By Zhang Wei, China

I used to be the deputy chief in the orthopedics department of a hospital. For four decades I was totally dedicated to my work, and had extensive clinical experience. Patients and peers all acknowledged my medical expertise, and wherever I went I was looked up to and respected. I felt that I stood out from the crowd, and was a cut above other people. After accepting Almighty God’s work of the last days, I saw that some brothers and sisters served as church leaders and deacons, and often fellowshipped with others about the truth to help resolve problems. Some brothers and sisters were doing text-based work or producing videos. I really envied them, and felt that people must think highly of them for doing these duties. I looked down on hosting or handling general affairs, as I felt those duties were ordinary and anonymous. I thought, “I could never do that kind of duty. I have social standing and a good education. My duty has to match my identity and status.”

After Chinese New Year in 2020, a church leader said to me, “There are a few sisters doing text-based work who don’t have a safe place to stay. Your belief in God isn’t widely known, so your house should be relatively safe. Could you host these sisters?” I thought, “I’m willing to do my duty, but how can a dignified deputy chief like me, an expert in my field, be reduced to hosting brothers and sisters, dealing with pots and pans, and slaving over a hot stove every day? Isn’t that the same as being a nanny?” I wasn’t willing and thought, “Any duty is more dignified than hosting. Whatever you do, you have to arrange a duty for me that has status, or requires some skill. That way I won’t lose my dignity! Isn’t hosting the sisters a waste of my talent? If my friends and family knew that I gave up my expert status just to stay home and cook for other people, wouldn’t they laugh their heads off?” The more I thought about it, the more aggrieved I felt. But at that time, the church urgently needed a host house. So even though that duty wasn’t to my liking, I couldn’t refuse at such a critical time—that would show a lack of humanity. Later, it occurred to me that my stature was small, and I had little understanding of the truth. But if I was always interacting with these sisters who do text-based work, I could learn from them. Then maybe the church would arrange for me to do that duty, too. Hosting the sisters would be temporary. Besides, at that time the economic benefits of working at the hospital weren’t very good, and I didn’t want to go to work. So I resigned from my position, and readily assumed the hosting duty.

Previously, I had always been busy with work and rarely cooked. But to make sure the sisters enjoyed tasty meals, I threw myself into learning how to cook. But after cooking the food, I didn’t want to take it out to the table, because I always felt that was a task of serving others. When I worked in the hospital, other people prepared meals for me, colleagues in every department would stand up to speak to me when I showed up, and I was valued wherever I went. But now, every day I was wearing an apron and oil-stained clothes and cleaning up greasy pots and pans, while the sisters wore clean clothes and sat in front of computers. I felt pain in my heart, and felt aggrieved, thinking, “‘Those who toil with their minds govern others, and those who toil with their hands are governed by others,’ and ‘Birds of a feather flock together.’ Cooking and being a host is physical work, and not on the same level as what the sisters were doing.” The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. It was like carrying a heavy burden that I couldn’t put down, and I didn’t want to do that duty long-term. I thought, “I’ve authored medical papers and been praised in my field, so my writing skills can’t be too bad. If I can write some good experiential testimony articles, perhaps the leader will see that I have talent, and arrange for me to do text-based work.” So I started to get up early and stay up late to write experiential articles. The sisters read them and said that my writing was pretty good. I was delighted, and sent the articles off to the leader. I waited and waited, but the leader still didn’t arrange for me to do text-based work. I was so disappointed, and gradually lost my enthusiasm for writing articles.

A few days later, I heard that the church needed personnel to produce videos, and thought, “Video production is a role that takes some skill. This is an opportunity, and if I can learn how to produce videos, I’ll have a specialized skill.” So I started to get up early and stay up late again, and worked to learn video production skills. But since I’m old, I couldn’t work fast enough to keep up with the young people. So that hope was also dashed. I was discouraged. It seemed like I wasn’t destined to get a more “high-level” duty, and was stuck doing physical labor. I felt like I was being snubbed, and for a few days I didn’t eat or sleep well. I also kept forgetting what I was doing in the middle of cooking, and couldn’t focus on anything. Sometimes I cut myself while slicing vegetables, or burned my hand. I kept dropping bowls and spoons and lids on the floor, making a terrible racket that startled me. When the sisters heard the commotion, they dropped whatever they were working on and rushed in to help me clean up. When I saw how I was impacting the sisters as they did their duty, I felt very guilty. In the midst of my misery, I prayed to God, “Oh God! Having to host these sisters always makes me feel inferior to other people. I feel wronged, and can’t submit. I don’t know how to get through this. Please guide me.”

Later, I read a passage of God’s words: “Whatever your duty, do not discriminate between high and low. Suppose you say, ‘Though this task is a commission from God and the work of God’s house, if I do it, people might look down on me. Others get to do work that lets them stand out. I’ve been given this task, which doesn’t let me stand out but makes me exert myself behind the scenes, it’s unfair! I will not do this duty. My duty has to be one that makes me stand out in front of others and allows me to make a name for myself—and even if I don’t make a name for myself or stand out, I still have to benefit from it and feel physically at ease.’ Is this an acceptable attitude? Being picky is not accepting things from God; it is making choices according to your own preferences. This is not accepting your duty; it is a refusal of your duty, a manifestation of your rebelliousness against God. Such pickiness is adulterated with your individual preferences and desires. When you give consideration to your own benefit, your reputation, and so on, your attitude toward your duty is not submissive” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. What Is the Adequate Performance of Duty?). What God’s words exposed was a perfect reflection of my own state. I thought of myself as an expert with a high status who was valued and looked up to wherever I went. On that basis, I felt that I stood out from the crowd. When I was assigned to host the sisters, I felt like I lost my “expert” status, and that was an injustice. Through the judgment and exposure of God’s words, I realized that the reason I looked down on hosting work so much was that I always viewed duties from the standpoint of a nonbeliever. I was looking at duties in terms of high or low, ranking them in a hierarchy. I was happy to do any duty that could bring me recognition and fame, but looked down on low-profile duties. Since I was bound by those perspectives, I did my duty reluctantly, and even considered giving it up altogether. I saw that in doing my duty, I didn’t give the slightest consideration to God’s intentions. It was clearly all about standing out from the crowd and pursuing reputation and status. It was God’s grace that gave me an opportunity to do my duty, but I was picking and choosing based on my own personal preferences. I truly lacked any sense of reason. When I realized that, I felt so indebted to God, and quietly resolved to put my mind at ease to try my best to do my duty.

After that, I consciously ate and drank God’s words and prayed to Him about my state, and was able to settle down and host the sisters. But what happened next shook me up again. One of the sisters I was hosting was elected as a church leader. I really envied her and thought, “I can see that people who do text-based work are valued. They are well-regarded and stand out, and can even be a church leader. But look at me hosting sisters, what chance do I have to distinguish myself? Every day I wore an apron, and constantly smelled like oil and smoke from cooking. Every time I went out to stock up on food, I was afraid to be recognized by someone I knew, and asked why a good doctor with such great medical skills like me was not working. So every time I went out, I kept my head down, stayed close to the wall, and tried to slip by. When I got home, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief. In the past, on any occasion I would stand up front, and often go on stage to speak. And wherever I went, everyone would take the initiative to shake my hand. But now I didn’t want anyone to see me, and when I bought vegetables, I felt like I was sneaking around.” The more I thought about it the more I suffered inside. I couldn’t help but think about my past glory in secular society, and I especially missed titles like “expert,” “director,” and “professor.” I couldn’t help but reminisce about the leaders who held me in high regard, colleagues who praised me, and patients who surrounded me with words of thanks, making me feel that I lived a decent and dignified life. I felt like I went from the top of the world to the bottom of the heap, and wondered when my current duty would end. I couldn’t help but feel sad. I saw that the sisters were enjoying their meals, but I didn’t feel like eating and soon lost quite a bit of weight. Then I received an unexpected call from the hospital director inviting me to return to work. That knocked me off balance again, and I thought, “It would be better to go back to work, live the kind of life where people look up to me, and regain my prestige as an expert. But hosting is pretty important. I have to be at home and protect the sisters’ safety, and if I went back to work, I wouldn’t be able to do this duty.” I hurried to pray to God, “Oh God! I can’t let go of the status and glory of my past. Please guide me to know myself and submit.”

While I was seeking, I read a passage of God’s words: “Think about it—how should you approach man’s worth, social status, and family background? What is the correct attitude you should have? First of all, you should see from God’s words how He approaches this matter; only in this way will you come to understand the truth and not do anything that goes against the truth. So, how does God regard someone’s family background, social status, the education they received, and the wealth they possess in society? If you don’t see things based on God’s words and cannot stand on God’s side and accept things from God, then the way you see things will certainly be a far cry from what God intends. If there is not much difference, with only a little discrepancy, then that’s not a problem; if the way you see things goes completely against what God intends, then it is at odds with the truth. As far as God is concerned, what He gives people and how much He gives is up to Him, and the status people have in society is also ordained by God and is absolutely not contrived by people themselves. If God causes someone to suffer pain and poverty, does that mean they have no hope of being saved? If they are of low worth and low social position, will God not save them? If they have a low status in society, are they then of low status in the eyes of God? Not necessarily. What does this depend on? It depends on the path this person walks, on what they pursue, and on their attitude toward the truth and God. If someone’s social status is very low, their family is very poor, and they have a low level of education, yet they believe in God in a down-to-earth manner, and they love the truth and positive things, then in God’s eyes do they have a high or low worth, are they valuable or worthless? They are valuable. Looking at it from this perspective, what does someone’s worth—whether high or low, noble or lowly—depend on? It depends on how God sees you. If God sees you as someone who pursues the truth, then you have worth and are valuable—you are a valuable vessel. If God sees that you do not pursue the truth and you do not sincerely expend yourself for Him, then you are worthless and are not valuable—you are a lowly vessel. No matter how highly educated you are or how high your status in society is, if you don’t pursue or understand the truth, then your worth can never be high; even if many people support you, praise you, and adore you, you are still a contemptible wretch. So, why does God see people this way? Why is such a ‘noble’ person, with such a high status in society, with so many people praising and admiring them, with even their prestige being so high, seen by God as lowly? Why is the way God sees people totally contrary to the views people have of others? Is God setting Himself against people on purpose? Absolutely not. It’s because God is truth, God is righteousness, whereas man is corrupt and has no truth or righteousness, and God measures man by His own standard, and His standard for measuring man is the truth” (The Word, Vol. 4. Exposing Antichrists. Item Seven: They Are Wicked, Insidious, and Deceitful (Part One)). God’s words brightened my heart. The root cause of my suffering was that I didn’t see things based on God’s words and the truth. Instead, I used Satan’s point of view to rank duties as high or low, and a hierarchy of ranks, and used social status, reputation, education, and professional accomplishments as standards for success. Dominated by these perspectives, I saw myself as a cut above and noble. I felt that I was an expert with status and a good position, that I stood out from the crowd, and was better than other people. Even after I came to believe in God, I kept that point of view. So I saw duties like leader and worker, and those that required high skills, as important. But hosting or handling general affairs to me were unimportant, and I felt that they were low-status positions that didn’t match my social standing. When the leader wanted me to host the sisters, I couldn’t submit. While doing my duty, I was missing my former prestige, so I couldn’t eat or sleep well. I was in distress, and lost a lot of weight. It was unbearably painful. But through the exposure and judgment of God’s words, I saw His righteousness. He is not concerned about whether someone’s status is high or low, or their qualifications or educational attainments. God is concerned about whether people pursue the truth, and what path they’re on. No matter how high their status, or how great their academic accomplishments and reputation, if they do not love the truth, and are averse to the truth, they are lowly in God’s eyes. God values those who pursue and gain the truth, even if they have no status at all. I learned that no matter how many people support and praise me, and no matter how high my status is, if I cannot submit to God and do the duty of a created being, I am utterly worthless.

Later, I wondered about the reason why despite clearly knowing that I had the wrong point of view, but still couldn’t help but pursue duties that were more prestigious and would make me stand out. While I was seeking, I saw a passage of God’s words that said: “Satan uses fame and gain to control man’s thoughts, until all people can think of is fame and gain. They struggle for fame and gain, suffer hardships for fame and gain, endure humiliation for fame and gain, sacrifice everything they have for fame and gain, and they will make any judgment or decision for the sake of fame and gain. In this way, Satan binds people with invisible shackles, and they have neither the strength nor the courage to throw them off. They unknowingly bear these shackles and trudge ever onward with great difficulty. For the sake of this fame and gain, mankind shuns God and betrays Him and becomes increasingly wicked. In this way, therefore, one generation after another is destroyed in the midst of Satan’s fame and gain” (The Word, Vol. 2. On Knowing God. God Himself, the Unique VI). Through the exposure of God’s words, I saw that Satan was victimizing and binding me through fame and gain, keeping a tight hold on me. Since I was young, I accepted the things instilled by my parents, taught in the schools, and imparted by secular society like “Man struggles upward; water flows downward,” “A man leaves his name behind wherever he stays, just as a goose utters its cry wherever it flies,” and “Those who toil with their minds govern others, and those who toil with their hands are governed by others.” Very early, these satanic philosophies and fallacies had taken root in my heart. This led me to consider fame and gain as the correct goals in life, and feel that if I attained them, other people would think highly of me and support me. So whether it was at school, in society, or in the church, I valued rank and status. I worked hard to develop specialized skills, hoping to attain higher status and prestige within the group. I felt that was the only kind of life that would reflect the value of my existence. When I couldn’t attain fame and status, I felt that the future looked bleak, miserable, and was apathetic about doing my duty. Status, fame, and gain were like shackles, constantly controlling me, so I couldn’t help but shun and betray God. I also realized that although hosting the sisters seemed rather ordinary, that environment helped me to recognize that I had a fallacious view about what to pursue, and be able to pursue the truth in doing my duty and cast off the fetters of fame and gain. Once I understood God’s good intentions, I thanked Him from the bottom of my heart, and was filled with remorse. I prayed to Him, “Oh God, thank You for setting up this environment to reveal my misguided viewpoint of pursuit. I want to repent and stop pursuing status and reputation. I want to submit, and do my duty well.” Then I politely declined the hospital’s offer, and continued to stay at home and do my duty.

Afterward, I read two more passages of God’s words: “What kind of person does God want? Does He want a person of greatness, a celebrity, a noble person, or a world-shaking person? (No.) So, then, what kind of person does God want? (Someone with their feet planted firmly on the ground who fulfills the role of a created being.) Yes, and what else? (God wants an honest person who fears Him and shuns evil, and submits to Him.) (Someone who stands with God in all matters, who strives to love God.) Those answers are also correct. It is anyone who is of the same heart and mind as God” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. A Corrupt Disposition Can Only Be Resolved by Accepting the Truth). “Ultimately, whether people can attain salvation is not dependent on what duty they do, but on whether they can understand and gain the truth, and on whether they can, in the end, entirely submit to God, put themselves at the mercy of His arrangement, give no consideration to their future and destiny, and become a qualified created being. God is righteous and holy, and these are the standards He uses to measure all mankind. These standards are immutable, and you must remember this. Inscribe these standards in your mind, and at any time, do not think of finding some other path to pursue some unreal thing. The requirements and standards God has for all who want to attain salvation are forever unchanging. They remain the same no matter who you are” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Part Three). I realized that God doesn’t want people who are noble. He wants people who can fulfill the duty of a created being with their feet firmly on the ground. Although I had some identity and status in the secular world, my understanding of the truth was too shallow. Being a leader and worker, or doing text-based work requires an understanding of the truth, and can’t be done with just having status, knowledge, and education. I should be reasonable, and do any duty that I was capable of. Since my home was suitable for hosting, I should host the sisters in a down-to-earth manner, and do my best to pursue the truth. That was the reason I should possess. No matter what duty we do, although the titles and tasks are different, a created being’s identity and essence remain unchanged. I used to have an inflated opinion of myself, and thought I was so noble. I always saw myself as an expert and renowned physician, as if I was better than everyone else. I felt that hosting brothers and sisters had low status, and yearned for a more prestigious and prominent duty. I felt that the grass always looked greener on the other side, and couldn’t stay grounded and do my duty well. In my heart, I even opposed God. I was arrogant to the point of being totally unreasonable. I thought of Job, who was the greatest of all the men of the East. He had high status and great renown, but he did not see himself in terms of status, or care about the prestige it gave him. Regardless of whether he had status or not, Job was able to fear and honor God as great. Job was rational. Although I can’t compare to Job, I want to follow his example, and pursue being a qualified created being. Once I stopped pursuing fame, gain, and status, my attitude also changed. I saw that every duty is important and even indispensable. If no one acts as host, the brothers and sisters won’t be able to have a suitable environment where they can feel at ease and do their duty. Thereafter, I made a conscious effort to rebel against myself, and dedicated my efforts to preparing good meals and protecting the sisters’ safety so they could do their duty in peace. Gradually, I no longer felt any status gap between us, and would silently sing hymns to myself while cooking. After my work was done, I would pray-read God’s words, quiet my heart and ponder what I had gained through my experience, and then write my experiential articles. Every day, I lead a pretty fulfilling life. I feel this is a peaceful way to live, and my heart has been set free.