By Kristen, Italy

In October 2021, I started practicing watering newcomers. One week in, I realized there was too much I had to learn. I had to familiarize myself with truth principles of all sorts, and I also had to practice fellowshipping on the truth to resolve their various issues and difficulties, but my understanding of the truth was superficial and chatting wasn’t my forte. I found it to be a really difficult duty, especially when the team leader wanted me to resolve newcomers’ issues and difficulties quickly. All newcomers had quite a few problems, so to resolve them, I had to seek lots of relevant truths, and consider how to fellowship clearly. How much price did I have to pay to do this? I found that all of this was really difficult to achieve, so I told the team leader that I was lacking caliber and couldn’t do it well. The team leader fellowshipped with me, saying I needed to bear a burden in my duty and I shouldn’t fear suffering. I reluctantly agreed after hearing her fellowship, but in my heart, I didn’t want to pay a price. In gatherings, I kept fellowshipping with newcomers like I always had, and because I didn’t know their struggles, I’d just ramble on in my fellowship and not achieve results, causing the number of newcomers who attended gatherings regularly to start declining. When the team leader found the problem, she asked me to help and support them right away, but I thought to myself, “The gospel spreaders have already given them lots of fellowship on the truth of visions of God’s work, yet they still aren’t coming to gatherings. So would my fellowshipping accomplish anything? Besides, all those newcomers haven’t been gathering recently, so going to fellowship with them will certainly take lots of time, which will be exhausting.” At that thought, I just sent them messages to briefly say hello, and shelved those who didn’t respond, paying them no mind. For those who had more troubles, I put them off to last on my list for fellowship, or just fobbed them off onto gospel spreaders to support. Before long, some newcomers stopped gathering because their issues had been unresolved for so long. I felt guilty and upset whenever I noticed newcomers weren’t gathering, and that I should pay more of a price to resolve their issues. But when I thought of what a hassle that would be, I just let it pass.

I remember one newcomer, a former Catholic, who developed notions about God incarnate appearing and working in the last days, and stopped gathering. No matter how I messaged or called her, she just ignored me. Two days later, she left me this message, “I was born into a Catholic family. I’ve been a Catholic since I was a little girl, and now it’s been 64 years. I only believe in the Lord Jesus—I won’t believe in Almighty God.” My response was, “Almighty God is the Lord Jesus returned. The only way to be saved and enter the kingdom of heaven is to accept the Lord’s appearance and work in the last days.” Afterward, she didn’t respond. I sought her out a few more times, but she still ignored me. So I pushed this problem off onto the team leader. Unexpectedly, she sent me some relevant passages of God’s words, asking me to seek the truth to resolve this. Seeing I needed to equip myself with lots of truths and give thought to how to fellowship to achieve results, it all felt so taxing. The newcomer wasn’t responding to me and even if I spent time equipping myself, she still might not listen to my fellowship, so I just put her to one side and ignored her. There was a newcomer who was really busy with work every day, and she never had time to attend the gatherings I invited her to. At first, I kept sending her words of God and hymns every day, but each time she’d just respond with an “Amen,” and then not show up to gatherings. Eventually, I stopped sending her God’s words. I felt like she was too busy with work, and that this was her real situation, and that no matter how much time I invested, I couldn’t solve that problem. Actually, I knew I should arrange suitable gathering times around her difficulties, and then find relevant passages of God’s words to fellowship with her on her notions, and that this was the only way to achieve results. But I felt doing this was too complicated and bothersome, so I didn’t want to pay this price. However, if I didn’t fellowship with her and the leader found out, she’d prune me for not doing real work. So I had to force myself to fellowship with the newcomer a couple of times, and when I saw she still wasn’t attending gatherings, I felt she didn’t thirst for the truth, and that it wasn’t a lack of effort on my part. So I just ended up disregarding her. I’d always been perfunctory in my duty, ducking all hardships. When I encountered newcomers with notions or real hardships, I didn’t want to put in the effort of considering how to resolve their issues, and I’d just hand these issues off to the team leader. After a few months, very few newcomers were gathering normally. The leader pruned and exposed me after she discovered this issue. She said I was being too perfunctory in my duty and told me I needed to change right away. So I resolved that I would rebel against my flesh and water the newcomers well. But when faced with newcomers with lots of issues, I was still unwilling to pay a price in resolving their problems. Instead, I’d just find an excuse and say I was lacking caliber and wasn’t fit for that duty. Seeing that I remained perfunctory, didn’t change, and nothing was coming of my duty, the leader pruned me harshly, saying, “You’re too perfunctory in your duty! You never ask about the newcomers’ problems, and even when you do learn a bit about them, you don’t put effort into resolving them. How is that doing a duty? You’re just harming the newcomers! If you don’t change you’ll be dismissed.” Having been pruned and warned like that, I felt both guilty and afraid. I started to self-reflect: Why couldn’t I do this duty well, and I always felt it was too hard?

One day in my devotionals, I read this passage of God’s words: “Some people lack any principles when performing their duty. They consistently follow their own inclinations and act arbitrarily. Is this not a display of perfunctoriness? Are they not deceiving God? Have you ever considered the consequences of such behavior? You show no consideration for God’s intentions through your performance of duty. You are thoughtless and inefficient in everything you do, lacking wholehearted dedication and effort. Can you gain God’s approval this way? Many people perform their duty reluctantly, and they cannot persevere. They cannot endure even the slightest suffering and they always feel that they have been done a great disservice, nor do they seek the truth to resolve difficulties. Can they follow God to the end by performing their duty in this way? Is it alright to be perfunctory in whatever they do? Can this be acceptable to the conscience? Even measured by human standards, such behavior is unacceptable—so may it be accounted as the satisfactory performance of duty? If you perform your duty in this way, you will never gain the truth. Your laboring will be unsatisfactory. How, then, could you gain God’s approval? Many people fear hardship when performing their duty, they are too lazy and crave physical comfort. They never invest any effort into learning specialized skills or contemplating the truths in God’s words. They believe that being perfunctory in this way saves them trouble. They don’t need to do any research or seek advice from others. They don’t need to use their minds or think deeply. This seems to save them a lot of effort and physical discomfort, and they still manage to complete the task. And if you prune them, they become defiant and argue, saying: ‘I wasn’t lazy or idle, the task was done—why are you nitpicking? Aren’t you just trying to find fault with me? I’m already doing well enough by performing my duty like this. How are you not satisfied?’ Do you think people like this can make any further progress? They consistently perform their duties in a perfunctory manner, and always come up with excuses. When problems arise they refuse to let anyone point them out. What kind of disposition is this? Is it not the disposition of Satan? Can people perform their duty acceptably with such a disposition? Can they satisfy God?” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only One Who Performs Their Duty Well With All Their Heart, Mind, and Soul Is One Who Loves God). God exposes many people for being too lazy in their duty, always craving carnal comforts, lacking diligence, and being satisfied with the appearance of being busy. They can’t ever do their duty well that way. I realized that the reason I wasn’t getting results in my duty wasn’t because I lacked caliber, but rather because I was just lazy, and afraid of suffering. I felt that watering newcomers meant I had to know lots of truths, that I had to learn to resolve their various problems and difficulties, and that made it a really taxing duty, so I just muddled through it. The team leader wanted me to see to newcomers’ issues as soon as possible, and I could have if I’d worked hard. But when I saw this needed more time and effort, I fobbed it off onto the team leader or the gospel spreaders. I’d see newcomers not attending gatherings because they had notions or were facing difficulties and problems, and yet I’d be indifferent. I was unresponsive when others told me of paths of resolution. Sometimes I sent newcomers God’s words or hymns, but after a few days I couldn’t keep it up, and I’d just disregard them. I saw that I really was lazy, greedy for pleasures of the flesh, and that I wasn’t genuine in my duty at all. I was just being deceitful, drifting along in the church. To God, I was so disgusting and hateful!

After that, I read this in God’s words: “There are not many opportunities currently to perform a duty, so you must take hold of them when you can. It is precisely when faced with a duty that you must exert yourself; that is when you must offer yourself up, expend yourself for God, and when you are required to pay the price. Do not hold anything back, harbor any schemes, leave any leeway, or give yourself a way out. If you leave any leeway, are calculating, or are wily and treacherous, then you are bound to do a poor job. Suppose you say, ‘No one saw me acting in a slick way. How cool!’ What kind of thinking is this? Do you think you have pulled the wool over people’s eyes, and over God’s, too? In actual fact, though, does God know what you have done or not? He knows. In fact, anyone who interacts with you for a while will learn of your corruption and vileness, and though they may not say so outright, they will have their assessments of you in their hearts. There have been many people who were revealed and eliminated because so many others came to understand them. Once everyone saw through to their essence, they exposed those people for who they were and kicked them out. So, whether they pursue the truth or not, people should do their duty well to the best of their ability; they should employ their conscience in doing practical things. You may have defects, but if you can be effective in performing your duty, you will not be eliminated. If you are always thinking that you are fine, that you are sure not to be eliminated, if you still do not reflect or try to know yourself, and you ignore your proper tasks, if you are always perfunctory, then when God’s chosen people really do lose their tolerance with you, they will expose you for who you are, and in all likelihood, you will be eliminated. That’s because everyone has seen through you and you have lost your dignity and integrity. If no one trusts you, could God trust you? God scrutinizes man’s innermost heart: He absolutely could not trust such a person. … Trustworthy people are people who have humanity, and people who have humanity are possessed of conscience and reason, and it should be very easy for them to perform their duty well, because they treat their duty as their obligation. People without conscience or reason are bound to perform their duty poorly, and they have no sense of responsibility toward their duty no matter what it is. Others always have to worry over them, supervise them, and ask about their progress; if not, things could go awry while performing their duty, and things could go wrong while performing a task, which would be more trouble than it’s worth. In short, people always need to examine themselves when performing their duties, ‘Have I adequately fulfilled this duty? Did I put my heart into it? Or did I just muddle through it?’ If you are always perfunctory, you’re in danger. At the very least, it means you have no credibility, and that people cannot trust you. More seriously, if you always just go through the motions when doing your duty, and if you always deceive God, then you are in great danger! What are the consequences of being knowingly deceitful? Everyone can see that you are knowingly transgressing, that you are living according to nothing but your own corrupt disposition, that you are nothing but perfunctory, that you do not practice the truth at all—which means you are devoid of humanity! If this is manifested in you throughout, if you avoid major mistakes but are unceasing in the minor ones, and unrepentant from start to finish, then you are an evil person, a disbeliever, and should be cleared out. Such consequences are heinous—you are completely revealed and eliminated as a disbeliever and evil person” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Life Entry Begins With the Performance of Duty). “How you regard God’s commissions is extremely important, and this is a very serious matter. If you cannot complete what God has entrusted to people, then you are not fit to live in His presence and you should be punished. It is perfectly natural and justified that humans should complete whatever commissions God entrusts to them. This is man’s supreme responsibility, and is just as important as their very lives. If you do not take God’s commissions seriously, then you are betraying Him in the most grievous way. In this, you are more lamentable than Judas, and should be cursed” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Know Man’s Nature). Faced with the exposure of God’s words, I could feel His disgust and wrath for those who are perfunctory in their duty. They lack conscience, reason, integrity, and dignity, and are completely untrustworthy. If they remain unrepentant, they are evil people, disbelievers, and should be eliminated. Watering newcomers is an important job. They’ve just accepted God’s new work, and they need more watering to put down roots in the true way, so Satan won’t capture them. Furthermore, no one who accepts God’s work does it so easily or smoothly: It’s all through God’s enlightenment and guidance and a number of brothers and sisters paying a price to water, provide for, sustain and help them. Only then can they be brought before God. As a waterer, watering newcomers was my responsibility. Especially when I saw newcomers with difficulties, I should have had a sense of urgency and found ways to resolve these issues. But instead, I shirked the hard jobs and was slippery. When I saw the newcomers facing difficulties, I’d always choose the problems that were easy to resolve, and set difficult issues aside and ignore them. Even worse, I was clearly being slippery and irresponsible in my duty, causing some newcomers to not attend gatherings and even drop out, but I shirked responsibility by saying that they didn’t thirst for the truth, or that I lacked caliber and couldn’t solve their problems to deceive others and exonerate myself for being perfunctory. Wasn’t I doing my duty just like how a nonbeliever works for their boss? I was playing tricks, muddling through my days, without any awareness of conscience. After all my years of faith, I still attempted to fool and cheat God without even batting an eyelid. I was so cunning and deceitful! I didn’t have any humanity at all. Back when I first accepted God’s gospel of the last days, I was busy with work every day, and my parents were obstructing my faith. I felt really stressed and even thought about giving up on gatherings. But the brothers and sisters patiently fellowshipped the truth with me time after time and set up gatherings to fit my schedule. Sometimes I couldn’t attend because I was too busy with work, so brothers and sisters rode long distances on their bikes to fellowship God’s word with me, to help and support me. And slowly, I learned about God’s work, and saw that the only way to be saved is to pursue the truth. I then became willing to attend gatherings and take on a duty. The church always emphasizes that watering newcomers requires patience and great consideration for their difficulties, that we have to help them with love and encourage them to attend gatherings so they can put down roots in the true way as soon as possible. I saw that God is full of love and mercy for us, and that He saves us to the greatest extent possible. He’s incredibly conscientious toward every single person who investigates the true way. He won’t give up if there’s even a shred of hope. But I was so cold and had no sense of responsibility toward newcomers. I didn’t care at all about their life entry, which meant their problems weren’t getting resolved promptly, and that some didn’t want to attend gatherings anymore. Based on my behavior, how was that doing a duty at all? I was just doing evil, trying to fool and cheat God! I felt so guilty when I realized this and I hated myself for being so lacking in humanity.

I read this passage of God’s words later: “Are you content to live under the influence of Satan, with peace and joy, and a little fleshly comfort? Are you not the lowliest of all people? None are more foolish than those who have beheld salvation but do not pursue to gain it; these are people who gorge themselves on the flesh and enjoy Satan. You hope that your faith in God will not entail any challenges or tribulations, or the slightest hardship. You always pursue those things that are worthless, and you attach no value to life, instead putting your own extravagant thoughts before the truth. You are so worthless! You live like a pig—what difference is there between you, and pigs and dogs? Are those who do not pursue the truth, and instead love the flesh, not all beasts? Are those dead ones without spirits not all walking corpses? How many words have been spoken among you? Has only a little work been done among you? How much have I provided among you? So why have you not gained it? What do you have to complain of? Is it not the case that you have gained nothing because you are too in love with the flesh? And is it not because your thoughts are too extravagant? Is it not because you are too stupid? If you are incapable of gaining these blessings, can you blame God for not saving you? … I give you the true way without asking for anything in return, yet you do not pursue. Are you one of those who believe in God? I bestow real human life upon you, yet you do not pursue. Are you no different from a pig or a dog? Pigs do not pursue the life of man, they do not pursue being cleansed, and they do not understand what life is. Each day, after eating their fill, they simply sleep. I have given you the true way, yet you have not gained it: You are empty-handed. Are you willing to continue in this life, the life of a pig? What is the significance of such people being alive? Your life is contemptible and ignoble, you live amid filth and licentiousness, and you do not pursue any goals; is your life not the most ignoble of all? Do you have the gall to look upon God? If you continue to experience in this way, will you not acquire nothing? The true way has been given to you, but whether or not you can ultimately gain it depends on your own personal pursuit” (The Word, Vol. 1. The Appearance and Work of God. The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment). Reading the reprimanding words of God, I felt such guilt and self-reproach. To cleanse and transform our corrupt dispositions, to give us a chance at salvation, God has earnestly provided for us with so many truths, and He has fellowshipped in great detail on every aspect of the truth, afraid we won’t understand it. God has paid such a great price in His efforts for us. Anyone with humanity should put effort into pursuing the truth and be loyal to their duty. But I was totally lacking in conscience. I wasn’t pursuing the truth at all, I only cared about physical comfort, and was still just living by satanic philosophies, like “Live life on autopilot,” and “Life is short, so enjoy it while you can.” I took these satanic philosophies as words of wisdom to live by, thinking that we had to treat ourselves well in the few decades we had on earth, and not strain ourselves too much, and that we had to make our lives carefree and happy. I was doing a duty under the condition that I wouldn’t suffer carnal discomfort or weariness. I did whatever was easiest. Any time I had to rack my brains about something, I became resistant and ran away, either pushing the problem off onto someone else or shelving and ignoring it. I wasn’t taking my duty seriously at all, so some newcomers’ issues weren’t resolved and they stopped attending gatherings. It was only then that I saw that those satanic philosophies had made me more and more depraved. I craved comfort all day and didn’t pursue the truth at all, made a mess of my duty, and wasn’t even being remotely concerned about it. I was neglecting my duties, not gaining the truths I should have gained, and not fulfilling my responsibilities. Was I not a complete good-for-nothing? I really experienced that craving carnal comfort was harming myself and ruining my chance at salvation. Encountering difficulties in a duty is actually a good chance to lean on God and seek the truth. Difficulties forcing me to seek the truth and learn to follow principles in my duty were good channels for me to pursue the truth and life entry. But I was treating these things like a nuisance, a burden to be shrugged off. Realizing that, I really regretted how I’d coddled my flesh, and lost so many good chances to understand the truth. I didn’t want to keep muddling through. I had to rebel against the flesh and put my heart into my duty.

One day I read a passage of God’s words that exposes false leaders, which made me better understand the consequences of being perfunctory in my duty. God’s words say: “Say there is a job that could be completed in one month by one person. If it takes six months to do this job, do the expenditures of the remaining five months not constitute a loss? Let Me give an example about preaching the gospel. Say that a person is willing to investigate the true way and could probably be won over in just one month, after which they would enter the church and continue to receive watering and provision, and within six months they could establish a foundation. But if the attitude the person preaching the gospel takes toward this matter is one of disregard and perfunctoriness, and the leaders and workers also ignore their responsibilities, and it ends up taking half a year to win that person over, will this half a year not constitute a loss to their life? If they encounter the great disasters and they have not yet laid down a foundation on the true way, they will be in danger, and will those people not have failed them then? Such a loss cannot be measured with money or material things. Those people will have held up that person’s understanding of the truth by half a year; they will have delayed them in establishing a foundation and in starting to do their duty by half a year. Who will take responsibility for this? Can the leaders and workers afford to take responsibility for this? No one can afford to bear the responsibility for holding up someone’s life” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (4)). God’s words made me feel ashamed and remorseful. I was just like a false leader who didn’t do real work, was remiss in my duty and irresponsible, causing newcomers to not gather, and some to even leave the faith because their issues weren’t resolved. Wasn’t watering newcomers that way just harming them? Even though some didn’t leave the faith, their lives suffered losses because they held onto notions and didn’t gather for a long time. Those are losses I have no way of making up for. If I had not cared so much about my flesh, been able to pay a price, and had treated each newcomer’s problems seriously, then maybe some of them would have been able to understand the truth and put down roots in the true way earlier, live a life of the church, do a duty, accumulate good deeds sooner, and things wouldn’t have turned out as they did. But at that point, it was too late for words. I felt really upset and guilty, and incredibly indebted to God. That was a transgression, a stain I’d left on my duty! I was filled with regret and fear, too. I felt like I’d caused huge problems. In tears, I prayed, “God, I always covet ease and I’m perfunctory in my duty, which disgusts You. I want to repent to You. Please scrutinize my heart. If I continue to be perfunctory, please chasten and discipline me.”

I then listed the newcomers who were negative, weak, and not attending gatherings, and looked for relevant words of God to resolve their issues. I also asked sisters who were good at watering about principles and approaches. Later on, I sought out the newcomer with religious notions, who wasn’t gathering. I sent her a number of messages, none of which she responded to. I was feeling kind of deflated and thought that I should forget about it. Anyway she was the one who stopped responding—this much was true. I then sent the newcomer who was busy with work another message, and when I saw her turn down my gathering invite, I didn’t want to pay any further price in supporting her. At that moment, I thought of my prayer to God, as well as these words of His: “When people perform their duty, they are, in fact, doing what they ought to do. If you do it before God, if you perform your duty and submit to God with an attitude of honesty and with heart, will this attitude not be far more correct? So how should you apply this attitude to your everyday life? You must make ‘worshiping God with heart and honesty’ your reality. Whenever you want to be slack and just go through the motions, whenever you want to act in a slippery way and be lazy, and whenever you get distracted or would rather be enjoying yourself, you should consider: ‘In behaving like this, am I being untrustworthy? Is this putting my heart into doing my duty? Am I being disloyal by doing this? In doing this, am I failing to live up to the commission God has entrusted to me?’ This is how you should self-reflect. If you come to find out that you are always perfunctory in your duty, that you are disloyal, and that you have hurt God, what should you do? You should say, ‘In the moment I sensed that there was something wrong here, but I didn’t treat it as a problem; I just glossed over it carelessly. I didn’t realize until now that I really had been perfunctory, that I had not lived up to my responsibility. I truly am lacking in conscience and reason!’ You have found the problem and come to know a bit about yourself—so now, you must turn yourself around! Your attitude toward performing your duty was wrong. You were careless with it, as with an extra job, and you did not put your heart into it. If you are perfunctory like this again, you must pray to God and let Him discipline and chasten you. You must have such a will in performing your duty. Only then can you truly repent. You may turn yourself around only when your conscience is clear and your attitude toward performing your duty is transformed” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. Only in the Frequent Reading of God’s Words and Contemplation of the Truth Is There a Way Ahead). God’s words helped me see that doing a duty well isn’t hard, that we must be honest, accept God’s scrutiny, and do our utmost to carry out what we know, what we can, not use trickery or be perfunctory, and that we need this type of attitude to do our duty well. So I resolved that this time I wouldn’t disappoint God again. Even if those newcomers didn’t attend gatherings after my help and support, I’d still have fulfilled my responsibility, and be without regrets.

I went to talk to another sister seeking a path of practice and I also sought out that newcomer with religious notions for fellowship. I opened up to her about my own experiences of faith. To my surprise, she responded to my messages. She actually really enjoyed the gatherings, but had a few unresolved notions and confusions. I was really stirred by this newcomer’s heartfelt words and I shared fellowship directed at her notions. In the end, she agreed to attend gatherings and before long, she took on a duty. I had this indescribable feeling when I saw how things turned out that way. I felt both joy and remorse. Without the enlightenment and illumination of God’s words that allowed me to know myself and changed my attitude toward my duty, I would have committed another transgression. After that, I sought out the newcomer who was busy with work again. Before, I’d always been pushing her to attend gatherings without considering her difficulties. This time, I fellowshipped on God’s words to help her based on her actual situation, and adjusted gathering times appropriately. When she didn’t have time for a gathering, I’d read God’s words with her when she had free time, and patiently shared fellowship with her. Then she became willing to open up her heart to me and talk about God’s words she’d read. She also told me happily that no matter what, she wouldn’t just give up on gathering, or eating and drinking God’s words. After that, she never missed another gathering, and no matter how busy her work was, she devoted time to pondering God’s words. With this kind of support and help for the newcomers, some of them became willing to attend gatherings again. Once I corrected my attitude, leaned on God, and put genuine effort in, I got better results in my duty.

I was always being slippery and perfunctory in my duty before. Though I wasn’t physically suffering, I was always living in difficulty. I couldn’t receive God’s guidance, I was accomplishing less and less in my duty, and I always worried that God would abandon me and eliminate me. I was so depressed and in pain. Once I put my heart into my duty, I could feel God’s presence and guidance. I also made progress in my duty and gained a sense of peace and steadiness. I truly experienced how important our attitude toward duty is. When facing difficulties, only by paying a real price and considering God’s intention can we gain the Holy Spirit’s enlightenment and guidance and do our duty effectively.