Central Committee has issued an official document saying that believers in Almighty God are considered political criminals, and are the targets of a major national crackdown. Teachers and their families aren’t allowed to have a religion, and anyone found to be religious will be expelled and blacklisted from employment. Their children won’t be allowed into college—no school will accept them. You can’t keep practicing your religion. If someone finds out and reports you, I’ll lose my job and our kids’ futures will suffer. It will ruin our family.” Hearing him say this, I was thinking that we needed my husband’s salary to cover our family expenses. If he really were fired because of my faith, how would we get by? And wouldn’t our children hate me if they couldn’t get into university or find a job? These thoughts were really upsetting for me, so I called out to God in my heart, asking Him to guide me to understand His intention. I thought of something from God’s words after my prayer: “The fate of man is controlled by the hands of God. You are incapable of controlling yourself: Despite man always rushing and busying himself on his own behalf, he remains incapable of controlling himself. If you could know your own prospects, if you could control your own fate, would you still be a created being?” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Restoring the Normal Life of Man and Taking Him to a Wonderful Destination). Thinking this over, I could see that people’s fates are entirely in God’s hands. Whatever job my husband may have and the kind of future our kids have are up to God’s rule and arrangements—those things aren’t up to any person. I couldn’t give up my faith to protect their jobs or futures. I felt ready to leave our futures in God’s hands and submit to His orchestrations. I didn’t feel as worried when I thought about it that way, and I kept attending gatherings and doing my duty, as usual.

Then one day in July 2013, I was arrested along with a few other sisters while we were in a gathering. That evening, Captain Zhao from the police station interrogated me, demanding to know, “Who converted you? Who’s your church leader?” I didn’t respond. Then he went on, “Your husband was my teacher. Tell me all about the church and I can let you go back home, seeing as how he was my teacher.” I realized this was one of Satan’s tricks to try to get me to sell out the brothers and sisters and betray God—I couldn’t fall for it. I silently prayed to God over and over, asking Him to watch over me and help me stand firm in my testimony. After that, I just ignored Captain Zhao, no matter what he asked me. He ended up taking me back to a holding room. The next morning, an officer from the municipal Public Security Bureau came to interrogate me. I was startled to see it was my cousin. Seeing it was me, his eyes bulged with anger and he said, pointing at me, “What a shock! You’re religious? When did you start believing? Who converted you?” I ignored him. He said some other things blaspheming God, and then went on, “The national government issued official documents ages ago saying that if anyone is found to believe in Almighty God, three generations of their descendants are implicated. Your older son just graduated from college and is looking for work, and your younger son is about to go to college. You have to think of your children’s future. The Communist Party is so powerful—insisting on believing in the face of that is like an egg trying to smash a rock. You’ve got to give this up!” Hearing all this, I was thinking that continuing to practice my faith was certain to impact my sons’ futures. I’d paid quite a price for their education—wouldn’t all those years of blood, sweat, and tears be in vain if they really couldn’t find jobs in the end? This was a really miserable thought for me. I prayed to God, asking Him to watch over my heart and guide me to understand His intention, to know what I should do. Then this passage from God’s words occurred to me: “From the moment you come crying into this world, you begin to fulfill your duty. For God’s plan and for His ordination, you perform your role and start your life’s journey. Whatever your background, and whatever the journey ahead of you, no one can escape the orchestrations and arrangements of Heaven, and no one is in control of their own destiny, for only He who rules over all things is capable of such work. … Man’s heart and spirit are held in the hand of God, everything of his life is beheld in the eyes of God. Regardless of whether or not you believe this, any and all things, whether living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear in accordance with God’s thoughts. Such is the way in which God presides over all things” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God Is the Source of Man’s Life). From God’s words, I could see that absolutely all things are in His hands, so didn’t that include my sons’ futures and fates? How much someone suffers in life and what sort of work they do is all predetermined by God. I couldn’t fret over those things. And no matter how great someone’s education and work are out in the world, that doesn’t mean they’ll have a good future and fate. Without believing in God, without accepting God’s salvation, a person will just die in the disasters when they come, and they won’t have any future to speak of. Coming before God, accepting the truth, and being saved by God is the only way to truly have a future. So I said to my cousin, “Whatever my sons’ futures are is their fate—it’s not up to any person. My belief in God and pursuit of the truth are the right path and I am completely set on it. Don’t bother giving me advice!” He didn’t respond when he saw how resolute I was in keeping my faith. They kept me there for one day and one night, then sent me back home.

As soon as I got back to the house, my husband picked up a stool and was about to hit me with it, but our older son held him back. Swearing at me, my husband said, “Because of your faith, I’ve been completely disgraced, and our sons’ futures are going to be destroyed by you sooner or later. If you keep this faith, I’ll beat you to death!” Seeing him in that state, I thought to myself that apparently our bond as a couple was too weak to face any real hardship. When I was arrested for my faith and it impacted his own interests and reputation, he was threatening to beat me. How was that the love between a husband and wife? My younger sister was at our house at the time, and she chimed in, “Can’t you just give up your faith? If you keep on with this, you’ll destroy your sons’ futures!” I told them, “All I’m doing is attending gatherings and reading God’s words. This is the right path to take in life—I haven’t done anything wrong. How could that compromise my kids’ futures? It’s the Communist Party that oppresses believers and doesn’t even spare their families. If our kids can’t find jobs in the future, that’s because of the Communist Party. Why can’t you tell right from wrong?” Then my younger brother called my husband and said, “If my sister keeps following that religion, just break her legs. Then see how she manages to go to those gatherings.” And his wife said viciously, “Beat her to death if she keeps that up. Our side of the family won’t try to settle scores with you.” My heart went cold. I thought my family would be understanding of me. I never imagined they would listen to the Communist Party, that they’d become so heartless just to protect their own interests, and wouldn’t even care if I lived or died to keep me from practicing my faith. Where was their humanity? The next day my older brother called my husband and said, “If my sister keeps her religion, we’re going to cut off ties with her. I’ll support you if you want a divorce. Don’t leave her with anything and kick her out. See how she gets by after that.” Around midday my cousin came by in a police car and told my husband to keep an eye on me and to keep me from practicing my faith, otherwise the whole family would be implicated. My husband said to me, “For the sake of our children and this family, today you need to look your cousin in the eyes and make a statement that you’re giving up your faith.” I told him, “Following God is right and proper. I will not give up my faith.” Seeing he couldn’t get me to budge, he said angrily, “If you insist on believing in God and disregard our kids’ futures, I’m going to have to divorce you.” He got a divorce agreement and told me to sign it. The agreement said that I would leave, taking nothing with me. We had both worked so hard to establish our home—how would I live if I left empty-handed? But then I thought again about how God has already determined how much a person is going to suffer in their life, and no matter what, I couldn’t stop believing in God, and I had to keep my faith and continue pursuing the truth. I was just about to sign, and then my husband noticed I had no intention of giving in, so he said, “Let’s not get a divorce, then. If you want to be a believer, I can’t stop you. Just go ahead and do it.” That was what he said, but in reality, he got more and more controlling of me. At home he wouldn’t let me say the word “God,” and he’d hit me every time I said something he didn’t like. He stopped going anywhere for his vacations, but just stayed at home to keep an eye on me. When he saw me reading God’s words he grabbed the book of God’s words away from me, and said, “If I see this one more time, I’m burning this book!” For a while, I couldn’t go out to attend gatherings, have any contact with the brothers and sisters, or read God’s words at home. I had absolutely no freedom.

One evening I snuck into our bedroom to read God’s words when my husband suddenly burst in and said really aggressively, “You still dare read that! If you’re arrested again, my job and our children’s futures are done for! The Communist Party is capable of absolutely anything.” I told him, “I’m just reading God’s words. How could that impact your and our sons’ futures?” Shockingly, he ran over and wrapped both hands around my neck, squeezing and saying, “I’ll just strangle you and be done with it!” I wasn’t strong enough to free myself and couldn’t manage to get any words out. He didn’t let go until I stopped breathing and wasn’t even moving. I was gasping for air, and in so much emotional pain. I felt like being a believer in China, taking the right path, was way too hard. I was arrested by the Communist Party, my family was standing in my way, I couldn’t do a duty anymore, and now I’d even been stripped of my right to read God’s words. What meaning was left in my life? I felt like I’d be better off just dying. I grabbed my husband’s razor, planning to slit my wrists, to commit suicide. Then this passage of God’s words suddenly came to mind: “Today, most people do not have that knowledge. They believe that suffering is without value, they are renounced by the world, their home life is troubled, they are not beloved of God, and their prospects are bleak. The suffering of some people reaches an extreme, and their thoughts turn to death. This is not true love for God; such people are cowards, they have no perseverance, they are weak and powerless! God is eager for man to love Him, but the more man loves Him, the greater man’s suffering, and the more man loves Him, the greater man’s trials. … Thus, during these last days you must bear testimony to God. No matter how great your suffering, you should walk until the very end, and even at your last breath, still you must be faithful to God and at the mercy of God; only this is truly loving God, and only this is the strong and resounding testimony” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Only by Experiencing Painful Trials Can You Know the Loveliness of God). Thanks to God’s words waking me up at just the right moment, I didn’t take that foolish action. I wanted to kill myself because I was miserable and tormented, unable to endure the abuse. How cowardly of me. I was so lacking in faith, and I didn’t have any testimony at all. God hopes that people don’t lose their faith in Him when they go through pain and hardship, that they can bear witness for Him. How could I bear any witness if I died? Wouldn’t I become Satan’s laughingstock? Realizing this, I resolved that no matter how my husband and relatives persecuted me and tried to keep me from my faith in the future, no matter how much I had to suffer, as long as I had a single breath left, I would live my life well and follow God until the end. But because I was being monitored by the police and constrained by my family after my arrest, I wasn’t able to live a proper life of the church for three years. I had to sneak off to my father’s house to secretly read God’s words there. Then in the summer of 2016, I finally made contact with the brothers and sisters. I was able to resume a life of the church and take on a duty again.

Later on, my husband still kept persecuting me. I remember once after I got back from a gathering, he took me to my older brother’s house, where I saw he was there with my two other brothers and their wives—they were all glowering at me. I knew they were going to try to force me to give up my faith again, so I said a silent prayer, asking God to guide me so that no matter what they did to me, I wouldn’t be held back by them. My older brother glared at me and said, “The Communist Party is atheistic. It’s been suppressing religious beliefs all these years and no one can change it. Believing in God under Party rule is bound to get you arrested, and the rest of the family will be implicated, too. Aren’t you just asking for trouble?” My brother-in-law followed up, “My son took the college entrance examination and had to fill out the political background check, and they asked about any religious family members. The police found your record of believing in Almighty God and they didn’t let him pass. I had to use my connections and send gifts—it took a ton of effort, and then he just barely got through. In China, if someone believes in God their whole family is dragged into it. You have to give up your faith!” Then my younger brother asked me, “Can’t you give some thought to our family, to your sons’ futures? Stop believing in God! What will happen if you give up your faith? Will it kill you?” So I told them, “Do you know what a good future is? You think that having a good job, having nice food and clothing is having a good future? Disasters are growing all the time and anyone who isn’t a believer will fall into them. Only those who believe in God and are saved by Him will survive, and only they will have a good future and fate.” My husband responded, “I don’t know what’s going to happen later on—I can only see what’s right in front of me. This is the Communist Party’s current policy—if you’re a believer, they’ll arrest you, take away your job, and this family will be implicated, too. All these years no one’s been able to change this policy of theirs, and they’re so much stronger than us! Just give up your faith! Here in front of everyone, say you will.” As soon as he was done, everyone else started saying this and that, urging me not to believe in God anymore. We used to be a big, happy family, but the Communist Party’s oppression had turned things into a mess. My husband was constantly hitting me and yelling at me, and we didn’t have a single day of peace. When was it going to end? I was getting more and more upset, so I said a prayer to God and then thought of this passage from His words: “You must suffer hardship for the truth, you must give yourself to the truth, you must endure humiliation for the truth, and to gain more of the truth you must undergo more suffering. This is what you should do. You must not throw away the truth for the sake of a peaceful family life, and you must not lose your life’s dignity and integrity for the sake of momentary enjoyment. You should pursue all that is beautiful and good, and you should pursue a path in life that is more meaningful. If you lead such a vulgar life, and do not pursue any objectives, do you not waste your life? What can you gain from such a life? You should forsake all enjoyments of the flesh for the sake of one truth, and should not throw away all truths for the sake of a little enjoyment. People like this have no integrity or dignity; there is no meaning to their existence!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). God’s words helped me understand His intention. I was steadfastly following God and doing my duty—I was on the path of pursuing the truth. My family members were pursuing money and reputation. We were on different paths, and it was inevitable that our family would fall apart. I had to accept that suffering in order to gain the truth. It had meaning. I couldn’t give up my faith for the sake of my family. So I said to them, “I’m certain that Almighty God is the true God, the Savior come to save mankind. There is absolutely no way I’m giving up my faith!” They all left when they saw they had no way of changing my mind.

When I got back home from a gathering one evening, my husband was leaning sprawled out on a table, drunk and crying. He said, “You’re out at gatherings every day. If you’re arrested again there’s no telling when our home will be ruined because of you.” Then he angrily overturned the table, grabbed me by the clothing with one hand, then smacked me with his other hand. Before I could even catch my breath, he violently slammed me down on the bathroom floor, hit me hard in the head, and said fiercely, “Give up your faith! I’m ready to risk everything tonight—I’ll beat you to death. Anyway, your own family doesn’t care if you live or die!” I was dizzy and my vision was blurry from being hit. He dragged me over to the head of the flight of stairs and shoved me down, saying, “If you fall to your death, I’ll just take your body to be burned and throw your ashes in the river!” I was really scared when I heard him say that—I was praying over and over to God. Thanks to God’s protection, I was able to grab a cord on the railing at the last second, which saved me from falling down the stairs. Then our younger son came over and said to my husband, “Have you lost your mind from drinking? Mom hasn’t done anything wrong in her faith. Why are you hitting her?” His response was, “I don’t want to hit her, but if she’s arrested again, you and your brother are done for. I don’t have any choice.” With my son by my side, he didn’t dare keep hitting me, but picked up a glass table and broke it against the wall, leaving the entire room full of broken glass.

Later on, I read this in God’s words: “Believers and nonbelievers are not compatible; rather, they are opposed to one another” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. God and Man Will Enter Into Rest Together). I thought that over, and I knew in my heart that even though my husband believed in God at first, that was just because he wanted to receive blessings. He wasn’t a true believer. When he heard that having faith could affect his and our sons’ future prospects, he did a complete about-face. He not only gave up his faith, but tried to keep me from believing in God. When he couldn’t stop me, he got violent with me and started treating me like an enemy because my belief was impacting his personal interests. I saw that in essence, my husband hated the truth and hated God. He was following the Communist Party to protect his own living; he was pursuing a worldly future and interests. I believed in God and was pursuing the truth, taking the right path in life—we were on two different paths. My husband and the rest of the family persecuting me that way because of my faith clearly showed me that they had an evil nature essence, that they were against God. My husband had gone to gatherings and he knew that Almighty God is the true God. I’d shared the gospel with my relatives and read them quite a lot of God’s words. None of them became believers, and the moment my faith compromised their interests, they went right along with the Communist Party, persecuting me and talking about cutting off ties with me. What kind of loved ones were they? They were entirely Satan’s minions, taking the Communist Party’s side, and opposing God. God has now become flesh and is expressing truths, exposing the nature essence of every type of person, and also showed me that I was taking a different path from my family—believers and nonbelievers are different types of people. I didn’t feel so constrained by them when I realized all of that, and had a sense of release.

I read this passage in God’s words later on: “For thousands of years this has been the land of filth. It is unbearably dirty, misery abounds, ghosts run rampant everywhere, tricking and deceiving, making groundless accusations, being ruthless and vicious, trampling this ghost town and leaving it littered with dead bodies; the stench of decay covers the land and pervades the air, and it is heavily guarded. Who can see the world beyond the skies? The devil tightly trusses all of man’s body, it veils both his eyes, and seals his lips firmly shut. The king of devils has rampaged for several thousand years, right up until today, when it still keeps a close watch on the ghost town, as if it were an impenetrable palace of demons; this pack of watchdogs, meanwhile, stare with glaring eyes, deeply fearful that God will catch them unawares and wipe them all out, leaving them without a place of peace and happiness. How could the people of a ghost town such as this ever have seen God? Have they ever enjoyed the dearness and loveliness of God? What appreciation have they of the matters of the human world? Who of them can understand God’s eager intentions? Small wonder, then, that God incarnate remains completely hidden: In a dark society such as this, where the demons are merciless and inhumane, how could the king of devils, who kills people without batting an eye, tolerate the existence of a God who is lovely, kind, and also holy? How could it applaud and cheer the arrival of God? These lackeys! They repay kindness with hate, they began treating God as an enemy long ago, they abuse God, they are savage in the extreme, they have not the slightest regard for God, they plunder and pillage, they have lost all conscience, they go against all conscience, and they tempt the innocent into senselessness. Forefathers of the ancient? Beloved leaders? They all oppose God! Their meddling has left all beneath heaven in a state of darkness and chaos! Religious freedom? The legitimate rights and interests of citizens? They are all tricks for covering up sin!” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. Work and Entry (8)). God’s words are so practical. The Communist Party being in power is Satan, the devil being in power. It detests God and can’t tolerate people having faith and following God. It wants to be the only thing people follow and worship. The Communist Party pretends to wave the flag of freedom of religion, but wildly oppresses and arrests believers in secret, and implicates their families. It even fabricates rumors and lies to mislead people who don’t know the truth, to get the Chinese people to rise up and oppose people of faith. So many people have been toyed with and exploited by the Communist Party, and they go along with the Party in denying and opposing God, and oppressing believers. They’re all going to meet their demise along with the Communist Party—they’ll be punished and obliterated by God. We used to have a happy family, but because of the Communist Party’s oppression and arrests, they became afraid of getting in trouble, and started oppressing me, too, becoming Satan’s tools. I clearly saw the Communist Party’s evil essence of hating the truth and hating God, and I also saw that only God has genuine love for human beings. It was God’s words that guided me time after time, giving me faith and allowing me to understand the truth, to see through Satan’s tricks. My husband still tries to stand in the way of my faith, but I’m not held back by him anymore. I continue to go to gatherings and do my duty, and I’m even firmer in my determination to follow God. I thank God from my heart!